Browse published articles attributed to Tina Tessina, with full-archive search.
Dear Dr. Romance Your articles are very helpful to me. Can you tell me what book of yours can help me heal from my last relatioship. The pain is still there and although I am sure I had to let go, I still care a lot. Dear Reader:
Dear Dr. Romance: If the child has not had a real relationship with her father for many years and does not see him more than 2 times per year, should a mother keep pushing a relationship with the father and child? Will it do more harm than good? Dear Reader:
Dear Dr. Romance,
Love, commitment and relationships seem to be in disfavor these days. I’m seeing a lot of articles and TV shows saying love doesn’t last, so why bother. But, I believe that all of us want to be loved, and I know from experience that a relationship can work, and that a great partnership is a joy not to be missed. A lot of people come into my office searching for love, especially unconditional love.
Dr. Romance video, click here for video When your partner refuses to help solve the problem, you have no choice but to focus on your own need until you get cooperation. As long as you offer every opportunity to cooperate and you extend an invitation to your partner to join you whenever he or she wishes, you are free to focus your attention on solving the problem for yourself.
This exercise is especially effective when you can’t sleep or when you experience anxiety attacks. If you worry a lot, or obsessively think about future events and problems when you should be concentrating on other things, follow these simple steps:
Dear Dr. Romance,
Dear Dr. Romance: Almost all of my friends have boyfriends, (we're 22, turning 23) and I don't. I never have. I feel really alone during the week because all my friends are with their boyfriends. I basically work, take classes, and that's it. I either need a boyfriend or more friends, because I'm lonely and hate it! Dear Reader: At times in life, old friends go through changes, and it's time to make new ones. If you haven't made new friends in a while, updating your definition of friendship and increasing your skills at meeting people will be worth your while.
In my clinical experience, I've encountered many clients who are afraid to admit they’re wrong. This comes from a culture of blaming and accusing—where one's early family may have picked a “culprit” when something went wrong, and focused on blame, rather than on fixing the problem and healing the hurt. People with such experiences approach every situation as if they're on trial, and they compulsively try to convince everyone they're not guilty. They have no patterns to follow for apology and forgiveness.
Handling Anxiety Effectively We are all in a time of high stress, and national disasters often bring up fear. If these fears are not dealt with, they can lead to “acting out” behavior, such as drinking too much or creating relationship, work or money problems as a distraction. To avoid these kinds of problems, follow these simple steps for resolving your fear and anxiety.
Dr. Romance wishes all of you a happy, healthy and loving 2012! We all are inspired to make resolutions in the new year, to celebrate new beginnings. Rather than resolving to exercise or diet, try: Dr. Romance's Top 5 Resolutions to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great Resolve to:
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dr. Romance writes:
Dear Dr. Romance:
There is always something in the news or on TV to scare us. Hysterical articles in the media sell papers, and attract eyeballs to websites, but are usually exaggerating the facts. If you listen without evaluating what you’re being told, it’s easy to become frightened. There's a reason why I don’t usually waste time and energy on panic and drama.
Dear Dr. Romance: My husband left to be with a much younger women. The problem became obvious in our marriage three years ago. I thought It would be something we would surpass.
Dr. Romance asks: Should you date someone who is divorced? Does it mean the person can't commit or trashes relaitonships? It's possible that those things are true, but let's look on the positive side. What are the perks of people who have already been through the mill? 1. Divorced people are no longer living in fantasy land. A person who’s divorced may have made some istakes, but he or she’s usually got a more realistic picture of what it will take to have a successful relationship.
Dr.Romance is happy to announce my newest ebook, The Ten Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make after Forty: Reinventing the Rest of Your Life.
Dear Dr. Romance: After experiencing alot of physical and emotional abuse in my life, my last relationship was very damaging emotionally and physically. Now, many years later, I haven't had a serious relationship or even a date since. I've had two opportunities this year, but one wanted to be friends,the other is working on overcoming his addiction,and has been successful for several years.
3 Must Do's If You Want To Break The Cycle If you're the adult child of a divorce or simply trying to improve your marriage, here are three tips to help you cultivate a good relationship with your partner. 1. Weekly State of the Union discussion.
Dear Dr. Romance: I saw your article "Surviving Loss and Thriving Again" while searching for answers to my own issues. The 'loved one' I lost was myself. I loved life, loved adventure, travel, people, photography, mostly adventure! In 2 seconds my life was 'taken' away pretty much. This week the pain seems more overwhelming, so I'm more depressed, and that's why I came across your site.
Dear Dr. Romance:
It is indeed possible to stretch time—to make the time you have go farther, and use it more for what you really want to do. Stretching time is not difficult if you have the prerequisites: self-awareness, a sense of purpose, thoughtful action, and a playful approach. Self-Awareness: As with all successful life skills, time stretching works better if you know yourself well. When you are aware of your priorities—for example, where do work, relationship, family and fun fall on “What’s most important” list? Are you spending the most time on what is most important?
