Self Improvement Site
On The Internet! Take the Self Improvement Tour
On The Internet! Take the Self Improvement Tour
Articles from Janet Pfeiffer | Selfgrowth.com
- IT'S NOT FAIR! - by Submitted on Sep 06, 2017 from Janet PfeifferAt one time or another, we've all complained that life isn't fair. Children do it all the time: Karen, who is older by two years, is allowed to stay up later than her younger siblings. They complain to dad that they're being treated unjustly, not realizing that at the same age her bedtime was ...
Views: 1522 - IT'S NOT FAIR! - by Submitted on Sep 06, 2017 from Janet PfeifferAt one time or another, we've all complained that life isn't fair. Children do it all the time: Karen, who is older by two years, is allowed to stay up later than her younger siblings. They complain to dad that they're being treated unjustly, not realizing that at the same age her bedtime was ...
Views: 1474 - IT'S NOT FAIR! - by Submitted on Sep 06, 2017 from Janet PfeifferAt one time or another, we've all complained that life isn't fair. Children do it all the time: Karen, who is older by two years, is allowed to stay up later than her younger siblings. They complain to dad that they're being treated unjustly, not realizing that at the same age her bedtime was ...
Views: 1596 - IT'S NOT FAIR! - by Submitted on Oct 18, 2017 from Janet PfeifferAt one time or another, we've all complained that life isn't fair. Children do it all the time: Karen, who is older by two years, is allowed to stay up later than her younger siblings. They complain to dad that they're being treated unjustly, not realizing that at the same age her bedtime was ...
Views: 1393 - Joe Frasier's Got Nothing On Me (Reactive Anger) - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2014 from Janet PfeifferI was an instructor at the Learning Annex in NY City for many years. Classes ended at 9 pm and the ride home was a long one. One evening, after teaching an anger management course for three hours, I pulled into my driveway around 11 pm, exhausted and anxious to crawl into bed. I pulled my car ...
Views: 1476 - Just Say "No" to Drama - by Submitted on Sep 30, 2015 from Janet PfeifferIt seems as though one cannot make it through an entire day without drama popping up somewhere. Whether at work, in the news, or within our own homes, we are constantly surrounded with chaos and crisis. While some seem to thrive on it, others avoid it like the plague. Not all drama is harmful. ...
Views: 1357 - Kids + Divorce + Blended Families = Anger - by Submitted on Jun 11, 2014 from Janet PfeifferDivorce - it's a word that makes me cringe every time I hear it. Mine was thirty-two years ago (not of my choosing) and was one of the most painful periods of my life. Two people brought together in love take a sacred vow to love, honor, and cherish one another for eternity. No one ever says, ...
Views: 2774 - LAUGH AWAY ANGER - by Submitted on Mar 29, 2017 from Janet PfeifferPeople take life far too seriously. There are important issues in our world such as child abuse, war, poverty, starvation, disease, etc. These are all matters critical for the well-being of humanity. Each one needs to be addressed and resolved quickly in order to protect mankind and eliminate ...
Views: 2048 - Let Go (of) My Ego: The Connection Between Ego and Anger - by Submitted on Jun 03, 2015 from Janet PfeifferWhile in college back in the 60's, I majored in psychology. While it was not my eventual degree, I continued to find it a fascinating subject even decades later. I remember during one of my classes the professor stated that there were only two emotions: love and fear. I found that difficult to ...
Views: 1896 - LIVING IN THE PAST HAS IT'S PERKS - by Submitted on Aug 31, 2016 from Janet PfeifferI think the majority of people would agree that it's unhealthy to live in the past. After all, we're all familiar with the new age philosophy, "Yesterday is History, Tomorrow a Mystery, Today is a Gift, That's why it's called the Present". Living in the past holds us back from being able to ...
Views: 1235 - L~A~V~S~S METHOD: 5 KEYS TO RESOLVE CONFLICT - by Submitted on Nov 02, 2016 from Janet PfeifferKeeping our disagreements from becoming full-blown fights can be challenging. Many times, we're so passionate about our beliefs or what we want to do that any form of opposition causes us to become frustrated and angry. We may prefer that others simply agree with our position or if they don't to ...
Views: 1667 - M & M's: Motive and Method - by Submitted on Aug 07, 2013 from Janet PfeifferPeople often ask me if they should say something to someone or make a particular life decision. My response to them is, "Why would you and how are you planning to?" Motive (intent) is a key factor in determining the validity of any decision. "No one likes my sister-in-law and I'm going to ...
