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Articles from Janet Pfeiffer | Selfgrowth.com
- Intercept Anger Before It Begins - by Submitted on Nov 26, 2014 from Janet PfeifferWe all get angry. It's a normal part of our human experience. Anger is neither wrong nor bad. As with all emotions, it serves a valuable purpose and in this case alerts us to the fact that something is amiss and needs our attention to correct. It is how we choose to express and apply it that ...
Views: 1372 - Fear: The Good, the Bad, and the Solutions - by Submitted on Nov 20, 2013 from Janet PfeifferI've never met anyone who wasn't afraid of something. I have encountered those who claim they aren't scared of anything but upon deeper introspection, they realize that there are things in life that they worry about or that concern them. (Both worry and concern are milder forms of fear.) There ...
Views: 1371 - Peace on Earth: Beyond the Season - by Submitted on Dec 11, 2013 from Janet PfeifferAh, the holidays! A wonderful time of the year for many reasons: the birth of Jesus, Christmas decorations, the exchanging of gifts, families coming together to celebrate, and holiday carols that remind us of "peace on Earth, good will towards men". It' s a lovely sentiment that for most seems ...
Views: 1367 - Using Emotions As Tools - by Submitted on Dec 30, 2015 from Janet PfeifferVery often people query me as to whether or not anger is a bad emotion to which I reply "No." All emotions have purpose and value. None are good or bad. They simply are. It is how we utilize them, our actions, that determines their positive or negative value. Emotions are messengers that help us ...
Views: 1367 - Three Key Strategies For Reducing Anger - by Submitted on Mar 12, 2014 from Janet PfeifferI see clients ever week who ask me to teach them how to control their tempers. "I'm not the person to help you with that. Controlling anger can be hazardous to your health and to the safety of those around you." Most often, they stare at me in disbelief. "Controlling anger takes an enormous ...
Views: 1365(2 votes) - The A~N~Y Words and Anger - by Submitted on Dec 23, 2015 from Janet PfeifferThere are thousands of things that trigger our anger: aggressive drivers, rude coworkers, disrespectful children, lying politicians, high taxes, unfairness, and favoritism just to name a few. A critical statement or offensive comment can raise our ire to which we may respond with indignation. ...
Views: 1361 - Just Say "No" to Drama - by Submitted on Sep 30, 2015 from Janet PfeifferIt seems as though one cannot make it through an entire day without drama popping up somewhere. Whether at work, in the news, or within our own homes, we are constantly surrounded with chaos and crisis. While some seem to thrive on it, others avoid it like the plague. Not all drama is harmful. ...
Views: 1357 - FORGIVENESS: HOW TO Part 2 - by Submitted on Jun 07, 2017 from Janet PfeifferIn last week's show, we spoke about why some people choose not to forgive and why it's essential to do so. There are many reasons and two of the biggest are: they feel the person is not deserving of being forgiven; 2. they feel that should they grant pardon, the other party will think the ...
Views: 1354 - 7 Steps to Regret Free Decisions - by Submitted on Jul 15, 2015 from Janet PfeifferWe're all faced with making hundreds if not thousands of decisions each day. From choosing the time I get up to what I want to wear, whether I should have breakfast or not, how I'm going to spend my day, or what my attitude will look like - we make choices from morning till night that impact the ...
Views: 1351 - Tough Advice About Anger - by Submitted on Feb 26, 2014 from Janet PfeifferEverybody gets angry, even me. Professionally, I've been helping people understand and reduce their anger for twenty years. And in all honesty, I do practice what I preach. I experience far less anger and frustration than I did when I was younger, perhaps some of which is due to age. People ...
Views: 1346 - Silencing Your Inner Critic - by Submitted on Jan 22, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI learned to be critical of myself at a very early age. I never did anything right; everyone else was better than me; and even worse, I was never good enough, period. It didn't help that during my impressionable formative years, society taught that the more you denigrated a child the harder ...
Views: 1345 - Conquering Depression: There is Hope - by Submitted on Aug 20, 2014 from Janet PfeifferRegardless of how many tragedies occur in this country due to mental health issues, for many Americans there is still a stigma attached to those who suffer. Few are willing to openly address the issue. Tragedies such as Adam Lanza's mass murder of over twenty innocent elementary school children ...
Views: 1342 - Get Difficult Relationships on the Right TRAC - by Submitted on Dec 03, 2014 from Janet PfeifferFor the most part, I don't associate with people who difficult to get along with. Being a sole entrepreneur, I am not subjected to dealing with obnoxious coworkers, irate customers or demanding bosses (although I am tough to work for but fortunately I get along very well with myself). Socially, ...
