Browse Abuse and Recovery

We hear a lot about leaving an abusive relationship. Those on the outside say you must. Those on the inside know they ultimately will. And those responsible for the abuse say you can’t, shouldn’t and better not or else! nnWhat are the real obstacles to leaving an abusive relationship? What obstacles prevent people from leaving their abusive relationships?nn Unrealistic Hopes... nnUnrealistic hopes, dreams, roles and perceived love prevent survivors from ending the

Right off the bat that must sound like such a selfish thing to say, why would I wish what had happened to me on my siblings? But it’s an age-old question that hunted me for many years. Did I do something wrong? Was it because I miss behaved? Surly not I only acted that way to get noticed. If I were noticed, then people couldn't help but see what was happening to me. Anyway why should it only happen to me? There’s that selfish thought again. Truthfully I was not even sure that

Through the writing my book, I have found the strength and hope to come back from a very dark place. My greatest wish would be to impart that message to others. We can all achieve that. There is a place deep inside of us that remains untapped, unless you reach your lowest point, and allow the soul within you to take hold. Today my outlook on life is so very different, instead of the glass being half empty, the glass is half full. There is always a light at the end of the tunn

All across the United States, people are looking to regain control through alcohol detox programs. It is fortunate that we live in a country where there are so many public and private agencies looking out for the welfare of society. These programs are known to be very effective when people sincerely wish to regain control through alcohol detox. There are a variety of reasons that work together in these alcohol detox programs to make them successful.nnEvery alcoholic who has t

Habits are habitual, aren’t they? This is so true for the “being battered” habit. It is as though you come to expect punishment not only when in his/her presence, but also long after your abusive partner is out of the room, out of your house or even out of your life.nnIf you are a survivor of domestic abuse and you long to shed yourself of the habits of being battered, you will want to practice these secrets to getting out and staying out of the doghouse.nn1) When you c

Abuse is fundamentally about control. Violence may be a manifestation of relationship abuse, but domestic abuse is really about control. And the perpetrator can’t bear to be out of control. When perpetrators feel they are losing control, their means to exercise control escalates.nn What are the primary ways an abuser controls his/her victim: nn 1) Always being right nThe abuser truly believes in one perspective: his/her own. They are always right, therefore making you wrong

Alcoholism has been a problem for many years on Turtle Island. Turtle Island is the name of North America according to some indigenous groups based on a Lenape story of the “Great Turtle” which was first recorded in archive between 1678 and 1680 by Jasper Danckaerts. The story has been shared by the Northeastern woodland tribes, most notably the Iroquois.rn rnSince the pilgrims first started arriving in the Americas alcohol has been a major difficulty with Native American

The link between alcoholism and genetics is still being explored and there remains much to be learned. It has long been the belief that if you have alcoholic parents you have a much greater chance of becoming an alcoholic yourself. However, the role of genetics in this puzzle is still being determined. The argument that your genetics play a big part how likely you are to becoming an alcoholic gained some ground with the scientific study on the CREB gene that was completed ar

The last time I gave advice to a bodybuilder was in 1981. I was a freshman in high school, and I told a friend's brother to "slow down his reps." I thought that was good information, seeing as how I had just read it in article by Arnold Schwarzenegger. Well, this guy put the weight down and kneed me in the thigh so hard I couldn't walk for an hour. Twenty-six years later, I can still hear him clear as day asking me, "Who's BIGGER—me or you?"n nIf ever there was a significan

Want to know how to help saving lives of those struggling with the chronic suicidal thoughts? It takes a lot of courage to help a person who has suicide tendencies. If the person is also consuming drugs or alcohol or is verbally or physically abusive, helping them might seem even more impossible. If someone comes to you and tells they're struggling with suicidal ideation or that they want to end their life, what will you do? Hearing this might make you feel overwhelmed and wo

Hi to all Hypnotherapists. I wonder how many of you are struggling to make a good living from your profession, I wonder how many of you know that of 100 therapists who pass the exam only 2 will make it big according to the stats? I wonder if any of you out there have a proven way to advertise ...