Views: 1541 - MAD, SAD, OR GLAD: THE OPTIONS - by Submitted on Feb 01, 2017 from Janet PfeifferWe all get angry from time-to-time. Sometimes our anger is righteous, that is to say it is justifiable and other times without valid cause. For instance, imagine your child is late returning from an evening basketball game. He does not call to let you know that the game went into overtime. ...
Views: 1607 - Mediation With a Twist - by Submitted on Nov 11, 2015 from Janet PfeifferWe all have the opportunity to be mediators at various times in our lives. Two family members are arguing and cannot come to a resolution about the issue in dispute. We intervene and lend a helping hand. Perhaps an objective third part can offer some insights or suggestions that have alluded ...
Views: 1304 - Misdirected Anger - by Submitted on Jan 28, 2015 from Janet PfeifferWe've all taken our anger out on the wrong party, not to say that there is ever a right party who is deserving of our ire. It's not uncommon to be upset with one person and misdirect it at someone or something else. Your boss has been crabby all day and continually comments on every aspect of ...
Views: 10536 - More Advantageous Than Anger - by Submitted on Mar 30, 2016 from Janet PfeifferAnger is a very powerful emotion which many conclude is a bad feeling. Whether one chooses to use it in a constructive manner or in a hostile way, it carries a lot of punch (figuratively speaking, of course). As you become angry your body's muscles tense up. Inside your brain, neurotransmitter ...
Views: 1318 - More Meaningful Than Happiness - by Submitted on Jan 29, 2014 from Janet PfeifferGo on Amazon. Do a search for books on happiness. You'll find over 15,000 titles. Everyone wants to be happy and some need help finding it. Some even believe that the purpose of life is to be happy. We seek people and things that will fulfill this dream. "I want to marry someone who's going to ...
Views: 1335 - Never Allow This To Happen To You! - by Submitted on Sep 14, 2016 from Janet PfeifferWe're all influenced by those around us and by what is occurring in our lives. Something as simple as the weather can affect how we feel. A cloudy, rainy day can take an otherwise cheerful person and transform them into a gloomy Gus of sorts. Being stuck in traffic can alter one's mood from ...
Views: 1430 - NEVER BE A VICTIM AGAIN! - by Submitted on May 03, 2017 from Janet PfeifferAt some time in life, most people feel as though they've been treated unfairly to the extent that they would consider themselves a victim. Certainly those who have been the target of a violent crime fall into that category according to society's standards. Even those of lesser offenses can view ...
Views: 1811 - New Year - No Anger - by Submitted on Dec 31, 2014 from Janet PfeifferHere it is: the beginning of another new year. All around the globe people are making New Year's resolutions to lose weight, be happier, spend more quality time with their families and so on. I find it rather odd that in a world filled with anger and violence no one makes a declaration to "not ...
Views: 1467 - Oh, Deer! - by Submitted on Aug 19, 2012 from Janet PfeifferI was ecstatic when we moved into our home fifteen years ago. Leaving behind a congested suburb for a more rural area abundant with wildlife was a dream-come-true for me. I’ve always felt a special connection with nature and to be living among her finest was heaven! Herds of deer, magnificent ...
Views: 1467 - One Part is the Whole - by Submitted on Apr 11, 2012 from Janet PfeifferI have been busy with the media discussing the recent killing of seventeen year old Trayvon Martin in Sanford, Florida. A volunteer with a local neighborhood watch committee observed Martin walking alone wearing a “hoodie” sweatshirt draped over his head. The volunteer, George Zimmerman, called ...
Views: 1808 - Our Greatest Fear - by Submitted on Nov 05, 2014 from Janet PfeifferAsk anyone: they'll tell you that public speaking is a person's greatest fear. Yet according to a recent article by Steve Nash flying, heights, the dark, intimacy, failure, rejection, spiders, and commitment top the list. Add to that the fear of being alone, losing a loved one (especially a ...
Views: 1314 - Part 2: "20+ TIMES TO NOT SAY ANYTHING" - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2017 from Janet PfeifferContinuing from where we left off last week, remember that there is a time to speak and a time to keep our mouths shut. Here are more examples of when it's best to remain silent: 11. When you are tempted to outright lie. People lie for a variety of reasons: to protect themselves or another ...
Views: 1754 - Part 2: The Surprising Cause of Stress - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI'd be hard-pressed to find anyone who never experiences stress. Most of us become frustrated when things don't go the way we planned or when others don't comply with how we want them to be or behave. A sense of losing control triggers feelings of uncertainty within us. Mild anxiety, or ...
