Psychology Articles

Your gift to someone, how you thought about them-if at all- tells about you. As an example, jewelry is an “easy” gift for a man to give to a woman. Clothing have more intimate overtones. Extravagant: You want others to keep in mind what you put out for them. Gifts (That Are Really For You): When the gift you give is really for yourself, that is, you benefit thereby, pompousness and conceit are the order of the day. A Gift You Would Want: Giving a gift that you personally w

You are what you eat. All Day Long: Although actually full, you feel the need to give just a little bit more to yourself. Essentially feeding your lack of self assuredness. Anorexic: Taught not to give in to basic pleasures even moderately, this being the devil’s way, you have actually denied yourself living. At Home: Although you are not a spendthrift, you are known to have been labeled at times as cheap. Actually you prefer the lack of formality, although it’s true that

Ending a relationship can be a difficult and devastating process, but when children are involved, it gets more complicated. When divorcing, the desired outcome is usually to separate physically, financially and mentally. However, parents are ultimately bonded and connected to each other for the rest of their lives, at least through their children, making "moving on" delicate and challenging. Here are a few things to think about for parents considering a break-up:

For those who experience an OCD hair pulling condition known as trichotillomania there can be a lot of embarrassment. Some of you may want to find a hair pulling treatment but be afraid to discuss the condition with anyone. This disease can be difficult to discuss due to the overall embarrassment over the situation. There are treatments available if you are willing to discuss the problem with your personal doctor or a psychologist. In fact there are a couple of different trea

Inner strength is created though effort and determination. At the core of it is the trust that one way or another you will be able to deal with whatever you may encounter in life - whether it be a crisis or simply the challenges of daily life. If you do not let them crush you, hardship and adversity provide a opportunities to steel your inner fortitude. But you can also develop and strengthen it by deliberately enhancing key psychological attributes that will make you stronger and more resilient: Strengthen your Sense of Self.r

Loss, death: it’s a part of the human experience. COVID-19 has certainly reminded us all of that. It stinks. Yet I want you to realize that there is a lot you can do to have it be less awful… for you and your loved ones. While it may be new, that this is the first time that we have all experienced major or minor losses at the same time, what isn’t new is that loss is loss is a loss. No matter the nature or the depth. I say this to reassure you: that you already know everything you need to manage really well right now.

Overcoming low self-esteem is probably one of the most misunderstood problem of the professional community, meaning psychotherapists, counselors, or coaches. The full dimension of low self-esteem does not seem to be generally understood. Often clients reported that they saw several therapists and still felt that they received only little help. Some therapists may even become irritated or hostile, pigeon-holing the client as “resistant.” This, of course, leads to a vicious circle of seeking understanding and not getting it.

Thank you so much for continuing on this journey with me. Last week we took a deeper dive into four key principles to becoming your own mood expert: 1. Keeping Positive 2. Creating a Treasury of Mood Adjusters 3. Assessing your Lifestyle Choices 4. Practicing Gratitude

We started last time talking about dealing with the feelings you may be having given the new, very challenging time, we’re finding ourselves in. We will get through this if we work together.

Dealing with a mentally ill child can be a frustrating and heart breaking experience. Parents who witness sudden changes in grades, friends, and behaviors in their children may not know how to respond or where to turn for help. There are a few basic criteria that parents can implement to determine the best course of action and counseling for their struggling child. Cognitive Behavioral Counseling Children who suffer from emotional disorders often exhibit signs of anxiety, dep

Ways Your Website Should Be Perfect to Avoid Losing Sales “I can see I’m dealing with a perfectionist here.” This is what a client said to me the other day when I pointed out a glaring error on her website that we had just launched for her, appearing after her assistant made an update. “Well of course!” I wanted to exclaim back, “aren’t you with your business?”

Every day is full of decisions: what to wear, what to buy for dinner, which way to go, who to contact, when to take the dog for a walk … But while those ‘small’ choices might affect how your day goes, it is the big ones that have a significant effect on your life. To work out the choices you can realistically make, ask yourself which things are beyond your control, which are within your control or at least something you can influence. Then make the most important choice of all: to be in the driver’s seat of your life and exercise your free will wherever possible!