Views: 1338 - More Meaningful Than Happiness - by Submitted on Jan 29, 2014 from Janet PfeifferGo on Amazon. Do a search for books on happiness. You'll find over 15,000 titles. Everyone wants to be happy and some need help finding it. Some even believe that the purpose of life is to be happy. We seek people and things that will fulfill this dream. "I want to marry someone who's going to ...
Views: 1335 - Your Relationships C*A*N Last Forever - by Submitted on Dec 17, 2014 from Janet PfeifferFor me, one of the saddest things to see is a relationship between two people who previously professed their deep love for one another now entering its final stage of dissolution. The divorce rate in this country is tragically high. When I was young and naive I believed that all you needed for a ...
Views: 1334 - ANGER AND POWER: THE CONNECTION - by Submitted on Oct 05, 2016 from Janet PfeifferWe all seek to be powerful. I'm not speaking necessarily about having authority over others but we certainly want to have control over our own lives. Yet even the most well-intentioned, enlightened person wants to control a particular situation or individual at times. Certainly, parents impose ...
Views: 1330 - Redefining Victimization - A New Approach - by Submitted on Jul 16, 2014 from Janet Pfeiffer"I'm a victim of domestic violence." That's one phrase you'll never hear emanating from my mouth. Even though I spent three years engaged to marry someone who verbally and physically abused me, I never once entertained the thought of myself as a victim. Perhaps it's because I define a victim as ...
Views: 1324 - A NIGHT AT THE RACES - by Submitted on Nov 09, 2016 from Janet PfeifferWhen I was younger I must have fallen asleep for twenty years like Rip Van Winkle. Then when I awoke, somewhere in adulthood, I noticed a most unusual evolving phenomenon: in a world where only two distinct races existed (black and white) there were now Hispanics, Asians, Latinos, and others. ...
Views: 1322 - The Anger Exchange: Give Up These 7 to Gain This Instead - by Submitted on Aug 24, 2016 from Janet PfeifferIf you've read my book, The Secret Side o f Anger, or attended one of my lectures on the topic, you know that while there are thousands of events that can trigger anger, there are actually only three root causes: hurt, fear, and frustration. In any given circumstance, you can trace anger back to ...
Views: 1322 - You Can 'Thank' Away Anger - by Submitted on May 06, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI'm a very polite person. I was taught to always say "please" and "thank you" when I was a child, a practice that has continued throughout my adult life. However, I never realized the latter phrase could be used as a means of eliminating anger. You might think it an odd concept but let me ...
Views: 1320 - Bully Politicians and What We Must Learn From Them - by Submitted on Mar 09, 2016 from Janet PfeifferIf you've been following the presidential debates, you are well aware of the bullying behaviors of some of our candidates. Gone are the days when politicians debated national and global issues. Shockingly, but not surprisingly, the debates have mutated into verbal warfare against each opponent. ...
Views: 1319 - Speak Up! Alternatives to Remaining Silent - by Submitted on Jul 01, 2015 from Janet PfeifferWe all get angry. It's a normal, useful, healthy emotion. It's not our anger that gets us in trouble. It's the way in which we express, or suppress, it that that exacerbates the situation. The majority of people I've met believe that there are only two ways of handling anger: the first is ...
Views: 1319 - More Advantageous Than Anger - by Submitted on Mar 30, 2016 from Janet PfeifferAnger is a very powerful emotion which many conclude is a bad feeling. Whether one chooses to use it in a constructive manner or in a hostile way, it carries a lot of punch (figuratively speaking, of course). As you become angry your body's muscles tense up. Inside your brain, neurotransmitter ...
Views: 1318 - Anger: The Bigger Picture - by Submitted on Oct 12, 2016 from Janet PfeifferHave you ever found yourself in a situation that was somewhat confusing, uncomfortable or perhaps even dangerous? Sometimes it's hard to understand why things happen or why we must participate in particular activities. We don't often understand why certain people enter our lives or why they ...
Views: 1317 - Your Best Defense Against Anger - by Submitted on Feb 17, 2016 from Janet PfeifferCheck out Webster's dictionary. Anger is defined as "a feeling of discomfort or displeasure brought about by feelings of helplessness and powerlessness." My personal definition of a victim is one who views themselves as having no power or authority. Many times, a victim will claim that in a ...
