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Articles from Dan L. Hays | Selfgrowth.com
- They'll Call You Crazy and Lock You Up! - by Submitted on Aug 05, 2011 from Dan L. HaysAfter years of struggling as a writer, by 1996, I had written two books, had publishers interested in both, and had walked away each time. Finally, in complete frustration, I gave up the dream of being a writer. I still felt something was locking up my writing, but I had no idea what it was. ...
Views: 1769(3 votes) - Ghosts of the Wheat Harvest - by Submitted on Aug 05, 2011 from Dan L. HaysIn the fall of 1990, I was meeting with two other men on a regular basis to explore our dreams and aspirations. Every two weeks, we would gather at a Chinese buffet and talk for several hours about things we’d like to do some day. It was around the time of the Men’s Movement, where men went ...
Views: 1622(2 votes) - Why Is This Fantastic News So Scary? - by Submitted on Aug 05, 2011 from Dan L. HaysNote: the real names of the author and her publisher are used with their permission. “Mr. Hays, I really loved the book your book, “Search For Peace.” I spent all weekend reading it, and I just couldn’t put it down. I’d like to talk to you about publishing it.” Those are thrilling words ...
Views: 1530(2 votes) - Testing My Writing Ability - by Submitted on Aug 06, 2011 from Dan L. HaysWhat if I don’t have a talent for creative writing? On the other hand - what if I do? ______ It was September of 1988, and I had signed up for a creative writing class at The University of Houston. The teacher was a well known published author and writing teacher from New York City who had ...
Views: 1246(1 vote) - Writing Through PTSD - by Submitted on Aug 05, 2011 from Dan L. HaysWhen I was six years old I felt very connected with God. I had a sense of peace about my world, and knew, I just knew, that one day I would become a famous writer. It was a sense of destiny that was as tangible as anything I’ve experienced since. I started my first novel at age 13, something ...
Views: 1726(2 votes) - Heartbeat - by Submitted on Aug 05, 2011 from Dan L. HaysIn the fall of 1986 someone said to me "You write very lyrically. Are you a poet?" I replied pretty vehemently, "No, no, I'm not a poet!" as if I was physically trying to push away the concept. I was also ignoring the fact that I had published poetry in a school literary magazine when I was in ...
Views: 1566(2 votes) - Question: Publishing the Book I'm Writing - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2011 from Dan L. HaysSomeone wrote recently and said they were trying to finish a book they were writing, but had gone into a fearful place when thinking about having it published. "It's got me so twisted up that I am afraid to even write at the moment because I don't know what I'll do with the manuscript when it's ...
Views: 2779(3 votes) - Know When to Fold 'Em - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2011 from Dan L. HaysWritten April 12, 1990 How do you know when it's time to say goodbye? To move on? To go separate ways? There comes a point for many people, whether it's with the true love of your life, the gang at church, your oldest friend, or a group you used to hang with, when something is just not the ...
Views: 1983(2 votes) - Redemption - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2011 from Dan L. HaysWritten December 30, 1988 At Thanksgiving of 1988 I returned to Fort Worth, a place of many of my roots - my family, early friends, beginnings. I had lived there for about a year and a half in 1967 and 1968. My family had moved back to the town where my parents had grown up, and where many ...
Views: 2100(2 votes) - The Intervention - Response Letter - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2011 from Dan L. HaysThis letter was written in response to a bogus intervention, as chronicled in the post "The Betrayal." What I did to deal with my anger is written in the post "Anger Contract." My sponsor in one of the 12 step programs, after finding out the details of the night the group took me to ...
Views: 1486(3 votes) - The Anger Contract - by Submitted on Aug 06, 2011 from Dan L. HaysThis Anger Contract was my response to the events chronicled in my previous post, "The Betrayal." A bogus Intervention had been done to me, and had forced me to get in touch with deep anger that I had been trying to release for several years. I knew I needed to do something radical to handle ...
