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- Fixing a Broken Partner-Picker - by Do you have a broken partner-picker? Do you keep picking the wrong partners thinking they are the right ones, only to realize you once again picked the same kind of partner as in the past?
If so, your partner-picker can be fixed. It just needs a little work. The following exercise will help ...
Views: 851 - Body Imagitis - by There is a terrible disease among us. It primarily affects women and, to a smaller degree, men. It is a killer of self-esteem, self respect and joy. It's called "Body Imagitis" and it strikes people from all walks of life.
Beautiful, heart-centered people stricken with this disease begin to ...
Views: 833 - Give Up to Get Love - by Many times when people want to attract their ideal partner, they often make a list of things to do -- action steps, if you will -- that will help them meet "the one." They add new activities into their routine, join dating services, write singles ads. They may start an exercise program or buy ...
Views: 703 - Don't Look for Your Soul Mate - by If you look for a soul mate, you are likely to find a relationship that leaves you bewildered and alone soon after it begins. Instead, look for a partner and a best friend to whom you are attracted.
I hear it over and over again; "We were so compatible...we fell in love at first sight...we ...
Views: 809 - Personal Freedom - by Many singles express concern about losing their personal freedom once they get into a relationship. They often cite this as one of the reasons they are still single. After all, no one likes to be told what to do or to ask permission to do something. This is true in most areas of our lives and ...
Views: 969 - Five Ways to Refresh Your Relationship - by A relationship is like a delicate rose bush. If you care for it, it will bloom year after year with unsurpassed beauty. If you don't, you might end up with a dull, lifeless entity that is struggling to survive.
Below are five ideas to keep your relationship in bloom for years to come.
If you ...
Views: 991 - Five Ways to Improve Any Relationship - by Want to improve your relationships, both romantic and otherwise? Want to grow in intimacy and closeness with your friends, family, co-workers, your special someone? Then include the following five easy steps into your interactions with those important to you.
1. Acknowledge the big and the ...
Views: 868 - Things I Have Learned About Relationships. Part II - by Here are some more lessons and concepts learned by me, my clients and friends in the process of attracting and creating great relationships. Which one resonates with you and if applied would immediately change your relationship for the better?
Sexual intimacy has very little to do with ...
Views: 801 - Compassion, Part 2 - by Having compassion toward others is a gift of connectedness you give yourself and a gift of presence you give others. While difficult to define, compassion is a way of being, and you will see the definition emerge among the three concepts presented here.
1. Compassion involves seeing others as ...
Views: 700 - Compassion, Part 1 - by "Before we can feel compassion for anyone else, we must learn to feel compassion for ourselves."
~Unknown
Webster's Dictionary defines compassion as the sympathetic consciousness of other's distress. But the first step toward having compassion for others is having compassion for yourself. It ...
Views: 674 - Journaling: Why, When and How - by Question for singles:
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What do you do with your occasional feelings of loneliness, frustration with dating, perhaps frustration with yourself and/or the opposite sex? Do these feelings and thoughts run around and around in your head, interfering with your ability to think ...
Views: 761 - Overreaction - by Has the following ever happened to you? You are discussing an issue with your partner when the discussion suddenly turns into a heated argument. Neither person knows what happened or how to make it better. A battle ensues and lots of feelings are hurt.
This is overreaction in progress.
If ...
Views: 2022 - Reader Q&A - by About every couple of months I answer readers' relationship questions. I try to answer questions in such a way as to both serve the person asking the question, while also sharing with all readers some relationship truth or principle I see as the underlying question. This month I am also adding a ...
Views: 641 - Ten Ways to Evolve, Part 2 - by Over the past decade, I've worked with thousands of individuals seeking ways to improve their ability to attract their ideal mate. As a result, I've created a list of ten most commonly prescribed personal development steps I recommend for those wanting to attract and create their ideal ...
Views: 715 - Ten Ways to Evolve, Part 1 - by Over the past decade, I've worked with thousands of individuals seeking ways to improve their ability to attract their ideal mate. As a result, I've created a list of ten most commonly prescribed personal development steps I recommend for those wanting to attract and create their ideal ...
Views: 681 - Mind-Reading Game - by For many people, dating and relationships are not about relating but about mind reading. Do you know what I mean?
When you are starting to date someone, isn't your mind busy analyzing your date's every action? Does he like me? What does she mean by that? Will he call again? Did I say the right ...
Views: 1023 - Support Others in Transitions - by Is someone you care about going through an ending or a difficult transition, feeling sad or grieving? Are you?
