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Articles from Peter Gerlach | Selfgrowth.com
- The Truth About Dishonesty - by Submitted on Jan 10, 2010 from Peter GerlachKids and adults omit or distort the truth to avoid expected pain. The pain may come from within or from other people. From this view, we liars are *scared,* not bad or immoral! We're still responsible for our behavior. Think of the last time you needed to lie to someone. What discomfort ...
Views: 4581 - Do You Have Permission To Grieve Well? - by Submitted on Jan 10, 2010 from Peter GerlachThough mourning the many losses (broken bonds) across our years is a natural (instinctive) reflex, it can be slowed or blocked. Incomplete or "complicated" grief can promote serious mental, emotional, physical, and relationship problems. Our feelgood, warp-speed society ("Don't Worry - Be ...
Views: 2672 - When Is Grieving "Done"? - by Submitted on Jan 10, 2010 from Peter GerlachSTARTING IN INFANCY, all wholistically-healthy people form emotional and perhaps spiritual attachments (bonds) to tangible and invisible things. Life on Earth decrees that these bonds will be broken by chance or choice, causing losses. We may start grieving before an foreseen occurs, or be ...
Views: 2002 - How To Benefit From Anger And Frustration - by Submitted on Jan 10, 2010 from Peter GerlachHave you been taught to believe the myth that some human emotions are "positive" and others "negative"? If someone asked you to name "negative" emotions, which ones come to mind? Terror? Disgust? Rage? Jealousy? Envy? Shame? Guilt? EVERY EMOTION IS USEFUL! Try the idea that every one of ...
Views: 4463 - Avoid *Be Spontaneous!* Paradoxes - by Submitted on Jan 10, 2010 from Peter GerlachCan you define a "paradox" to an average 12-year-old? Try saying your definition out loud, and compare it to this: "A *paradox* is something that inherently negates itself." Paradoxes exist because many things in the world have different levels of meaning, depending on the context. A simple ...
Views: 3735 - How To Pick Self-help Resources That WORK - by Submitted on Jan 10, 2010 from Peter GerlachEACH YEAR, hundreds of "revolutionary" self-help books, articles, groups, and programs appear on a wide range of human stressors. Publishers and producers keep churning them out because (1) the old ones don't work for long, and (2) the needy, hopeful public keeps the cash registers ringing. A ...
Views: 2364 - Four Keys To Effective Assertion - by Submitted on Jan 10, 2010 from Peter GerlachDO YOU HAVE an "assertion hero/ine" - i.e. someone you regard as exceptionally adept at asserting her or his needs, feelings, opinions, and boundaries? Would others name *you* as a world-class asserter? The American Management Association once defined "assertion" as communicating in a way ...
Views: 6023 - Seven Skills Your Parents Should Have Taught You - by Submitted on Jan 10, 2010 from Peter GerlachCan you name a learned skill you depend on more than "communicating" to manage your daily life? If you say "thinking," I propose that's "internal communication." If this is the interpersonal skill you rely on most to fill your daily needs, where did you learn to do it? Your parents and ...
Views: 3840 - How to Use "Awareness Bubbles" - by Submitted on Jan 10, 2010 from Peter GerlachIf an average nine year old child asked you "What is 'awareness'?" - what would you say? On a scale of one (I'm totally unaware) to ten (I'm extremely aware in all situations), how would you rate your degree of *awareness* in (a) calm and (b) stressful situations? Are you becoming more aware ...
Views: 2239 - Notice Your R(espect) Messages! - by Submitted on Jan 10, 2010 from Peter GerlachLiving things (like you) communicate instinctively and intentionally to reduce current discomforts ("needs"). The most poweful of six universal communication needs is to gain and keep *respect*. How would you define "respect" to an average 10-year old? As you know, there are two sources of ...
Views: 1977 - Who's *Really* Running Your Life? - by Submitted on Jan 10, 2010 from Peter GerlachFrom my clinical training, research, and experience as a family-systems therapist since 1979, I have come to believe that normal human personalities – like yours – are composed of a group of unique, talented “subselves” or “parts (discrete brain regions). This “inner family” of subselves acts ...
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