How To Rebuild A Broken Marriage: How To Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It - Things To Do To Strengthen Your Marriage

Let's start with a question.-- Is saving your marriage really what you want or are you merely concerned about loss of companionship and/or facing the world on your own?-- Many troubled marriages can be brought back from the brink using this simple 5 step process.

Step 1. A little self analysis is required here. If you decide that in fact saving your marriage is something that you really want and that any marital problems that you are facing can be resolved with or without third party help, then mark off step 1.

Step 2. How about your partner? Do they feel the same way about continuing in a relationship that has major issues. Obviously you will need to let your partner know how you feel, and then ascertain if they feel the same way. If they don't, and they are adamant about moving on, then that's an end to it. If the response from your partner is positive then that's great and you can give step 2 a large positive tick.

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Step 3. Both you and your partner should discuss the reasons for your mutual decision to commit to making your marriage work. Is it because of convenience or because of the children? Really, those are reasons that will not necessarily provide long term marriage stability. Your marriage should be worth saving because you both really want it for a multitude of reasons not least of all that you still love one another.

Step 4. If your marital problems are of a serious nature, such as infidelity on the part of one of you, then it needs to be determined whether this is a symptom of an underlying issue such as lack of spousal intimacy. This is an extremely common reason given by straying partners for their extramarital indiscretions. The lack of intimacy in this case is what counselors would term the core issue. It is important that you find the core reason for any difficulties that you are experiencing. The only way of doing this is for both partners to be completely open in any discussions concerning their strained marital relationship.

Step 5. Once the core problem areas have been identified you need to structure a plan of action. Your plan may include such matters as spending more quality time together, communicating more, spending more time with the children, more regular intimate contact with each other, sharing household duties more evenly and so on. The important point is that you must both really commit to your action plan and ensure that you regularly review it. We often suggest to clients that they program a specific time once a week and sit down over a coffee and review their progress.

Finally Saving a marriage after a period of difficulty can be extremely difficult and taxing. Progress is not always smooth--there will be ups and downs--there will be laughter and tears but commitment and perseverance will win the day.

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You've worked hard on your marriage. Too hard to see it just crumble! Now maybe you see your marriage falling apart. The signs are all there and it doesn't look good. But you can save your marriage even if you are headed for a divorce. It's not rocket science but it involves doing some things you might never have considered.

The good news is that there is about a 90% chance that your marriage can be saved! I know you may doubt this figure, but it has been proven over a period of 15 years by the doctor who developed an approach for saving marriages that has been featured on Dateline NBC. His dramatic approach has been used successfully by over 60,000 couples, often even when one partner wanted a divorce!

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

So many marriages end needlessly in divorce because of the lousy success rate of traditional marriage counseling. Would you believe that these traditional techniques only have about a 20% success rate? If you knew a medical procedure you were about to have had that type of success rate how would you feel about it? The reason is that most of these "marriage counselors" are actually not trained in marriage counseling at all. You can be a great therapist or counselor and know ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about what it takes to save a marriage and make it stronger! It's no wonder the divorce rate is so high!

Imagine instead if your counselor considered your marriage his client? Not you and your spouse, but the marriage itself! This is just the tip of the iceberg to his revolutionary approach that is guaranteed to work if you will simply do two things:

1. You must be 100% committed to doing what it takes to save your marriage.

2. You must be willing to take powerful action NOW!

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Trust is something that should be established between couples during the courting phase of their relationship.

Openness in all matters such as past relationships, ambitions, actions that have brought discredit in the past or that you are ashamed of (and of course those that you are proud of) should all be laid on the table. By doing this you are firmly establishing your honesty and integrity with your partner and laying the groundwork for a trusting relationship.

Some rules for a continuing trusting relationship:

1. Always treat your partner as your equal.

2. Never make disparaging remarks or resort to put downs in relation to your partner when in the company of others.

3. When you agree to carry out a task, make sure that you carry through with it. If you have a valid reason for not doing so discuss it with your partner first and come to a consensus over the matter.

4. Always involve your partner in decisions affecting you both - don't be secretive.

5. Involve your partner in financial matters. Countless marriages have fallen apart because of unwise financial decisions made by one of the partners without reference to the other.

What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.

Trust in marriage can be destroyed in numerous ways of course, from hiding serious addictions such as drug taking, alcoholism and gambling. Each of these has not only the potential to put an end to the trust in a marriage but also often leads to financial ruin and bankruptcy.

The most devastating and trust destroying matter - bar none!!

You have discovered that your partner has been having an affair - this is the ultimate betrayal of marital trust. Unfortunately extramarital affairs are only too common these days with up to 20% of both men and women indulging in short or long term sexual relationships with a person or persons other than their spouse. In our profession as relationship counselors, we find that the most common reason offered by the "guilty" party for straying, is that their emotional needs were not being met by their spouse. This is also invariably the reason given by those whose relationship with another person is not sexual in nature. These people are often driven by a desire to find someone who appreciates them, to act as a sounding board or provide the companionship that is lacking in their marriage.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

I often hear from people who are very disappointed with the way that their spouse is treating them while they are on a trial or marital separation. Often, they can't help but notice that their spouse is no longer acting like a married individual. Or, it becomes increasingly clear that the couple no longer appears to be happily married.

I heard from a wife who said: "my husband has been complaining about being unhappy in our marriage for the last four months. Because he kept harping on this with no end in sight, I finally gave in and agreed to a separation. He presented it to me as if it was going to be a temporary thing that would only give him some time to himself. He promised that we would still do things as a family because this is important to our boys. I took some comfort in that. But unfortunately, his promises have not the reality. We are still married, but he is not acting like my husband. We have always sat together when our children play sports. In fact, we have our special place on the top bleacher. If my husband arrives before me, he always saves me a seat. He always puts his hand on my back as we're walking out of the door. He has always opened the door for me. Well, now that we are separated he no longer does these things. The other day, my son had a basketball game and my husband not only didn't save me a seat, but when I sat beside him he excused himself for the concession stand. Not only did he not get me something like he normally would, but he came back and sat with one of our neighbors. Then when my son begged him to go out to dinner afterward, he did but he didn't open the door for me or touch me in any way. I'm shocked and very upset. When I talked about this to my friend, she said that I might be overreacting because I can't expect him to act exactly the same when we are separated. I don't understand this. He is still my husband so he should act like my husband, shouldn't he? Who is right?"

I guess the answer to this question would depend upon who was giving the answer. Sometimes, the spouse who wanted the separation feels that in order to have his "space," he should be excused from spouse like duties or from acting exactly like he has in the past. With that said, as a wife who has gone through this, I agree with the wife. I believe that when you are still married, you should treat your spouse a certain way, even if you are having problems and even if you are separated. I believe that there's a very clear distinction between a separation and a divorce and that the intention should be very different.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

With that said, in this particular scenario, it didn't matter what I thought. It mattered how the husband acted and how this affected the wife and the marriage. It was possible that he was acting as he was in order to keep some distance and to maintain his space. This is very common. Often, separated spouses want to maintain their distance but they will take it way too far. And the only way for them to know that they have hurt you by crossing the line is for you to bring their attention to this.

But, know that you have to be very careful to do this in the right way. You don't want to be so assertive that he feels defensive and distances himself from you even more. Because if this happens, it will be difficult for you to have the access that you're going to need to improve and then save your marriage.

How to Broach This Topic In A Way That Pulls Him Closer Instead Of Pushes Him Away: Always remember that your main goal is to maintain a good relationship so that you can eventually get him home. If you become angry and confrontational, you make this much less likely. So I believe it's important to try to handle this in a light hearted and playful way. The next time he chooses not to sit next to his family, the wife might say "hey, what are you doing over there in no man's land? Our son wants to look up and see his whole family together. Why don't both you and the neighbor come over here and sit with us?" If he declines, just let it go. You don't want to introduce more conflict.

Alternatively, you might say something like: "I couldn't help but notice that you were a little distant at the game. I know that this separation is sort of uncharted territory, but I hope that we can maintain our closeness as a family. When you don't sit next to us, that hurts. I don't expect for you to act as if you're madly in love with me because I know that we're trying to work through some issues right now. But when I feel you pulling away from us like this, I worry about our family. Above all else, I want to maintain a good relationship with you. Can we work together and talk about what we both need right now to be comfortable?"

Hopefully, this will open up a dialog where the husband will see that you aren't trying to demand certain behaviors from him. You're just asking for the courtesies that all husbands give to their wives, regardless of the fact that you're working on your marriage right now.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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