Browse Abuse and Recovery

As a psychologist, domestic abuse consultant and one who has known domestic violence personally, I’m frequently approached by battered women for “psychological truth.” They are eager to know if the names and labels given to them by their abusive partners, or by the court agents acting on their abuser’s behalf, hold any validity.nnMany domestic violence survivors intuitively know they are falsely labeled, but remain at an impasse as to how they can refute such allegati

The above two words could be seen as travelling in each other’s company, but this concept could not be further away from the truth. If you have every walked the road I was set to travel the difference is insurmountable. Many may even think that the difference is only marginal so why split hairs? We have all at some point in our lives been involved in a sympathetic conversation, given someone that we care about a hug that will make everything turn out right. As we ourselves ha

I often hear domestic violence survivors complain that the counselor they are seeing with their partner has sided with him/her. These victims expected to seek therapeutic remedy for the dysfunction that they live, and they discover they have gained another “enemy.” Here are some things you will want to know if you are going to a therapist with your partner for domestic abuse. 1) Expect the therapy to be fertile ground for a continuation of what you experience in the priva

A common question people ask is what are some practical ways to break the cycle of abuse?nn First is identifying the syndrome nnIt is essential that you have identified the cluster of symptoms that defines domestic violence and understand how it lives in your life. Giving it a name is number one.nnIf you don’t do that what you end up doing is the following. One day you are treating what troubles you about your partner as though it’s substance abuse. Then, it looks

The holidays are just around the corner, and for many, that means stress and additional pressures from family and friends, which can lead to alcohol consumption as a coping mechanism. However, for some individuals, it means avoiding the temptation of alcohol altogether.nnThe New York State Office of Alcoholism and Substance Abuse Services (OASAS), estimates that last year there were more than 90,000 adults aged 18 and over with an alcohol dependency problem in the Hudson Vall

Renee L Richardson, M.Ed. Knowing the "Love" Within: 1/6/2017 So many times, we find ourselves sitting on the wayside of love, extremely disappointed, hurt and totally exhausted; simply because we failed to receive the love of which we have given. Were our expectations too high? Did we fully communicate what we expected? or did we create a cloud of fantasy-filled chocolate covered unrealistic, ill-communicated ulterior motives all neatly packaged within the boxes of our mind

Morphine addiction has a devastating impact on an individual’s health, relationships and overall quality of life. Morphine is a prescription narcotic that is used to treat pain but is also highly addictive. It produces a euphoric “high” which further heightens the possibility of addiction as does the individual’s tolerance to the drug. Morphine produces both physical and psychological dependence, often making one who is dependent feel that getting free of its hold is

I’m in a bad way I have only just made it to the bathroom before throwing up; sitting there on my cold floor tiles I put my head between my knees just to keep upright. The room is spinning, rotating all around me like some never ending merry go round. I know that this is where I will sleep tonight, not trusting myself to be too far away from the bathroom. Its cold the house is in darkness and has never felt so empty. It’s just me and my drunken stupor, along with my demons, w

For so many years I walked around with an enormous Psychological and Sociological residue, firmly believed that there was no way back for me. I sit here today typing, in the knowledge that the battle within myself is almost over. This is by far the battle you struggle with; it’s so hard to make headway. You can’t hide from your thoughts; equally you are unable to lie to yourself. For the world around us, it’s so easy to think that we are over the worst. People ask how you are

Are you familiar with any young people who have a domestic violence background? Would you be honored to instill in them a message that discourages inflicting harm against others, especially the ones they live with? You will learn methods you can use to mentor youth who have committed domestic violence or are at risk for engaging in this behavior. You will also learn how to assist young people who have been victims of domestic violence. One way you can assist young people who

This question used to be at the forefront of my mind, imbedded so deeply that there seemed to be no escaping the powerful emotions that it evoked. When did it start? Why was I born this way? How could I stop the terrible things going on all around me I was hurting so many people. Maybe the answer would be found in prayer, I was willing to do anything to stop my world from falling down all around me. It seemed that everything I touched fell apart. I was like my dad that what I

I am sitting next to my mum holding her hand, just as I have been doing for the last thirty days. They have just turned off the life support; I watched her dying breath as it escaped her tiny body. She had gone to hospital with lower back pain, a complaint that should never have caused the loss of life. My head is in my hands, it feels like my body is being torn apart by the hounds of hell. How in the world could this happen. On arrival she had not been seen by the consultant

Violence against women is one of the primary health problems facing adults today. Many people are not aware that childhood maltreatment is a powerful risk factor for health problems in adulthood. Its victims can suffer lifelong health effects. Maltreatment is best viewed as a risk factor for a wide range of subsequent health problems. Were you neglected, sexually abused or physically abused as a child? An important step is to face the truth about how you suffered as a child.

