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Articles from Tina Tessina | Selfgrowth.com
- Dear Dr. Romance: What is being a therapist like? - by Submitted on Jul 13, 2015 from Tina TessinaQ & A with a Dr. Romance reader: Q: I would like your advice and input. I have been working in business for 12 years as a CPA and have recently been quite frustrated with it. Recently I did some career/interests/aptitude testing and found that the work I do now is pretty much what I ...
Views: 1121(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: What type of dating safety precautions should one take? - by Submitted on Apr 11, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: How can one be sure that a person they met through a dating service is not disturbed in any way? What type of safety precautions can one take? Dear Reader: Love has a much better chance to be realized if you make some of your choices mentally, as well as by emotional ...
Views: 1810(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: Which one should he choose? - by Submitted on Aug 24, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance : A man loves woman #1 but he was unhappy with the relationship for some reason. He was stressed financially. He was supporting his family. He has 2 children with woman #1 all he wants is the best for them and them to be happy and have a family. He has been going ...
Views: 1030(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: Why do I always find cowards? - by Submitted on Aug 09, 2016 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I like your article "Stupid Cupid" and find that all your down-to-earth questions should be applicable in a daily life of a relationship. I will forward it to my friends. I'm writing you about a guy that I met at my dance class. I ...
Views: 1320(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: Why Encourage Older Women to Date Younger Men? - by Submitted on Feb 28, 2016 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance : After reading: "Older Women, Younger Men Relationships" I feel compelled to write to you to express my disagreement. Age difference is more than an "adolescent worry", unless the older partner is still an adolescent. ...
Views: 1535(2 votes) - Detox Your Life - by Submitted on Jun 04, 2012 from Tina TessinaMany of my clients come in with complaints about personal habits that feel toxic in their lives. Just as you can detox your body when you’re feeling sluggish, it’s also possible to detox your emotional life. Here are some of the most common ways your life can back up on you, and how to handle ...
Views: 1777(2 votes) - Dr. Romance (with Alex Franzen) "Do. Not. React" - by Submitted on Jul 01, 2012 from Tina TessinaDO. NOT. REACT. Tips for surviving & mastering confrontation, with grace —in business & in love. Pop quiz, people: How do you drop an atom bomb of sudden, unexpected (and quite possibly, undesirable) information on someone you care about — without behaving like a cruel, ...
Views: 1906(2 votes) - Dr. Romance asks: Are you addicted to your smart phone? - by Submitted on Jul 28, 2015 from Tina TessinaRecently, clients have been coming in to Dr. Romance's office with questions about their cell phone use: either it is creating a problem in their relationship, or with getting work done, or even health problems. Here's how to tell if you have cell phone addiction; and what ...
Views: 1319(2 votes) - Dr. Romance Happiness Tip: Public Politeness - by Submitted on Jan 25, 2013 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: How do you feel when you walk into a public rest room and there are papers all over the floor, unflushed toilets, and wet toilet seats? How do you feel about drivers who tailgate, zip around the roads going over the speed limit, and hog the road? Most of us don’t ...
Views: 1741(2 votes) - Dr. Romance on Attitude Adjustment - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: I have blogged before about emotional hygiene, and doing the necessary maintenance on feelings as well as your physical body and household. Health reminders tell us to wash our hands frequently to prevent transmittal of diseases. Did you know you can “wash” your mood, too, ...
Views: 1465(2 votes) - Dr. Romance on Attitude Adjustment - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: I have blogged before about emotional hygiene, and doing the necessary maintenance on feelings as well as your physical body and household. Health reminders tell us to wash our hands frequently to prevent transmittal of diseases. Did you know you can “wash” your mood, too, ...
Views: 1465(2 votes) - Dr. Romance on How Not to be Shy at a Party - by Submitted on Jan 23, 2012 from Tina TessinaIntroverts can enjoy the parties, too, if they respect who they are and don’t let negative fantasies take over. Limit your social engagements to those that are manageable or meaningful to you, and allow plenty of time for being by yourself or with a single friend, if that's what makes you ...
Views: 1943(2 votes) - Dr. Romance on Less Talk, More Action - by Submitted on Mar 14, 2016 from Tina TessinaIf you read this Dr. Romance blog, you know that I am always talking about the importance of good communication, urging better communication, and giving skills for being better understood. Communication is one of the most important aspects of relationships; positive and negative. ...
