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Articles from Janet Pfeiffer | Selfgrowth.com
- I DARE YOU TO ASK THIS - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2017 from Janet PfeifferRelationships are critically important in our lives. On a professional level, being a good team player and getting along well with others enables us to maintain our jobs and receive such perks as bonuses or promotions. Also, connecting with the right people can advance our careers providing we ...
Views: 1638 - The BLAME Game - by Submitted on Nov 16, 2016 from Janet PfeifferWhen something goes wrong in your life, who do you blame? “I’m in so much debt because the economy is bad and everything is so expensive. It’s not my fault” “My mother always criticized me when I was a child. That’s why I suffer from low self esteem and make so many bad choices.” Sadly, ...
Views: 1630 - THE 15 MINUTE CONFLICT RESOLUTION SOLUTION - by Submitted on Dec 21, 2016 from Janet PfeifferI abhor arguing. It's a waste of precious time and energy and robs me of my serenity. Conflict, however, is horse of another color. Conflict occurs daily in each of our lives. It simply means that there is a disagreement, a difference of opinion. My husband and I engage in disputes on a regular ...
Views: 1629 - Say What You Mean Without Being Mean - by Submitted on Aug 14, 2013 from Janet Pfeiffer(Excerpt from BUILT TOUGH? ) I often meet people who refer to themselves as tough. My perception, at times, is quite the opposite: I see them as mean-spirited. What exactly does it mean to be tough? Ford Motor Company manufactures several size trucks. Their tag line is "Ford trucks, built ...
Views: 1627(1 vote) - Alternative Healing Modalities for Anger - by Submitted on Jul 30, 2014 from Janet PfeifferWhen I was a child, my mom always utilized natural methods for healing. Fevers were treated with cold compresses to the forehead, sucking on frozen juice pops, and cool baths. Burns were treated with ice, colds with chicken soup. Rarely was medication given to restore health. Even when we ...
Views: 1622 - Six Surefire Ways to Offend Someone - by Submitted on Nov 28, 2012 from Janet PfeifferA recent email announcement sent to my entire database promoting my latest book, The Great Truth: Shattering Life's Most Insidious Lies That Sabotage Your Happiness Along With the Revelation of Life's Sole Purpose, prompted two angry responses. In both cases, the recipients took offense to my ...
Views: 1614(1 vote) - Anger: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly - by Submitted on Jul 27, 2016 from Janet PfeifferAs a child I was taught that anger was a bad emotion but I've have since come to understand that there are no bad feelings. All emotions have purpose and value as they teach us about ourselves based on how we react to external events. We assign value to each depending on how people act them out. ...
Views: 1610 - Children of Divorce: The Angry Aftermath - by Submitted on Sep 04, 2013 from Janet PfeifferDivorce is difficult for everyone. Even though children are resilient in many areas of life, divorce takes its toll on the youngest family members as well. While superficially they may appear to be fine, their internal struggles and turmoil are often hidden beneath an exterior of normalcy. ...
Views: 1609(1 vote) - The Death Of Innocence - by Submitted on Dec 27, 2012 from Janet PfeifferThe recent tragedy in Newtown, CT, is one of unspeakable horror. The latest in what appears to be an alarming trend of mass murders in American communities is, in my mind, the most gruesome - due not only to the sheer numbers of lives lost but more significantly because of the tender ages of the ...
Views: 1605(1 vote) - EXPOSING COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT ANGER - by Submitted on Aug 30, 2017 from Janet PfeifferI've been presenting seminars on understanding and healing anger for 25 years and it never ceases to amaze me how much misinformation is circulating about one of life's most powerful emotions. Lack of accurate facts and techniques can have serious repercussions in every aspect of life from ...
Views: 1603 - Finding Inner Peace- - by Submitted on Jun 04, 2014 from Janet PfeifferNo matter where you go in life, you'll find that humans share similar goals: we are all seeking happiness, success, good health, wealth, and love. Some are fortunate to acquired some or all of them. And yet as quickly as we obtain them we can lose them or they can disappoint and hurt us. You ...
Views: 1602 - WHEN LYING IS THE BETTER OPTION - by Submitted on Aug 16, 2017 from Janet PfeifferCurrently there is a commercial on TV where a cheerful woman visits her new neighbor with a homemade pie. She states that she has actually come by not to simply welcome the woman into the neighborhood but to see if in fact she might be weird in some way. The smiling neighbor inquires as to ...