Views: 1315 - Our Greatest Fear - by Submitted on Nov 05, 2014 from Janet PfeifferAsk anyone: they'll tell you that public speaking is a person's greatest fear. Yet according to a recent article by Steve Nash flying, heights, the dark, intimacy, failure, rejection, spiders, and commitment top the list. Add to that the fear of being alone, losing a loved one (especially a ...
Views: 1314 - The "OK" Solution to Criticism - by Submitted on Aug 26, 2015 from Janet PfeifferWe live in a harsh and judgmental world where people are quick to point out the faults and imperfections of others yet seem oblivious to their own. Some misguided souls believe they have a moral obligation and civil duty to help you to be a better person by telling you what a failure you really ...
Views: 1314 - Mediation With a Twist - by Submitted on Nov 11, 2015 from Janet PfeifferWe all have the opportunity to be mediators at various times in our lives. Two family members are arguing and cannot come to a resolution about the issue in dispute. We intervene and lend a helping hand. Perhaps an objective third part can offer some insights or suggestions that have alluded ...
Views: 1304 - You're Right (or Not) to Be Angry - by Submitted on Jun 10, 2015 from Janet PfeifferDon't you hate it when someone tells you not to be angry? People seem to think that they know best how we should or shouldn't feel. I was on the phone recently with a friend who needed to tell me something sensitive and prefaced it with "Now don't get mad at me for telling you this." So I ...
Views: 1304 - Emotioanl Intelligence and Anger - by Submitted on May 25, 2016 from Janet PfeifferIn 1995, author, psychologist, and science journalist, Daniel Goleman, wrote a book entitled, Emotional Intelligence which made its way to The New York Times bestseller list for a year-and-a-half. It was a relatively new concept designed to assist companies in determining which characteristics ...
Views: 1296 - You Can't Ruin My Day - by Submitted on Aug 03, 2016 from Janet PfeifferHave you ever gotten out of bed in the morning declaring that today was going to be a great day? And before your first cup of coffee, something happened that completely ruined everything? Perhaps your child woke up sick or the car wouldn't start or your boss calls you to let you know that ...
Views: 1292(1 vote) - Self-Forgiveness - by Submitted on Aug 19, 2015 from Janet PfeifferForgiveness is one of the powerful modalities we have regarding our spiritual and emotional healing. I have always found it easy to forgive those who hurt or offended me yet I am not as generous with forgiving myself. Professionally speaking, this is one of the topics I lecture on that I am most ...
Views: 1287 - Emotioanl Intelligence and Anger - by Submitted on May 25, 2016 from Janet PfeifferIn 1995, author, psychologist, and science journalist, Daniel Goleman, wrote a book entitled, Emotional Intelligence which made its way to The New York Times bestseller list for a year-and-a-half. It was a relatively new concept designed to assist companies in determining which characteristics ...
Views: 1286 - UFO Method to Eliminate Arguing - by Submitted on Oct 28, 2015 from Janet PfeifferWe all argue. Well, for sure we all disagree. Arguing is an option. We can peacefully debate opposite sides of a topic and without having it escalate to anger, shouting, name-calling, and hurt feelings. Yet oftentimes it does. When people do not feel as though they are being heard or understood ...
Views: 1275 - The" Need" For Anger - by Submitted on Oct 07, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI'd be hard-pressed to find someone who never got angry. Even Jesus expressed anger while here in the physical world. Not all anger is obvious nor acknowledged. Passive/aggressive anger, for instance, can go undetected by those experiencing or receiving it. Sarcasm, sabotage, ignoring someone, ...
Views: 1274 - The "OK" Solution to Criticism - by Submitted on Aug 26, 2015 from Janet PfeifferWe live in a harsh and judgmental world where people are quick to point out the faults and imperfections of others yet seem oblivious to their own. Some misguided souls believe they have a moral obligation and civil duty to help you to be a better person by telling you what a failure you really ...
Views: 1271 - Rage Against a Lion Killer - by Submitted on Aug 05, 2015 from Janet PfeifferThe recent trophy killing of Cecil the Lion in Zimbabwe by an American dentist has enraged the world. Social media has exploded with demands to bring the killer to justice and ban hunting entirely. I am an animal lover in every sense of the word and share in the anger that so many others feel. ...
Views: 1270 - Ten Tips to Fight Fair - by Submitted on Aug 12, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI'm not a fan of boxing nor professional wrestling. I find that, as in real life, the players don't always fight fair. I understand that much is done strictly to boost ratings but still I find it distressing. In real life it is even more disturbing for much damage can occur when one or both ...