Views: 1378(2 votes) - Dr. Romance on Living Outside the Box - by Submitted on Jun 09, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: I was speaking with a client today about his burn-out in his career. This is a man who’s been very successful, earned a lot of money, and worked hard for a big, national corporation. I told him he was burned-out, and on strike, because he had put himself in a ...
Views: 1312(2 votes) - Dr. Romance on Older Women Dating Younger Men - by Submitted on Feb 28, 2016 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance gets letters about older women dating younger men; which appears to be shocking to some people, but I don’t find it so unusual. Why would a younger man want to date an older woman? Who isn't attracted to success, smarts and experience? Young men ...
Views: 1554(2 votes) - Dr. Romance on Patterns of Change - by Submitted on Jul 02, 2016 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: I’ve been dealing with a lot of unwanted changes, and it’s not easy. Losses, disappointments, changes – we all struggle when life doesn’t go our way. Why is it so hard to handle change? Then there are the changes we want to make, fight hard to make – losing weight, ...
Views: 1150(2 votes) - Dr. Romance on The One Who Got Away - by Submitted on Jun 20, 2016 from Tina TessinaWhen Dr. Romance was a girl, growing up in the small township of Rockland, New York, there was a tiny post office, which was a small room with a separate entry in the house next door. Rockland’s official postmistress was Clara Weiss, who seemed very elderly even when I was a very small child. ...
Views: 1259(2 votes) - Dr. Romance On: The Tennis Match: How to Balance the Power in Your Relationship - by Submitted on Apr 05, 2016 from Tina TessinaCouples often come in to Dr. Romance's counseling office soon after they move in together, because they’re arguing about differences in design and life styles. Whose furniture to use, where to put it, who can use each room, or how to work out the division of labor. These squabbles are ...
Views: 1610(2 votes) - Dr. Romance on: Where is Love? - by Submitted on Oct 21, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Probably the most prevalent question I’m asked in my counseling practice is "Where is love?" Clients want to know why they can’t find a successful life partnership, why a friend or family member won’t respond as they would like, even why they don’t love themselves. ...
Views: 1113(2 votes) - Dr. Romance Video: Dr. Romance on How to Be a Loving Couple When You Have Kids - by Submitted on Jul 09, 2012 from Tina Tessina(To view video, click here.) Parenthood is an overwhelming job. Kids, especially babies, seem to need you there constantly. It's very easy for parents to get so into the role that they lose sight of the couple relationship they used to have. "Dr. Romance" shows ...
Views: 2645(2 votes) - Dr. Romance Video: Holidays with Family and In-laws - by Submitted on Nov 18, 2013 from Tina TessinaClick Here for Video Dr. Romance on Holidays with Family and In-laws Marriage means relating to in-laws and extended family. This is what "cleave to each other, forsaking all others" in the old marriage vows meant: Once married, you are now each other's primary ...
Views: 1841(1 vote) - Dr. Romance Video: On Having a New Baby When You Have Stepchildren - by Submitted on May 14, 2012 from Tina Tessina(To view the video, go here: http://youtu.be/OlC24alx1Gs.) You and your new spouse are over the moon about having a baby, but the children from your previous marriage are acting strange and upset or distant. What's wrong, and how do you fix it? Tina B. Tessina, PhD, "Dr. Romance" licensed ...
Views: 3095(2 votes) - Dr. Romance Video: Resolving Mother & Sister Fights - by Submitted on Mar 19, 2012 from Tina Tessina(To see the accompanying video, go here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVCxndtpt0s) Often, the same quirks, reactions and behaviors that create problems between you and the female members of your famiy wouldn't be a problem if they was someone else's family. If your best friend's mom or ...
Views: 1815(3 votes) - Dr. Romance Wishes You a Happy Thanksgiving - by Submitted on Nov 30, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance on giving thanks: A lot of people aren’t very good at looking at the positive. I hear a lot of negativity, blaming and complaining daily in my counseling office, and I find the more negative people are, the worse their lives work. Talking about how bad it all is seems ...
Views: 1210(2 votes) - Dr. Romance's Fair Fight Guidelines - by Submitted on Jan 14, 2016 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Almost forty years of marriage counseling and thirty-four years of a second marriage have convinced me that fights are not necessary in a marriage. Married couples need to have discussions, they need to solve problems, and sometimes they need to ...