Everyone experiences changes in life. With most endings and transitions -- such as job changes, the ending of a relationship, or the death of a loved one -- grief and sadness are a ...
Views: 831 - You Deserve a Love Like This - by I once participated in a small workshop on public speaking. Each of us was presented with the goal of deeply connecting with all eight attendees. We were to speak from the heart on a specific topic, and the audience was to connect back with the speaker. And while the workshop was indeed ...
Views: 765 - Things I Have Learned About Relationships. Part I - by Here are some lessons and concepts learned by me, my clients and friends in the process of attracting and creating great relationships. If you get, truly get, any one of these and apply it, you will see an immediate improvement in the quality of your relationships.
It's your job to educate ...
Views: 716 - Ask Right and You May Receive - by How easily do you get what you want from others? And how easy is it for you to ask for what you want or need?
Perhaps you haven't worked up the courage to actually make the request you want to make. Or perhaps you've made several requests, but still find your needs unmet. If you're frustrated ...
Views: 782 - Changing Your PartnerRelationships are never perfect, and rarely do perfect partners come together. At some point in every relationship, partners want to change something about each other.
The following are three schools of thought on changing another's behavior and an alternative to each one. You will find the ...
Views: 603 - Drama vs. Passion - by According to Webster's Dictionary, drama is "a state, situation or series of events involving intense conflict or force." Passion, on the other hand, is defined as "a devotion to some activity, object or concept."
Do you live your life in drama or passion? Are you attracting partners who live ...
Views: 4581 - Relationship-Making - by Do you know how to establish a new relationship to guarantee that it will meet all of your and your partner's relationship needs?
Most people don't know how to do this. As a result, most relationships go through a predictable cycle:
=> Honeymoon: 1 week to 3 months
=> Struggle: Up to 3 ...
Views: 775 - Living Your Life Mission - by In last week's newsletter
(http://www.whatittakes.com/Archive/Newsletter30to39/newsletter__36.shtml), I asserted that defining and living your life mission can in fact make it easier to attract your ideal relationship. That's because simply living your life mission automatically attracts your ...
Views: 654 - Life Mission - by What is your purpose in life? What is your unique contribution to the world, one that is genuinely yours? What gets you out of bed and fired up on those days when life doesn't seem so wonderful? And what do these questions have to do with attracting and building your ideal relationship?
When ...
Views: 634 - Out with the Old - by Think back to a situation where you felt resentful. Or think back to the last time your heart was broken. The next time you encounter a similar situation, will you be free to choose how you act, or will you instead automatically attempt to protect yourself? If you are like most people, the ...
Views: 813 - Make 2002 Your Best Year Ever - by How will you make 2002 magical? Start by reviewing this passing year. Honor and celebrate all you have accomplished. Put behind you the things that did not work by looking for blessings in them. Reaffirm the flow of love between you and those important to you.
Below are some questions to help ...
Views: 870 - Clarifying Who You Are Seeking - by People usually get what they want in one of two ways. Some people have vivid clarity about their desired outcome and it seems to magically materialize. Surely you know someone like this, or perhaps you are even one of these people. To learn more about how to attract an ideal mate in this way, ...
Views: 862 - Communication Skills, II - by If your conversations tend to be one-way or marked by defensive reactions from those on the receiving end, it's time to review and improve your communication skills. Last week, we addressed the importance of creating a context when initiating a conversation, particularly a difficult ...
Views: 976 - Getting Complete with Past Relationship Partners - by The people who are unavailable or ambivalent toward forming a relationship will only attract others experiencing the same ambivalence. If you are having trouble attracting a great partner and forming a wonderful relationship, you may be unavailable or experiencing ambivalence yourself.
This ...
Views: 877 - Communication Skills - by Communicating is one of the most important things a couple can do together to keep their relationship strong and full of vitality. In fact, without communication there is no intimacy in a relationship. Intimacy -- or literally "in-to-me-see" -- cannot exist without both partners revealing ...
Views: 971 - Break-Up Survival Guide - by Losing a loved one is never easy. Even when the loss is your choice, it isn't easy. Whether a person experiences a break up of a relationship, a death of a loved one, or another powerful loss, there are predictable stages one goes through, predictable feelings one feels.
Swiss-born ...
Views: 1696 - Finding a Partner - by If you are like most singles who want a relationship, you are probably "beating the bushes" in search of a partner. You may tell your friends you are looking for people to date, place or answer singles ads, search the Internet, and attend social events in hopes of meeting someone. Many singles ...