Views: 1505 - Part 3: Stress-Less Solutions - by Submitted on Apr 29, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI don't worry much. When an issue arises that cause me distress, my mind instantly begins searching for possible solutions. I wasn't always like this - it took years of awareness and effort but it has certainly paid off. Take this past week, for example. I use a service to heavily promote both ...
Views: 1479 - Peace on Earth: Beyond the Season - by Submitted on Dec 11, 2013 from Janet PfeifferAh, the holidays! A wonderful time of the year for many reasons: the birth of Jesus, Christmas decorations, the exchanging of gifts, families coming together to celebrate, and holiday carols that remind us of "peace on Earth, good will towards men". It' s a lovely sentiment that for most seems ...
Views: 1367 - Pet Peeves: The Things That Anger Us the Most - by Submitted on Aug 21, 2013 from Janet PfeifferI frequently receive emails from people upset about something in their life that is not going according to their plans. They scrutinize the behaviors of others and complain because people are not doing what they are supposed to be doing according to their standards. Some of the most frequent ...
Views: 2024 - Preventing Another Orlando Massacre - by Submitted on Jun 22, 2016 from Janet PfeifferLast week our country was shattered by yet another senseless massacre of innocent people. A gunman opened fire inside Pulse, a crowded gay nightclub in Orlando, Florida, early Sunday morning, leaving at least 49 people dead in the worst mass shooting in modern U.S. history. Gays have long been ...
Views: 1476 - Problem Interactions in the Workplace - by Submitted on Jan 14, 2015 from Janet PfeifferMost of us work for a living. On or off the job we are bound to encounter a wide range of, shall I say, challenging personalities? Bullies, intimidators, hypocrites, backstabbers, underminers, instigators, complainers, gossips, withholders, and know-it-alls just to name a few. Their presence can ...
Views: 2056 - PROD Method of Conflict Resolution - by Submitted on Aug 06, 2014 from Janet PfeifferConflict: one of the most feared words in the English language and sadly one of the most misunderstood as well. My mission: to bring deeper awareness to this benign term, to remove all preconceived negativity associated with disagreements, and to reinstate it's position of value in our ...
Views: 1553 - PUSHED TOO FAR: WHEN PEOPLE SNAP - by Submitted on Oct 04, 2017 from Janet PfeifferWe are all too familiar with headline stories about people who are pushed to their limits and snap. Whether on the job, within their own families, or even children in school - everyone has their breaking point. In 2010, Omar Thorton, a 34-year old employee at the Hartford Beer Distributors in ...
Views: 1822 - P~R~E ANGER: PREVENT, REDUCE, ELIMINATE - by Submitted on Jul 19, 2017 from Janet PfeifferYou've heard me say in previous shows that anger is a normal, healthy, and in many cases a useful emotion. While some may believe that the feeling itself is wrong or bad, it's not. It is the way we choose to express it and use it determines if it becomes a positive force in our lives to bring ...
Views: 1466 - Rage Against a Lion Killer - by Submitted on Aug 05, 2015 from Janet PfeifferThe recent trophy killing of Cecil the Lion in Zimbabwe by an American dentist has enraged the world. Social media has exploded with demands to bring the killer to justice and ban hunting entirely. I am an animal lover in every sense of the word and share in the anger that so many others feel. ...
Views: 1270 - Redefining Victimization - A New Approach - by Submitted on Jul 16, 2014 from Janet Pfeiffer"I'm a victim of domestic violence." That's one phrase you'll never hear emanating from my mouth. Even though I spent three years engaged to marry someone who verbally and physically abused me, I never once entertained the thought of myself as a victim. Perhaps it's because I define a victim as ...
Views: 1324 - RIGHTEOUS ANGER - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2017 from Janet PfeifferIn regards to anger, I have good news and some bad news. First the good news: there is nothing wrong with being angry. Anger is a normal, healthy emotion. It is even necessary for justice to preside as well as for our very survival. The bad news is that it is not ok to express it whenever and ...
Views: 1506 - RIOTING IN N. CAROLINA - by Submitted on Sep 28, 2016 from Janet PfeifferRecently a 43 year old man and father of seven, Keith Lamont Scott, was killed by police in Charlotte, NC. As is often the case, there are conflicting reports as to what actually happened. Currently, an investigation by a separate state agency is taking place to determine if this shooting was ...
Views: 1215 - ROAD RAGE: A MATTER OF LIFE OR DEATH - by Submitted on Jul 05, 2017 from Janet PfeifferRecently, I've been driving into NY City to do mediations for a large clothing manufacture on Madison Ave. I used to teach classes at the Learning Annex and some of my son's doctor's were in the city as well. However, it's been awhile and as incomprehensible as it may sound, NY has become even ...