Views: 1246(2 votes) - Dr. Romance: 3 Tips to Letting Go of Pain - by Submitted on Feb 16, 2016 from Tina TessinaIf your marriage ends in divorce, you lose more than the marriage itself. Even if your marriage had problems, or you were the one who wanted out, you still will have grief over the dreams and hopes which have died with the relationship. The overwhelming feeling of loss can be confusing and ...
Views: 1273(2 votes) - Dr. Romance: Does your relationship need a spring cleaning? - by Submitted on Mar 22, 2014 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance: tips on spring cleaning your marriage: Over an extended period of time, dust and detritus can accumulate in even the best marriage. Spring cleaning, to clear out the cobwebs and re-energize your connection, is a great idea. Just like a regular housework schedule, regular ...
Views: 1620(2 votes) - Dr. Romance: Don't Call Your Ex! - by Submitted on Jan 23, 2012 from Tina TessinaWant to know how to handle being dumped? It's less about communication than you think! DO put it in perspective If you're dumped, it hurts. But count your lucky stars. You don't have a relationship if the other person's not really interested. DO understand that there were problems already ...
Views: 2203(2 votes) - Dr. Romance: Married, Different Shifts - by Submitted on Nov 15, 2015 from Tina TessinaIn this tougher economy, couples are finding it necessary to take the jobs they can get, and that means more couples work different shifts. If one of you works a “graveyard shift” or rotating shift job that limits your time together; the difference in your shifts and commutes may mean you ...
Views: 1342(2 votes) - Dr. Romance: Tips for Divorced Dads - by Submitted on Dec 14, 2015 from Tina TessinaWhat can divorced dads do to help raise healthy, successful boys when they don't see their sons as often as they want? Here are some tips for non-custodial fathers who want to make certain they raise successful men. 1. Stay connected with your boy. Find a way to get over the differences ...
Views: 1256(2 votes) - Emotional Self-Control - by Submitted on Jul 07, 2015 from Tina TessinaOne of the most powerful ways I found to stop being a doormat in relationships was to learn emotional self-control. When you’re too reactive to your partner, he or she can easily draw you into a fight that stops you both from focusing on fixing the problem. Self-control is not easy. In ...
Views: 1509(2 votes) - Four Steps to Success - by Submitted on Feb 24, 2014 from Tina TessinaIn my private counseling practice, clients often tell me, “I want to be happy!” We then set about making it a reality. As a psychotherapist, I know that Your habits, your relationships, your environment, and especially what you think about them determine more about how happy you are ...
Views: 1468(2 votes) - Friends in Need: Interventions for Domestic Violence - by Submitted on Dec 29, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance received the following letter: “A topic I would like you to cover/explore is that curious phenomena which permits otherwise independent women to be dominated...even abused...by males with whom they share some sort or relationship. Why is it that a seemingly ...
Views: 1251(2 votes) - How To Avoid Loving a Jerk - by Submitted on May 29, 2015 from Tina TessinaAs I was swimming last week, a young couple came into the pool. Instead of doing laps or walking, like most of the gym members, they were just enjoying themselves. He started splashing her, and she said “Joey, stop it!” but she said it in a placating, whiney voice. He just kept ...
Views: 1492(2 votes) - Single Parent Dating - by Submitted on Jun 06, 2012 from Tina TessinaAs a single parent, you probably have so little free time that dating seems an impossible task. Yet, single parents are dating in unprecedented numbers, so if you’re looking for another “head of household” to date, you’ll find one. As a responsible parent, you’ll want to be very cautious ...
Views: 1731(2 votes) - Stop! The Don't Do Dating List - by Submitted on Jul 14, 2013 from Tina TessinaDating Again? Five Things You Must Not Do Dating someone new is not easy for anyone. Expectations can be high, and it’s very easy to make a wrong move. Knowing what not to do on your earliest dates can help you to avoid future problems. Here are Dr. Romance’s reminders of what not to do on a ...
Views: 1591(2 votes) - Ten Things People Don’t Know about Therapy - by Submitted on Feb 10, 2013 from Tina TessinaI recently had a first session with a client who said, about halfway into the hour “Wow. I like you. I’m surprised.” I laughed, but I knew what the client meant. As a psychotherapist in private practice, I encounter a lot of people who waited far too long to come in for counseling because they ...
Views: 1846(6 votes) - The Freedom of Maturity - by Submitted on Jun 09, 2014 from Tina TessinaAnd then, not expecting it, you become middle-aged…You achieve a wonderful freedom. It is a positive thing. —Doris Lessing Maturity or middle age means different things to different people, but for most, reaching a mature age means developing a new set of ...
