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Articles from Nicola Beer | Selfgrowth.com
- Feeling Guilty about ending your Marriage? Secret Tips to Let Go of Guilt - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2015 from Nicola BeerGuilt is a painful, uncomfortable and often lingering emotion that many individuals I work with suffer from. You will learn about John and Dana’s experience today, and at the end are my 3 secret tips to letting go of guilt. Take John’s case, after many years of endless agonizing and ...
Views: 8241 - Are you Spending Enough Time Together? Relationship Counseling Advice - by Submitted on Sep 20, 2016 from Nicola BeerTime can be a big source of conflict in relationships. When you get married “your time” also becomes “their time” and if you have children then you need to also schedule in “family time” and time for family chores. Many couples I speak to are feeling so busy and stressed by feeling pulled ...
Views: 3976(1 vote) - Sick & Tired of Doing Everything in Your Relationship? STOP! This is the Secret to Happiness… - by Submitted on Aug 29, 2017 from Nicola BeerDoes it feel like everything is up to you to make the relationship work? Does everything seem one-sided right now? Do you feel you are the only one taking care of the important stuff? If yes that’s totally natural Relationships are like a seesaw The more one person does something, ...
Views: 3513 - Grieving the End of the Marriage – 4 Steps to Begin Healing - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2015 from Nicola BeerDivorce is a word that we see and hear everywhere. In our daily lives divorce attorneys solicit their services in commercials, billboards, print media and flyers. Television shows and films trivialize divorce as it's cloaked in steamy affairs, romanticized depictions of fragmented families and ...
Views: 3302 - Husband or Wife Not Affectionate – How to Deal with a Lack of Affection in Your Relationship! - by Submitted on Apr 16, 2017 from Nicola BeerTips on How To Save An Affection-Starved Marriage and Keep Your Relationship Happy Affection can be one of the first things to go after children are born or when a marriage is in trouble. BUT it doesn’t have to mean something serious and it can be naturally restored as I will go on to ...
Views: 2619 - How to Restore Respect in a Relationship – Overcome Marriage Problems - by Submitted on Apr 29, 2017 from Nicola BeerLack of respect is one of the key reasons many couples get divorced. It is one of the major marriage problem signs. It destroys love, connection and intimacy. Many individuals and couples that join my online save my marriage program, share that respect has been missing or lost in their ...
Views: 2451 - 5 Steps to Overcome Divorce & Separation Anxiety - by Submitted on Jul 15, 2015 from Nicola BeerFear of an uncertain future can stop us from doing great things, and it can keep us holding onto things and habits that are hurting us. Today I will share 5 steps to deal with separation and divorce anxiety. I think it is fair to say, that the majority of us from time to time wonder what the ...
Views: 2437(1 vote) - Staying Connected - 12 Tips To Successful Long Distance Parenting - by Submitted on Apr 05, 2016 from Nicola BeerStaying Connected To Children When Living Apart - 12 Tips for Successful Long Distance Parenting Of all the challenges, change and stress divorce brings, long distance parenting is one of the most painful and difficult to face. And yet, it is a very real experience for countless numbers of ...
Views: 2328 - Infidelity - How to Help your spouse Heal from Your affair - by Submitted on Sep 16, 2016 from Nicola Beer* If you’ve had an affair, are regretful and desperate to save your marriage, don't let another mistake-ridden day go by without reading these tips. * If you are the betrayed spouse and your cheating partner is unintentionally hurting you in his/her attempts to make you feel better, put this ...
Views: 2135 - Broken Trust – 7 Keys to Rebuilding Trust In Your Marriage - by Submitted on Mar 05, 2017 from Nicola BeerTrust is an essential key in any relationship. I’ve helped couples rebuild trust after an affair, financial dishonesty, physical and emotional abuse as well as constant lying over small things. I’ve also worked with individuals to trust again after previous childhood trauma or relationship pain ...
Views: 1975 - How Not Forgiving Your Partner or Ex, Harms You! - by Submitted on Jul 15, 2015 from Nicola BeerAre you struggling to forgive your ex or current partner for something they did? Are you still carrying a grudge, feel resentment or anger towards them? In all romantic relationships (past and present) there will be times where the one you love will hurt you. It could be something small, ...
Views: 1870 - How long does it take to heal after an affair? The stages of healing after an affair – By Nicola Beer - by Submitted on Oct 02, 2017 from Nicola BeerHaving worked with 100’s of couples now looking to repair the relationship or heal themselves after an affair, most want to know how long does it take to heal and what are the stages of healing after an affair. Like when dealing with a significant loss, loss of a loved one, financial loss or ...