Views: 1564 - Sarcasm, Fear and Arrogance - by Submitted on Dec 09, 2015 from Janet PfeifferConsider the following scenario: you and your neighbor engage in a political discussion. After a few moments, it becomes apparent that the two of you have serious disagreements about the upcoming presidential elections. Being equally as passionate about your positions, the debate quickly becomes ...
Views: 2694 - Sarcasm: Is It Humor or Something Sinister? - by Submitted on Mar 05, 2014 from Janet PfeifferI hate sarcasm. It's rude, hurtful, and offensive. Yet I have met many people who insist that it is humorous. "Sarcasm can be funny, " my friend John told me. "I beg to differ", I replied. "There is nothing funny about saying something hurtful to another person." "Yes, but...", he continued, ...
Views: 2141 - SAVING AMERICA: HOW TO REVERSE HATRED AND RESTORE UNITY - by Submitted on Jun 28, 2017 from Janet PfeifferOur country is experiencing the most tumultuous and dangerous period that I can remember since the race riots in the 1960's. Political dissension, racial profiling, random massacres, gender prejudice, a reckless and deceitful media, entitlement, and more have caused a division of American of ...
Views: 1890 - Self-Forgiveness - by Submitted on Aug 19, 2015 from Janet PfeifferForgiveness is one of the powerful modalities we have regarding our spiritual and emotional healing. I have always found it easy to forgive those who hurt or offended me yet I am not as generous with forgiving myself. Professionally speaking, this is one of the topics I lecture on that I am most ...
Views: 1287 - Silencing Your Inner Critic - by Submitted on Jan 22, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI learned to be critical of myself at a very early age. I never did anything right; everyone else was better than me; and even worse, I was never good enough, period. It didn't help that during my impressionable formative years, society taught that the more you denigrated a child the harder ...
Views: 1345 - Silent Anger - by Submitted on Oct 15, 2014 from Janet PfeifferIn the late sixties, I married my high school sweetheart. He was a quiet person by nature so when we began having difficulties in our marriage and his response was one of silence I thought it was just his personality. Little did I realize it was a manipulative technique that would eventually ...
Views: 3540 - Six Steps to Rebuilding a Broken Trust - by Submitted on Jun 24, 2015 from Janet PfeifferHave you ever disappointed someone or broken a promise? Was the incident serious enough to ultimately compromise the trust between you? We all have been untrustworthy at some point. That doesn't mean that we're bad or selfish. Sometimes, even under the best of circumstances, we let people down. ...
Views: 2000 - Speak Up! Alternatives to Remaining Silent - by Submitted on Jul 01, 2015 from Janet PfeifferWe all get angry. It's a normal, useful, healthy emotion. It's not our anger that gets us in trouble. It's the way in which we express, or suppress, it that that exacerbates the situation. The majority of people I've met believe that there are only two ways of handling anger: the first is ...
Views: 1319 - Spiritual Healing Through Forgivenss - by Submitted on Jul 31, 2013 from Janet PfeifferWe have all been hurt by the things others have said or done (notice I didn’t include “to me/us” at the end of that sentence).* Very often, we say or do things that are inconsiderate or hurtful to the other party. Sometimes, we commit an offense by failing to do what we need to. Whether ...
Views: 1194 - SPIRITUAL SOLUTIONS TO ANGER - by Submitted on Nov 22, 2017 from Janet PfeifferI've spoken many times about the importance of all feelings, anger included. With every emotion we experience, we have the ability to learn much about ourselves. No feeling is inherently wrong. It's how we choose to express and use them that determines their value. In my book "The Secret ...
Views: 2054 - STICKS AND STONES: DISARMING HURTFUL WORDS - by Submitted on Nov 30, 2016 from Janet PfeifferI used to pride myself on being sensitive. The problem was I was easily hurt by the things other people said to me. I lived in a chronic state of pain which lead to a lifetime of unhappiness and low self-esteem. But the alternative (being cold and aloof) was less appealing so I resigned myself ...
Views: 1668 - Ten Tips For Keeping Peace in an Out of Control World - by Submitted on May 20, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI don't know about you but to me the world keeps getting crazier. Nothing makes sense anymore. I sometimes feel as though I've fallen into the rabbit hole in Alice in Wonderland. In an age of endless technology and societal demands, I am acutely aware of the ever constant pressures of living in ...
Views: 1229