Why Does My Husband Not Care About My Feelings: My Husband Doesn't Understand Me Emotionally
Marriage is not just about getting a mortgage and having children. It is about two people who have fallen in love with each other and have made a commitment for life. So how do they keep their relationship alive and passionate for such along time?
Keep the flame of love burning
1. Never forget you are part of a couple and nourish your relationship continually. Like most things a relationship needs to be maintained and constantly monitored. You are individuals but also part of a team that has come together because you believe the love you share can bring you a life of happiness. If you keep the flame of love burning, the passion inspired then intimacy will be a journey of discovery for you both.
The importance of intimacy in a marriage
2. Never let intimacy fade from your marriage. It is those private moments shared that will keep you wanting more. Try not to let work or kids get in the way as making love with your husband or wife restores closeness and eases the stress that this world we are living in can bring. If a couple are smart there is no reason they cannot stay this way for the rest of their lives. Keeping an air of mystery around the marriage will ensure its longevity and there are many creative ways two people can keep their love making as fresh as the first time. Even though pajamas are cute there is nothing more alluring than a woman in sexy lingerie beckoning her husband to the marital bed.
Turn offs
3. Do not get complacent with each other as this will lead to distance between the two of you and sex will be put on the back burner as you struggle to remember why you actually got married. You will become roommates instead of lovers and your passion for each other will be easily lost. Taking each other for granted is a total turn off and apart from breeding resentment will all but destroy any intimacy you may have. Before it reaches this point start talking and listening to each other
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Date nights
4. As children can make a big change in a couples life try not let it take over. Some women lose interest in sex when they are pregnant and carry on this way long after their children are born. This happens a lot as women put their children above their husband who is left feeling as if he does not count any more. It is a tall order but getting pregnant in a marriage is supposed to be a declaration of the love you share and the moment of conception was probably just that so keeping passion alive through the early child hood years could be a challenge. One night a week you could ask the grandparents to baby-sit so you can have a night just for the two of you. They call this a date night and it is in answer to the stresses and strains that married life can bring. It should to be a time of relaxation and revamping the spark of intimacy. A romantic dinner for two out or a stroll along the beach on a summers' night. Anything that takes you back to the time you were dating and could not get enough of each others' company. Make sure you set a mood for seduction and let nature take its course.
Tell them how you are feeling
5. Keep the lines of communication always open. If something is bothering you ask your partner to sit somewhere quiet with you and tell them what is happening. Bottling things up is guaranteed to lead to a quarrel or fight as the problem you have kept to yourself manifests itself in other ways. You may be blaming your wife for forgetting to pick up your dry cleaning when the real feelings you have are related to her sudden distance in the bedroom. Some couples may as well be talking in a foreign language to each other as they express anger or frustration without actually telling their wife or husband what the real issue is. You are not on your own anymore you are married and have someone lying next to you each night who wants to be there for you through thick and thin. Do not push them away because you find it hard to share your most intimate thoughts. That is why you got married because you found someone who loves you dearly and wants you to have a fulfilled life. Silence is not always golden.
Flirting for fun
6. Flirting with each other is very playful and is often a prelude to a night of passion. When you first met you would have been flirting like mad with each other but once married may see this as silly and immature. Flirting is harmless and makes a relationship lively as each partner enjoys the attention of the other. It is something you should never lose and it is guaranteed to put a smile on any lovers face.
Marital Bliss
7. Marriage is a serious business especially when you have children because providing for their needs and trying to raise them right can put a lot of pressure on a couple. That is why it is important to leave it all behind when you can. Once the kids are in bed find ways to make each other laugh and enjoy each others company. The greatest asset you have is each other and the strength of your marriage. Chase your wife around the table and act like you are 17 again as there is nothing like cutting lose of your burdens even if it is for a couple of hours to inspire love and sexual interaction. I have known couples in their fifties who have that twinkle in their eyes that says to the world we are still lovers and happy to be together.
