People often associate self-worth to worldly attachments and achievements. During your life, you are always trying to get something, be it education, job, money, or other material pleasures. You feel these things represent your value. The stuff (or lack of stuff) is evidence of how successful or unsuccessful you have been in your life. When you were little you wrote in your “Rule book for life” that more and better stuff meant that you were “more better”.

Time for a New Rule: “I am not my stuff.”

You can have, enjoy and cherish stuff. Good stuff, cheap stuff, luxury items, trinkets, baubles, and bling. No problem there. Where you do run into difficulty is when you use the stuff to define who you are.

“I am a person to be valued. I am as good or better than you! Just look at my Rolex watch or my Prada bag!” This is an internal belief pattern that someone with low self-esteem, low self-worth would have.

A person with high self-worth has the Rolex watch a Prada bag because she likes the design, has a use for a watch and bag, can easily afford such luxury items. The items don’t define her. She knows, with certainty, that she is a worthy person with or without having high-end designer accessories.

Material achievements do not indicate your true self-worth. How you feel about yourself is how self-worth, or self-esteem, is valued. Unfortunately for many, shopping for stuff is what they think will get them from who they think they are to who they want to be. There is not a dress, luxury automobile, or piece of jewelry that can ever make you feel better about yourself at your deepest core. Oh, you may experience a brief ‘high’ when you purchase the item and the boost is momentary at best.

The Inner Wizard within you, the voice of your intuition and inspiration, knows your value. You are the most worthy, most important being in the world to your Inner Wizard. Everything it does is to help you get everything you really want in life, including luxury experiences.

The Inner Critic within you, the voice of your self-doubt and fear, doesn’t recognize your value. It thinks you have little value so it tells you that if you have things that other people think are valuable you will be thought of as valuable too. Your Inner Critic has good intentions, it is just woefully misguided. Nothing outside of you can make you feel better about your self. Self-worth comes from within.

Some people tell me that their Mommy or Daddy never said they were good at anything when they were children. “Woe is me. I never got any positive feedback when I was little. It’s their fault I have low self-esteem.” First of all, you were born with a healthy self-worth. You valued yourself as the most wonderful and most important thing in your world. As a baby, whenever you wanted something you never questioned whether you were worthy enough to have it. You freely asked for it. Demanded it sometimes.

Whether it’s true or not that your parents didn’t give you positive feedback to help you maintain high self-esteem is irrelevant. You can now be your own parent. You can give yourself great feedback. Learn to see and acknowledge all of the good, the value that you bring, to the world each and every day. Every time you smile at someone, you brighten that person’s day. Find things, little and big things, about which to pat yourself on the back as a habit.

The connection between stuff and self-worth is a connection only made by your Inner Critic. Disarm this voice within you and empower your Inner Wizard who has always known your tremendous value. Value yourself as you would have others value you. It begins with you.

I encourage you to eat positive feedback for breakfast! Give yourself a healthy dose each and every morning.

Author's Bio: 

Valery is a Mentor, Coach & Author who provides an all in one toolkit and training course that give you the necessary tools and information to get over the unique challenges that come from success, fame and fortune. Championing those who have or aspire fame and/or fortune to maximize their potential is her calling. She's fully prepared to engage clients with her experience, extensive training, certifications. For more information please visit

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