Loading the searchable article library…
Browse published articles attributed to Rhonda Rabow, with full-archive search.
How self-confidant are you? Most of us think we are pretty self-confidant, yet we often wonder why we aren’t getting more out of life. What stops us from taking risks? What keeps us stuck in dead end jobs, or unhappy relationships. Could we possibly be less confidant than we think? Why not take this quiz and find out? Ask yourselves these questions, and answer with a yes or a no.
3 Ways your self-esteem may be sabotaging your relationship When we think of relationships, we normally think of how our partner is treating us, whether we are happy and having our needs met. We tend to weigh the pros and cons of the relationship and then decide if it is working out or not. We may define our happiness by how much love we feel we are receiving. While this is an important factor in any relationship, we may forget to also consider how our self-esteem may also c
Around this time of year, people start preparing to think about their holidays. For many, it is a time of excitement and anticipation whether it is watching their children’s faces light up after they get their gifts, or it is a chance to visit with Aunt Mary or Grandpa Joe, who they haven’t seen in a while.
How many parents don’t care about their child’s ability to succeed and excel in life? Very few, I think. Isn’t it our goal as parents to bring up our child with the values, beliefs and self-esteem they need in order to enable them to meet life’s challenges successfully and with confidence? Yet how many parents worry that their child may not have the skills and tools necessary to accomplish these goals?
We, as women, are brought up to be nurturers, to take care of everyone else. We are so good at reminding our spouse or boyfriend, to call his mother on her birthday, get the perfect gift for his boss, and make sure he doesn’t forget about his doctor appointments. We tell our children to believe in themselves, speak up for themselves and hold their head high. My question is, who does that for us? As women, we are taught to give and give, to nurture, love, and protect.
We live in an age that wires us to worry. We get way too much information from the tv, radio, and especially the internet. There are no more secrets and almost everyone has 900 "friends" keeping them busy every minute of the day. There is never enough time to do the things we want to do. We often feel rushed, overwhelmed and frustrated that it is never good enough, fast enough or satisfying enough.
First of all, we need to define what is self-esteem. From my point of view and experience, I see self-esteem as a way of thinking, feeling, and acting that implies you accept, respect, trust and believe in yourself. To believe in yourself means that you feel you deserve to have the good things in life. It also means that you have confidence that you can fulfill your deepest personal needs, aspirations, and goals. Self-esteem comes from within where you see yourself as a worthy, secure person who feels capable and able to handle whatever challenges may arise.
The Art of Positive Thinking when you’re feeling negativer Rhonda Rabow, M.A. Experts say that being a positive-minded person can help make your life easier, healthier, and longer. People who are optimistic are generally believed to be stronger than pessimists, both in psychological and physical terms. They are also known to be better equipped to cope during periods of stress. The Mayo Clinic says people with a negative outlook are more inclined to suffer from depression, more susceptible to catching colds and more likely to die of cardiovascular disease.
Over the years, I have seen people coming in to see me with all kinds of issues and conce s. Not long ago, I saw a few clients coming in with a different kind of complaint. They were not so conce ed about themselves, but were worried about a dear friend or family member going through a critical illness. This particular woman stated that she wanted to be supportive for her friend, yet was conce ed about being too pushy or intrusive.she just wasn’t sure how to handle her involvement. First I told her how lucky her friend was to have such a kind and compassionate friend as she.
For many people, Valentine's Day, is the day when you feel sad, depressed, neglected or alone if you are single. However, with so many failed relationships, nasty break-ups, or unhappy unions, some singles are seeing this time as a time to embrace their solitude. A Landers once said, "It is better to be alone, than wishing you were." As a single person, why not use this time to focus on the benefits of being single rather than regretting what you think you are missing. Here
Self-esteem is a way of thinking, feeling, and acting that implies you accept, respect, trust and believe in yourself. Self-esteem means that you have confidence that you can fulfill your deepest personal needs, aspirations and goals. It comes from within where you see yourself as a worthy, secure person who feels capable and able to handle whatever challenges may arise. Your self-esteem is developed at a very early age and it was your parents and caregivers who were the primary influence for how you developed your self-esteem.
The challenge is how does one measure it? What is a reasonable expectation and what is asking too much? It doesn't mean that you never argue, are never upset or angry, always in love and always happy. If you expect perfection, you will always be disappointed. On the other hand, there are behaviors that can be forgiven and then there are those they are just not acceptable. How do you know which is which? That is what I am here to help you decide. A healthy relationship is one where: 1. You feel safe with your partner.