Views: 1861 - Porn Addiction, What To Do If It Is Affecting You and Your Relationship - by Submitted on Aug 20, 2017 from Nicola BeerThis is a topic no-one talks or writes about yet it is really common and the number is rising. Why? Well for one is has become accessible to almost everyone. If you think about it nearly everyone has a mobile phone and most people have a lap top or tablet on top. Statistics show our addiction to ...
Views: 1856 - Helping Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair - by Submitted on Apr 05, 2016 from Nicola BeerMost unfaithful partners underestimate the damage and fallout after infidelity. Many claim that they didn’t think of the consequences and often, when faced with losing what they have, panic. This panic can lead them to make further mistakes in their attempts to help their injured partner. If ...
Views: 1815(1 vote) - 7 Steps to Keep Your Hobbies and Marriage Intact - Save Your Marriage - by Submitted on Sep 14, 2016 from Nicola BeerIan and Kim were a couple who came for marriage counseling, as they were constantly fighting over Kim's love of fashion and the financial cost of her shopping sprees, her husband Ian couldn't keep up with it and thought that there were far more important things to be spending money on. Kim felt ...
Views: 1812 - Rebuilding After Affairs - by Submitted on Apr 05, 2016 from Nicola BeerSince working with individuals over the years to heal from infidelity and marriages with multiple wives, I have learnt what successful re-builders do compared to those unsuccessful in repairing their relationships after affairs. Whilst there is no denying that affairs can destroy love, ...
Views: 1738 - How to Heal From An Affair – Surviving Infidelity - by Submitted on Sep 18, 2017 from Nicola BeerNothing is more painful and crushing than finding out the partner you promised to have and hold forever has cheated and lied to you. It can ton feel like your whole world has come crashing down like a ton of bricks. Feelings of anger, fear and hurt can flood your system. Along with the ...
Views: 1714 - How To Restore Intimacy & Connection in a Struggling Relationship - by Submitted on Apr 16, 2017 from Nicola BeerWhy do couples struggle to stay intimate? This is a question that baffled me when I started working in this field. Many women would say to me “what do I do when the feelings in a marriage are gone?” or men I work with to save their marriage would share “when a marriage is over to one person can ...
Views: 1701 - Financial Abuse: Is Your Husband / Wife Financially Controlling? - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2017 from Nicola BeerFinancial Abuse – Relationship Advice for a Financially Controlling Husband / Wife: Financial conflict causes a great deal of unhappiness and tension in relationships. I received this email last week and they have given me permission to share it, here is the advice I gave Emily (name changed) ...
Views: 1696 - My Husband / Wife Won’t Go To Marriage Counselling… What Do I Do? - by Submitted on Feb 28, 2017 from Nicola Beer“Nicola, My husband won’t go to marriage counselling, I’m desperately unhappy what shall I do?” “My wife refuses to speak to anyone, she says we are beyond help, it’s too late. Shall I give up?” These are statements I hear time and time again, and to be honest I don’t blame a husband or ...
Views: 1678 - Being Blamed In Your Relationship? How To Stop The Blame Game - by Submitted on Nov 19, 2017 from Nicola BeerHow to effectively respond to blame and enhance your marriage. Blame in any relationship is challenging to deal with, even more so in marriage. Your natural instinct may be to blame back. All this does is create more tension. Husbands and wife’s that blame each other for their unhappiness, ...
Views: 1655 - How to Change the 5 Negative Thought Patterns that Lead to Divorce... and Transform Your Marriage - by Submitted on Sep 16, 2016 from Nicola BeerAfter the honeymoon period in a relationship is over, and our partner raises complaints about us, or does things we don't agree with or is somehow absent, we often start to make or draw slightly negative conclusions about them or the relationship. Typically it starts off as a thought one day, ...
Views: 1650 - Drop Neediness and Become More Attractive In Your Relationship - by Submitted on Jul 31, 2017 from Nicola BeerOvercome the top 5 signs of being too needy, give your partner space and increase your attractiveness! Neediness will kill the passion and attraction in your relationship. We all want to be cherished and desired in our relationship that makes us feel good but being needed and pampering to a ...
Views: 1645 - To Stay or Leave a Struggling Marriage? - by Submitted on Feb 19, 2017 from Nicola BeerToday we live in an age that promotes self-awareness BUT when it comes to relationships, it fails to show us how to use our self-awareness to arrive at good decisions. Most of the advice we get makes our problems even worse. There are literally millions of men and women ambivalent about ...
Views: 1644 - Couples Therapy - How to Deal with Your Spouses Annoying Habits - by Submitted on Sep 16, 2016 from Nicola BeerWhat are your spouse's most annoying habits? Is it the way they talk, eat, sit, clean up or snore when they sleep? Do they perhaps hum an annoying tune or crack their knuckles? And when was the last time they did something that irritated you? Last week? Yesterday? An hour ago? One of the most ...