Views: 1602 - 4 SIMPLE RULES FOR A HAPPY LIFE - by Submitted on Aug 23, 2017 from Janet PfeifferMost people I know want to be happy. I say most because there some who are really miserable and seem content remaining that way. They resist every opportunity for joy and find excuses to stay stuck in their gloom. Although I believe that deep down inside every human being desires happiness, I ...
Views: 1601 - How to Change Without Changing (and why it's important) - by Submitted on Feb 24, 2016 from Janet PfeifferNot everyone likes change. Some are comfortable precisely where they are and prefer to stay within their comfort zone. Others are more adventurous and enjoy a good challenge. They are more open to trying new things in order to experience something new or perhaps to learn something that will ...
Views: 1600 - MAD, SAD, OR GLAD: THE OPTIONS - by Submitted on Feb 01, 2017 from Janet PfeifferWe all get angry from time-to-time. Sometimes our anger is righteous, that is to say it is justifiable and other times without valid cause. For instance, imagine your child is late returning from an evening basketball game. He does not call to let you know that the game went into overtime. ...
Views: 1598 - The Dangers of Tolerating or Accepting What You Cannot Change (and the Surprising Alternative) - by Submitted on Aug 28, 2013 from Janet PfeifferYears ago, there was a major campaign in schools teaching children to tolerate the difference of others. It was an attempt to create a more comfortable and conducive environment for children of all cultures and ethnic backgrounds to coexist peacefully. I suppose some good came of it but still ...
Views: 1593 - Road Rage: Drive to Stay Alive - by Submitted on Oct 16, 2013 from Janet PfeifferRoad rage is one of the leading causes of accidents and deaths in this country. According to a report by CNN, an estimated 28,000 people each year are killed due to aggressive drivers. It's easy to see how cities such as Miami, NY, Boston, LA, and Washington DC (the cities with the most ...
Views: 1590(3 votes) - IT'S NOT FAIR! - by Submitted on Sep 06, 2017 from Janet PfeifferAt one time or another, we've all complained that life isn't fair. Children do it all the time: Karen, who is older by two years, is allowed to stay up later than her younger siblings. They complain to dad that they're being treated unjustly, not realizing that at the same age her bedtime was ...
Views: 1584 - D~U~C~A~P Method of Dealing With a Difficult Person - by Submitted on Apr 06, 2016 from Janet PfeifferWe could all use a few suggestions for dealing with those difficult coworkers, obnoxious family members, or challenging neighbors that find their way into our lives. Some really know how to push our buttons and bring out the worst in us; others are stubborn or opinionated; still others can be ...
Views: 1579 - SWEET (?) REVENGESubmitted on Sep 01, 2009 from Janet PfeifferIf your brother said something hurtful to you, how would you respond? If your best friend betrayed you, what would you do? If your neighbor damaged your property and failed to make restitution, how would you handle it? Some seek revenge. They subscribe to the adage, "Don't get mad. Get ...
Views: 1570(3 votes) - How to Stop Being Angry With Someone - by Submitted on Feb 18, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI find it amusing that very often when I'm scheduled to do a radio show or present a lecture I'm speaking on a subject matter that reflects a lesson I need reminded of. Today's show is no exception. I'm one who is slow to anger and quick to forgive. However, occasionally I find myself trapped in ...
Views: 1558 - "GO AHEAD - GET GOOD AND ANGRY!" - by Submitted on Mar 22, 2017 from Janet PfeifferIt's hard to avoid getting angry. Even those who are relatively easy going find themselves irate from time to time. At the most inopportune moments, anger can rear its ugly head and create all sorts of havoc in our lives. Consider these examples: You've been under extraordinary amounts of ...
Views: 1556 - WHY YOU NEED TO CHANGE - by Submitted on Jul 26, 2017 from Janet PfeifferPeople become defensive at the thought of someone telling them or implying that they must change. "I am who I am; take it or leave it" is often the response. "I'm not changing for anyone. Except me for who I am or don't be in my life." While many view these comments as signs of self-confidence - ...
Views: 1551 - ROAD RAGE: A MATTER OF LIFE OR DEATH - by Submitted on Jul 05, 2017 from Janet PfeifferRecently, I've been driving into NY City to do mediations for a large clothing manufacture on Madison Ave. I used to teach classes at the Learning Annex and some of my son's doctor's were in the city as well. However, it's been awhile and as incomprehensible as it may sound, NY has become even ...
Views: 1550 - Ten Tips on How to Argue With an Idiot - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2013 from Janet Pfeiffer"Idiots" are simply people like you and I who are struggling with unresolved personal issues ranging from low self-esteem to ego, insecurity to poor impulse control and more. While it is acceptable to regard the behavior as idiotic, it is never permissible to label the individual as such. People ...
