Browse Self-Esteem and Self Confidence

After struggling mentally and emotionally for quite some time, someone could look for a way to change their inner experience. This can mean that they will look for answers online and/or they could look for a therapist to work with. Once they have found someone suitable, they could arrange an appointment. After this, they could feel relieved and mildly anxious but be looking forward to finally receiving the help that they need. The First part

There can be the life that someone wants to live and then, there can be the life they have. So, they can want to have a life where they are surrounded by people who value and love them, be in an intimate relationship with someone who also values and loves them, and have a career that is deeply rewarding.

What could be said, if a man is overly focused on his mother and unable to live his own life, is that he should stay single. The main reason for this is that as he is not emotionally available, he is not going to be able to fully be there for a woman. Therefore, if he starts dating a woman and this develops into a relationship, he won’t have a great deal to offer. The woman will then have become emotionally attached to him but he will be emotionally and perhaps physically out of reach. A Tough Time

What a man could see, if he is overly focused on his mother, is that his mother undermined both him and his father during his formative years. Thus, instead of doing what she could to build him up and support his father, she did the opposite. After realising this, he could come to the conclusion that his mother had a fear of the masculine. Thanks to this, she did what she could to stop him from embracing his masculinity and caused his father to lose touch with his own. The Outcome

Even though a man will have his own needs and life to lead, based on how he behaves, it can be as though he doesn’t have any needs or only a few basic needs and doesn’t have his own life to lead. Due to this, he is going to neglect himself and his own life will pass him by. It can be hard for someone to comprehend why a man would live in this way, especially as it is not serving him. To use an analogy: it will be as if he has a car and his mother has a car, but he ignores his own car and makes sure his mother’s car is taken care of. Another Part

What someone may find, if they were to step back and reflect on their life is that they don’t have a good connection with how they feel or their needs. They could then see that their life is largely driven by their need to please others and what is ‘right’. Consequently, their life is not going to be a reflection of who they really are. But, as frustrating as it will be and as unfulfilling as their life is, they are likely to find that they can’t just change their behaviour. Inner Conflict

Even though someone will have had a physical birth, it doesn’t mean that they had an emotional birth. When it comes to the former, this is something that would have taken place automatically. However, when it comes to the latter, this would have largely depended on how emotionally available their mother and perhaps their father were. But, even if they didn’t receive the emotional nutrients that they needed for their emotional self to grow and develop, it doesn’t mean that they will be consciously aware of this. Hidden

If a man were to step back and reflect on his life, what might enter his mind is that he doesn’t have a very positive view of women. He could then think about how this is because he has had many experiences with them that haven’t been very positive. So, when it comes to the experiences that he has had, he might have been in a number of relationships that were abusive. During this time, he might have often been criticised, humiliated and even physically harmed. Two Parts

Now that it is clear who the next president of America will be, some people are pleased with what has happened and some are not. This can be seen as a natural outcome as only one candidate can win and not everyone will have voted for the same candidate. When it comes to the people who are happy with what has happened, some of them can believe that this will allow America to be ‘Great Again’. After going in the wrong direction for many years, then, it will start to go in the right direction. Another Position

Even though someone has a thinking and a feeling self, it doesn’t mean that they will be in touch with both of these selves. Instead, they can typically be in touch with the former but not the latter. However, if this is just what is normal, they might not realise that they don’t have a very good connection with this other part of them. Yet, even if they are not aware of this, being this way is likely to have a negative impact on their life. One Part

If a man is overly focused on his mother and is neglecting himself in the process, he might be aware of what is going on. As a result of this, he can do what he can to gradually change his life. This will allow him to live a life that is worth living, as opposed to a life where he has turned his back on himself and is suffering in silence. This won’t be easy but it will be worth it in the long run. Another Reality Alte atively, he can be focused on his mother and neglect himself but be oblivious to this. Due to this, he is not going to be able to gradually change his life.

If a woman is currently with a man who is overly focused on his mother, she could spend a lot of time feeling frustrated, angry, and drained. But, if she has given a lot to him and received very little, this is to be expected. He will be directing most of his time and energy toward his mother and she will be directing most of her time and energy toward him. His mother will then be receiving and so will he, but she won’t be receiving a great deal. Living In the Wrong Way

If a woman were to step back and reflect on her life, what she may see is that when she is dating a man, she has the need to break him down. So, she might see that it doesn’t take long before she is critical, tries to embarrass him and is controlling. He will then be someone who she is supposed to support and love as time passes, but, she will act as if he is her enemy and it is her purpose to undermine him. The man can then be in his power at one point and a shadow of the man he was at another. A Common Occurrence

When a man is around others, it can be normal for him to play a role and do what he can to please them. As a result of this, he won’t freely express himself and his own needs will be overlooked. This can be something that just happens without him consciously choosing to behave in this way. If he is aware of this, he can be fed up with how he behaves and wonder why he is this way. One Area What might soon stand out is that this is how he behaves when he is in a relationship. He could think about how when he is with a woman, he ends up coming across as needless and easy-going.

