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Articles from Richard Nicastro | Selfgrowth.com
- Relationship Help: Growing Your Relationship Throughout the New Year - by Submitted on Jan 18, 2011 from Richard NicastroBeginnings and endings...and your relationship Life is a never-ending series of beginnings and endings—with each ending signaling a new beginning. And it is these beginnings that give us hope that new possibilities are available, that we can shed what hasn't worked and start anew. Each ...
Views: 1303 - Relationship Help: Transform Your Marriage With a Question - by Submitted on Jan 10, 2011 from Richard NicastroQuestions have the power to change people... For centuries, philosophers have known about the power of questions as a tool to finding the deeper truths about life. And questions are one of the central ways in which therapists (including marriage/couples counselors) help clients create more ...
Views: 1270(1 vote) - ***Intimacy 101: Is This Intimacy Or Dependency? - by Submitted on Sep 08, 2008 from Richard NicastroCouples often seek marriage counseling because of difficulties with intimacy. Why are so many couples struggling with intimacy? In order to fully connect with your spouse/partner, you need to share the deepest parts of yourself while maintaining a separate sense of self. This balancing act isn't ...
Views: 1266 - Marriage help: Are you making this communication mistake? - by Submitted on Oct 14, 2009 from Richard NicastroWhen couples come to me for help, the first thing I do is observe how they communicate with each other. Communication is often the gauge of the health of a relationship. There are certain effective communication principles that can help you create a more harmonious marriage or relationship; and ...
Views: 1262(4 votes) - ***Healthy Marriage, Healthy Self: Build A Stronger Connection Through Self-intimacy - by Submitted on Mar 14, 2008 from Richard NicastroIntimacy is all about connection--the feeling that you and your partner are kindred spirits. The hallmark of a healthy marriage or relationship is feeling close and attuned to your partner, but maintaining this connection isn't always easy. Therefore, finding ways to enhance intimacy is a ...
Views: 1261 - ***Marriage Help: 3 Steps to Becoming a Better Listener - by Submitted on Feb 16, 2009 from Richard Nicastro"You never listen to me...I've asked you a thousand times to let me know when you can't pick the kids up from daycare!" In my work with couples, it is common to hear one person accuse the other of "not listening." This usually takes the following form: 1. You ask your partner to do something ...
Views: 1261 - Marriage Advice: Want to build a stronger marriage? Watch your mouth! - by Submitted on Nov 03, 2009 from Richard NicastroHere is my marriage advice to all couples: If you want to strengthen your marriage or relationship: Watch your mouth! Marriage help: It's all about the words we choose There's an old Bee Gees song that says, "It's only words, and words are all I have, to take your heart away." When you ...
Views: 1259(5 votes) - Marriage advice: Why love is not enough--does your partner still like you? - by Submitted on Nov 11, 2009 from Richard NicastroWhy is it that we have no problem lounging around in our favorite sweatpants (with the hole in the knee) and our favorite threadbare T-shirt (with the rip in the sleeve) in front of our spouse/partner, but if our friends/co-workers were on the way over, we'd change into something "decent" in a ...
Views: 1255(3 votes) - ***Build A Better Relationship: Use Your Emotions To Deepen Intimacy - by Submitted on Jun 14, 2008 from Richard NicastroWhether or not you consider yourself an "emotional" person, there's no doubt about it: emotions play a central role in your relationship and in building a deeper level of intimacy. When you share your feelings, you communicate directly about your needs and the deepest parts of yourself. ...
Views: 1250 - ***Love, Laughter and Marriage: Why Laughter is Vital to a Healthy Relationship - by Submitted on Jan 10, 2009 from Richard NicastroTwo happily married couples, together for over fifteen years: "If I had to pick out one thing that has made the difference in our marriage, I guess it would be that he makes me laugh." ~Sarah "We just enjoy each other's company. We're playful and tease each other in a light-hearted way. Life ...