Trying to justify my resentment, anger and hatred was not worth the price of my health, nor is it worth yours. Today I have not only survived, but thrived and I'll show you how I did it. Resentment is a Latin word meaning to feel anger over and over. Like a poison, it shoots adrenalin into our bodies, raises our blood pressure and begins weakening the cells of our bodies, allowing cancer and any number of diseases to mutate in our weakened cells. I know this to be true becaus

I shoot up in bed sweat pouring from my body, the sheets clinging tightly all around me. I try to adjust my eyes to the light, while they are darting from one corner of the room to another. I know he is here I heard his footsteps on the stairs. He is coming closer and closer to me with ever step that he takes. Suddenly it’s all out there in front of me, the memory of his breath on my face, the rancid taste in my mouth. Invading my body whilst I am unable to move paralysed wit

In May, 2008 I wrote an article focusing on the down side of creativity tied to mental illness. Since then I have worked with many more creative people both as a therapist/counselor and in my volunteer involvement with the Cultural Council of Park County, CO and (helping start) the River Canyon Gallery in Bailey, CO. Also, I have discovered newer writers who take a very different view of what we call “mental disorders,” a view I have been sharing more and more as I continually gain knowledge and experience.r

Just as drug addiction has been on a steady rise throughout the United States, so has a steady growth in the number of drug abuse rehabilitation centers to help those struggle with drug addictions. As long as people can get their hands on alcohol, cigarettes, cocaine, heroin, marijuana, methamphetamine, narcotics, sleeping pills, and other addictive drugs, there will be a need for drug abuse rehabilitation centers to help those who have abused these drugs to the point of drug

If you have ever been abused we all have them. Days that we either choose to push back into the recess of our mind, or we have completely lost all memory of them. To this very day I still recognize this trait within me. In truth the only difference is that I no longer feel the need to revisit them to rake over my past. Having finally dealt with my past I no longer have that over welling compunction. Control is now totally within my grasp. If of my choosing I were to walk thro

It has been my experience that even when we feel the most alone, the most vulnerable or the most enraged, guidance and support surrounds us, if we only take time to notice.nnA huge ice storm hit just before Christmas. Branches laden with ice brought down wires and utility poles, not to mention extensive damage to property. The storm left many families, including my own, without power or heat for some time. Fortunate to have family that did not lose power in the storm, the kid

When you think of dangerous substances that you could get addicted to, you might think about cocaine, heroin and other substances of the same nature. However, alcohol is among the top substances that are abused, and there are quite a few reasons why it's highly addictive. Not only does alcohol impact your own life, but it also impacts the lives of your family and friends. Here are a few ways that you can help someone who has an alcohol addiction and a few signs to look for if

Maybe we need to rethink abundance. I lived my first nine years in England, from 1944 to 1953. In all those years we were under rationing. Food was doled out frugally, to the point that my sister and I suffered from malnutrition. Automobiles were scarce, we never got a television or a refrigerator, yet we had all we needed for life, and it felt just fine. When we came to the United States we entered a world of an abundance of goods, services, infinite landscapes, a seeming inexhaustible supply of wonderful things.

Out of the Fishpond:nThe Emotionally Abusive RelationshipnOut of the Fishpond:nnHow much time do you spend being preoccupied with your relationship? Are you anxious around your partner? Do you identify with these statements?nn"I feel like scrambled eggs when his anger comes out of nowhere. I spend days recovering." n"I get paralyzed. It is so crazy. I get to think that I'm the crazy one." n"I either get depressed and cry, or I eat and don't think of anything." n"He is either

In 1975 I graduated cum laude from San Francisco State University with a BA in anthropology, specializing in archaeology with a minor in sociology. I was accepted into graduate school. My first semester I found myself driving to school, maybe going to a class or two, but, more often, sitting in the parking lot drinking and doing crossword puzzles! I wrote a sob story to withdraw from my classes and was put on academic probation. The next semester I continued my irrational behavior, did not bother to withdraw, and was “disqualified from the University,” i.e. kicked out.