Views: 1267 - Your Best Defense Against Anger - by Submitted on Feb 17, 2016 from Janet PfeifferCheck out Webster's dictionary. Anger is defined as "a feeling of discomfort or displeasure brought about by feelings of helplessness and powerlessness." My personal definition of a victim is one who views themselves as having no power or authority. Many times, a victim will claim that in a ...
Views: 1262 - LIVING IN THE PAST HAS IT'S PERKS - by Submitted on Aug 31, 2016 from Janet PfeifferI think the majority of people would agree that it's unhealthy to live in the past. After all, we're all familiar with the new age philosophy, "Yesterday is History, Tomorrow a Mystery, Today is a Gift, That's why it's called the Present". Living in the past holds us back from being able to ...
Views: 1235 - Ten Tips For Keeping Peace in an Out of Control World - by Submitted on May 20, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI don't know about you but to me the world keeps getting crazier. Nothing makes sense anymore. I sometimes feel as though I've fallen into the rabbit hole in Alice in Wonderland. In an age of endless technology and societal demands, I am acutely aware of the ever constant pressures of living in ...
Views: 1229 - A Year Unlike Any Other - by Submitted on Jan 16, 2012 from Janet PfeifferI’m not much for New Year’s resolutions; I don’t make them at all. People have good intentions and initially put forth a valiant effort. But we all know as January progresses enthusiasm wanes and efforts diminish. By February, most are chastising themselves for being failures and vowing to be ...
Views: 1228 - The COLTS Method of Instantly Resolving Problems - by Submitted on Nov 12, 2014 from Janet PfeifferWe've all had our share of problems in life, some more than others but problems none-the-less. If you're anything like me, you eventually grow weary dealing with and finding solutions to unpleasant situations. Rather than win the lottery, some might opt to have all of their problems vanish, ...
Views: 1227 - What To Do About Annoying People? - by Submitted on Jul 06, 2016 from Janet PfeifferI'd venture to say that everyone of us has had to deal with annoying people at some point in our lives. Whether it's a family member who is in everyone's business, a coworker who continually needs your assistance, the know-it-alls who always have to be right or a friend who talks incessantly, ...
Views: 1226(1 vote) - Ping-Pong: It's All in My Head - by Submitted on Sep 01, 2009 from Janet PfeifferGoodwill and Profit were playing ping-pong in my head. My new book, The Secret Side of Anger, was just released in paperback. The original version, in audio, has been on the market since 2008. Friday's mailbox contained an order for the 4 CD set, retailing for $39.99. What the buyer didn't ...
Views: 1215(2 votes) - RIOTING IN N. CAROLINA - by Submitted on Sep 28, 2016 from Janet PfeifferRecently a 43 year old man and father of seven, Keith Lamont Scott, was killed by police in Charlotte, NC. As is often the case, there are conflicting reports as to what actually happened. Currently, an investigation by a separate state agency is taking place to determine if this shooting was ...
Views: 1215 - An In-Depth Look at Anger - by Submitted on Jun 08, 2016 from Janet PfeifferAccording to psychologist Charles Speilberger, Ph.D who specializes in the study of anger, “Anger is an emotional state that varies from mild irritation to intense fury and rage. It's accompanied by physiological, psychological and biological changes. When you get angry, your heart rate and ...
Views: 1211 - Why Do Couples Fight and How Not To - by Submitted on Feb 11, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI enjoy reading advice columns. Yesterday, a disgruntled woman complained that Hallmark created the upcoming holiday of Valentine's Day to remind singles that they are losers. (I'm pretty sure Hallmark wasn't in existence during the Middle Ages when this day was first set aside to celebrate ...
Views: 1206(1 vote) - One Secret That Will Redefine Your Marriage - by Submitted on Feb 12, 2014 from Janet PfeifferI've been assisting couples and former couples professionally for nearly thirty years. Regardless of who comes into my office, there seems to be one common thread - people are seeking to learn how to better get along with one another. Their usual approach is to inform me of everything that's ...
Views: 1205(1 vote) - Spiritual Healing Through Forgivenss - by Submitted on Jul 31, 2013 from Janet PfeifferWe have all been hurt by the things others have said or done (notice I didn’t include “to me/us” at the end of that sentence).* Very often, we say or do things that are inconsiderate or hurtful to the other party. Sometimes, we commit an offense by failing to do what we need to. Whether ...
Views: 1194