Views: 1245 - Men and Intimacy: Is It Really a Fear of Intimacy? - by Submitted on Oct 29, 2009 from Richard NicastroWhat is a fear of intimacy? The term "fear of intimacy" is often used to describe someone who has difficulty creating a close connection with their spouse/partner. Typically, the phrase highlights a person's struggle to become physically and/or emotionally close, and we often describe this ...
Views: 1240 - ***Relationship Advice: Stop The Negativity And Build A Better Relationship - by Submitted on Nov 09, 2008 from Richard NicastroNew love seems to cradle and carry couples for a time—magnifying all that is good about your partner and your future together. We now know that relationships go through a series of phases over the years—some that can challenge the very bond that holds you together. It's interesting ...
Views: 1225 - ***Relationship Basics: Have You forgotten The Fundamentals Of A Great Relationship? - by Submitted on Aug 05, 2008 from Richard NicastroYou often hear struggling athletes say that they have to "go back to basics." After years of repetition, it's easy to lose sight of the fundamentals they need to stay on top of their game. Often they need an outsider's perspective (i.e., a coach) to help them determine which fundamentals ...
Views: 1218 - *** Relationship Help: 5 Essentials to Keep Your Relationship Fresh - by Submitted on Aug 18, 2009 from Richard NicastroAnyone who is married or in a long-term committed relationship comes to realize that at some point there is a danger of falling into a lifeless routine. The vast number of marriage advice and relationship help books is a clear indication that couples are eagerly searching for ways to head off ...
Views: 1215(4 votes) - Healthy Relationship Program: Create Rituals and Transform Your Relationship - by Submitted on Sep 24, 2007 from Richard NicastroWhen veteran parents give advice to new parents, they often start by explaining the value of routines: bedtimes, storytimes, mealtimes, etc. Well, guess what? We may outgrow footed pajamas and Sippy cups, but we don’t outgrow our need for rituals—repeated, regular events you come ...
Views: 1199 - Relationship Resiliency: 3 Simple Ways To Strengthen Your Relationship - by Submitted on Nov 15, 2007 from Richard NicastroCouples seek out my services when they’re dissatisfied about some aspect of their relationship or marriage. In many instances, small problems have spiraled into larger, complicated ones. (At least the problems feel complicated.) Often, my advice is straightforward and simple, even if the ...
Views: 1186 - Marriage help: Are your arguments helping or hurting your marriage? - by Submitted on Nov 05, 2009 from Richard NicastroQ: "I need some marriage advice. Is arguing bad for a marriage? My husband says it's healthy to argue from time to time but I try to avoid marital conflict at all costs. Can you shed some light on this for us?" A: Relationship conflicts are a natural part of marriage or a long-term ...
Views: 1183(3 votes) - The truth about marriage advice and why you should be skeptical - by Submitted on Nov 09, 2009 from Richard NicastroAny couples counselor will tell you that not all marriages or relationships are salvageable—despite my best efforts (and my pro-marriage and pro-commitment attitudes), some of the couples I've counseled will still make the painful decision to end their marriage or relationship. A sad fact is ...
Views: 1181(3 votes) - ***Marriage Alert! Can Your Relationship Survive The Financial Crisis? - by Submitted on Oct 14, 2008 from Richard NicastroWhen we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Victor Frankl You don't need me to tell you about the dire state of the American economy and the reverberations being felt around the world. While you're probably well aware of how this is directly ...
Views: 1179 - Communication Rx: How To Discuss Sensitive Issues With Your Partner - by Submitted on Nov 18, 2007 from Richard NicastroFact #1: Certain topics of discussion proceed more smoothly with a little planning-- especially sensitive and emotional topics. Fact #2: When it comes to your marriage or relationship, you’re likely to overlook Fact #1. Permit me to make the following assumption: When you’re at ...
Views: 1165 - ***How to Navigate the Maze of Internet Relationship Advice - by Submitted on Feb 07, 2009 from Richard NicastroA computer and access to the Internet: That’s all you need to share your opinion with the world about how you think people should manage their lives, relationships, finances…you name it. It seems like overnight, everyone has become a potential "expert" about some particular ...