Nowadays, if a woman wants to be adored and elevated by men, it might not take much effort for her to achieve this goal. For example, she only needs to create a social media profile. By creating a profile or a number of them and uploading pictures of herself, she can end up with hundreds, thousands and even millions of ‘followers’. Now, what can help with this process is if she is physically attractive. Two Sides

After a man has been dating a woman for a little while, he can become emotionally attached to her. However, while part of him can feel comfortable with this, another part of him can feel very uncomfortable. If this other part of him is not as strong, it might not stop him from being able to go in the same direction. But, if it is a lot stronger, it can stop him from being able to go in the same direction. One Outcome

At this point in time, a man could be with a woman who is not right for him. Then again, it could go further than this as he could be with a woman who is greatly undermining him. If this is the case, it can be normal for him to be criticised, humiliated, controlled and even hit by her. This could be something that has been going on for a number of weeks, months or years. Beaten Down There might have been moments when he has stood up for himself and made it clear that how he is being treated is not acceptable. This might not have had much of an effect, though.

Even though one or a number of areas of someone’s life might not be serving them, it doesn’t mean that they will be able to accept this. Instead, they can block out what is going on and continue to behave in the same way. And, if this is what takes place, it is unlikely to matter if there are people in their life who can see clearly. They are likely to dismiss what these people say and even say that they don’t know what is really going on. Another Outcome

If a man, who is in a relationship, were to think about how his girlfriend typically behaves, he could find that she is not very supportive or respectful. He could see that she has been this way for a while. When it comes to how she behaves, what can be normal is for her to be critical and controlling. This can involve her comparing him to other men, telling him what to do, and even moments when she tries to prevent him from seeing his friends and family. A Destructive Influence

If a man were to step back and reflect on his behaviour, what he may see is that he has the tendency to be attracted to women who are not available. So, this can mean that he has dated and been in a number of relationships with women who were out of reach emotionally. Along with this, he may have been with a number of women who were in another relationship and were even married. Also, he may have spent a lot of time trying to make women who were not interested in him, interested. One Conclusion

What someone may find, if they were to step back and reflect on their life, is that they typically act as though they are an extension of others. Therefore, when they are around others, they can to do what they can to please them and be easy-going. They are then going to ignore their own needs and they won’t assert themselves. So, although they will have their own self, it will be as if they are simply there to be who another person wants them to be. A Frustrating Existence

Over the years, a man may have achieved a lot, but, no matter how much he has achieved, he can have the need to achieve more. Now, one way of looking at this would be to say that this is just part of being human. Being driven and having the need to grow and expand is then normal and not something that is pathological. Thanks to what he has achieved over the years, he could be well known and have a lot of money. One Scenario

After a man has come to see that he is caught up in his mother’s world and is neglecting himself in the process, he can end up looking back on his early years. During this time, he can see that his father was rarely around and even when he was, he was rarely emotionally available. He can then come to the conclusion that if his father had been different, his mother would have also been different. Thus, instead of looking toward him to be there for her, she would have looked toward his father. It’s clear

What will be clear, if a man’s life revolves around his mother and meeting her needs, is that he is more like an extension for her than a separate being. Consequently, he will be turning his back on himself. But, although he will be depriving himself by living in this way, this can just be what is normal. If this is the case, he can be oblivious to the fact that he is out of balance and is living in the wrong way. Exte al Feedback

If a man was to look back on his life, he may see that he has been with a number of women who didn’t treat him very well. This could show that he has been in a number of abusive relationships. Now, if he were to think about one of these relationships, he might end up feeling angry and very low. This could take place after he has thought about some of the things that took place. For Example

Someone can be good at something, but that doesn’t mean that they will be able to accept this. When it comes to what this relates to, it can be what they do for a living. Thanks to this, instead of being able to move forward, they can end up staying in the same position. If so, they will have put in the work and be ready to move forward, but they won’t move forward. A Number of Areas Along with what is going on in this area of their life, there can be other areas of their life that are very similar. So, they could be single and question if another person would want to be with them.r

Over the years, a man may have been with a number of women who have let him down and even betrayed him. Thanks to this, he might be very cautious when it comes to women. So, he might keep them at a distance both emotionally and physically or just emotionally. When it comes to the former, he won’t date or share his body with a woman and, when it comes to the latter, he might date but he won’t allow himself to get emotionally close to a woman. Keeping His Distance