Alcohol abuse is a problem that plagues all areas of the world. This form of substance abuse has been proven to be fatal to many. There are many more individuals that will experience the loss of their life due to the fact that they are addicted to alcohol. It has been estimated that this particular problem results in as many as 120,000 deaths annually – just in Canada and the United States. In addition to being potentially life-threatening, individuals who suffer from alcoh

I have been asked by a few people of late as to my motivation for writing this book. The answer is twofold. I had to find a way to deal with my demons, which even after all these years, seemed so reluctant to leave. Secondly and I believe just as important, was to reach out to others. It’s easy to think that you are alone in your pai I know I did. You convince yourself, that you’re the only person in the world this could ever have happened to. That in some manner you’re a bad

Drug and alcohol addiction are becoming increasingly prevalent in the United States. The line of celebrities entering and leaving rehab (often several times) seems endless. Additionally, young people are exposed to more than 1,000 beer and wine commercials on television each year. They also see several thousand incidents where drinking is fictional and glamorized. As daily stressors increase in people's lives, combined with the easy availability of alcohol offering a quick fi

For the past 6 years I have been on a spiritual journey. It started because of the click of a remote. I had always been the "faithful" one in Church and its teachings. It never occurred to me that some things could be wrong or exaggerated. At the same time, I did wonder why people did not seem ...

Parents who want to prevent their children from drinking. Many kids and teens try alcohol. Most children have their first alcohol at an early age, as young as 10 or 11 or even younger. This is dangerous. alcohol can cause special problem for kids and teenagers because many parts of their body are not fully grown yet. They are also more likely to develop problems with alcohol later in life. Many kids to get the wrong message about alcohol. Children are receiving powerful messa

Verbal abuse is toxic, especially when you are on the receiving end. It can wear you down, burn you out, and literally change the way you think and feel about yourself. But it doesn’t have to...nnHere are some insights that will help you hold your own in the face of verbal abuse.nn1) Know that the verbal abuse says more about the verbal abuser than it says about the abused. You may have heard this without understanding why, and therefore not fully trust this to be true.nn2)

Bullies are people we deal with 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. They’re our coworkers, neighbors, acquaintances, strangers, and, yes, even family and friends slip on their bully masks from time to time. (Some more than others!) No matter who, where, or why, bullies can make you feel miserable and about as small as the period at the end of this sentence.nnMale or female, young or old, short or tall, fat or thin—I think you see where I’m going with this—bullies aren’t

Back in 1976, my family was living in Pakistan, where I was conceived. My dad had borrowed just enough money to fly himself to Canada. It took him four years before he could save up the money to fly my mom and my five siblings to Canada as well. So, I had absolutely no communication with my dad until I came to Canada at the age of four.nnOnce in Canada, both my parents worked full-time to create a lifestyle for us. All my time was therefore spent in school, and at baby-sitter

Do what you’re called to do and the universe will support you. You’ve probably heard this, but may be scratching your head thinking about your bills, responsibilities and all of the what ifs...nnThis is understandable. So rather than jump in with blind faith, I want to invite your everyday casual, rational mind to do what you’re called to do. And then, address the missing link domestic abuse survivors commonly bring to the table.nn Doing What You’re Ca

We hear a lot about the “he said, she said” when it comes to relationship violence. The challenge for advocates and interventionists is to accurately ascertain, not only “who did what” but even more revealing, what are the underlying dynamics inspiring the altercations between the parties?nnThere are some clear distinctions between “classic intimate partner abuse” and “interactional relationship violence.” nn1) Classic intimate partner abuse is one-way. That i

When domestic violence is before the court, fortified with finance and politics, the net result is the protective parent is about punishment and the children are about abuse.nnSound strange? If you’re living it, the strange nightmare while twisted is ever so true.nnFar too often when domestic abuse survivors seek remedy for family violence in family court, they discover that the abuse they longed to arrest is perpetuated by domestic relations court. Here’s why:nn Family C

1. Why did you decide to share your story with the world? Answer – This is a very good question and one I have asked myself many times over. The answer is not very black and white; it’s was a combination of many factories. It truth at first it was a way of trying to heal myself, if I could just revisit that dark place then maybe I could find some sort of closure. Seeing it down in print made me face my demons, there was no longer any choice. It became so very real and I was m