Dear Mom and Dad, Please remember my life has been turned upside down and I never had a vote. I don't have a rulebook to negotiate waters totally unfamiliar to me. It is really hard for me to understand that my family has broken up. I feel scared that I will loose one or both of you. I don't know what to do with all the bad feelings I have. It would really mean a lot to me if you could do a few things to help me with the land mines I seem to be stepping on. Thanks for taking the time to listen.

Have you been feeling the doldrums with your job lately? Do you find yourself procrastinating with certain tasks? Is it hard to get up in the morning to get to work? If you answered "yes" to these questions, chances are there is incongruence between your job and your life purpose. And, the good ...

The most powerful segment of our body is the brain. If one intends to stay at the top and be in control of things, then it is imperative to learn about activating the subconscious mind. All other things are easily attainable as opposed to control of one’s mind. If, indeed one is able know how to trap the incredible power of the mind, then you are on your way enroot to absolute success. The subconscious mind can be likened to a power supply source which has been switched off

Can we reprogram the subconscious mind? Many people think that the subconscious mind can not be reprogrammed but studies have proven this idea to be untrue. The first thing to address regarding the subconscious mind is the fact that when man was born, the subconscious mind was empty like a brand new tape but this state does not last long. What we don't realize is that a baby hears everything that is said around him. If someone says 'you're just like your brother' or 'I hope y

The Challenges to Having a Holiday in Recovery

Many people are cut off from what their bodies are feeling, unaware of how their emotions manifest physically. Whether you're aware of it or not, emotions often can be first detected in the body. Do you know that different people experience the same emotion differently? When you feel rage, ...

Subconscious learning refers to the process of acquiring new information deliberately and storing this information in the subconscious mind in order to achieve a goal. The goals vary from one individual to another, some people may be trying to learn how to be confident and believe in themselves, how to get over a phobia, negative habit or addiction. Although subliminal messages maybe received by the mind without a listener planning to, these aren’t normally aimed at the wel

The Five Factor Model deals with the healthy, normal personality. Not so other factor models. In 1990, Clark and a group of researchers constructed an instrument with 21 dimensions, based on the criteria of personality disorders in the DSM-III, on various scholarly texts in the field, and even ...

Do you share the common belief that you have to analyze events in your childhood in order to get better? I would like to challenge this belief. Quite often it is not necessary or even counter-productive to 'rummage through the past'. But why is it such a popular idea? Our general approach to repair things...

Phineas Gage was a 25 years old construction foreman who lived in Vermont in the 1860s. While working on a railroad bed, he packed powdered explosives into a hole in the ground, using tamping iron. The powder heated and blew in his face. The tamping iron rebounded and pierced the top of his ...

Every day, whether it’s a fantastic day, a so-so one, a day of crisis, or during a pandemic, life is happening to you. Life calls upon you to decide how to respond, and how you choose to act makes a big difference in the quality of your life: how effective you are, and how happy you are. Would you like to learn to respond more successfully to what life presents? Then take a look with me in the area of coping mechanisms so that you can ingrain the ones that work best for you and let go of the ones that cost you too much.

At one point of your life you may need to find a psychotherapist in order to deal with your personal problems and mental insecurities. No matter what your problem is, as you might already know, it’s always best to look for a better therapist who can help you go through your issues more easily and with less hassles and hardships. But how would you find a good therapist ? Isn’t that difficult if you have no experience.rnWorry not, there are some basic things you can learn q

How does reprogramming the subconscious mind help anyone? What's the subconscious mind anyway? The word subconscious is used in numerous dissimilar contexts. It has no exact or clear-cut meaning. This to a great extent limits its implication as a meaning-bearing idea. Take for example, riding a bicycle. Initially, when you first tried to ride a bike, your conscious mind is helping you try to ride the bike. You’re thinking how to balance the bike, pedal to move forward and s