Views: 1157(2 votes) - Just For Men…And The Women Who Love Them: How Men Can Communicate More Effectively - by Submitted on Sep 12, 2007 from Richard NicastroQ: My wife complains that I don’t talk to her enough. I really want to make her happy, so I’ve been trying to talk more. Sometimes this works and we have great conversations. But other times, when I try to give her advice, she ends up frustrated with me and I end up with my foot in my mouth. Any ...
Views: 1132 - Relationship Help: 5 Tips to Survive & Thrive This Holiday Season - by Submitted on Nov 23, 2010 from Richard NicastroIf it's the season to be jolly... ...then why are there so many stressed, beleaguered couples walking around? Is it more fitting to say, 'Tis the season to feel tense, frustrated and constantly on-the-go? Whether you're feeling totally overwhelmed or slightly frustrated during the holiday ...
Views: 1122(1 vote) - ***Are your friends hurting your relationship? - by Submitted on Aug 14, 2008 from Richard NicastroYou exist within a web of relationships. For instance, if your friend is going through tough times, you may find yourself feeling an emotional heaviness throughout the day, thinking and worrying about your friend. As this colors your mood, your partner may start to notice that lately you've been ...
Views: 1079 - ***Marriage Alert: Why Falling Out Of Like Is Dangerous To Your Marriage - by Submitted on Jun 23, 2008 from Richard NicastroA recent marketing book I read touted the importance of getting potential clients to "know you, like you and trust you." It seems that marketing and romance have more in common than meets the eye: In the world of marketing you're trying to convince someone your product or service is worthwhile; ...
Views: 1060 - Marital Conflict: Turning Arguments Into Opportunities - by Submitted on Dec 02, 2007 from Richard NicastroOnce an argument has been settled, it's human nature to tuck it away in the back of your mind so you never have to revisit it again. After all, why would you want to stir up all those negative feelings associated with the argument? It's easy to think that only a glutton for punishment would do ...
Views: 1060 - The Ultimate Holiday Gift: Nurture your marriage this holiday season - by Submitted on Dec 14, 2009 from Richard NicastroIf it's the season to be jolly… …then why am I seeing so many stressed, beleaguered couples walking around? Is it more apt to say, 'Tis the season to feel tense, frustrated and constantly on the go? Whether you're feeling totally overwhelmed or slightly frustrated, it's easy to lose ...
Views: 1043(5 votes) - Marriage advice: Your marriage needs this simple communication strategy - by Submitted on Oct 29, 2009 from Richard NicastroArguments are a regular part of Lindsey and Hector's relationship. During a recent couples counseling session, they volleyed insults back and forth with such intensity that I almost stopped the session. But then something remarkable happened: Lindsey said, "Our marriage is too important to me ...
Views: 1009(4 votes) - ***A Simple Formula To Keep Love And Intimacy Alive - by Submitted on Apr 05, 2008 from Richard NicastroI bet if I asked you what you had for breakfast this morning, you'd have a concrete answer. (Even if the answer is "Black coffee" or "Didn't have time.") But how about if I ask you to recall something arguably more important than a single morning meal? Let's see how you fare: In what specific ...
Views: 975 - ***Discover What Your Marriage Is Missing: Your Relationship Check-up Is Long Overdue - by Submitted on Nov 25, 2008 from Richard NicastroNo one can deny the benefit of preventive medicine. First of all, it's often easier to prevent an illness than it is to cure it--that's why you go in for your annual physical (or why you should). And we all can agree that feeling healthy is preferable to feeling sick. So looking out for ...
Views: 971 - Tell Me No Lies: 7 Reasons Why You Might Lie to Your Partner - by Submitted on Feb 17, 2008 from Richard NicastroIn the workshops I conduct for couples, I often ask if anyone has ever lied to their partner (the couples respond anonymously). Usually more than half (sometimes as many as 90%) admit to having lied to their spouse or partner at some point. More than half the people who said they lied to ...