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dear Dr. Romance: I'm trying to find out why I always have sex on the first date. This is not to say that I have sex with every girl I date, or even that every girl I've gone out with has even been interested in me. It is simply to say that the overwhelming majority of my "situations" have been one date situations, for whatever reason and on the occasions that the woman is interested in me, we usually end up having sex.
Valentine's Day gets a lot of media attention, and it can be hard to avoid. When you don't have a special someone to spend it with, or worse yet, you've just lost a relationship, it can be brutal. If you're alone, it's important to take good care of yourself. Gather your best friends around you and make some special plans to have a wonderful day. Send valentines or personal notes to everyone who means a lot to you.
This arrived in Dr. Romance 's e-mail:
Introverts can enjoy the parties, too, if they respect who they are and don’t let negative fantasies take over. Limit your social engagements to those that are manageable or meaningful to you, and allow plenty of time for being by yourself or with a single friend, if that's what makes you happy. If you're not happy about missing out on all the parties, here are some strategies to help.
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dear Dr. Romance: We'd been really close and intimate. I thought we were going to be in a special relationship soon because he told me we were having something special. No matter how tired he was, he'd had his dinner with me.
Thank you, Dear Dr Romance:
Dr. Romance wishes you Happy Holidays with a song lyric.
Miley Cyrus is only 19, and she's just gotten engaged to Liam Hemsworth. Will it last? Well, the fact that it's a celebrity match is not in its favor -- celebrity couples don't have a great track record. As a little pre-wedding gift, here's what Miley and Liam can do to make sure they're ready for a long, happy marriage. In my counseling practice, I see lots of couples who don’t make it, because they're not prepared, and their expectations are out of line with reality. In my counseling practice, however, I see lots of couples who don’t make it, for various reasons.
I received the following in an email:
Dr. Romance on men and biological clocks: To watch video, click here Yes, a man can feel the need to grow up and have a family, especially when he finds a woman who inspires those feelings in him. The problem is, how can you be sure the match is a good one?
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dr. Romance asks: Are you a single mom? Wondering whether you're too old to be back on the market? Well, wonder no more. Watch the video on YourTango.com Dating Advice Every Single Mom Should Know
Dear Dr. Romance: I am (or was, perhaps) in a fairly strong relationship for a few months now. Recently though, as the upcoming fall quarter approaches, my girlfriend doesn’t think she can handle a relationship. Between stress from school (she really wants her 4.0 this year), over-bearing parents, and the recent death of her dog, she has a lot going on. She has told me that she doesn’t think a relationship can work for her, with all the other things on her plate…
Dear Dr. Romance: Is he cheating on me? Or am I just being paranoid? Me and my boyfriend have been together for 15 months now. A couple of weeks ago we broke up and then got back together after a week. When we broke up he kept texting me, asking “Are you happy?” and stuff.
Dear Dr. Romance: This is something that's puzzling me for along time. I often do want the playgirl, but they like the more bad boy type. I know for sure I want sex without strings attached, many men get this, but I simply attract women who want a boyfriend, and I don't want this! It seems as if society is saying, cause I'm a nice guy, I must be trapped into a commitment to get what I want which is sex.
Dr. Romance writes: Sooner or later all of us question the meaning of life. The sooner we get to it, the better chance we have of finding a satisfactory answer.
Dr. Romance "Don't Call Your Ex" Dr. Romance’s How to handle being dumped DO put it in perspective If you're dumped, it hurts, but count your lucky stars. You don’t have a relationship if the other person's not really interested.
DO. NOT. REACT. Tips for surviving & mastering confrontation, with grace —in business & in love. Pop quiz, people: How do you drop an atom bomb of sudden, unexpected (and quite possibly, undesirable) information on someone you care about — without behaving like a cruel, dispassionate ogre? AND! If you’re the unfortunate recipient of the aforementioned atom bomb, how do you respond with compassion — instead of setting off a furious chain reaction?
So many couples are now separated part-or full-time because of military deployment and/or work travel and schedules, I get a lot of questions about faithfulness. Your marriage vows may have said, "'til death do us part" but no one said anything about what happens when a military career or traveling job makes it necessary for you to part, and you want to maintain the closeness in your relationship. Not only does the war take husbands away from their wives, but the greater involvement of women in the military means that more husbands are also left behind during wartime deployment.
In my private counseling practice, clients often tell me, "I want to be happy!" We then set about making it a reality. As a psychotherapist, I know that your habits, your relationships, your environment, and especially what you think about them determine more about how happy you are than your genes do because I've watched so many people figure out how to meet their goals and create their own happiness. You can improve any part of your life you wish: your relationship with yourself, your relationships with others, your work life, your home life, and even your health.
We’ve heard a lot about hope recently, but one thing was not said. Hope is scary. Anyone who dares to hope runs the risk of disappointment and feelings of failure. With the overwhelming focus on success in our culture, the threat of failure and disappointment is blown out of proportion. In my counseling practice, I see a lot of people who are afraid to follow their dreams without a guarantee.