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Articles from Abigail Steidley | Selfgrowth.com
- A Call Out to All Perfectionists and Overachievers - by Submitted on Sep 01, 2010 from Abigail SteidleyI've been noticing a trend lately while working with women suffering from health issues. I coach women with pelvic pain issues of any variety, and I can't help but notice some commonalities. I am no longer surprised when I hear person after person describe herself as a perfectionist, an ...
Views: 2914(1 vote) - Body Language: Pain as a Messenger - by Submitted on Feb 13, 2011 from Abigail SteidleyI’ve written before about pain as a vital messenger, letting us know what needs to be addressed in our mind-body system. Symptoms and pain certainly wake us up to the need to take an internal peek at ourselves, mentally, emotionally, and also physically. I’ve written a lot about the mental and ...
Views: 1884(2 votes) - Feeling Bad? Have a Tantrum - by Submitted on Nov 07, 2011 from Abigail SteidleyIf you’ve been following my blog for a while, you know the drill. You know you have to feel emotions that arise on a daily basis, because avoiding and therefore storing them in your body creates tension and pain. Obviously, no one is going to be perfect at feeling emotions. However, I, like you, ...
Views: 1847 - The Emotional Impact of Vulvodynia - by Submitted on Sep 01, 2010 from Abigail SteidleyWhether you've just been diagnosed with vulvodynia or you've been dealing with it for a while (and even two days with vulvodynia can seem like a very LONG while), you are now a member of the club. It's that exclusive membership you never asked for, never dreamed you'd get, and though you never ...
Views: 1824 - Crazy Woman Syndrome - by Submitted on Sep 01, 2010 from Abigail SteidleyWhen I was 19, I started having very strange bladder problems. I noticed I always felt like I needed to urinate, and yet I never felt as though I could quite empty my bladder. I woke up several times a night to use the restroom. Sometimes I had to sit and wait on the toilet for what seemed ...
Views: 1802 - 3 Simple Steps to Calm Your Inner Perfectionist - by Submitted on Jun 13, 2011 from Abigail SteidleyJust about once or twice a day, my tendency toward perfectionism rears its head. It’s a trait I’ve had from birth, according to my mother. I’ve become well-acquainted both with its usefulness and how it often gets in my way. When I first read Dr. John Sarno’s book, The Mindbody Prescription, ...
Views: 1799(2 votes) - Self Discovery and Healing - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2011 from Abigail SteidleyMost of us start the self-discovery journey that is mind-body healing because we’re in pain. Maybe we’re struggling with vulvodynia, interstitial cystitis, irritable bowel syndrome, or pelvic floor dysfunction. Maybe we have chronic back pain. Maybe we’ve been dealing with depression or ...
Views: 1634(2 votes) - Pain: The Messenger - by Submitted on Sep 01, 2010 from Abigail SteidleyAfter years of struggling with physical pain and other uncomfortable sensations such as vulvar burning, rawness, and itching, I felt exhausted. I was so sick of pain I wanted to give up, somehow, or run away. I longed to jump out of my own skin and just escape. I was going crazy dealing with ...
Views: 1550 - Letting Fear Drive - by Submitted on Jun 23, 2010 from Abigail SteidleyMost of us are not hoping to wake up every morning and feel intense panic or desperate fear. If we could ask for anything, we’d probably ask for peace. Peace for others, peace for the entire planet, and peace within ourselves. Yet, when we face health problems and physical pain, peace seems ...
Views: 1528(1 vote) - Free Your Belly - by Submitted on Feb 13, 2011 from Abigail SteidleyOkay, ladies. It’s time to stop sucking in your stomach. Take a quick survey. Are you sucking it in right now? If so, here’s the big question: WHY? (Really, is anyone looking at your stomach in this very moment?) A few weeks ago, I realized I had inadvertently engaged in this ...
Views: 1436(1 vote) - Let the Journey Be the Goal - by Submitted on Dec 06, 2011 from Abigail SteidleyTo understand this blog post, you have to know that I have a thing for natural bodies of water. Whenever we were traveling during my childhood, I would veer off into rivers, lakes, ponds, or the ocean whenever possible. I love being in water, love feeling the river current, the ocean waves, the ...
Views: 1358 - The Love List – A Powerful Healing Tool - by Submitted on Mar 18, 2011 from Abigail SteidleyI’ve been giving myself a fun assignment lately, and it’s working so well I want to share it with all of you. It has had a profound effect on my state of energy, which is truly the source of all health – life force energy, chi, prana – whatever you want to call it. A few weeks ago I found ...