Views: 817 - Taking Action - by "Right" action defined:
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Taking the right action is what feels right according to your own heart and intuition-not anyone else's standards. To distinguish the right action from a "should," use the following rule of thumb: a should may feel dull, certainly unexciting. The ...
Views: 784 - Reader Q&A - by I receive numerous emails each month from readers asking me for insight into their relationship issues. While I am unable to answer every question, I do occasionally devote my newsletter to answering some of these questions.
Q. Dear Rinatta,
I recently met my girlfriend for a date at a club ...
Views: 767 - Conflict Resolution - by Conflict by nature is difficult. And yet conflict is a normal, natural aspect of any relationship. In fact, conflict handled well is healthy and can improve, even add to a relationship, leaving both of you feeling heard and understood. It is only when people handle conflict poorly that the ...
Views: 708 - Strategies for Dating - by Many singles pursue relationship coaching to learn dating strategies and receive the guidance they need to be successful. Here, I will share my list of ten strategies for successful dating.
You may find these strategies old-fashioned or counterintuitive. But they work.
If you date in order ...
Views: 795 - Relationships and Growth - by Most people have a fantasy about relationships. It goes something like this:
One day they will meet their ideal partner. This person will understand them completely and will easily connect with them. There will be no arguments. Everything will be perfect. Magic will happen and will continue ...
Views: 865 - Need for Validation - by Def. Validation: To declare or make legally valid; to mark with an indication of official sanction; to establish the soundness of. Synonym is confirm.
~Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition `````````````````````
We all have a need for ...
Views: 18622(1 vote) - Rebound Effect - by I have observed a particular painful relationship dynamic. By addressing this dynamic, I hope to prevent it from happening in your current or future relationships. I call this dynamic "the rebound effect."
Let's observe this dynamic in action by looking at a love relationship in progress. ...
Views: 711 - Getting Complete with Your Parents to Attract a Great Relationship - by Not all you learned about relationships came from your parents - your learning has continued throughout your life. But, what you saw your parents do in relationships, how you interpreted what you saw and how you felt about it, is the foundation of your adult relationships.
That is not to say ...
Views: 814 - Relationship Truths - by This week I pondered the many lessons and concepts my clients and I have learned during my coaching career. Before long, I had compiled a useful list of important and valuable relationship truths. If you apply any one of these truths, you are certain to see an immediate improvement in the ...
Views: 744 - Advanced Boundary-Setting - by Last week you found out what boundaries are and how to set them. To review, visit www.whatittakes.com/Archive/Newsletter10to19/newsletter__13.shtml
Are you holding back from letting others know where you draw the line, from setting your personal boundaries? The following points may be just the ...
Views: 1069 - Setting Boundaries - by Are you getting all that you want out of your relationships? Or, are you instead getting less-than-great treatment from people in your life? If your life is filled with more of what you don't want and not enough of what you do want, it's time to set your boundaries.
What is a boundary and what ...
Views: 909 - Effect on Each Other - by Do you know what kind of an effect you have on other people? Are they better off knowing and interacting with you? Or do you leave people worse off and having to recover?
If you leave people better off than you found them, you know how good it feels to make this contribution to others. When ...
Views: 836 - Why We Don't Do What We Should - by When it comes to relationships, people often behave in ways vastly different from what they know they should do, what would be a good idea to do. Singles know they should like people who treat them well, yet they may not be attracted to such people. In relationships, people know to treat their ...
Views: 751 - The Right Tools for the Job - by Most people think once they meet the right partner they will automatically have a great relationship. They don't realize creating a great, long-term relationship requires the right tools for the job.
Let me give you an example. Peter has had many short-lived romances, or flings. He believes ...
Views: 629 - Pulling Yourself into a Great Relationship - by There are times in our lives when we feel our goals and desires pulling us forward. Other times we feel as though we are pushing to reach our goals.
To be pulled forward by a goal makes it more likely that you will achieve it. When you are pulled forward, serendipity happens, doors open, ...
Views: 762 - Getting Complete - by Getting and being complete is very important if you want a great relationship. If you are not complete -- with your past, your parents, your choices, etc. -- you will continue to have the same type of relationships, no matter how hard you try to make them different.
To be incomplete with your ...
Views: 726 - The Power of Unwavering Belief - by There are two ways you can work toward the goal of having your dream relationship. The first way is to want, hope for and try forcing it to happen. Unfortunately, that's not usually enough to bring you what you want. The other way is to deeply believe in your dream and to take action in line ...
Views: 1900