What You Don’t Want To Know About God!

From the Bible, we learn all kinds of things about God. What we don’t know about God, however, are things like; what does He do on Sunday afte
oons? Since we are created in His likeness, He must like the same things we do. Doesn’t that make sense? So, He must like football games! Go Packers!

But what if God was a She; then what would She do on Sundays? Hmm, this is a problem, because what God does on Sundays is very important. We know that She rested after six days of creating all this stuff, and therefore we have Sundays off (Thank God!) but what did She, or He do on their day off? And why does God need rest anyway?

That being the case (that God is similar to us), She might need more than just a little rest! For example, She might need a friend to watch football games with! Sure, we are all friends of God, so She has plenty of our kinds of friends, but God might need someone more on Her level; you know, someone a bit more challenging than us mere mortals. Maybe someone who speaks Her language.

I wonder what language God speaks? . . . God-ish? I mean, how did the prophets, who didn’t speak God-ish, understand Him? I suppose He can mystically translate His words in anyone’s mind, but still I wonder what His native tongue is. Silence maybe? Maybe not; He seems too busy to keep silent. Why He keeps so busy is another question, when He could just kick back and retire, (after making us all saints and coming down to say hello in person!)

Maybe God became bored one Sunday and created us for His own amusement! If that is the case, then I, God-like, should be amused as well! But I’m not. Sure, there are happy times on this earth, but they seem to be perfectly balanced with awful times, like a few minutes before I croak! It’s like a football game where we win sometimes, and lose sometimes. Someone’s always gotta lose!

Why can’t we be winners all the time? God is! She has no problems that I know of. Maybe if I was up there with Her, I would find out that God does have problems (it’s lonely at the top they say), but from my perspective down here, what could God possibly be worried about?

Well, actually, She does have a lot of children. Can you imagine a billion or so frustrated teenagers running around? And the adults are no picnic either. Come to think of it, God has a lot of problems, and probably found Herself at wits end one day and decided to send her number one Son down to straighten us all out! But I can’t say that things have changed much in two-thousand years, and I wonder if God has noticed as well? Maybe it’s time to send the number one Son down again!

And this is what you don’t want to know about God; that She plans to send Him back, but not until it’s safe, after we have pretty much blown up everything there is to blow up, and have run out of bombs. That’s when He is coming.

Or maybe She is coming this time! That would be novel! n n