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Setting goals and achieving goals is something that most of us want. The key is to differentiate between a goal and a mere wish. A wish is something that people dream about. A goal is accompanied with a plan and a time line. My definition of the word goal is: G.O.A.L – Getting Over All Limitations. So, here are my 7 steps to goal setting:r
It had been raining Friday night and I woke up early on Saturday morning, hoping for more rain so I could wash my car. You see, I live in Melbou e, Victoria, a State in south eastern Australia where we have severe restrictions on water usage, so, I only wash my car when it is raining. I had a bucket, sponge, 'car soap' and umbrella at the ready. It had been quite a while since we had any rain and my car was extremely dirty and looked very neglected!
In the years of coaching and mentoring people, I have noticed that some people want to achieve their goals, yet they do not want to walk on the path to achievement. Yes, there is a path to achievement, and there are no detours from this path! The real winners in life are the ones who embrace the path to achievement, and know too well that this path is leading them to exactly where they want to be. They fully realise that this path will be a rocky road at times, that this path has got speed humps, and that this path may seem closed temporarily.
Many experts in the field of personal development or motivation have told us to focus on the reasons why we should do whatever it takes to achieve a goal. A common statement that I have heard many a times over the years of studying personal development is “What is your ‘why’ for achieving a goal, or for living to the fullest, or for making positive changes in your life?” During my years as a Life Coach, a common question that I used to ask my clients who sometimes got side-tracked was “What is at stake here?”
Do you know what your mission in life is? Do you realise what your purpose in life is? Do you have a vision for your life? Some companies and organisations have a vision and mission statement. They do their best to get their staff to live by the vision or mission statement. Your life is unique, and unlike a business or an organisation, your life does not have staff who are told to live by the vision or mission statement. There is one leader in your life, one staff member in your life, and one decision maker – YOU!
An important life lesson that I learnt came from one of the golden rules in public speaking - focus on the connection, not the content. What this means is that the connection a speaker has with the audience is more important than the actual content of the speech.
What is personal power? Your personal power is based on your thoughts, your feelings, your experiences, and your knowledge. We all have personal power within us. The level of this personal power varies from individual to individual. The way that this personal power is used also varies from person to person. Right at this point, please pause and ask: “How much do I know about my personal power?” Please respond to that question in as much detail as you possibly can.
In his book Public Speaking For Success, Dale Carnegie gives accounts of many people of knowledge who did not publicly share what they knew, purely because they were gripped by the fear of public speaking. When I first stepped into the public speaking arena, I thought that confidence was all that I needed to become an impactful speaker. That was far from the truth.
You must have faced obstacles in your life time. I can safely say that every single human being on the face of this planet would have faced obstacles in their lives, and will face obstacles in the future. Sometimes we tend to exaggerate what an obstacle is, and we may get disempowered in the process. Firstly, let’s have a look at what an obstacle is. For some people, an obstacle is a blockage, a road block, a hurdle, or it is something which they put in the ‘too hard’ basket. For others, an obstacle is an opportunity, a challenge, or a rewarding experience.
One of my earlier mentors in personal development taught me that the word “responsible” carries the meaning of two words “response” and “able”. In other words, responsibility is your ability to respond. Then, I heard a quote from my single biggest influence on personal development, the legendary Bob Proctor, who said “No one wins the blame game”. So, I wish to share with you the difference between responsibility and blame. Blame is basically shifting the reason for something going wrong, to someone else. I remember reading somewhere that blame means “To be lame”.
When I was doing Life Coaching, every single client that I had, wanted one thing (in some form or another) – motivation! I believe that motivation is something that we all want. Yet, some people cannot seem to actually acquire it. Motivation can be a very commonly spoken about subject. And, some people do not understand how motivation actually works. The interesting thing is that some people seem to mistake motivation for inspiration. They think that both words have the same meaning, and they often use one word for the other. Let’s look at motivation and inspiration.
In May 2010, I was called upon to deliver a speech at a leadership convention. It was a cold autumn’s afte oon, as I drove to the venue of the convention while thinking about how to add more impact to my speech. Although I was asked to speak about goal setting, I decided (in the last minute) to incorporate the importance of self image into my speech. What some people do not realise is that there is a direct correlation between your self image and the goals that you set (that is if you are into the habit of goal setting).