Views: 1550(2 votes) - PROD Method of Conflict Resolution - by Submitted on Aug 06, 2014 from Janet PfeifferConflict: one of the most feared words in the English language and sadly one of the most misunderstood as well. My mission: to bring deeper awareness to this benign term, to remove all preconceived negativity associated with disagreements, and to reinstate it's position of value in our ...
Views: 1542 - Depression and Global Consciousness - A Very Unique Perspective - by Submitted on Aug 27, 2014 from Janet PfeifferI recently read an article that described depression as "a psychological reaction to the violent deformities of the modern world." I found that statement deeply provocative and began to ponder it's meaning. "Anger turned inward" doesn't satisfy me anymore. I do not subscribe to the belief that ...
Views: 1541 - THE T-I-B-Bs AFFECT ON ANGER - by Submitted on Apr 05, 2017 from Janet PfeifferAlthough we often classify a person's actions as problematic, in truth a person's conduct is never the real problem. Behavior is nothing more than an outward expression of an internal issue. For example, if an individual is in a bad mood and arguing with those around them, the fighting simply ...
Views: 1537 - 14 Common Reasons We Get Angry and Their Solutions - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2016 from Janet PfeifferWhile conducting research for today's show, I found fourteen of the most common reasons people get angry. Keep in mind, these are only the triggers. Outside circumstances are never the actual cause. There are three root causes - hurt, fear, and frustration - that prompt anger in us. Let's ...
Views: 1536 - "THE F~B~I WAY TO WARD OFF ANGER - by Submitted on Mar 15, 2017 from Janet PfeifferI've been teaching people about anger for nearly twenty five years. What I do is commonly referred to as anger management training. However, this implies that people must first become irate and then seek methods of how to manage it effectively, express it appropriately, and ultimately put it to ...
Views: 1535 - The Illusion of Anger - by Submitted on Nov 26, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI sent out an email about my upcoming show, The Illusion of Anger, and was met with an angry response. "Anger is NOT an illusion! People die from anger!" he wrote. I am well aware of that. However, that is not the illusion I'm speaking of. According to Webster's dictionary, anger is a feeling ...
Views: 1532 - M & M's: Motive and Method - by Submitted on Aug 07, 2013 from Janet PfeifferPeople often ask me if they should say something to someone or make a particular life decision. My response to them is, "Why would you and how are you planning to?" Motive (intent) is a key factor in determining the validity of any decision. "No one likes my sister-in-law and I'm going to ...
Views: 1531 - FORGIVENESS: WHY WE DON'T, BUT NEED TO AND HOW Part 1 - by Submitted on May 31, 2017 from Janet PfeifferIs there someone in your life that you either refuse to forgive or are having a hard time with? I've often heard people make statements such as "I'll never forgive them for what they did!" Or, "Some things should never be forgiven." Still others feel that some people simple do not deserve ...
Views: 1527 - How to Make a Difficult Conversation Easier - by Submitted on Feb 04, 2015 from Janet PfeifferConversations can be risky at times. The more sensitive the topic, the more delicately we need to approach it while maintaining a truthful and honest demeanor . The subtle balance between being blunt and abrasive or being effectual is one that many are not equipped to navigate. In my more ...
Views: 1527 - The Healing Power of Forgiveness - by Submitted on Jul 17, 2013 from Janet PfeifferForgiveness is oftentimes misunderstood and difficult to put into action. For some, when another offends or betrays them, moving beyond the anger and the need to get even can feel impossible. Forgiveness is a conscious choice to let go of all anger, pain, bitterness, and negative feelings ...
Views: 1527 - Her Way or the Highway - by Submitted on Nov 21, 2012 from Janet PfeifferFor more than a month I posted her picture on my social media sites. "Please open your heart and adopt 'Odette'. She is a precious yorkie/poodle mix rescued from a puppy mill." Her photo didn't do her justice. She sat huddled in the back of her cage at RBARI shelter in Oakland, her tortured life ...
Views: 1520 - GOOD L~U~C DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE - by Submitted on Jul 12, 2017 from Janet PfeifferLast week, I spoke before a group of business professionals about dealing with difficult people. It seems that no matter where we are in life, whether at home with our families, in social settings, at work, or just out and about, we encounter challenging and obnoxious people. The first issue we ...
