There is an enormous amount of violence against women. After such trauma, many of these women may feel there is no good within them. Therefore, healing from abuse may be necessary. Specifically, rape victims, sexual abuse survivors and/or domestic violence victims may require help to improve their self-esteem.

No matter how much your mind may try to convince you otherwise, you have goodness and light within you. However, your recognition of such may be obscured by destructive thought processes and emotions associated with an adverse event in your life—such as rape, sexual abuse or domestic violence.

Many times, we all may make the same mistake. We cannot see what is deep within and therefore we discount the value. We all have common decency within us. We are good. It just takes some trimming, molding, and polishing to bring it out.

An Example of Looking Beyond the Physical
Years ago, I had purchased a lot and hired someone to build a house on the lot for me. As it turns out, my lot was the only house in the development that came with a large tree. It was a hackberry tree that I had not even noticed when I called and asked the sales associate about the lot. That was because it looked more like a bush than a tree from my vantage point, as it had never been trimmed. None of the other houses had trees, as the developer, as is typical, had wiped all brush and trees from the landscape in order to make construction easier.

When I chose my floor plan and was in the initial building discussions, I asked the building construction foreman to keep the tree, provided it was not located too close to the house, as that may have caused foundation problems later. As it turned out, there was ample distance from the tree to the house. In fact, the tree was perfectly located, directly in the middle of my backyard.

One day after I purchased the lot, I drove my best friend over to see the future site of my home. As I was showing her the lot, I pointed out the tree. She said, “That’s an ugly hackberry tree. Cut that thing down!” However, I knew better. I told her that even though she thought the tree was an eyesore, she would change her mind after I had it trimmed. After all, it would provide shade, no other property had a tree, and most importantly, it was alive.

Shortly after moving into my newly constructed home, I did have the tree trimmed. After pulling off many of the bottom branches, the shape of the tree was fantastic! It is balanced in its branching, has a wonderful canopy of foliage, and is a refuge for wildlife. The birds sing and the squirrels frolic in that tree. I love it and, despite her initial protestations, so does my best friend. She could not believe the change in the tree! Had I not looked beyond what was there, I would not have been blessed with such a wonderful gift.

Similarly, many years earlier, I bought a buffet and china cabinet at a rummage sale. I paid three hundred dollars for both pieces. Both of them were very old and weathered. When my sister saw them, she said she would not have given twenty-five dollars for them. I told her to wait until I had refinished the pieces, because the wood was good. I was right. As soon as I refinished them, she could not believe the transformation. I still have both pieces of furniture and often get compliments on them.

Violence against women robs victims of their self-esteem, self-confidence and feeling of goodness. However, even if you are such a victim, once you recognize and begin the process of bringing the light that is ALWAYS within you forward, you can improve your self-worth significantly. Healing will begin.

Copyright Statement
This article was written by Cindy L. Herb and may be reproduced on any related website provided the text is not changed in any form and this copyright statement is displayed unedited in its entirety at the foot of the article and you use the exact same HTML code to ensure a clickable link back to the author's site. Further articles are also available. Contact the author for more information. Copyright 2011 Cindy L. Herb, All Rights Reserved Worldwide.

Author's Bio: 

Cindy L. Herb, author of Awakening the Spirit: The Open Wide Like a Floozy Chronicles, specializes in emotional healing, helping others overcome adversity and find joy. As The Joyful Survivor, Cindy offers others an alternative approach to healing from any trauma through a simple, proven process, allowing people to view life's tribulations as an opportunity for spiritual growth. To get FREE help, please visit the author's website at