Do you remember when you were a kid, and you were encouraged by someone to do something that you liked? What did the encouragement do for you? Chances are, you were given a boost of belief in yourself. The Power of Encouragement has an amazing effect on children and adults alike. We all like to be encouraged, and supported. If you look at the word ‘encouragement’, it contains the word ‘courage’. So, by being encouraged, you are given a boost of courage. Sometimes, courage is all that you may be seeking to accomplish a task, or to achieve a goal.r
Is there a formula to get something done? I believe that there are many ways in which you can get something done. It all depends on what works best for you (which you may have figured out by now, or will need to figure out at some stage). What I have used is this very simple approach, which I will share with you (while encouraging you to use these steps when you are looking at getting something done). These four steps sound very simple, and they are. The key is to actually do them. Let’s take a closer look at these four steps, and how they can work for you.
Have you ever felt like you needed motivation? Has anyone ever asked you to give them motivation? The word “motivation” is something that we hear much, yet sometimes we may not understand it enough or may not know how to make it work for us. While I have written two previous articles on motivation, this time I am writing to you about how you can apply (practically) motivation into your life. My point is this – it is one thing to be motivated to do something, it is another thing to take action and do that something!
You may have heard that a person’s attitude is very important when it comes to facing challenging situations, which life sometimes (or often) throws at us. A question that I propose to you is this; does your attitude define you, or do you define your attitude? Please have a think about that question before continuing to read the rest of this article. So, here are my 7 Steps to Creating & Maintaining a Positive Attitude
On my Personal Development radio segment, I revealed my 7 Steps to living with Purpose & Passion. So here they are: 1. Make a gratitude list daily – you must have something to be thankful for! Make a very comprehensive list of what you are grateful for, every single day. Then read this list while feeling the gratitude. There is little point in just reading or repeating it, without being emotionally engaged. As you read each item on the list, remind yourself of how much of a positive difference it has made in your life!
During my days as a Youth Mentor, there were many young people who needed support in either getting their life back on track or in achieving something they desired. Some of the youth were very challenging to deal with, let alone provide support to, in a professional capacity. The key was to engage with them using empathy and compassion so that they opened up. The Youth Mentor’s role was to guide them in taking productive action. There were two types of actions that they would take:
Have you ever felt or thought that you have got much more to offer to the world than what you currently do? Do you know what your potential and capabilities really are? Let me ask you another question, how well do you know yourself? While I consider myself a ‘full time student of life’, something that I spend a lot of time studying is me. Yes, you heard me right. I do invest time in studying myself. What do I mean by “studying myself?”
It is said that the number one skill required in being able to communicate effectively is the ability to listen. As you might already realise, listening is different to hearing. There is a lot of buzz about active listening – where your focus is entirely on the words that are coming out of the person you are listening to. Active listening makes the person talking feel like they are being heard. Now, that is a good thing by any account. If you wish to take it up a notch, then please practise empathic listening. What is empathic listening?
Recently I was asked by a Life Coach about what I taught my clients regarding purposeful behaviour. Now, some people will tell you that behaviour is driven by your values! My question is, what are your values driven by? Please think about that for a moment! I advised him that my belief is that Awareness leads to Attitude, Attitude leads to Habits, and Habits lead to Action (Behaviour). So, here is my 4 steps process to creating and maintaining positive behaviour!
An impression is simply a clue. A fact is something that you believe (through information). When was the last time you formed got an impression about someone or something that was not based on a fact? When was the last time you based something on what you thought was a fact, and it turned out to be the exact opposite? Impressions are formed. A fact is received information. Now, let’s break it down into a real life example:
Life will always throws challenges at us. That is a given. I believe that if there were no challenges in life (or ups and downs in life), life would become mundane. As Tony Robbins nicely put it, “Challenges are required for growth". If life was always smooth sailing, there would be no room for growth in any aspect of our existence. We would become stagnant and not move forward. One of the keys to overcome a challenge in life (according to my experience and research) is the ability to embrace acceptance.
On a particular Wednesday morning, I was waiting for a tram, after consulting with a client. A lady walked up to the tram stop, while pushing a walking aide. As soon as we looked at each other, we smiled. In a recent edition of my newsletter - Ideal Insights (www.impetussuccess.com.au), I spoke about the power of a smile, which is an exchange of positive energy. I started a conversation with her, and then we boarded the tram. I sat next to her, and we spent the next 20 minutes, having a friendly chat.
When I was the lead trainer of an organisation called Speak To Influence, we traveled the country, delivering staff training to medium/large companies. We taught the attendees of our training sessions how to be influential while communicating (be it one-to-one communication or one-to-many). While there are many experts on communication out there (and they all specialise in their unique messages), there is one common denominator when it comes to creating influence. Many sales trainers will talk about this common denominator, and suggest that it be used in the sales process.
I came to realise the numerous benefits of exercise at a very early age. So, I have made a commitment to myself that I will run every morning, from Monday to Friday. There is a football oval near my house where I go to, for a run in the mornings.
