Ways To Show Your Husband You Appreciate Him: Thanks To My Husband For Taking Care Of Me

Ways To Show Your Husband You Appreciate Him: Thanks To My Husband For Taking Care Of Me

Although us Canadians aren't celebrating Thanksgiving this week, I thought I would take this opportunity to piggy-back on the American holiday and jot down a quick post about gratitude. It's always a good time to talk about being grateful, right? Right.

One thing I notice in my life is that I find it every easy to appreciate the things in my life more often than the people. Without even thinking I can knock out a top ten list of things I'm grateful for (my home, living in a safe country, doing work that I love, beautiful weather etc); yet, how good are we at expressing our thanks to those who mean the most to us in our lives? More specifically, how consistent are we at verbally expressing appreciation to those who should be at the absolute top of our priority lists - our spouses.

Years ago I read a book my Richard Carlson and came across a quote that dramatically changed my approach to my relationship with my husband Dan. This is obviously not a direct quote but he posed the question to the reader "if a stranger worked all day, paid all your bills and put food on your table how much would you appreciate that stranger?" Also the reverse "if a stranger stayed home all day with your kids and took care of them, cooked all your meals and cleaned up, how indebted to that person would you be? Why do we give any less to our partner?"

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Without further ado, here are 31 free ways to express heart-felt appreciation to your spouse any day of the year. Try to use one of these phrases every day for a month and you'll be shocked to see how quickly your relationship grow to a whole new level. Once the month is over, start back at #1 and add a few of your own to keep it interesting. (To the men reading this, I admit that many of these are sappy but THEY WORK! Give 'em a try.)

1. I'm so grateful to have you in my life.

2. You are the most important thing in the world to me.

3. I love you.

4. I respect you.

5. I admire how you...

6. I'm so thankful that you...

7. You're my best friend.

8. You're so incredible at...

9. It always impressed me how you...

10. I don't know how you do...

11. There is no one else I'd rather be with.

12. If I had to do it all over, I would marry you again.

13. The thing I love most about you is...

14. You're beautiful.

15. You're such a superstar.

16. If I had to rate how great you are on a 1-10 scale, I would pick 12.

17. There is no one in the world better than you at...

18. I'm so proud of you.

19. I believe in you.

20. If you were in a catalog I would choose you.

21. All I want for Christmas is to spend the rest of my life right beside you.

22. God was smiling down on me when He put us together.

23. I love you more today than I did yesterday.

24. Every day, my respect for you increases.

25. I'm your biggest fan.

26. You look so good - you belong in a GQ magazine.

27. Thank you for all your help with...

28. You're even more attractive now than you were then.

29. Coming home to you is the best part of my day.

30. You are the best thing in my life.

31. What I can I do to show you how much I appreciate you today?

As leaders we are only as good as the quality of our home life. We all know the expression "happy wife, happy life" and the same applies for us ladies and our husbands. Don't let the person you love the most feel appreciated the least. Make it your mission to take some time every day to build up your partner and verbally express to them how much you love and respect them and how grateful you are that they're in your life. Fast. Free. Effective. Give it a try.

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Relationship advice hangs from every tree, but I consider these proven methods to keep a marriage successful and extremely good.

Never take each other for granted and remind your partner how thankful you are for them being in your life and loving you so much.

Have at least one night a week that you set aside for each other. Call it your date night where you could take turns at creating a special time for the both of you. This is great if you have kids because it allows special time for mum and dad only away from the stress and business of family life.

Stay playful and youthful even if you are in an older marriage. Remind yourselves how it was when you were dating. So in love and care free. Never get so serious that you forget how to laugh and have fun with your partner.

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Be very impulsive when the mood takes you. Getting married is not all about raising kids. It is about you and your partner enjoying each other and keeping the romance factor alive and kicking. You would think some married couple got hitched just so they could make babies. They seem to have lost the zing in their passion barometer. Never let the flame of love burn out in your marriage.

My relationship advice is to listen to each other carefully. Unless you are the type who bottles everything up most of us blurt out something that is on our mind. Marriage is a shared thing and each others problems should be just that. If you can talk about anything to each other you will have a great relationship and probably a very long marriage. So when your husband or wife says something make sure you are listening. Not being heard is half the reason partners enter into affairs. That classic saying, "My wife does not understand me" being their opening line.

If you think about it holding a relationship together requires an ability to keep it healthy happy and occasionally wild.

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Relationships can lose their vibrancy if they are not infused with new energy. Without specific attention to growing together couples start drifting apart.