I was recently asked why I chose to write and publish a book about abuse and empowerment. Being a victim of child abuse by multiple people and reading everything I could about how to help myself I chose to start sharing with others how they too could benefit from what all I have learned, interpreted and applied to my life. I have met so many other people that have suffered at the hands of adults and we all have a common thread of after effects. I had never read a book on how

When we make the empowered decision to take back control of our lives, there is another hard fact that we need to face up to. While going through the trauma that engulfed our life’s for so many years, there is always going to be a fall out. Mine was the peace and protectio I thought I had imparted to my son. There was a shutter during that time, which when faced with something painful came hammering down. Shutting down was the only way I knew, of getting through those painful

How do you know if this is emotional abuse? How do you know if you are being abused emotionally? You know from the inside out.nnLook closely at these three tell-tale signs of emotional abuse and let your awareness of your inner experience, relative to each, permeate your entire being.nn 1) Being Called to the Carpet nnEmotional abusers have a very unique way of calling out their disappointments. They do it by calling you to the carpet, where you crawl with your tail between y

Forty-seven people were killed in mass murders in the US in less than 30 days this year. Everyone is looking for reasons and to make sense of these tragic events because we all cope better with catastrophic events if we can make some sense of them or find safety for ourselves and our loved ...

Repeated abuse has long lasting pernicious and traumatic effects such as panic attacks, hypervigilance, sleep disturbances, flashbacks (intrusive memories), suicidal ideation, and psychosomatic symptoms. The victims experience shame, depression, anxiety, embarrassment, guilt, humiliation, abandonment, and an enhanced sense of vulnerability. In "Stalking - An Overview of the Problem" (Can J Psychiatry 1998;43:473–476), authors Karen M Abrams and Gail Erlick Robinson write: "

Who do we see when we look in the mirror? You should be so comfortable with the face you were born with. We have seen ourselves grow and change, from the pictures we have witnessed when we were children. The truth is we never see the real us, the reflection always differs from the way that others see us. I am sure you know what I am talking about here, we think we are to fat but others tell us that not the case. Our hair never seems to look good, while friends ask us for our

When these words are spoken they are always received differently, depending on the impact they have on the person hearing them. For those of you like me who have gone through this experience, we also have a magnitude of different responses. Every one of us has a different story to tell. But let’s first go to those on the outside looking in. There is a stigma attached to those words that was never part of their remit. Association if recognised could taint their very being. The

Details about Michael Jackson’s passing are still fuzzy, but already people are drawing conclusions about the superstar’s premature demise. One media thread has him using prescription medications in what may have been a troubling way http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/06/25/michael-jackson-prescript_n_221178.html, railing http://www.huffingtonpost.com/deepak-chopra/a-tribute-to-my-friend-mi_b_221268.html against the so-called “enablers” who made sure he had access to

The first choice that can turn ones life in another direction is the choice I am referring to. This choice is to use or not use drugs or alcohol for the first time. If one is educated and prepared when they come face to face with this decision, is priceless. This is your first choice and very possibly your last. It happens much, much to often. There are great numbers of parents that know this fact, first hand. Talking to your children about the disguises of this first choice

Communicate with Kids about Drugsnan excerpt from the book, Positive Discipline for Parenting in Recovery, by Jane Nelsen, Riki Intner, and Jane NelsennnRecovering parents know first hand the realities and dangers of using drugs and alcohol. The last thing they want is for their kids to go through the living hell that they went through. They want to break the cycle of addiction.nThe pressure of that responsibility and the fear that your kids are at a high risk could motivate

In the past people trying to find help with addiction for the first time seldom consider an inpatient drug rehab program as a solution. That outlook is rapidly changing considering the dismal success rates with outpatient drug rehab treatment. People are starting to see those struggling with an alcohol or other drug abuse problem, have a much better chance at beating the addiction with an inpatient drug rehab center. According to the National Survey of Substance Abuse Treatm

An old Cherokee told his grandson one day about a battle that goes on inside people… He told him that the battle was betwee 2 wolves. One is Evil. It’s anger, envy, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego. The other one is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith. At the end of the story The grandson asks ” Which wolf Wins?” The old Cherokee repl

I have been reading The Healer’s Way, by Earnie Larsen. Larsen has the gift of story, as do I. I did not know I had this gift until I was given the greatest gift of my life other than life itself, sobriety, freedom from addiction through a spiritual path. The best stories come from my recovery journey anyway. We are coming up on the Christmas season, which has traditionally been a time of giving. Somehow it seems to have become more about getting, or at least giving with an expectation of return.