Views: 1300(1 vote) - My Soul Song - by Submitted on Nov 07, 2011 from Abigail SteidleyA year ago, I was sitting here at this same desk, planning last year’s Mind-Body Coach Training. I was imagining a great group of trainees, fixing up the forum where they would interact, and sending out the announcements in my newsletter. I thought I knew exactly what my plans were for the next ...
Views: 1272 - Is Your Body Saying Yes or No? - by Submitted on Dec 06, 2011 from Abigail SteidleySo much of the work I do with clients comes down to setting healthy boundaries. This was a major learning curve for me in my own life. Afraid of upsetting or angering others, I would make decisions based on external factors like someone’s approval or disapproval, or “rules” set by other ...
Views: 1259 - How to Do an Emotion Diagnosis - by Submitted on Sep 01, 2010 from Abigail SteidleyI am sharing my vulvodynia story, which is long and complicated, because it ties into every aspect of my life, including becoming a life coach and learning how to work with emotions and the thoughts that create them. I want to make it clear that I am writing my story in the hope that it will ...
Views: 1248 - Putting Mind-Body Healing to the Test - by Submitted on Feb 13, 2012 from Abigail SteidleyI think this blog post might be an ode to the mind-body healing process. I’ve been reflecting lately on how incredibly grateful I am to have learned what I’ve learned about my body, my emotions, and my inner wisdom. Ten years ago, I was in agony, suffering through each day, unable to live ...
Views: 1220 - Simple Success: More Fun, Less Rules - by Submitted on Sep 23, 2010 from Abigail SteidleyI just finished teaching a business class for a group of life coaches. It was a business class like no other. At one point I clearly said, “Stop using logic to figure out your marketing.” You would think that advice would make the class members run for the hills, terrified of me and my ...
Views: 1197(2 votes) - Let Yourself Off the Hook – 3 Steps to Instant Stress Relief - by Submitted on Jun 13, 2011 from Abigail SteidleySelf-pressure is my term for the mental expectations you have about yourself that differ from what you really need in this moment. It’s an instant stress-creator. Self-pressure can seem very subtle until you get used to noticing it. For example, I often decide I’m going to work out X number of ...
Views: 1196(1 vote) - What Do You Want Today? - by Submitted on Sep 23, 2011 from Abigail SteidleyPain is the ultimate waker-upper. There’s probably a real word for that, but I can’t think of it right now. Waker-upper works, because it’s actually pain’s job description. Whether it’s physical pain, emotional pain, or mental pain, it makes you sit up and take notice. Yeah, I know – what a ...
Views: 1161 - Still In-Between - by Submitted on Jan 17, 2012 from Abigail SteidleyToday something really strange happened. I sat down to write my blog post for the week, and I came up empty. Writing blog posts is one of my favorite things to do. I love writing, I love talking about the mind-body connection, and I love the unending conversation with you out there in ...
Views: 1157 - The Full-Tilt - by Submitted on Feb 13, 2012 from Abigail SteidleySeveral weeks ago, I wrote a blog post about the In-Between. I was feeling strange because everywhere I looked, my life seemed to be in transition. It felt like that moment between an inhale and exhale, when everything is suspended, and nothing is happening. It seemed to be lasting forever to my ...
Views: 1152 - Let Yourself Off the Hook – 3 Steps to Instant Stress Relief - by Submitted on Aug 29, 2011 from Abigail SteidleySelf-pressure is my term for the mental expectations you have about yourself that differ from what you really need in this moment. It’s an instant stress-creator. Self-pressure can seem very subtle until you get used to noticing it. For example, I often decide I’m going to work out X number of ...
Views: 1136 - Letting Go of Knowing - by Submitted on Nov 07, 2011 from Abigail SteidleyMy question was this: what are you surrendering to right now? I’m surrendering to not knowing what will happen if I give pregnancy and motherhood another shot, post miscarriage. Which led me to ponder this familiar question: Do I really know anything? There’s a doozy for my inner brainiac! ...
Views: 1129 - Message From My Inner Healer - by Submitted on Sep 27, 2010 from Abigail SteidleyAfter I had been to see a vulvovaginal specialist for my interesting mix of vulvar dysesthesia, vulvar vestibulitis, pelvic floor syndrome, and interstitial cystitis, I had a complete meltdown. I really thought this doctor would save me from the nightmare and give me my life back. I had ...
Views: 1117(1 vote) - Practice Being Kind to You - by Submitted on Feb 13, 2012 from Abigail SteidleyIt can definitely be a learning curve to practice self-kindness, so this week I’d like to talk about step two: actively creating self-kindness in your mind. Once you start recognizing when you are beating yourself up or judging yourself, you have opened the window to do something different ...
Views: 1116 - Strong is the New Skinny - by Submitted on Nov 07, 2011 from Abigail SteidleyThe other day I went to coffee with my personal trainer, and we were chatting about fitness, the urge women have to do endless, hideous (in my opinion, of course) hours of cardio exercise instead of strength training, and our cultural viewpoint around women with muscles and strength. She ...
Views: 1113(1 vote) - Saved by My Inner Healer - by Submitted on Sep 27, 2010 from Abigail SteidleyMy Inner Healer and I became very good friends after my first appointment with a breathing and relaxation instructor named Kathleen. Deep breathing is a fantastic way to start listening to your Inner Healer. Breathing is magical. It stops panic, it brings your awareness to your thoughts, it ...
Views: 1099(1 vote) - Authentically You…and Healthy - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2011 from Abigail SteidleyIn my own mind-body health maintenance plan, I have recently been focusing on being as completely authentic as possible. I’ve noticed over the years that the more tuned in to my body I am, the more it leads me to be completely honest with myself about myself. Before my years of vulvodynia, ...
Views: 1097(1 vote) - Taking a Body Break - by Submitted on Jan 17, 2012 from Abigail SteidleyAs you know from previous posts, I’m in the middle of doing a bunch of new stuff with my business and website. It’s all very exciting and good, but it is requiring a lot of creativity at the moment. My house is littered with post-its containing snippets of ideas. When I’m at the grocery store, ...
Views: 1092 - Finding Your Inner Healer - by Submitted on Sep 01, 2010 from Abigail SteidleyIn Martha Beck's book, Finding Your North Star, she discusses the concept of the essential self. Your essential self is the calm, peaceful, wise you who knows exactly what you need in every moment of your life. When you feel flashes of intuition, you are hearing the voice of your essential ...
Views: 1089 - What To Do About "What If's" - by Submitted on Sep 27, 2010 from Abigail SteidleyI recently coached a client through a hysterectomy, working on her fears about the surgery, her worries about anesthesia, and her concerns about her doctors. Health crises bring surges of emotion into our lives, and if we don’t know what to do with all these emotions, we run the risk of making ...
Views: 1088 - Stop the Hard Work - by Submitted on Feb 13, 2011 from Abigail SteidleyIt’s a new year, and many people have geared up to make life changes. Most of these changes require some kind of effort or hard work, and there’s a focused, determined feel to these life change plans. It’s just how we do things, for some reason. White-knuckled willpower, elbow grease, no ...
Views: 1080(1 vote) - My Body Image Journey: The Inside Story - by Submitted on Sep 23, 2011 from Abigail SteidleyI was reading fellow coach Jeannette Maw’s blog post about her belly spell this week (The belly spell really cracked me up! Soooo funny! I love Jeannette!) and it inspired this post. I have struggled for many years – my entire life, actually – with body image issues. I can remember clearly when ...
Views: 1072 - Stress Relief: There’s an app for that - by Submitted on Aug 29, 2011 from Abigail SteidleyI’ve been writing a lot about stress lately, because it’s a universal issue we all face. There are many underlying causes of stress, one of which is perfectionism, which I’ve addressed in the last couple of weeks. If you enjoyed the Three Simple Steps to Calm Your Inner Perfectionist post, you ...
Views: 1071 - Living the Mind-Body Lifestyle - by Submitted on Mar 18, 2011 from Abigail SteidleyWhen I’m talking to mind-body newbies, they often ask me if I like living the mind-body lifestyle. They are usually worried that they’ll have to torture themselves for life with something un-fun and limiting. Happily, the mind-body lifestyle is quite the opposite! Today’s article is an ...
Views: 1066 - Remembering What You Forgot - by Submitted on Jul 28, 2011 from Abigail SteidleyThis weekend, I was feeling a little disconnected, stressed, and tense. My shoulders were inching up around my ears and clearly holding some kind of emotion. I knew it was time to walk my talk, so I mind-body coached myself. This experience reminded me that I haven’t written much about what I ...
Views: 1062 - 3 Ways to Feel Better, Fast - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2011 from Abigail SteidleyThe primary reason we end up with chronic pelvic pain syndromes is surprisingly simple. Our bodies are designed to respond to danger and stress with the fight or flight response. Two very important things happen when we experience this physiological response consistently, day in and day out. ...