Views: 4263(2 votes) - The Betrayal - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2011 from Dan L. HaysMy next several blog posts are all related to the same topic. They deal with something that happened to me in July of 1988. My Dad had died the previous Thanksgiving, and I was still in the grief process over that loss. As well, I was still involved with a 12 step program for people who had ...
Views: 1923(2 votes) - Letting Go Is Nature's Way - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2011 from Dan L. HaysNote: This topic is particularly on my mind right now - I have just had a friend of 20 years drift away. I held on to the illusion that we were still on the same wavelength for about a year. Then I finally had to admit - we just weren't going down the same road any more. Eventually, I let it ...
Views: 1718(1 vote) - Healing My Anger - Defusing a Time Bomb - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2011 from Dan L. HaysFor many years, I would have told you that yes, there was drinking in my house while I was growing up, but I got out just fine, and it didn’t really affect me. Then when I was in my early ‘30s, I started to see signs that such was not the case. I worked for a time with a prison ministry, ...
Views: 2374(4 votes) - If You Had Any Sense - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2011 from Dan L. Hays(Written August 8, 1990) It was June of 1969. I had just come home from my freshman year at Texas Tech. I had not declared a major except for General Studies. I liked my psychology and sociology courses, and thought about going that direction for a major. We lived in Fort Worth, and ...
Views: 2144(1 vote) - Fight Night - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2011 from Dan L. HaysWritten October 17, 1988 I was out in the back yard shooting baskets with some of the boys from the neighborhood. It was a crisp, sunny fall afternoon, sweatshirt weather, and I was feeling great about life. I had finally gotten the knack of the jump shot, and was really proud of ...
Views: 2066(4 votes) - Talk of Tigers/The Tiger Unveiled - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2011 from Dan L. HaysTalk of Tigers (Written March 9, 1990) "Tell me about your tiger," she said. They were at the zoo, standing in front of the tiger cage. A huge, restless Bengal tiger paced back and forth the length of the cage. His eyes looked devoid of life, cold, neutral. The huge paws silently padded up ...
Views: 1704(4 votes) - The Hunt - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2011 from Dan L. Hays(Written September 20, 1988) We were in a house trailer just outside the Lindreth trading post, in northwest New Mexico. There were six of us on the hunt that year: My Dad and I; Morris - Dad's best friend, and his son Brad; Don - who owned the trailer and was to be our guide, and his son ...
Views: 1918(9 votes) - Overcoming The Fear - Facing The Past - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2011 from Dan L. HaysI received this question from someone who had just read my book, Freedom’s Just Another Word, where I confront some pretty bad demons from my past: How did you overcome your fear of dealing with all the pain coming to the surface? I have not been able to conquer this fear I have of ...
Views: 2380(3 votes) - PTSD - And Didn't Know it! - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2011 from Dan L. HaysI spent a lot of time walking around Houston in the middle '80s with many of the symptoms of PTSD, and didn't know it. I was having flashbacks - of occurrences I didn't remember. I felt like the man in the Bourne Identity with amnesia, who was getting glimpses of his past - a past he could not ...
Views: 3240(8 votes) - Independence Day - Little Danny Set Free! - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2011 from Dan L. HaysFor the last two years I've been working to overcome the effects of damage done by my Grandmother, who we all called Mamaw. When I was 8 years old, she asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I said a famous writer, and she was appalled, and said "If you are a famous writer, they'll call ...
Views: 1908(7 votes) - A Conversation With Dad - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2011 from Dan L. HaysWritten August 5, 1990 All I really wanted to say was "I'm sorry." I had said some hurtful things to my Father. But he had been dead for three years. How do make amends after they're gone? It wasn't perfect, not like him being there, but I was talking to him anyway. Just making up a ...
Views: 1593(5 votes) - Thoughts on My Inner Child - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2011 from Dan L. HaysA good friend emailed me a while back and asked about my experience of the "inner child" on my road to healing. My inner child, who I called Little Danny, was an integral part of the book I had written, "Freedom's Just Another Word." My friend wondered if my experience of that inner child had ...
Views: 1615(7 votes)