10 Free things you can do today to take care of yourself 1. Relax, take a nap 2. Make a list of the things you appreciate in your life right now. 3. Practice a meditation or say a prayer 4. Go out for a walk 5. Watch a comedy show 6. Pet your cat or dog 7. Talk to a supportive friend 8. Listen to music 9. Write a thank-you note to someone who has been there for you when you needed him/her 10. Read an inspiring book For more FREE STUFF, please visit my website at www.rhondarabow.com, push the FREE STUFF button and you will see an empowering video, an excerpt from
All of us from time to time feel anger and frustration at life and at situations that face us. While feeling angry can be a normal reaction when feeling annoyed, stressed or attacked; it is how we deal with this emotion that let’s us know if we are managing our anger well or if it is the anger that has control over usl. Take this quiz and see how you rate. Anger quiz Do you tend to overreact and get angry about little things? Do you become aggressive when you are angry? Does your anger provoke tension between you and your family members, friends, colleagues and/or co-workers?r
Why do 60% of remarriages fail? This, I am sure you will agree, is a staggering statistic and conce ing to everyone who has been married or living with someone for several years, and is now ready to commit to a new and, hopefully, lasting relationship. With the high degree of divorces, the percentage of people remarrying has also increased considerably. Unfortunately, so have the statistics of re-marriage failure. The survival statistics for blended families are pretty depressing. They say that 60% of remarriages end in divorce within the first five years.
1. Make it a realistic goal. Planning to lose 1 or 2 pounds a week might not be exciting, but it is more likely to be successful than planning to lose 30 lbs in 3 weeks; and then gaining it all back. 2. Make sure the goal is meaningful for you. Don’t say you will lose weight to please your husband or wife. You have to want to do it for yourself. 3. Focus on short term goals - Plan to exercise 3 times a week for a month, and then it will become a habit 4. Create a plan to s
Are you prone to stress? Have you ever noticed how some people seem to take life’s little upsets in stride while others stay constantly wound up?nn- Do you worry that there is never enough time to get everything done? - Do you hate to stand in line and always feel rushed? - Do you worry ...
Did you know that the average person thinks 60,000 - 80,000 thoughts per day? Did you know that over 80% of these thoughts are negative and over 85% of the thoughts you think today are the same thoughts you thought yesterday, last week and last year? How do you think these negative thoughts impact your life? Negative self-talk affects your self-esteem, self-confidence, and beliefs about success and relationships. Yet most of us aren't even aware that we are thinking these thoughts.
Everyone has distracted moments, we lose our keys, forget our list when we go shopping or are late for an appointment from time to time. These things happen to most of us and are considered quite normal, if annoying. However, when there is a disability involved such as ADD or ADHD, that’s when things become much more serious. The feelings attached to ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) or ADHD (Attention deficit hyperactive disorder) include confusion, frustration, and sadness when you can’t move from intention to action.
Who doesn't procrastinate from time to time? Most of us are guilty of putting off tasks like filing our taxes, cleaning the closets, calling the doctor for a check-up, or even sending out a monthly newsletter … like me ; ).
Why do we worry? Why is it so hard to stop? These are the questions I often hear from my clients. They tell me how it affects their lives on a daily basis, how it depletes their happiness and stops them from being all they could be because of their fears. They describe this worry as an endless loop of negative, fearful thoughts that they can't seem to shake or ignore for more than a short period of time. Even when there are joyful times, they say that they can't really enjoy it because they worry about it stopping.
What most people don't realize is that assertiveness has many layers to it. You can be assertive with your spouse, but passive at work. You can be assertive with your friends, but aggressive with your child and passive with your parents. Take this quiz and discover if there are areas in your life where you would be happier being more assertive. 1. I am comfortable asking others to do things for me, without feeling guilty or anxious. 2. I can easily express my opinions to authority figures, such as my boss.
What causes anger and how is it managed effectively? The following article addresses these two principles conce s, themselves instrumental in learning to control one's anger. To this end, this article is helpful for anyone who gets angry from time to time or has difficulty understand their partner’s or child’s anger issues. One of the first things you need to know is what causes anger:rn- stress - life events - frustration - fear - resentment - feeling hurt - feeling judged
There are many ways to help a loved one through illness Recently, I have had a few clients come to see me because they were worried about a friend or family member going through a critical illness. One woman said she wanted to be supportive, yet was conce ing about being too pushy or instructive. I told her how lucky her friend is to have such kind and compassionate support. Here is some advice if you are with a similar issue.
Hello everyone and welcome new members
When we think of relationships, we normally think of how our partner is treating us, whether we are happy and feel heard. We tend to weigh the pros and cons of the relationship and then consider how we feel about our partner. But what if your happiness in your relationship has as much to do with how you feel about yourself as it does with how your partner is treating you? Have you noticed that leaving one relationship and beginning a new one doesn't necessarily solve everything? At first you think this person is different and now you will be happy forevermore.
