Ron Scolastico, Ph.D. has worked with many people whose loved ones have died and who are sad because they do not sense the presence of their deceased loved one. Recently he was asked the following question. I hope you find the answer helpful.

QUESTION: “Often, people will vow that, after their death, they will contact and ‘never leave’ their loved one after they die. However, more often than not, the surviving person does not feel the presence of the deceased loved one. Why is this?”

ANSWER: It is because of perception within the human who is still living. If they could rise up to the perspective of the one who made that promise before death, they would see that the one who died has not left them. That one is still with them. But, the humans who are still alive are limited in their perceptions, therefore, they do not perceive the one who has died with their physical senses.

Since the one who has died no longer has a physical form that can be perceived by the living one, the living one understandably believes, “My loved one has gone. They have vanished. They are not present.” However, they are present, but in a different form that is not perceived through the physical senses-seeing a physical body, feeling a touch or hearing words spoken through a vocal mechanism of a physical body.

Another challenge is that the souls do not speak in words of any human language. So, when the deceased one is present to the living one and is communicating, that communication is not in words spoken aloud, or in words placed into the mind of the living one. That communication is done through quite extraordinary spiritual “energies” that you might call intuitive feelings.

If the living one could live through the disappointment of not perceiving the deceased one in the tangible way that they are used to, then they could practice silent periods of aligning with the soul of the deceased one. In time, they would be able to feel the presence of the soul of the deceased one as an inner movement of what you might call love, or a spiritual presence, or the sense of a loving being existing beside them. This would be extremely comforting and inspiring.

No matter what a living human would promise to do after their death, most living humans are not enlightened in a way that they will have a complete perception of what will occur to their consciousness after the death of their physical body. They do not realize that they will become an eternal soul, unlimited by time or distance, who will stand beside the living loved ones and communicate with them in essentially invisible ways. So, while alive, they make their promise with good intentions, with what they know in a limited awareness, saying, “I will manifest to you after my death and you will know that I am present.” Both living ones believe that that means a normal manifestation to the human senses that will be similar to what they are used to in the physical world.

To be truly accurate, an enlightened living person making such a promise to a loved one before their death would say, “After my death, I will be even closer to you and more real, in the deepest sense. But, you will need to break through the human limitations of perception in order to experience me in that deeper, truer way.”

Author's Bio: 

Dr. Scolastico is a distinguished Transpersonal Psychologist, author, Spiritual Counselor, and artist who has developed a unique ability to enter a deep state of consciousness and draw upon a vast source of wisdom that lies outside of ordinary awareness. This source of wisdom is often referred to as “The Guides.” From that state of greatly expanded consciousness, Dr. Scolastico speaks in depth on many aspects of life. He is the author of 7 books and hundreds of audio recordings. Visit his website at