In their opus magnum "Personality Disorders in Modern Life", Theodore Millon and Roger Davis define personality as: "(A) complex pattern of deeply embedded psychological characteristics that are expressed automatically in almost every area of psychological functioning." (p. 2) The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM)) IV-TR (2000), published by the American Psychiatric Association, defines personality traits as: "(E)nduring patterns of perceiving, relating to, and thinki

If you want the nightmare to end, there is a rule of thumb which requires courage and determination to implement: Involve the police whenever possible. Report his crimes as soon as you can and make sure you retain a copy of your complaint. Your abuser counts on your fear of him and on your ...

A good mental health therapist seeks to improve the state of mind of individuals and help them overcome things that bar them from learning and growing. People, who are psychological stable, are well emotionally and behaviorally. They are said to be mentally healthy. This means that a mental health therapist would be interested in solving problems related to emotional well-being, behavioral health and psychological stability in order to improve the stability of the state of mi

The Eating Disordered Patientn Eating disorders - notably Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia Nervosa - are complex phenomena. The patient with eating disorder maintains a distorted view of her body as too fat or as somehow defective (she may have a body dysmorphic disorder). Many patients with eating ...

Many psychoanalysts and probably the multitude of drivers state that the automobile in the driver’s hands is an extension of themself. Let’s see to what extent. Above The Speed Limit: When you drive above the speed limit, it is the rebellion in you that simply will not let you listen to anyone, or anything telling you what to do. Recklessness is indicated. Back Seat Driver: You need other people to say that you are okay. Not actually feeling one hundred percent okay, it is

Do you worry about how other people perceive you? Do you consider yourself an excellent mind reader who knows what others think about you? Maybe you've thought, "He's disgusted by my weight" or "She can tell I feel bad about being short." The truth is no one can read others' minds, and it's ...

You have choice today to succeed or fail. Success is solely a personal decision and that no one can take that away from you. Do everything in your power to convince yourself what you want in life is worth sacrificing your mind to. You have the freedom in today’s world to live a miserable life or a happy life; no one can take that way from you. Today you decide if you start your project to success or leave it for tomorrow. But you, you are the one that will have to pay the consequences and face the results because you have the freedom to choose.

The dissolution of the abuser's marriage or other meaningful (romantic, business, or other) relationships constitutes a major life crisis and a scathing narcissistic injury. To soothe and salve the pain of disillusionment, he administers to his aching soul a mixture of lies, distortions, ...

As challenges appear in our lives, we do not always have the time or money to seek professional help, or maybe we're not ready to share ourselves with another person, i.e. a therapist. There are many self help books, and I have read a few, that made a profound difference in my life. I ...

When we go for a psychotherapy session we go into a room with our therapist, we sit or lie down, and we talk. The therapist listens and makes occasional comments. When the allotted time is up, we leave. How can something apparently so ordinary be so unlike anything else we have experienced and have the power not only to heal us of emotional problems.rnPsychotherapy is referred to as a 'talking cure' and talking is all that happens, but by ordinary standards the conversation w

"You are confined only by the walls you build yourself!" Rationalizing is something we do when we don't want to face the truth. Rationalizing is something we use to make what just happen ok in our eyes. Rationalizing is a tool for survival when things are too bad to survive. Rationalizing helps us cope when we can't cope! Rationalizing is making up a story to protect those we love in our eyes! Rationalizing is smoothing everything over because the road became too bumpy. Rationalizing is what people do to enable substance abusers.

How to get your abuser to see reason in the first place? How to obtain for him the help he needs – without involving law enforcement agencies, the authorities, or the courts? Any attempt to broach the subject of the abuser's mental problems frequently ends in harangues and worse. It is ...

Most victims attempt to present to their children a "balanced" picture of the relationship and of the abusive spouse. In a vain attempt to avoid the notorious (and controversial) Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), they do not besmirch the abusive parent and, on the contrary, encourage the ...