Today's Sermon - Can People Change - by Facilitator PeternCopyright © 2004 - 2007 Facilitator Peter All Rights ReservednnA baby that is born will never be more than the baby’s natural capability. This is God’s structural law providing the fetus was not damaged and if damaged, the problem is surgically corrected. It is also very easy to cause a baby to be less than what it is innately (inborn) capable, by creating a emotional/physical detrimental environment.

I have been reading a lot of things about the drug gang violence in Mexico and along our border. I am also seeing the most unlikely people coming out against the “war on drugs,” such as police chiefs and, most recently, Tom Tancredo. I have been counseling people with addictions for over 26 ...

What if I don’t have a talent for creative writing? On the other hand - what if I do? ______

Domestic violence help comes in all shapes and sizes. There is the crisis hotline to get you where you need to go ASAP. Then, there are the community domestic abuse support groups that assure you that “you are not alone.”nnYour domestic violence shelter will give you all the resources for your immediate transition from the danger you live to safe housing. They may even have a domestic abuse legal advocate that will help you with your legal matters. nnBut what about your p

Drunk driving involvement in fatal motor-vehicle crashes is on the rise. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, alcohol was involved in 41 percent of fatal crashes in 1995. Between 1982 and 1993, 266,291 deaths in the United States were alcohol related - one fatality every 30 minutes. How about trying a Breathalyzer. What if friends started to talk about drunk driving? nnGrowing up in high school I remember my friends talking about how wasted they go

"I LIKE HELPING! As long as I take care of myself in the process" ⦠Many ACoAs are trained from birth to be helpers, regardless of their native personality style & interests. There’s an ironic saying in recovery circles: “ACOAs are born with an MSW (Masters in Social Work) and get their Birth Certificate later”!

Understanding How Emotional Reactivity Can Get Us Stuck And How to Get Off of the Flypaper. “So, Doc, what’s wrong with my head?” Latesha looked at me pensively. It sounded like a set-up for both of us. The two months she had spent in bed had something to do with her attending to the signals coming from the emotional, as opposed to the rational part of her brain. It also had to do with beliefs she had about her situation and life. But the fact is that our understanding

As cyberbullying has emerged with the development of technology, for many parents, it may feel a bit like uncharted territory. On many difficult topics, We often relate to our children by similar experiences during our childhood. However, due to its recent appearance, cyberbullying is likely not something you experienced as a kid. Answer these five questions to help you begin to identify if your child has become the target of cyberbullying. Have you noticed a change in emotio

Women say, I was glad when he hit me, because I finally realized what was on my plate. I finally got it. This is abuse! nnDo you need the altercations in your home to become physical before you can see them for what they are? If so, you could be making your remedy more difficult, more debilitating, than you may imagine.nnEach time a verbal assault occurs, is neutralized, rationalized, forgiven, swept under the carpet, the elephant that forms under the carpet gets larger and l

I can remember twenty years ago having an elitist attitude about how I found my doctors. I only saw a doctor by referral. I was not the kind of person to find a doctor in the yellow pages. And I was accustomed to patients seeking me out through referral. Roughly 90% of my patients came to me through doctor or friend referral. nnWith the advent of the Internet and unlimited long-distance calling, doors have opened up for a new era of psychotherapy: Internet referral and teleph

It’s raining and I am kneeling next to my father’s grave. The dirty water and mud swish all around me but I pay no mind. I have so many questions that need to be answered by a man that has been dead for so many years. Do I remember him or only the stories I have been told over the years? I was only three when he departed this world. As far back as I can remember my Stepfather had told me that I was just like him. My Father had been a violent drunk; my mother had endured a lif