I regularly train at a local boxing gym in a northern suburb of Melbou e and recently I was fortunate enough to meet an amazing man, Adrian Charter. Now, Adrian comes to the boxing gym to train, just like me. The difference is, I am 31 years old, and Adrian is 72! I watched Adrian as he was training, early on a Sunday morning, and he was hitting the punching bag harder and quicker than most men in their twenties would! Later on that morning, I had a chat to Adrian because I was very intrigued about his level of discipline.
Have you ever felt like you needed to get something done, and you didn’t have the internal resources to get it done? We all have had that feeling at some point of our lives. Perhaps it was a combination of internal resources and exte al support that you needed. Either way, the task at hand would be done much easier if you had whatever you required to get it done. My goal is to give you some very simple, yet effective tools to gain and sustain more empowerment and energy in your life.
In February, 2014, I started training at an MMA (mixed martial arts) gym. At the front door of that gym, there was a poster, which said: “1 hour is just 4% of your day. So, what is your excuse not to exercise?” That statement really puts things into perspective, regardless of how busy you are. According to Nielsen Media Research, the average adult in America watches 5 hours of television a day. In my home country of Australia, the Australian Multi-Screen Report estimates that the average Australian adult watches over 3 hours of television a day.
Have you ever been belittled? Has anyone close to you ever put you down in the presence of others? How do you normally react when someone does that you? I can safely say that everyone (to some extent) has been subjected to the above-mentioned. On my Life Skills radio segment, a listener asked a question (and, in all honestly, I have forgotten her name). She asked: “How do I handle myself when someone is putting me down in front of others?”
What do you think someone will think of you, or how will they feel about you when they meet you for the first time? What type of ‘mark’ will you leave on them? Have you ever met someone for the first time, and thought or felt “There is something significant about this person?” I read a quote many years ago which changed the way I conducted myself in a professional capacity. The quote was “You never get a second chance to make a first impression” by Will Rogers. Then, I extended the influence of this quote to my personal life.
When was the last time that someone asked you for motivation? Alte atively, when was the last time that you asked someone else to provide you with motivation? My point is this, it is part of human behaviour to appreciate being motivated! We all have received motivation, and we all have motivated someone in some capacity. In an article that I wrote on 5 February 2010, I suggested that in order to gain motivation, you absolutely must focus on the motive behind the motivation. The word ‘motivation’ originates from the word ‘motive’.
On 21 June, I was fortunate enough to attend a presentation by Dr Sarah Hanieh (research fellow) at the Doherty Institute, and recipient of a PhD in Medicine from The University of Melbou e). She titled her speech “Breaking Through The Ice”. The insights in her presentation were based on her adventures during a trip to Antarctica through the Homeward Bound Project (a ground-breaking leadership initiative for women in science, set against the backdrop of Antarctica, which aims to heighten the influence and impact of women in making decisions that shape our planet.)
In the previous article (titled Worrying – The Truth About It), we discussed the negativity that we are exposed to on a daily basis. To be precise, I suggested “Switch off from the media – the Black Eyed Peas said “Wrong information always shown by the media. Negative images is the main criteria.” Regardless of how positive or optimistic you are, your mindset will become what you feed it.” After receiving feedback from more than a dozen readers about how they resonated with that suggestion, I decided to elaborate on how to productively handle daily exposure to negativity.
One of the world’s foremost leadership experts, Dr Marshall Goldsmith (who is like a virtual mentor to me) once said “Personal contact matters — and matters greatly”. When I was an Executive Coach, I came across many CEOs and MDs who were very emphatic on the personal touch. Regardless of whether you are in a leadership role or not (in a professional capacity), you must have come across situations where you acted as a leader. Leadership is a very wide and deep area, and it covers many aspects of human behaviour.r
As we start another year, people everywhere are looking for certain things in 2012. Well, whatever you are looking for, you will need to be well prepared for the opportunities, challenges, and rewards in 2012 So, here are my 7 Steps To Creating A More Rewarding 2012.
Motivational speaking legend Les Brown speaks about a study conducted at M.I.T (Massachusetts Institute Of Technology). The study concluded that every time a person directs a negative statement toward you, it takes 17 positive statements just to neutralise the initial negative statement! Think about that – one negative statement vs 17 positive statements, and then the impact on the individual becomes equal.
“Adapt or perish”. Have you heard that before? It is said that the only two certainties in life are death and taxes. Well, let’s add another one – constant change.