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The power of love
8. Never underestimate the power of making love as it takes you to a place that often only soul mates can go. The euphoria of time spent together like this will keep your marriage well intact. It is also considered better than any glass of wine or massage for total relaxation. Keep these times impulsive and exciting without any pressure. Being too predictable about when you make love will make it a mission more than a pleasurable surprise.
Grand gestures of affection
9. Leave romantic messages on your partners phone or ring them and tease them about what is in store for them when they get home. These kinds of games are healthy and a lot of fun. If your wife likes flowers buy them at least once a week just to thank her for being your wife. Women love to be appreciated so nothing will get her in the mood more than a husband who shows how much he cares Ladies never stop admiring your man as feeling the Prince of his palace is very important to him. He will thank you by being loyal and attentive. Understanding what it is each other needs is half the battle won as small displays of affection by way of gifts or kind words can make each partner feel as if they are the most important person in their husband or wives life.
Keep talking and talking
10. Never stop telling each other how much you love and desire them. Verbalizing your feelings can be the best turn on ever as words are known to be a sexual stimulant. Talking to each other in an intimate way is a form of foreplay, which can keep things interesting for the rest of your days. Being told you are a gorgeous woman or a handsome man is bound to stoke the fires of love and passion so never be afraid to say how you feel. In fact compliment each other every day for how they look or something they do. Expressions of appreciation keep a marriage filled with contentment.
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A man can be a very interesting person. On the outside he appears to be so strong, masculine and in control of his situations Yet the closer you get to him the more you realize, this warrior is still a child.
I didn't say he was childish. A real man is not the same as a teenage boy. But when I say his is a child, it just means that men are rarely as strong as they would have the world to believe. This is not a knock against men (I am a man also) but things like "real men don't cry, real men don't show emotions", have hurt men from showing the vulnerable side we all have.
Let me offer a few hints as to things men want from that special woman in his life;
1) Men want to feel needed - If a man feels unneeded, then he will feel unnecessary. I applaud the many women who have demonstrated amazing strength in being single mothers, self-sufficient and able to provide for themselves. But if you try to have a relationship with a man and show him that he is only an added luxury (like leather seats in a car) then he probably won't hang around you for long. Men still like to feel like they are the man in the relationship.
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2) Men want to feel special - How do you make a man feel special/ By finding things that only he is good at with you. It will not hurt him to have him hear from you how every special you think he is to you. Comments like "honey, you are the best man I have ever met or you make me feel special whenever I am with you" can go a long way in putting a smile on his face. That should be every woman's objective.
3) Men want to belong - He needs to know he holds a special place in your heart unoccupied by any other man. Men hate being second fiddle or an afterthought. Instead they need to know that when you think of the opposite sex, you think of them.
4) Men need their egos stroked - This concept is hard for some women to grasp. But it's true nevertheless. Men function out of a healthy ego. He needs to know that he is the man. Not every man has a ripped physique, is famous, highly intelligent or makes a ton of money. But he still needs to know he is your hero in a knight's shining armor. He is the man of your dreams, the coffee you love to sweeten and the one who makes your toes curl when he walks into the room.
It may be hard to believe but if you love a man, you will work hard to give him what he needs.
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Emotionally healthy people keep evolving throughout their life. That is just how we people are made. When we respect our inner need to grow we stay vibrant and engaged with life. In a long-term relationship the issue is how to make sure that the relationship can incorporate the need for individual growth and, at the same time, the couple can grow together. By accepting that it is normal to evolve as an individual it is equally important to realize that if the couple is to stay happily together they have to incorporate these changes successfully into their relationship.
I can give a personal example. After thirty years of marriage I was yearning to make a geographic change. Staying in our neighborhood was no longer as important as before when we were concerned about having access to good schools. My husband was content to stay where we were. Yet as a couple we had to confront my need for change. It took several years to accomplish my goal, later our goal, to live in a waterfront
community which has opened up a whole new way of life and pleasure for both of us.
