Are we the blaming kind? Do we find some kind of satisfaction in putting the responsibility and therefore the blame “out there”? Do we tend to say, its Obama’s fault we’re in this mess? Or I just can’t get the work done in this heat, or as Flip Wilson used to say, “The devil made me do it.” Or as I remember back in the days when the fridge had ice trays, the son of a friend when challenged on why he didn’t refill the tray blamed it on Clancy the dog who used up the ice. I still laugh about this one.

We humans tend to place the blame any time we either don’t know how to take responsibility or we just don’t want to take responsibility.

As Dr. Albert Ellis so wisely said: “The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you are in control of your own destiny.” A Course in Miracles says there are no victims, only volunteers. So if I am not a victim then I must be responsible for the choices I make. Yes, I am responsible for the vote I cast, where I invested my 401-K, how much I spent on the patio furniture, where I go for dinner and what I say.

And I realize that if I don’t like something, I can try to change it and if I can’t change it, I can at least change my attitude about it. So when I worry about the 401-K, I tell myself God knows exactly how much money is in that account and He also knows I like to eat.

I’ll have to admit there is a certain amount of satisfaction in knowing that I have plenty of company in the ‘lack-of-retirement funds’ category. Yes misery does love company. I what I want to do is to remove the misery part and just say I love company and solitude and many other things…but NOT misery. Misery is a choice; a choice that is not the best choice. I can choose to live my life with the glass-half-full attitude, being grateful for what I have and who I am. I am safe, I am healthy, I am happy and I live a life of ease.

There are many people on this planet unable to make those statements: soldiers in Afghanistan, the starving children in Somalia, the homeless on the streets of any city. Who is responsible for them? Marianne Williamson made an interesting statement on Facebook recently. She said. “It is their karma that people are starving in this world and it’s our karma to feed them.” So here is dichotomy when it comes to responsibility - you have to do it by yourself and you can’t do it alone.

Author's Bio: 

Judy Irving is a speaker, author, executive/leadership coach and student of A Course in Miracles. She is the owner of Moving On Coaching & Consulting based in Las Vegas, Nevada and partners with her clients to expand possibility, lead with their strengths and tap into their greatness.