Grief is a part of human life, we all experience it during our time on earth. We generally tend to experience grief during a time of loss. Grief can consume us to an extend that getting through the day can be very challenging! Although there might not be any getting away from grief itself, there is always the opportunity to change your perspective on grief. So, here are some simple insights on overcoming grief:
We often hear the word “purpose” in the personal development field. One of my favourite lines that I use in my speeches is “Find your purpose, and live it with passion”. Yet, sometimes we need more clarity on the word “purpose” in the context of personal development. If I were to ask you right now, “What is your purpose in life?” would you be able to give me a clear answer without over-analysing it? Have you ever asked yourself that question? Please take a minute to reflect on that question. What answer immediately comes to your mind?
What is it about you that sets you apart from the masses of the population? Have you thought of doing something that is considered significant? Would you like to do something that will be considered significant? Creating something significant in your life is not just about being successful at what you do. It is also about making an impact and leaving something behind, long after you are gone. Please pay particular attention to the following question, and answer it from your heart: What would you like to be remembered for? Think about this question.
A very happy new year to you! I hope that you really enjoyed the Christmas season with family and friends. Seeing that now things are getting back to the normal routine (people are going back to work, and children are preparing to go back to school), we must focus on what we can do to make the year ahead a productive and purposeful one. Now, I won’t give you the ‘stock standard’ advice about the new year – make a resolution, stick to it, and encourage others to stick to their resolutions.
In one of his recent articles, New York Times Best-Selling Author and Leadership Specialist, Dr Marshall Goldsmith spoke about feedback and feedforward. I have considered Dr Goldsmith to be a virtual mentor for the past 6 years. His articles are always insightful. On a personal note, he has been very helpful to me whenever we have been in contact. In that article, Dr Goldsmith mentioned that feedback is often necessary, while feedforward has to be forward-looking, positive, and non-judgmental.
What is self love? Self love is the process of acknowledging, validating, honouring, and respecting yourself! So, why is self love important? The importance of self love can be traced back to the effects of nurturing yourself. When you nurture and support yourself, you are in a far better position to do the same thing for others in your life. It is basic human nature to support others. The early man lived in tribes where most things were done due to a collective effort! If you support yourself, you will get better at supporting others.
At the beginning of every year, so many people set “resolutions” for the year ahead, hoping to create some, or massive personal change. In a very insightful article by Ray Williams (published in Psychology Today), he mentioned that by the month of February, most people have started to backslide from their new year’s resolution. He also quotes Professor Timothy Pychyl, who says that resolutions are a form of "cultural procrastination." This may not surprise you, in western society, we could easily say that weight loss is the number one new year’s resolution.
I recently read an article (on how successful people set goals and follow through) by leadership expert and New York Time best selling author, Dr Marshall Goldsmith. In that article Dr Goldsmith speaks about ownership. He said “successful people have a high need for and reliance upon self-determination. They commit to the challenge, task, or process that needs their efforts and make a plan to meet their goals. Because of this commitment, they are far more likely to achieve success.” I have know Dr Goldsmith for about four years now, and consider him to be one of my virtual mentors.r
Have you ever wanted to do something that seemed important to you, but you didn’t go ahead because you were gripped by the fear of failure? If so, you are not alone. The fear of failure is a crippling force that affects almost every single human being. Why? In an article in Forbes, Vanessa Loder wrote “When we go outside of our comfort zone, we feel scared.” She hit the nail on the head by using the word “scared”. That is the reason why the fear of failure grips so many of us when we wish to take giant leaps in our personal lives or professional lives.
Imagine this – something goes wrong in the life of someone close to you. That person is shattered. What is one of the first things they could do? They could look for someone to blame. In my Life Coaching career, there have been many clients who chose to blame someone when things went wrong. Whenever someone told me about a problem they were facing, I would wonder “Will they take responsibility or will they play the blame game?” In an extremely insightful article by Dr Susan Whitbou e, she discusses in detail why we tend to blame others. Two of her very compelling reasons are:
When was the last time someone told you about something they wish to achieve? Whether they are looking at doing something big or doing something minor, there is an underlying reason for wanting to achieve that goal. At the end of the day, what most people seek is joy, fulfilment, pleasure, and a sense of achievement. One thing that I am very emphatic on is clarity. So, the next time you wish to do something which will give you joy, fulfilment, pleasure, and a sense of achievement, please gain clarity on four things in particular. And, here they are:
This year will be over in a matter of days. Then, 2014 begins. I would suggest that you take a long and hard look at 2013 (the year that it was, for you). While I realise that some people may say that the past is irrelevant, I strongly believe that the past can teach us a great deal. So, please look at 2013, and ask yourself the following questions: