You Can’t Fake It Till You Make It!

You’ve heard that while you’re trying something new, you can “fake it ‘till you make it”. That may be true for a short while and in certain situations, but I’m here to tell you if you are living by that rule in your day-to-day life, then you are in for a rude awakening!

Eventually it will catch up with you and all hell will break loose.
And you will be looking at the pieces of your broken life wondering what on Earth happened.

This is the result of living a double life. When what is real for you in the deepest truth of your heart and what you are “faking” out in public are in direct contrast. Based on the response from the last issue of Core Connections on this exact topic, this phenomenon is not uncommon.

However, it is not often spoken about, leaving many women believing they are all alone and there is something fundamentally wrong with them, further pushing them deeper into this dark and lonely game of hide and seek.

Hiding from the paralyzing fear of being “found out” and forever seeking their true self.

When you live “in between” what’s real and what you pretend is real, you are missing the vital link to your Inner Wisdom, your Divine source of truth and love.

This link is your connection to Self.

Without a strong connection and awareness to your Self your true identity is concealed under a layer of self-doubt and uncertainty and you roam around aimlessly, with no focus, purpose or sense of who you are. This is when you are at risk of taking on other people’s expectations of you, making bad decisions, overstepping your personal values and settling for whatever life sends your way.

To recap from our last issue, your first three steps to reigniting your light from within are:

Step One: I know this sounds cliché, but the first step to finding your way back to your Self is acceptance. Acknowledge and accept that this is what is going on for you (if in fact it is) and allow your Self to see it for what it is: an opportunity for spiritual evolvement.

Step Two: Once you have accepted where you are, the next step is forgiveness. At a deep core level we all want to be true to ourselves. When we are incongruent in this way it feels like self-deception. Actually, it is self-deception, but it’s not malicious and it’s not intentional. With forgiveness, you free your Self from the grip of guilt that holds you hostage to your negative self-treatment.

Step Three: Journal. For this journaling exercise I encourage you to identify, with as much detail as you can, the different parts of you. Give them names. Perhaps the part of you that is “out there” in public putting on a show is, “Confident, Social You”, and the part of you who stays home hiding under the covers is “Scared, Anxious You”.

Get to know them. Ask questions like:

* “Where do you get the courage to be so confident, when I’m feeling so scared?”

* “What do you need from me to feel more safe and supported?”

Get curious!

Once you’ve got to know these parts of you better, grant your Self forgiveness. Check your awareness as you’re doing this exercise. How does it feel to forgive your Self? What feelings are being activated? When do you feel the shift and what’s present for you when you feel it?

Hopefully you didn’t just read through the first three steps and not take action. Remember, how you do anything is how you do everything! If you are not happy with the reality of your life today, you MUST take action NOW in order to create something NEW tomorrow.

If you did complete the steps congratulations! I bet you learned something valuable and new about your Self.

Step Four: Ask for help: Push the pause button and find a place to sit down by yourself. Take several deep breaths and focus your attention on your heart space. (You may want to place your hands over your heart) Really get present to that space.

What color is it?
What temperature?

Once you feel connected, ask of your heart whatever you need help with.
Some suggested questions:
What do I need now?
What do I want to feel more of in this moment?
What can I do to feel more of that?
What is my next step?

Step Five: Take inspired action. Step four creates a partnership with your Higher power. It’s important to take action on the information you receive. The Universe works with us to create the life we want, it doesn’t work for us.