Why Can't I Get Along With My Husband: Not Getting Along In A Relationship

Although solving your marriage problems may seem like an impossible thing to do, there are some relatively simple things that you can do to get started. There are lots of sources for marriage problems advice: books, counselors, ministers, therapists, maybe even your parents.

Most of these sources will agree that "communication" is the key. Misunderstandings and a lack of communication are at the root of most marriage issues.

Many counselors believe that women and men speak different languages. Learning to communicate is sometimes difficult. There are actually couples' classes with one primary goal: learning how to better communicate with your spouse.

A fun and educational activity that many classes include is trying to communicate without speaking. Of course, it depends on who you ask for marriage problems advice, but many therapists understand that body language is a big problem.

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It isn't what is being said, but how it is being said and the hand motions or facial expressions that are included with the statement. By spending a few minutes communicating with your spouse, without speaking, you may begin to realize that you have misinterpreted some of those facial expressions or you might just have fun. Either way, it's a worthwhile activity.

There are some people that you should not turn to for marriage problems advice. They are your children, if you have any. While your children are well aware of what's going on in the house, talking to them about your spouse's shortcomings or a problem that you are having is not a good idea, regardless of their ages. It puts them in the middle of an awkward situation, between two people that they love.

Never forget the importance of physical touch. If you grew up in a home where hugs and kisses were not frequently handed out, this may be difficult for you. But, touch is a physical need. People were not meant to live in isolation. They were meant to interact and touch each other.

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If you want to stop your divorce but your spouse has suggested that you need to get one, this article can help you. Going through divorce can be a lot of heartache and stress. You will go through legal hassles, guilty feelings, and loneliness. If you are too overwhelmed it may be hard to do anything about it.

With this article, you will find 3 tips on how you can stop your divorce from happening and save yourself from all the pain and suffering you would endure.

1.Choose your battles. Don't fight over what your spouse says. Just learn to go with the flow. Many times married couples argue because they no longer care to see eye to eye, or just because they no longer know how to communicate with each other. If you just agree with your spouse when he mentions a divorce and don't try to make the conversation into a big ordeal, you may find that your spouse will stop pursuing the idea of a divorce. When you fight, it will just re-affirm his decision that he was right and you no longer can be married to each other happily.

2. Concentrate on yourself and find happiness where you can. If you pick up a hobby, start going to the gym, or even take a night class to pursue something that makes you happy, your spouse will start to re-think about all of the things he could be missing out on if you were divorced. This may change his mind and convince him to give things one more try. Don't try to bribe your spouse with presents though to try to make them happy. Just work on making yourself happy and the atmosphere in your home will become more positive resulting in a pleasant place to be.

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3. Take a look at what has worked in the past and try to build on that. Even slight changes can make the difference to cause one person to change their opinion of a certain matter. Humans are very complex in nature and often times it is the little things that will make a difference in the bigger picture. If you go with the flow and do not see any changes, you should then rethink your plans. It is possible that your spouse just likes to argue. From the words of the well known Grochu Marx "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. But after that, don't be a fool and try something new."

A divorce can be a painful ordeal that can have a huge impact on the rest of your life. If you have the desire to stop your divorce from happening you should avoid arguing with your spouse, stay as happy as you can, and pay close attention to the things that are working in your relationship and try to build on that. Hopefully, as time goes by, your spouse and you will find a way to work things out and have a happy life together once again. Millions of couples have found the way to save their marriage. You can too!

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In order for me to make a very important point I must ask you to pretend that you have absolutely no knowledge of chickens or eggs. Maybe you can pretend you're from another planet or something. Now, let's imagine I put a scrambled egg in front of you.

If you were to see a scrambled egg but had no previous knowledge of what an egg is, it would be impossible for you to unravel the mystery of the commonplace earthly food in front of you. A scrambled egg doesn't look anything like its origins; there's especially no way for you to have guessed it came in a shell and the egg came from a chicken. I don't care how much time and energy you put into solving the mystery and the origins of your scrambled egg and it makes no difference how smart you are; you just couldn't solve the mystery using only the information that is in front of you. But once someone knowledgeable explained all of the facts about eggs the mystery would be gone. With your newfound knowledge you would be able to create omelets, quiche, fried eggs and a gazillion other things with eggs. Even if you were not particularly creative you could learn from others who explored the world of eggs and compiled recipes galore. You too could become an expert if you wanted to.