Views: 1642 - Intimacy Differences – Low Desire V’s High Desire Partners in Relationships - by Submitted on Jul 10, 2017 from Nicola BeerDifferences are an inevitable fact in any relationship. One very common difference is the difference in sexual desire. Low sexual desire or “low libido” as it is often called is actually very common for many men and women. They estimate about 40% of women will experience this and 17% of men ...
Views: 1613 - Help! My Spouse is Driving Me Mad – 6 Steps to Deal with Annoying Habits - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2015 from Nicola BeerWhat’s are your spouse’s most annoying habits? Is it the way they talk, eat, sit, clean up? Do they perhaps hum an annoying tune or crack their knuckles? When was the last time they did something that irritated you? Last week? Yesterday? An hour ago? One of the most annoying things about ...
Views: 1612 - Is Guilt a Reason to Stay in a Relationship? Marriage Advice - by Submitted on Jan 22, 2017 from Nicola BeerLast week a lady I’m supporting in the in the US said: “Nicola, I want out of this marriage but I feel too guilty to leave.” Many men have shared the same with me. Staying in a relationship because of guilt alone can be a miserable way to live. If this is really all that is keeping a couple and ...
Views: 1591 - Is it okay to snoop on your partner’s phone? - by Submitted on Oct 16, 2017 from Nicola BeerSnooping comes up time and time again in my work with couples from all over the world online. Arguments over discoveries after snooping on phones are frequent. This has included 1. Facebook messages to ex’s, 2. Whats app messages sharing intimate details or marriage complaints to friends, ...
Views: 1587 - Feeling Lonely? 4 Steps to Leave Loneliness for Good - by Submitted on Feb 05, 2017 from Nicola BeerFeeling Lonely? 4 Steps to Leave Loneliness For Good Today I felt compelled to pour my heart out to you and talk about a subject that I care so deeply about and that’s loneliness. You don’t need to be single to be lonely. In fact, there are literally thousands of husbands and wives who feel ...
Views: 1578 - How long does it take to heal after an affair? The stages of healing after an affair – By Nicola Beer - by Submitted on Oct 02, 2017 from Nicola BeerHaving worked with 100’s of couples now looking to repair the relationship or heal themselves after an affair, most want to know how long does it take to heal and what are the stages of healing after an affair. Like when dealing with a significant loss, loss of a loved one, financial loss or ...
Views: 1576 - Do You Have A Shared Meaning For Your Marriage? Happy Marriages Do! - by Submitted on Apr 05, 2016 from Nicola Beer“Marriage isn’t just about raising kids, splitting chores, and making love. It can also have a spiritual dimension that has to do with creating an inner life together — a culture rich with rituals, and an appreciation for your roles and goals that link you..." according to Gottmans 40 years of ...
Views: 1567 - How to STOP the Same Arguments Resurfacing and Become Closer - by Submitted on Apr 02, 2017 from Nicola BeerAre you exhausted of the same topics, issues or arguments resurfacing time and time again in your relationship? Are you sick and tired of the emotional relationship rollercoaster you find yourself on? If you have tried speaking to your spouse (or even tried marriage counselling) and nothing ...
Views: 1563 - How to Stop Defensive Behavior & Save Your Marriage - by Submitted on Mar 12, 2017 from Nicola BeerWhen we feel that we have been wrongly accused of something a common reaction is to put up our defences so our partner will back down. But all this succeeds to achieve is to make our husband/wife feel that we are not taking them seriously. Where the real underlying issues in a marriage don’t ...
Views: 1560 - Divorced Parents - What Do You Do When Your Child Doesnt Want to See You or Your Ex? - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2015 from Nicola BeerLet’s face it co-parenting after divorce isn’t easy. Many children of divorce go through a roller-coaster of emotions like their parents do when the family splits. Children may isolate. Have angry outbursts. Refuse to eat. Cry. Say horrible things. Throw tantrums. But what do you do if they ...
Views: 1538 - If You Think an Ultimatum is Your Only Option… Think Again! Marriage Advice - by Submitted on Nov 03, 2016 from Nicola BeerAre you sick and tired of your spouse’s behaviour? Do you have no more to give? Are you at the end of your tether? Do you think an ultimatum is your only way out? We hear people giving ultimatums every day. “If you don’t stop doing X then Y will be the consequence.” However, more often than ...
Views: 1536(2 votes) - 9 Things To Do When You Feel Like Giving Up On Your Marriage: - by Submitted on Sep 27, 2017 from Nicola BeerWe all can probably remember a time in our lives where we have felt like giving up. Where we have felt exhausted, drained, alone and hopeless. I remember feeling so low at times that I could not see the point in trying or fighting anymore. Whether in the setup phases of my business many years ...
Views: 1526 - 3 Reasons & Ways To Stop Bickering In Your Relationship - by Submitted on Dec 04, 2017 from Nicola BeerMany couples bicker over all sorts of trivial things. Especially when they have become more disconnected, this is where ridiculous arguments, over pointless things can become big issues. For example I’ve heard couples bicker about the “right” way to pack the dishwasher, whether a colour is red ...
Views: 1519 - Marriage Counselling Tip - How to Avoid Angry Silence & Outbursts in Marriage - by Submitted on Sep 16, 2016 from Nicola BeerAnger is a normal, healthy emotion, it’s perfectly healthy to feel angry when you’ve been mistreated or wronged by someone you love, but when it becomes consistent or explosive anger or spirals out of control, it can have serious consequences for your marriage, your health, and your state of ...
Views: 1517 - 7 steps to help your husband/wife heal after an affair - by Submitted on Jun 28, 2017 from Nicola BeerIf you have had a marital affair, your husband/ wife has found out and you want to save the marriage, there are some key steps you will want to follow. How you react in the first few hours to 3 months matters as this is the “trauma stage” in the healing process. If you want to keep your ...
Views: 1501 - How to get over a cheating husband/wife and save the marriage - by Submitted on Jun 20, 2017 from Nicola BeerAnne (name changed) emailed me after she discovered her husband had been having an affair. She was deeply hurt and angry at his betrayal. But she didn’t want to leave him and break up the family. They have two beautiful girls who dote on them both, plus the fact that deep down she still loved ...
Views: 1498 - 4 Ways to Get and Stay Close to Your Partner - by Submitted on Mar 27, 2017 from Nicola BeerDo you feel like you are drifting along in your marriage? Do you lack excitement or fulfilment in your relationship? Do you sometimes wonder why you are still married? As mentioned last week there are four elements that help build and support a shared meaning, all of which should be ...
Views: 1491 - 7 Tips to Stop Work From Harming Your Marriage - by Submitted on Jan 04, 2017 from Nicola BeerIn the current market, long working work hours and high levels of stress seems to be the norm rather than the exception. It used to be entrepreneurs and executives running round fire fighting and answering emails 24/7, now most of my expat friends and clients are doing the same. There is no ...
Views: 1487 - 4 Keys to Staying Connected in Your Relationship – Part 1 - by Submitted on Mar 19, 2017 from Nicola Beer“Marriage isn’t just about raising kids, splitting chores and making love. It can also have a spiritual dimension that has to do with creating an inner life together — a culture rich with rituals, and an appreciation for your roles and goals that link you…” Gottman, 7 Principals of Making a ...
Views: 1473 - 7 Ways To Stop Work Stress From Ruining Your Marriage - Marriage Counseling Advice - by Submitted on Sep 16, 2016 from Nicola BeerThere is no doubt that work stress has become an increasing factor in marital dissatisfaction. Today couples work on average a thousand more hours each year than people did thirty years ago. This number tends to increase further in expat cities, as well as if you are an entrepreneur. All the ...
Views: 1473 - Did I Marry the Wrong Person? Marriage Problems & Marriage Advice - by Submitted on Nov 10, 2016 from Nicola BeerWhen people get to the stage of seeking help for the dissatisfaction or conflict in their marriage, they often wonder “Did I marry the wrong person?” or “Did I marry right or well?” These are common thoughts many share with me that they struggle with. So, how do you know if you have? Is there ...
Views: 1467(1 vote) - Get the Happiness & Love You Deserve In 2017! - by Submitted on Dec 12, 2016 from Nicola BeerStart today by taking these 3 steps… Save My Marriage Program – An Alternative to Marriage Counseling With the new year approaching, most of us start to think about what we want to change next year. Look for a new job, join a gym, eat healthier, take a new course, save money or sign up for ...
Views: 1451 - Are You Giving or Receiving Too Much in Your Relationship? - by Submitted on May 30, 2017 from Nicola BeerA Balancing Act – The Importance of Receiving Love and Giving Love It’s better to give than to receive is a phrase that is used far too often and often without any explanation. It is definitely good to give but it’s not necessarily better. What’s important is that we have a balance between ...
Views: 1445 - Do You LOVE or HATE New Year Resolutions? - by Submitted on Dec 30, 2016 from Nicola BeerI tend to find like marmite, garlic or someone packing your bags at the supermarket, people either love or hate the concept of making new year’s resolutions. Working with hundreds of people through relationship issues, there is often one in a couple one who loves to plan, organise and ...
Views: 1441 - 3 Steps To Handling Divorce Threats or “I’m Not “In Love” With You” - by Submitted on Oct 10, 2017 from Nicola BeerMost people are aware now of the 40-50% average divorce rate in the west and expat communities. Knowing this doesn’t make that any easier if you are living in an unhappy marriage where divorce threats have been made. The good news is an unhappy relationship doesn’t mean it’s over. That’s ...
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