Views: 955 - Relationship Advice: Don't Let Your Changing Feelings Sabotage Your Relationship - by Submitted on Jan 29, 2008 from Richard NicastroQ: There have been times when I'm not absolutely sure that I'm still in love with my husband. I'm afraid this means we're not right for each other, even though we've been married for several years. Can you shed any light on this? A: There are many normal factors that can influence how you feel ...
Views: 951 - ***Marriage Lessons: A Golden-Anniversary Couple Share Their Wisdom - by Submitted on Mar 12, 2008 from Richard NicastroNo matter how well your relationship is humming along right now, there's room for the advice of relationship mentors. Couples who have been together for many years (and who have been relatively happy, despite the inevitable rough patches) have discovered what has benefited their relationship the ...
Views: 948 - ***Marriage Help: Two Therapy Principles That Can Transform Your Relationship - by Submitted on Mar 30, 2008 from Richard NicastroIs life more manageable because of your partner? Do you ever feel upbeat and rejuvenated after spending time with your spouse? Does a reassuring word from your loved one bring you comfort and peace? Intimate relationships have the power to make you feel happier, energized and more alive. ...
Views: 872 - ***Relationship Help: How The Latest Research Can Transform Your Relationship - by Submitted on Apr 13, 2008 from Richard NicastroThink back to the time when your love was new, when you had just fallen in love: How did you know you were in love? Maybe you couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't concentrate on work or chores or anything that didn't involve your love object. Maybe you felt like a totally different person, ...
Views: 825 - Relationship Advice: Turn Anger Into A Relationship Ally - by Submitted on Feb 10, 2008 from Richard NicastroA great deal has been written about the damaging effects that anger can have on intimate relationships. But did you know that anger can be beneficial to your marriage or relationship? The dark side of anger Like all emotions, anger runs along a continuum--from low to high intensity. When ...
Views: 813 - Relationship Resiliency: Positive Interactions And Your Relationship - by Submitted on Oct 01, 2007 from Richard NicastroAmy just got a big promotion at work, and she rushes home to share the news with her partner Larry. She bursts in the door, her body language exuding celebration and excitement, and finds Larry in the basement, running his model railroad layout. Over the chugging and whistling of the train, ...
Views: 754 - Relationship Advice: Practice Acceptance Each Day And Keep The Divorce Lawyer Away - by Submitted on Feb 10, 2008 from Richard NicastroIt is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences ~Audre Lorde In the beginning there were similarities… Early in your relationship, you and your partner probably rejoiced when you discovered shared interests: "I can't ...
Views: 710 - Relationship Rut: New Life For Old Routines - by Submitted on Oct 21, 2007 from Richard NicastroThere aren’t too many things better than a peaceful sleep, right? You’re comfortable, you’re safe, you’re getting important needs met. But what happens when you’re sleeping so soundly that you inadvertently crush an arm for a while? The crimp in your circulation ...
Views: 700 - Relationship Conflict: 3 Common Traps To Avoid When You Argue - by Submitted on Nov 25, 2007 from Richard NicastroI've yet to meet a couple that never argues. Maybe the conflict-free couple exists somewhere, but our paths haven't crossed. Even the most highly compatible couples get into spats now and then. Let's face it, with all the similarities you share with your partner or spouse, there are ...
Views: 662 - 5 Loving Actions That Will Keep Your Love Alive - by Submitted on Nov 09, 2007 from Richard NicastroIt’s no secret that modern life is fast-paced and getting faster every day. In this world, relationships—and all the work they require—can easily be seen as inefficient, time-consuming and simply not gratifying enough. For your relationship to have a healthy chance at survival, ...
Views: 644 - The Ultimate Holiday Gift: Nurture Your Relationship This Holiday Season - by Submitted on Dec 02, 2007 from Richard NicastroIf it's the season to be jolly… …then why am I seeing so many stressed, beleaguered couples walking around? Is it more apt to say, 'Tis the season to feel tense, frustrated and constantly on the go? Whether you're feeling totally overwhelmed or slightly frustrated, it's easy to ...
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