Marriage is Universally Misunderstood

In our society, in our time, the origins and correct uses of marriage are almost completely lost. The proof of my statement is in the divorce statistics and backed up by what everyone knows; happy marriages are extremely rare. My statement is also backed up by the fact that marriage counseling exists at all. Just about everybody gets married so logic tells us it should be the most understood thing there is. Instead, you could get more contrary and contradictory advice about marriage from those who are married than anything else people participate in. Ice skating, driving, mountain climbing, bowling, gardening, you name it; everything else is understood well enough by its participants to create commonly held beliefs that rarely differ from one person to the next. Isn't this true? Why?

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Western Psychological Marriage Counseling Usually Leads to Mediation (or Lawyers) and Divorce

The problem with western psychological marriage counseling lies in its limitations and refusal to acknowledge the spiritual side of mankind. Man is spiritual, psychological and physical. But western psychological teachings try to encompass our spiritual aspect as being merely a part of our psychological. For this reason a duly trained Freudian psychologist looks in the wrong places for the source of marital problems. Going back to the scrambled egg analogy, they are looking at marriage without understanding its spiritual foundation and form; it is impossible for them to make heads or tails of what is going on in a troubled marriage and so they usually end up referring their desperate clients to a divorce mediator or family law practitioner; it is the best they can do.

If it Doesn't Look Simple You're Probably Missing the Point

God invented marriage for everyone, not just for a few chosen special people. He knows that some of us are smart and others are less intelligent; He knows some of us are intellectual while others are emotional; He knows some of us lie through our teeth while others are straight as a rail. He made marriage for everyone and He made the rules simple and easy to follow. If your marriage is not having success it is because you are not following the rules. If you're not following the rules, which are designed to bring great happiness and are therefore easy to follow, it means you don't know them. Read my Lessons For A Happy Marriage; that is the best advice I can give you. I have laid out everything you need to know in order to have a very successful and happy marriage; and I pray you do.

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People in a long term relationship often wonder about this. "Does a long term relationship kill romantic love?" And yes, it very often does. There are ways though that you can really prevent it from happening.

What is important here is that you have to keep that flame burning. Yes, I mean "you" have to do it. It has to be a conscious decision on your part. You have to realize that the flame is going to die if you do not constantly fuel it.

OK, so now you are asking me how you should do it. Well, it is important that you plan a specific strategy of how you are going to go about it. What are the steps you are going to take to keep the flame burning high?

1. Make time for each other:

So often it is all too easy to let the daily grind take up all your time. There is work, the kids, cooking and cleaning. By the end of the day you are finished and all you want to do is drop down on the bed and SLEEP!

Well, that will not do. You have to plan a specific schedule where you make time for each other on a regular basis. Set aside a certain time of the day where you can just sit down, have a drink or a cup of coffee and talk. You have to stay connected and be a part of each other's life.

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2. Take a night off:

This is part of the above, but it goes a little further. Make sure that you set some time apart for a "date" on a regular basis. Get a baby-sitter and go out. Make it a formal "date" with all the trappings, dinner and what more. Dress up and spend the evening as if you are going out for the very first time in your life. Do not speak about the kids or your jobs. Discuss the things that you both enjoy and that what attracted you to each other in the fist place.

3. Make and appointment to be intimate:

Yes. I know it sounds horrible, but if you do not do it, tiredness will prevent it from ever happening. It may be a good idea to combine it with the above, as it will follow more naturally. Unfortunately it is sometimes necessary to work at this. It feels all wrong, but you will see it bearing fruit in the long run.

Now I'm going to venture into muddy waters! Try and make your intimate moments very special. Do not simply get at it and that's it, if you know what I mean! Start working up to it from the morning already with little gestures and quick calls to tell each other that you love each other. I think you get my drift.

So, I think if you are wondering: "does a long term relationship kill romantic love?" the answer is unfortunately yes, if you allow it to. There are things you can do though to prevent it from happening. As in everything in life, a relationship is something you have to work at.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.


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