Now, that the new school year is here. I have been receiving calls from parents conce ed about their children’s reactions and resistance to returning to school. Many parents are conce ed that their child may be suffering from separation anxiety.
By this time in January, statistics tells us the most people have already broken their New Year’s Resolution. Is it because they are all weak and not motivated, or maybe those resolutions are just not realistic and people haven’t plugged in a strategy they can use that will enable them to handle the stressors that often sabotage their best intentions? Best-laid plans can easily fail when stressors present themselves. Has this ever happened to you?
Hi Everyone! I hope you are having a wonderful summer with all our warm weather. Here is a question for all those people out there (you know who you are) who tend to go over that line between being in love and being addicted to love. Feel free to pass on this quiz to any of your friends who could use a little self-awareness as well. What is the difference between being in a healthy love relationship vs. being addicted to love?
We all have had times in our lives when we felt our partner , parent, child or friend was selfish, unsympathetic and difficult. We may even have accused them of being a narcissist. Behaving badly, lacking empathy and being selfish, though not desirable traits, does not alone define you as a narcissist. A Narcissistic personality has a series of severe and long-standing characteristics that are very difficult to change or treat. One of the biggest challenges is that they just don't believe they have any problems.
Following the tragedy of Robin Williams’ death from suicide, I was struck to hear how many people were affected by his death. Clients, who I was seeing for depression, told me how they thought maybe suicide was a good idea and they seemed to be considering it more seriously since the comedian’s death. Because they seemed to be considering it so lightly, I thought it may be important to learn to what degree the survivors are affected by this tragic choice.
Are you at risk for burnout? Rhonda Rabow According to Stats Canada in 1998 a survey showed time stress levels have been rising dramatically beginning in the 1990s. 38% of working mothers are now classified as “severely time stressed”. Working mothers now put in 74 hours a week of paid and unpaid work.
Should I stay or should I leave? Maybe you are feeling frustrated or disappointed right now. Maybe you are just in a rut or your relationship just doesn’t feel the same. How do you know when there is no hope to fix it, or when it is just like any normal relationship, having some bumps along ...
The year has barely begun, but for some couples, it can be the time for endings. Here are two reasons relationships end more often in the first four weeks of the year: 1) The New Year is often a time of reflection, looking back at years gone by and evaluating if you are happy with the decisions you have made - and if not, what your choices are at this time.r
Many clients come to me telling me I am the last resort for saving their relationship. Talk about pressure! They say they feel angry and resentful. Some say they have given up hope or feel numb to their partner. They tell me that I am their last hope before contacting the lawyers. Sometimes, it is too late and the walls are up and can’t come down. Sometimes I can see a spark of caring still there, and the relationship can be saved and improved.
Are you one of the many who have made a New Year's Resolution? Have you been able to keep it so far? If you have then "Congratulations"; you are in the minority. Most people start out with the best of intentions. Some even write down their goals, and discuss it with their friends and partners. These are all great intentions and will get you started on the right track. But how do you stay on the right track and not get distracted, or worse fall off the cliff? Here are a few tools that may help you to keep those resolutions on track:
Over the past few months, I have been seeing many couples and individuals coming in with relationship issues. The single clients have been complaining how difficult it is to sustain a positive relationship and the couples come in telling me I am their last hope before divorce. How discouraging is that!? The problems are, of course, varied, complex and multi-layered; however upon further examination, there is a common history that most of them share.
Ideally holidays are meant to be happy, joyous and life-affirming times spent together. Filled with joy and gratitude, inspiring us to connect with family and friends near and far. Opportunities to catch up with what everyone is doing, their lives, their children's lives, their adventures and challenges.
High self-esteem occurs when a child feels that he belongs. He has a sense of feeling important, accepted and valued. When the child grows up feeling lovable and capable; he develops high self-esteem. He needs to feel proud of his accomplishments. He is able to assume responsibility and is accountable for his actions. He is able to tolerate frustration, have the courage to try new things, sees obstacles as challenges and has compassion and empathy for others.
1. Make it a realistic goal. Planning to lose 1 or 2 pounds a week might not be exciting, but it is more likely to be successful than planning to lose 30 lbs in 3 weeks; and then gaining it all back. You need to break things down into small steps that you can manage. 2. Make sure the goal is ...
While I am happy for many of my clients and friends who will get to celebrate this holiday season with their friends and loved ones, my heart goes out to those sad and frustrated people who may be dreading the holidays because they are feeling stuck, numb and confused in their unhappy relationships. It is for these people that I am writing this article.