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Relationship skills for couples to keep in mind if they want to grow together:
1. Both people need to be OK
Although the need to grow may not happen for both of you at the same time it will affect the relationship.
By being respectful that the desire for some change is real you can be supportive to each other. Hopefully together you can come up with a plan that both of you can support.
2. Reassure each other that preserving your relationship is important to both of you.
When one person wants to make changes it affects the partner. Change can be unsettling because it takes one out of the familiar comfort zone. If there is trust that both have the big goal of preserving the relationship it becomes easier to weather the anxieties that change brings.
3. Individuals and relationships need to keep evolving
Relationships and individuals are not static. They need to change because circumstances or personal needs keep changing. Baby boomers, who want to keep their relationships vibrant, need to put time and effort into making the adjustments which will enhance each individual and the couple relationship.
Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.
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Many people nowadays find it easy to say they love a specific person, regardless if it is of the same sex or of the opposite sex, knowing the kind of free society we live in.
Once asked, they claim that they are truly in love because they know what love is. Actually, you would not know a specific matter enough by just knowing what is. Knowing what it is not makes you understand more about it.
Love Is Not Self-Centered.
It is not a selfish feeling. Only somebody with generosity in his or her heart is capable of giving away love. In true love, the needs and the welfare of others, specifically the person being loved, is being put before the necessities of the one who so generously loves. It does not occur to serve oneself, but it happens so you can be of service to others with wholehearted willingness as its foundation.
When you start to think about what is good for you and not what is good for your partner and your relationship, that is not love anymore. This does not mean to say that you must fully neglect your welfare and completely dote on the perfection of the life of your partner. What this means is simply, when you love, you forget about what you want or need, and you start prioritizing what your beloved partner wants or needs.
Love Is Not Fickle.
It is not love when it ends at a specific moment and then suddenly starts with someone else whom you have just met in the local grocery store. As the wise saying goes, "Love does not melt in the midst of temptation but stands steadfast".
No matter how much exposure of long-legged beauties, hot enough to pass for the next Playboy centerfold, you still do not give in to the temptation of actually making a move. Now that is love.
It is not love when, after a week of the dreaded break-up, you find someone you can date around with right away, regardless of who he is, what he does, or if he really does like you for who you are and not how high the pleasure and satisfaction you can provide for him that night.
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Love Is Not Demanding.
True love is tender and gentle. It does not impose a list of rules that has to be done twenty-fours a day, seven days a week. It seeks fairness between the couple, a nice and friendly guarantee that no one is to be at a losing point. When problems as a couple arise, greener pastures are not sought, rather, the problems are met face-to-face, head-on, and is then solved afterwards.
Once you start demanding too much from your partner, you must give yourself a "whoa!" signal, for you are most likely on the verge of falling out of love with your partner.
Love Is Not Destructive.
When you start to be destructive towards others or to yourself just because of that thing you claim love, you are largely mistaken. What you are feeling, if this is the case, is obsession and not love. Obsession is branched under selfishness; and remember, love is not selfish. So that is a double negative mark on being destructive.
Love does not judge or condemn, rather, it seeks to uplift the spirit of the other person whom you love so greatly. If you act judgmental towards your partner, predicting what or who he or she is without even knowing the whole story or the real deal of the situation, this means that you do not truly love your partner.
After all these known characteristics talking about what love is not, you would know have an idea regarding what love truly is.
Love is difficult to identify. You could get tingly in the middle at times and mistake it for love, when in fact, it is only physical attraction. You feel all blushy and lovey-dovey with that look on your face, all it needs is for your irises to actually take shapes of hearts, but actually, that is only infatuation.
Knowing what love is not will, for sure, truly help you in finally being able to identify whether what you feel is indeed love, or just some other carnal feeling.
This article serves as a reality check for all of you, either you are suspicious that your partner does not love you anymore but still goes on telling you the three words anyway, which, are now equivalent to lies, or you are questioning whether you still love your partner or not.
Now Listen Carefully-
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