When it comes to drug use and sex, the popularization of combining the two has come about by inaccurate portrayals of how substance abuse affects this basic human function. Books, movies and television have glorified drugs like ecstasy that purportedly increase a person's libido and greatly enhance the feeling of sex. However, these glorifications generally omit the fact that when drugs and sex are combined, the result is often unwanted pregnancies, the transmission of sexual

We know that domestic abuse survivors endure the tremendous pressure of their controlling partners. And they become accustomed to manipulation as a means to fulfill one’s personal needs.nnIt’s no wonder that manipulation becomes a method of choice when it comes to meeting their own individual needs. But how satisfying will this be in the long-run? nnHere are some guidelines for you to more effectively meet your personal needs in your relationships.nn1) Clarify for yoursel

Some people are naturally drawn to high-risk behaviors. This may involve taking drugs or alcohol, engaging in promiscuous sex, gambling or getting into physical altercations. There are many different ways this tendency can manifest, but all can be dangerous. In some cases, such actions can have legal consequences. They can also be harmful to your health, employment and relationships. If you or someone you care about engages in high-risk behaviors, the following tips can be he

If your home consists of one (or more) parent that batters, chances are higher that your children will acquire the same tendency to be controlling and use battering to get their way.nnNow this doesn’t mean that all children of abusers become abusers, as they may very well instead become victims in their adult intimate relationships instead.nnFortunately, it is also true that one can choose to over-compensate and end up highly sensitive to battering as an adversity to avoid.

As we all are aware of the fact that depression is one of the most infuriating and mentally straining health conditions that has sown its roots in the minds of children along with adult individuals in recent times with increasing at a drastic rate. The severity of this mental disorder and its allied health implication in the general population makes it a major delirious health condition that needs a quick attention. It has been estimated that more than 2 million teenagers as

Common thinking is that domestic violence is a misfortune that befalls the lower class. We hear about them more, we see more of them, we have public services to care for their needs...but that doesn’t make them in the majority when it comes to domestic abuse. nnI would venture to say that we are looking at a relative representation of the population; not a socio-economic indicator of domestic abuse.nnWould you know a battered queen if you saw one? Moreover, would you re

Addictive Personalitiesr Part Two of a Three Part Article Written by Randi G. Fine Much has been written about genetic predisposition and its relationship to addictive personalities. Having an addict in the family does not guarantee that everyone in the family will become addicts. But many believe that hereditary factors can raise a person’s level of vulnerability to substance abuse or other addictions. That may explain why some gamble in moderation and others compulsively—w

It can be difficult to tell how much emotional pain a loved one is experiencing, even if you are close to them. Many times, people have trouble expressing themselves, or don't want to trouble those around them with their problems. Perhaps you have noticed something different about something, or have a feeling that something is wrong. Sometimes, emotional distress can turn into something worse, such as depression, so it's very important to recognize if someone needs help. Ther

If you chose fear, then the object of your fear is scary. If you chose not to fear, the object is neutral. Fear is a choice.nnAnd the choice you make will determine how you see the other person, thing or situation AND how you experience yourself relative to that person…how you experience yourself in that situation.nnThis simple little principle, as it relates to domestic violence survivors, can be easily seen through the analogy of public speaking.nnWe hear that public spea

The mind-emotion-body connection is something some of us take for granted, while others remain in awe. I do both. nnNow here is a little psychological insight that will open doors for your recovery from psychological, mental and emotional abuse.nnGo ahead and get your coffee or herbal tea because we’re going to have another one of those psychological conversations.nn Thought-Emotion-Physiology nnWhen a little thought registers in our minds—when we intentionally or unconsc

The nation's 1,200 abuse shelters are filled with homeless persons and substance abusers, making it hard for true victims of domestic battery to get the help they need, reveals a report released today. The report is issued by RADAR Services, a group of men and women working to improve the effectiveness and accessibility of domestic violence programs.nnThe report, Are Abuse Shelters Helping the True Victims of Domestic Violence?, reveals that only one in 10 persons are in the

