You Never Have to Get Over Anything

Imagine this. You are depressed, grieving or have suffered an injustice. People are concerned about you. Friends are worried. A well-meaning person decides to dole out some tough love. You hear the words:

Get over it.

It has other aliases such as move on or let it go. It might be prefaced with, I know you’re hurting, but you have to

Get over it.

Has this happened to you? Have you said it to yourself?

No doubt this person is trying to help you. No doubt he cares about you and wants you to be happy.

But when the words are uttered, the result is not comforting.

Listen to the thoughts you have in that split second BEFORE you tell yourself you should be open-minded or you should stop being so sensitive.

Don’t bury that voice under a pile of shoulds. That is YOU talking.

I’ve spoken to people and asked them what they feel when they are told, or tell themselves, to get over it.

One friend said she feels like the person doesn’t care.

Another told me that she feels guilty that she bothered someone.

A guy friend said, he gets pissed, because it’s not like he’s sitting around trying not to get over it.

One friend insisted that it doesn’t matter how he felt. People should stop wallowing in their misery and getting “over it” is the right idea.

Despite varying opinions, no one has ever told me that they felt better after being told to get over it. No one has ever said that they stopped feeling whatever feeling they were having.

In short, no one got over it.

Imagine the same situation, but instead of being told to get over it, someone told you, you’ll get through it. Do you find the words comforting? Does it bother you less?

It is because this statement is truer than the other. You have your own truth meter. You know what is right, and you are telling yourself so.

You tell yourself important things like this every day. The feeling you have, before the shoulds take over, is your true self talking to you.

You’ll learn to interpret those messages in greater detail soon. But more immediately, that negative feeling is telling you something simple. That it is not true.

You never have to get over anything. Period. Just know that you will get through it.