Views: 1307(2 votes) - WHERE IS LOVE? - by Submitted on Feb 17, 2013 from Tina TessinaProbably the most prevalent question I’m asked in my counseling practice is “Where is love?” Clients want to know why they can’t find a successful life partnership, why a friend or family member won’t respond as they would like, even why they don’t love themselves. In a perfect world, love ...
Views: 1745(4 votes) - Without Ego - by Submitted on Mar 04, 2013 from Tina TessinaIn reading philosophical teachings and writings, I often wonder why the body and the ego are seen so negatively, as if they somehow are antithetical to spirituality. Although ego, body and mind are not all we are, each is part, an expression of the whole self, included in our precious gifts from ...
Views: 1456(5 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: How Can I Let Him Go? - by Submitted on Dec 30, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I read "Letting Go Takes Love" and it really spoke to me. I am in a situation and I was wondering if you could give me quick advice. I feel the need to let go of someone because he basically doesn't know what he wants. We have been going back and forth with the issue over a ...
Views: 1828(4 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: How Can I Stop a Stalker? - by Submitted on Jan 16, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: Are you familiar with men who won't leave women alone? I'm just trying to understand why someone would STALK me for well over a decade and, during that time, systematically destroy my life because I refused to be in an abusive relationship with him. He didn't seem to ...
Views: 1569(3 votes) - Weaving The Web - by Submitted on Feb 02, 2013 from Tina TessinaOprah Winfrey opened her school in South Africa in January, and was both praised and criticized. The criticism was that she was spending too much money on too few girls, because her school was lavish, free, and could only accommodate less than 200 girls. Aside from the fact that Oprah is ...
Views: 1476(3 votes) - What Is A Dysfunctional Relationship? - by Submitted on May 18, 2013 from Tina TessinaUnless you're completely out of touch with any media, written, audio or video, you have been bombarded with words like "dysfunctional relationship", "codependency" and "toxic family system". You may have noticed that there's a lot of information available about these relationships, but not too ...
Views: 1648(3 votes) - Dr. Romance's Friends: Counseling helps blogger's marriage - by Submitted on May 18, 2010 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance's fellow blogger, the delightful Melanie Waldman of Travels with two, writes: Back in the late ‘90s, my then-boyfriend and I were in our late 20s and had been living together for about four years. I’d just recently realized that we were in a negative pattern, and had begun to ...
Views: 1217(5 votes) - Dr. Romance's Friends: Counseling helps blogger's marriage - by Submitted on May 18, 2010 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance's fellow blogger, the delightful Melanie Waldman of Travels with two, writes: Back in the late ‘90s, my then-boyfriend and I were in our late 20s and had been living together for about four years. I’d just recently realized that we were in a negative pattern, and had begun to ...
Views: 1217(5 votes) - Dr. Romance's Friends: Counseling helps blogger's marriage - by Submitted on May 18, 2010 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance's fellow blogger, the delightful Melanie Waldman of Travels with two, writes: Back in the late ‘90s, my then-boyfriend and I were in our late 20s and had been living together for about four years. I’d just recently realized that we were in a negative pattern, and had begun to ...
Views: 1217(5 votes) - Dr. Romance's Friends: Counseling helps blogger's marriage - by Submitted on May 18, 2010 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance's fellow blogger, the delightful Melanie Waldman of Travels with two, writes: Back in the late ‘90s, my then-boyfriend and I were in our late 20s and had been living together for about four years. I’d just recently realized that we were in a negative pattern, and had begun to ...
Views: 1217(5 votes) - Dr. Romance's Friends: Counseling helps blogger's marriage - by Submitted on May 18, 2010 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance's fellow blogger, the delightful Melanie Waldman of Travels with two, writes: Back in the late ‘90s, my then-boyfriend and I were in our late 20s and had been living together for about four years. I’d just recently realized that we were in a negative pattern, and had begun to ...
Views: 1217(5 votes) - Attitude: From Negative to Gratitude - by Submitted on Apr 01, 2012 from Tina TessinaDespite the occasional temporary setback, my life is good, and I’m grateful. It wasn’t always that way, however. At 18, just after I left for college, I was essentially orphaned, and have had to go from no education or support to finding a purpose, supporting myself through a PhD, and developing ...
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