What To Say To Your Husband After A Fight: How To Make Your Husband Happy After A Fight

We know that every marriage includes some conflict and that an ability to resolve conflict is necessary if one is to achieve a satisfying and lasting marriage. Some conflicts are not readily resolved and may go on for some time. An hour or even a day of negotiation, bargaining, threatening and pleading may not be enough. The circumstances of the dispute can be complicated and the emotional stakes can be high. Misunderstandings, strong feelings and avoidance can all contribute to prolonging a conflict.

An unresolved or incompletely resolved conflict can take over your life if you're not careful. Periods of hot, stressful interaction and cold, lonely resentment can expand to fill the time you have available to be together. Together time may already be squeezed by the many demands of living. This situation can quickly grow to be intolerable and lead to feelings of futility, depression and resignation.

It doesn't have to be that way. The world probably won't end if you don't resolve a conflict right now. It will help a lot if you can learn to put a fight on the back burner while you get on with the process of living and loving.

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Here's a way to look at it: Suppose your conflict is right out on the table and you're in the process of sorting it out. But the clock is ticking and at six you're expected for dinner at your boss's house. You can't take your fight over to the boss's house and you don't want to sit there in a cold freeze, ignoring each other on a festive occasion. You'd rather relax and have fun wouldn't you? And this aside from the embarrassment and of having your boss pick up on your struggle. Wouldn't it be preferable to put your argument aside in a conscious way? Just wrap it up and put it on the shelf for later. You can always agree to come back to it at a more convenient time. You could even do this just because it's time to go to bed and you have a busy day tomorrow. This will give you a lot of confidence in your relationship if you can gain this sort of control over your conflicts.

Many couples of long-standing say that they have survived together by never going to bed angry. I don't know if that's always possible but it certainly is helpful to know when to quit fighting and relax. Knowing that you can and will get back to it when you have the chance allows you to put it aside and enjoy life for a while. If you can do this before your feelings get too badly hurt, you can preserve more of the good feelings you hope to enjoy together.

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If you're putting a lot of effort into understanding men, then you might have overlooked this seemingly unimportant facet of being in a happy relationship: not having enough passion.

This is a universal problem that affects both men and women, but for the purposes of this article, I'll talk about something that turns me off about my partner.

People who are genuinely passionate about anything are magnetic. They don't care that you don't like them. They don't care that you don't like them. All they care about is whatever they're passionate about and that sort of attitude tends to polarize people.

What do I mean?

Well think about someone like Justin Bieber. He loves his music. He has girls who would travel around the world just to be in his concerts. He also has his haters and boy do they hate.

Passion breeds emotion and emotion is what keeps a relationship alive. Passion is like that spark that ignites a relationship and if you're ever luck enough to find someone who's is passionate about something as much as you are, don't let him go.

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Having passion in something that your man is into will give you confidence since you're being yourself. You also basically aren't trying at all to get a man; the man who is magnetized by your passion will come to you instead.

My girlfriend is passionate, just not in the things that I'm passionate in. That's OK but. It's better than wasting her life away, not having a cause to live for at all.

I once read a case where a woman couldn't find a man via "traditional" dating, you know, bars, clubs, etc. A friend advised her to follow her passion, so she joined a whale conservation group. She was so passionate about protecting whales that it was all she cared about. She found someone else who shared that passion and they've been together ever since.

By simply following your passion, everything else will come in tow, including the man of your dreams. If you've been getting better at understanding men, you'll know that we can't help but be attracted to a woman who is passionate about something in her life. That's because we tend to admire you first before you feel attracted to you.

That is a secret that you're never going to read in any relationship help book. No one is going to teach you how to be passionate. You've got to find your own passion and go out and chase it. This will make men chase you because they admire who you are. This admiration will create attraction in the long run.

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Intimacy is something that we all long for in our relationships. We may be in a relationship but if we do not feel an intimate connection we end up feeling very alone. Intimacy is the process of sharing our life with someone else that involves connecting on four different levels: physical, emotional, intellectual, and social. For relationships to grow all four have to be nurtured.

What I see in couple relationships where intimacy has waned is that one or more of these parts is no longer shared with the other. One of the meaningful ways of showing love is through physical touch. Yet that alone is not enough for building intimate relationships. There has to also be an emotional connection. That comes from sharing feelings and values in order to establish joint goals and showing support for each others well being. The intellectual connection comes from sharing ideas. The social connection comes from being each others friend and from the way they include family and friends into their relationship.

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When one or more of these four levels is out of balance it affects the intimacy level of the relationship. We have to keep in mind that intimacy is a skill. Our desire to love and be loved may be innate, but our ability to create closeness is a learned skill. Couples may start drifting apart because they are not paying sufficient attention to nurturing these four levels that encompass intimacy. People get busy with the stresses of daily living and forget to put energy into maintaining the vibrancy of their intimate relationship. Since closeness is a learned skill it is possible with infusion of time and energy to rekindle relationships. The focus will have to be to restore the physical, emotional, intellectual and social balance in the relationship.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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In most cases of marriage problems most professionals would strongly advise both partners to join a couple's face to face therapy process; why Online Counseling? Why without your spouse? Because there are always exceptions...

The particular case that stands at the background of this reflection is about a couple, 10 years together and married 6. They separated last month due to the husband's affection for another woman.

They had twins 10 weeks premature; the son only lived 7 hours. The daughter remained in "intensive care" for a month. During that time, so the wife admitted, she never really grieved the loss of her son: "I barely even cried. My time was spent making sure that our two older daughters were okay while I made daily trips to the hospital".

When the daughter came home the mother kept her in the parent's bedroom until she was a year old. "I was very over protective" the mother said. On the home front She was not talking or spending much time with her husband; she thought everything would be ok. But it wasn't.

The husband sought the affection and attention from another woman.

"I still love my husband and he says he will always have feelings for me" says the wife; but she just doesn't know that we will work.

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The consulting process began with THE question: "Do you see any hope?" she asked; the second issue was regarding the process: do they / she need a face to face process or can they / she get the help using Online Counseling?

A good reply should indicate that professionals must be flexible enough... the comfort zone of the office / clinic should not be the immediate solution; the loss of a child is indeed a terrible tragedy.

After such an unfortunate loss - the son's death - the "after shock" events that negatively affect a relationship are natural. In such life situations it is safe to assume that there are other disturbing factors already influencing the marital arena.

Unstable or traumatic emotional state needs comforting prior to any further re-building steps.

The professional assessment therefore was that the marital situations first called for an individual counseling before prior to any serious effort to dialogue with and between the spouses. Online Counseling (phone or web-cam) was the preferred method since it was easier to initiate and to keep with (and probably less expensive).

Now Listen Carefully-

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Author's Bio: 

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Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.

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