What has to be kept in mind is that there are really three parts to a relationship. All three are vital and have to be nurtured. Often couples do not fully appreciate that. They tend to think more in terms of personal happiness and satisfaction and not also in terms of growing the relationship itself.

The three parts to a relationship are: I, YOU, and WE. We live at a time in society where men and women feel that it is their right to have happiness and equality in their marriage. This is a rather recent phenomenon because people used to marry for economic and family reasons. As a result or this shift the expectations of what one hopes to get from marriage are very high. We expect to be happy and content in our relationships.

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Now that marriage is by choice there is also the choice to leave it. As a result it becomes all the more necessary to put energy into growing together. It becomes imperative that each persons well being is nurtured. At the same time the relationship has to absorb these individual needs and be a satisfying relationship in its own right. The balancing act for growing emotionally supportive intimate relationships is as follows:

1. Each person takes responsibility for his/her own happiness
2. Each cares about the needs of the partner
3. Each does not let his/her individual desires jeopardize the well being of the relationship

When relationships lose their vibrancy it can be because there has not been enough attention given to the well being of the relationship. It may be a wake-up call to take a fresh look at the relationship and introduce new communication tools in order to keep growing together.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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K., a mother of two, had been in a relationship with her husband for 5 years; he had been unfaithful many times during the course of their relationship. Recently she discovered that he had a 1-month-old baby to another woman the result of one instance of his infidelital behavior. "We are still together but I am finding it difficult to deal with. I know he wants to see his son and he does so very often. I don't have a problem with him seeing his son. It's the lady I have a problem with. She had no respect for our marriage; neither did he come to think of it. I don't trust her and after all he's put me through I don't trust him to be alone with her either." K. started to explain.

Infidelity is one of the most hurtful things that can develop in an unhealthy relationship. Can a Marriage Counselor help a couple get through and overcome such an upsetting event? In most cases yes, but there are two 'but': first, the underlying causes and the unhealthy aspects of the relationship need to be addressed. Second, in the course of working through the Marriage Counseling process, the starting place usually is not with the marital relationship but the individual's personal relationship with themselves.

K. was starting to open up and I'm certain, not-realizing it, that subconsciously she was telling me exactly what her problem was even though she didn't fully realize it herself at the time. As K. continued the true underlying issue became more apparent. "Yesterday my husband came home with his hair done differently. When I questioned him about it, he told me his baby's mother did it!" She exclaimed in obvious exasperation. "I'm not sure how to deal with this at all. They are obviously still friends I can only assume because of the baby but how can I be sure that's all it is. I don't think that he should allow her to do his hair. I already have enough reminders of his infidelity."

K. finished off by expressing her concern for where his continued relationship with the baby's mother would lead. "I know the problem is the mistrust I have for him. I wonder if I'm being unreasonable about this; it's just a haircut."

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At this point K. stopped. I remember a childlike look of hope in her eyes as she sat there waiting for my response. It seemed she was trying to convince both herself and me that that's all it really was, 'just a haircut'. I knew as a Life Coach and Marriage Counselor that it was not just a 'hair-cut'. There is unfortunately no easy way of telling someone that.

Being sympathetic and trying to make her realize what she already knew deep inside I answered her as kindly as the circumstances allowed. "No, I do not think that the mistrust issue between you and your husband is the real trouble here. The major issue is the disrespect that you have towards yourself. You do not see yourself as strong, independent and well deserving of a true relationship." Having approached the subject as conservatively as possible I continued. "You sound very immature and very insecure; possibly both. It sounds like you have an 'Empowerment Issue', lacking the capacity to challenge traditional forces (your husband's marriage lifestyle) now that it has suppressed your personal belief system."

As both a Psychologist and Marriage Counselor my therapeutic recommendation therefore was that she absolutely needed to restructure the way choices are being made in her marriage life. "Be a model of a good leader and a responsible parent to your kids. Show them that they should not at any time accept to be treated as the second best." I told her.

The art and the science here is to accomplish this restructuring in a way that not only occurs without harming the marital equilibrium but also strengthens it. Many husbands do enjoy an empowered partner. My advice to K. therefore followed my theoretical approach; I knew she needed to empower herself very quickly, in order to be able to create a loving happy relationship for herself. I found no better way than to say loud and clear: "Just grow up!" I then advised her further in very concrete terms: "this meant that within 24 hours you either force your husband to start Marriage Counseling process with you or kick him out with no delay. Either you or her! Do not now worry about visitation procedure, since they could be worked out, once the counseling process starts!"

Now Listen Carefully-

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