As a business and life coach, I often find myself discussing the importance of saying "no" with busy, stressed out business owners and professionals. Everyone likes the idea of saying "no" more often, at least in theory. But, when it comes to actually doing it, I hear a lot of "yes, buts." In ...

You are living in a dangerous cult. I mean it. Of course, like most people in cults, you don’t think it’s dangerous—or that it’s even a cult. This “cult” that you (and I) are living in is the hyper capitalist economic system of modern day life. In this cult or cult-ure we’re part of, we’re hypnotized to believe certain things that are not really true. For example, we’re conditioned to believe that if only we had more money, or the right relationship or less wrinkles—THEN we’

Child bullying is a big problem in our schools today. The main difference between child bullying today from the past is the nature of the bullying and the violence that occurs in the aftermath. Cyberbullying is becoming a popular and more destructive form of bullying than traditional bullying. More children today are bringing guns to school to seek revenge on others. Child bullying has been around and will probably remain for years to come. Unfortunately, we do not have the p

It is not easy to tell when the patient's anxiety and depression are autonomous and neurotic problems or symptoms of a personality disorder. These should, therefore, be ruled out as differential diagnostic criteria. In other words, the mere existence of depression or anxiety in a patient does not prove that he or she has a personality disorder. Instead, the diagnostician should concentrate on the patient's defenses and perceived locus of control. Patients with personality d

Knowing that most of you are being affected by the COVID-19 pandemic, I want to share some thoughts I’ve had for how to cope with the challenges you’re facing as a result. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed or unsure about what to do; this is uncharted territory for us all.

Momentum is a powerful force. Once you are in motion, the tendency is to keep moving. And your movements, especially when hurrying and worrying, can be in both body and mind. All you need to stop the momentum of mind and body begins with giving yourself permission to stop. Try this practice ...

we introduced the importance of being able to say No. For the purpose of our discussion this week we are talking about people with equal status in the relationship. This does not include parent-child, teacher-student, or employer-employee. These relationships have different guidelines for dignity. The relationships we are talking about are people out in the world negotiating life. People chatting on the Internet, attending school, in social situations, in family relationships other than parent-child need to include the ability to say No in their quest for dignity.

When I was a child, daisies and dandelions were my favorite flowers. We lived on a dead end street that ran between the sprinkled lawns of our duplex, and the mod Edsel dealership that lined its shiny, fancy, cars in a row. The pavement was dressed with seismic cracks and yellow dandelions peeking up toward the sky. I remember I would walk to the edge of the pavement, bent from the waist, arms stretched out behind me. Then leaned forward, made a big O with my mouth, drew a gust of air through my lungs and blew out a 'puff' ball.

"Teach only love, for that is what you are." Course in Miracles rnThe Affair rnI'm having a torrid affair! I'm in love! And what an amazing human being this person is! How could I not have recognized how wonderful she is?? rnShe has always been right in front of my nose too! I'm amazing! I'm beautiful, full of life, brilliant, fun and funny, rn                                       loving, thoughtful, sweet. I always give myself just th

Have you ever wondered if seeking help with a mental health counselor/therapist/life coach would benefit you? Many of us think of counseling as only for those who have a mental illness or someone you reach out to only in a crises. Truth is, a therapist or a personal coach can go a long way to ...

Black Lives Matter – From Altruism and Beyond rn Dr. Paul Dunion rnOur streets are talking to us. The talk is loud and mostly true. It says, “Black lives matter”, “Marginalization of some hurts everyone”, “Separation breeds ignorance and fear”, Leadership from ego cannot hold those who are following” and “It’s time to recall the power of kindness and compassion”. rnThese voices can be ignored or they can be heard as a soulful plea for change. The listeni

Menopause can be a difficult phase to go through for any woman. Aside from the thought of dealing with physical and emotional changes, menopause has been a cause of unnecessary confusion and worry to those who are nearing this specific phase because they don’t know how to deal with other symptoms. nnCharacterized by the end of menstruation period, menopause affects every woman differently just like in various biological changes. Common menopausal symptoms include changes in