Views: 1512 - The Pitfalls of Guilt and Shame - by Submitted on Jun 12, 2013 from Janet PfeifferThere have been times in our lives when most of us have struggled with issues of guilt or shame. I have. The night my mom and I put my dad into a nursing home was by far one of the worst moments in my life. To a great extent this was due to the extreme guilt I was feeling over my perceived ...
Views: 1512 - IT'S NOT FAIR! - by Submitted on Sep 06, 2017 from Janet PfeifferAt one time or another, we've all complained that life isn't fair. Children do it all the time: Karen, who is older by two years, is allowed to stay up later than her younger siblings. They complain to dad that they're being treated unjustly, not realizing that at the same age her bedtime was ...
Views: 1511 - Sticks and Stones: Disarming Hurtful Words - by Submitted on May 29, 2013 from Janet PfeifferI used to pride myself on being sensitive. The problem was I was easily hurt by the things other people said to me. I lived in a chronic state of pain which lead to a lifetime of unhappiness and low self-esteem. But the alternative (being cold and aloof) was less appealing so I resigned myself ...
Views: 1511(1 vote) - Doorbells, Dishtowels, Ducks, and Cake Relieve Anger - by Submitted on Oct 29, 2014 from Janet PfeifferDucks, dishtowels, and doorbells: one wouldn't think they're connected to anger in any way. Cake, on the other hand, is a no-brainer: when upset, eat some. Plain and simple. No one can be angry when stuffing their mouths with a confectionery delight topped with butter cream icing and sugar ...
Views: 1508 - Ten Tips For Arguing Wtih An Idiot - by Submitted on Nov 23, 2016 from Janet Pfeiffer"Idiots" are simply people like you and I who are struggling with unresolved personal issues ranging from low self-esteem to ego, insecurity to poor impulse control and more. While it is acceptable to regard the behavior as idiotic, it is never permissible to label the individual as such. People ...
Views: 1507(1 vote) - It's Not Fair! - by Submitted on Sep 24, 2014 from Janet PfeifferAt one time or another, we've all complained that life isn't fair. Children do it all the time: Karen, who is older by two years, is allowed to stay up later than her younger siblings. They complain to dad that they're being treated unjustly, not realizing that at the same age her bedtime was ...
Views: 1496 - Forgiveness and Inner Peace - the Connection - by Submitted on Jul 09, 2014 from Janet PfeifferForgiveness: so many misconceptions and misunderstandings; so many who believe forgiveness is reserved for a chosen few or must be preceded with an apology. Still others feel at times that it is impossible or worse, that there are those not deserving of its graces. And so they suffer...all of ...
Views: 1495 - Part 2: The Surprising Cause of Stress - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI'd be hard-pressed to find anyone who never experiences stress. Most of us become frustrated when things don't go the way we planned or when others don't comply with how we want them to be or behave. A sense of losing control triggers feelings of uncertainty within us. Mild anxiety, or ...
Views: 1495 - RIGHTEOUS ANGER - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2017 from Janet PfeifferIn regards to anger, I have good news and some bad news. First the good news: there is nothing wrong with being angry. Anger is a normal, healthy emotion. It is even necessary for justice to preside as well as for our very survival. The bad news is that it is not ok to express it whenever and ...
Views: 1495 - How to Pray When You're Angry - by Submitted on Apr 08, 2014 from Janet PfeifferI begin each day in prayer. It is a vital part of my life. Mine are not the typical "gimme" prayers. I have matured beyond the childish requests of wanting my every wish granted. (With the exception of - I'm still praying for that pony for Christmas!) I've learned that what I'm seeking may not ...
Views: 1489 - 3 Must Have's That Resolve Conflicts - by Submitted on Feb 03, 2016 from Janet PfeifferConflict is a natural and even healthy aspect of life. It enables us to see another perspective of an issue, to creatively discuss and seek solutions to our differences, to learn to be open-minded and flexible, to practice the fine art of compromise or in some instances to graciously concede to ...
Views: 1487 - Addressing the Primary Sources of Conflict - by Submitted on Mar 30, 2016 from Janet PfeifferConflict is a normal, healthy, and useful part of life. At its simplest, it means there is a disagreement or difference of opinion between two or more individuals. In life we can identify two types of conflict: internal and external. Internal conflict, the root issue causing discomfort and the ...
Views: 1486 - Healing Anger Natur-ally - by Submitted on Aug 13, 2014 from Janet PfeifferSeveral years ago, I had a client whose nine-year old son had anger issues. His doctor diagnosed him with ADD and suggested medication to quell his angry outbursts. "What do you think?" the mother inquired of me. Not an advocate of prescription medications (with the exception of the most extreme ...
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