While the punch, the black eye, the bruised throat or broken jaw are obviously glaring signs that one is living in an abusive relationship, these are not always the clues that inspire the abused to leave.nnAs human beings we have an enormous capacity to whether trauma and a built-in mechanism to compartmentalize our pain. It is our psychological coping procedure that in many respects helps us manage distress and keeps us sane.nnSo when your daughter or son puts a blanket of d

Often it is the person closest to the abused individual that becomes vocal about the existence of an abusive relationship. This may be mother, father, sister, brother or best friend. What becomes most difficult for these bystanders is helping their loved one acknowledge the abuse as they see it.nnHow do you help your daughter,* sister or friend awaken to their abusive relationship? Over the years in working with families, I’m aware that their very efforts to accomplish

I hear people claim they can’t meditate and so they opt for some other form of relaxation or marshal art. My hunch is they can meditate if and when they get out of their way.nnMeditation is fundamentally not a doing activity, though there is a discipline of routine and mechanics involved. nn Common Obstacles in Meditation nnWhen we set aside our expectations of how and what it should be; and rather, hone in on how we experience whatever our experience is in the moment,

Being a domestic violence survivor is quite a job, but navigating the system to secure your safety can feel like a life sentence. nnYou expect the system to “protect” you and your children. And when you see your case and your cause given lip service over actual remedy-providing service, you wonder, “why?” nnYou think if you just try harder or communicate clearer with your divorce lawyer, then your case will be brought before the court. And this will provide you with t

Lately I have thought of some powerful analogies for life. Life has been a most excellent teacher. This weeks lesson was, "what you don't fix will ultimately cost you." This lesson came because I procrastinated having a leak fixed on my car. That leak that would have only cost me $75 ended up ...

Life can get a little crazy sometimes. Things can be going smoothly for years on end, and it seems like you're making progress – but then you get hit with some kind of tragedy that just knocks the wind right out of you. Tired of the Same Old Life Then you get hit again – and again. Sometimes it even seems like the whole universe is conspiring against you, and if you're sinking into depression you might even give into that way of thinking. But that's not what's really goin

In my freshman year of high school, one of my closest friends suffered severely from a clinical depression that required both therapy and medication. Not only had she even attempted suicide, she was confronting the repressed memories of childhood sexual abuse by her former stepfather.nnIt was too much for me to handle.nnHer constant crying and dismal moods made me feel helpless, and then irritated, and then angry at myself for not having a large enough well of empathy to help

We all have our moments when we slide into that beaten down spot and find ourselves wallowing in thoughts that keep us there. It’s as if one picks up where one’s former batterer left off. nnWhen that happens, nip it in the bud. In the same way that you may quash a cold coming at its early onset (at the very first sign of it coming on), you arrest its progression.nn How to Nip It in the Bud nn 1) Be in and come from pure positive energy nCome to know the experience of time

Life has sent me more than what I consider my fair share of stumbling blocks my way over the years . n nMy great friend and mentor Les Browns says “When you fall try to land on your back because if you can look up, you can get up. But the problem is most of the time the fall is totally unexpected.nnPeople don’t get married to get a divorce, they don’t start school to drop out. They don’t start a business to go bankrupt. But the reality of it all is bad things do happe

The use of psychology or psychiatry to contain and control a family member (or close friend) is almost as old as psychiatry itself. Not well publicized, however a practice that dates back decades.nnFrom time to time, you may see a person wearing a psychiatric diagnosis that was inspired by the manipulation of a family member or close friend. You believe they are crazy because they have been labeled as such. And often times, they begin to demonstrate symptoms lending credibili

There was an article on the Internet today (April 15, 2009) that said a new drug, naltrexone will soon replace the need for alcohol rehab because this “miracle” med takes away the craving for alcohol. No more need for 12 steps, no meetings, no sponsor and for goodness sake, you never ever have to say The Serenity Prayer: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference.” I say, “Hog

Public Speaker Douglas Dane gives talks and presentations to teens, parents and educators on recovery from abuse.