Views: 1057(1 vote) - Grateful for My Illness - by Submitted on Sep 01, 2010 from Abigail SteidleyWhen I was in the midst of my physical pain and emotional turmoil, I saw an television show where the guest was talking about feeling grateful for experiencing illness. I can't remember now what illness this person suffered from, or what the whole show was about, but I do remember how very ...
Views: 1056 - I Surrender - by Submitted on Sep 23, 2011 from Abigail SteidleyI just got off the phone with ten incredible, amazing people. I’ve been blessed that way, lately. Last week I got to coach and teach at the Martha Beck Master Coach Intensive in Huntington Beach, CA. I spent four days in the presence of brilliant coaches taking their final steps in the six-month ...
Views: 1056 - The Genius of Your Body-Emotion Connection - by Submitted on Sep 27, 2010 from Abigail SteidleyYour body wants you to stop panicking. When you push the panic button, you also push the adrenaline (and other stress hormones) button. Your sympathetic nervous system is activated, which is what surges your body into fight-or-flight mode. If you are continually feeling fear and panic, you are ...
Views: 1043(1 vote) - Scheduling Your Emotions - by Submitted on Jan 17, 2012 from Abigail SteidleyHere’s what I’ve learned in the last six months: Grief has no schedule. And, it’s highly disorganized. What a pain! Wouldn’t it be nice to block out ten minutes on the calendar for “Have a Good Cry/Beat on a Few Pillows” and have emotions fit perfectly into your day? Many of my clients ...
Views: 1040 - Feel Better About You - by Submitted on Aug 29, 2011 from Abigail SteidleyConfidence. Self-worth. Who doesn’t want those things? Yet, they can be oh so elusive. I’m in the middle of creating all kinds of new material to help others gain confidence, because I know what it feels like to not like myself, or to like myself and still not feel totally confident. So ...
Views: 1038 - Play Your Way to Health - by Submitted on Mar 18, 2011 from Abigail SteidleyMy favorite thing about mind-body healing is that it surprises everyone. All of my clients arrive at their sessions ready to work. They have their pens out, notebooks open, best school behavior at the ready, and are generally prepped to do it right – even perfectly. They are ready to put in ...
Views: 1038 - Befriending Resistance - by Submitted on Feb 13, 2011 from Abigail SteidleyHave you ever woken up to your to-do list and found yourself dragging your feet? Have you ever felt like your body was filled with lead and actually doing the items on your list was harder than pushing a boulder uphill? Have you ever forced yourself to do them all anyway, and ended up ...
Views: 1026(2 votes) - How to Stop the Panic Now - by Submitted on Sep 01, 2010 from Abigail SteidleyYour symptoms are flaring. You are in full panic mode, and you want out. Your chest is tight, your muscles tense, your breathing shallow. You would do anything to escape this feeling, and you're even realize the feeling is just as awful as the actual physical pain. You want relief. Here's ...
Views: 1023 - Follow the Flow - by Submitted on Sep 01, 2010 from Abigail SteidleyNow you know why investigating your emotions can help you heal, and you've done some work to find the main culprits. Negative emotions, besides hindering your healing, just aren't much fun. It's not exactly something you've dreamed of - feeling fear, panic, anger, or despair (to name a few of ...
Views: 1021 - Resting Equals Healing – Mind, Body and Spirit - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2011 from Abigail SteidleyRest is one of those topics that we frequently forget to consider, and yet it is possibly the most important thing we can do for our souls and our bodies alike. If you’re anything like me, you have often waited until your body crashed and your mind blew several fuses before you actually ...
Views: 1012(2 votes) - Tossing the New Year's Resolutions - by Submitted on Feb 13, 2012 from Abigail SteidleyWe’re coming to the close of another year and heading into that familiar tradition of taking stock and making New Year’s resolutions. I, for one, will not be partaking of this tradition. As you’ve noticed, I’ve been writing about self-kindness recently, and not applying force or pressure to ...
Views: 1012 - Know that You’re Awesome - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2011 from Abigail SteidleyOne of the delightful elements of coaching (and there are many) is getting to meet so many different women. Every week, I talk to women from different walks of life and different parts of the country and world. Though no two women are the same, there is one thing they seem to have in common: ...
Views: 1010(3 votes) - Learn to Be Kind to You - by Submitted on Feb 13, 2012 from Abigail SteidleyWhen I first realized I was putting immense and constant pressure on myself, and that the pressure was causing my body to revolt, it was like putting on glasses for the first time. I could see clearly how much I was beating myself up, trying to be perfect, judging myself, and otherwise rejecting ...
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