When it comes to all of the bad things that are taking place in the world, it can seem as though there is very little that the average person can do. Thanks to this, the only way anything will really change is if the people in power do something about what is going on. Someone can then want to live on a planet that is full of love, peaceful and harmonious, and where everyone is able to meet their basic needs, for instance, but they won’t be able to do much about this. Consequently, they could feel pretty hopeless and helpless. Two Sides

What a man may find, if he were to step back and reflect on how he behaves, is that it is hard for him to stand up for and express himself. In fact, he might see that this is something that seldom takes place. As a result of this, it will be normal for him to be mistreated and to do what other people want. The outcome of this is that he will typically turn his back on himself, which will cause him to suffer. One Area

What someone may see, if they were to take a step back and reflect on their life, is that they have the need to please others. Thus, when they are around others, it will be normal for them to be who they want them to be. Or, perhaps to be more precise, who they think they want them to be. Due to this, they are rarely if ever going to freely express themselves around others. The outcome

What can be normal is for someone to live upstairs, in their head. As a result of this, they won’t realise that they are typically out of touch with a big part of them. This can be how they have been for most, if not all, of their life. However, as they don’t have a good connection with their body, living in this way is going to have a big impact on them. One part So, they are generally not going to be aware of how they feel as this information will be found in their body. This doesn’t mean that they won’t experience anxiety, frustration, anger or feel down, for instance.

What someone may find, if they were to step back and reflect on their life, is that they have the tendency to live a very restrictive life. This can mean that they have had the same job or done the same thing for years, might rarely venture beyond where they live, and when they see their friends, they could typically do the same thing.

One or a number of areas of someone’s life might not be very fulfilling. The reason for this is that they might not have been able to make much progress, with them being stuck at the same level. They might have been in this position for a number of months or years. There is even the chance that their life has been this way for as long as they can remember. One Area If it is one area of their life that is not going as they would like it to go, it can relate to their love life. So, they might have continually ended up with people who were emotionally unavailable and out of reach.

What a man could find is that even though he wants to have a relationship with a woman, he pulls away from a woman as soon as things get serious. Or, perhaps to be more accurate, this happens as soon as he starts to become emotionally attached to a woman. He could then think about all the times that he has walked away from a woman and be filled with regret. What can enter his mind is that if he hadn’t done this, he would be in a serious relationship. Confusion

At this point in time, a woman can be with a man who is overly focused on his mother. She may have been with him for a few weeks, months or even years. Either way, she can believe that if she stays with him, he will change sooner or later. If she has been with him for a few weeks, there is a chance that he will change. Another Reality

What a woman may find, if she were to reflect on her life is that she has been with a number of men who didn’t treat her very well. She might see that this area of her life has been this way for as long as she can remember. Thanks to this, she could come to the conclusion that this is just what men are like. But, if most if not all of the men that she has been with haven’t treated her very well, this is not much of a surprise. The First Stage

If a man is overly focused on his mother and his mother expects him to be there for her, it could be said that they are both out of balance. This is then going to be different to when a man is focused on his mother and his mother wants him to be there for himself and live his own life. In this case, a man will be caring toward his mother but his mother won’t want him to put his own life to one side. Here, there is a chance that he will gradually be able to see that he is ignoring himself and will do what he can to change his life. A Very Different Scenario

What a man may see, if were to step back and reflect on his life is that he is his own worst enemy. So, he could see that he often talks about doing things but seldom takes the next step. Moreover, he could see that he is full of doubt and has the tendency to put up with bad behaviour. As a result of this, he could wonder why he is this way and why he doesn’t act like he matters or has any value. Looking back

Right now, someone could be in a relationship that is anything but nourishing and life-affirming. What can be normal is for them to ignore their own needs and do what they can to please their partner. They can then typically go along with what they want and not speak up if they don’t agree with something. Thanks to this, they will give a lot but they probably won’t receive a great deal. Another Element

From the outside, someone will look whole and compete, but that doesn’t mean they will be whole and complete on the inside. Said another way, it doesn’t mean they will be in touch with all of their consciousness. However, if this is just what is normal, they can be oblivious about what is going on. The outcome of this is that they can have a strong connection with their mind but they can have a weak connection with their feelings and instincts. A Divided Being

What a man may find, if he were to step back and reflect on his life, is that he has the tendency to focus on other people’s needs and to do what he can to please them. This can be what takes place when he is at work, around friends and is in an intimate relationship. As a result of this, he is not going to freely express himself; he will be who he thinks he should be. A number of his own needs are then going to be overlooked, which will cause him to be deprived. Another Part

Even though someone is an interdependent human being, it doesn’t mean that they will act like one. Instead, they can typically act as though they don’t need others and are completely independent. The reason for this is that they could spend a lot of time by themselves and not reach out to others. They are then not going to be interested in having friends or dating, let alone being in an intimate relationship. Another Scenario

If someone were to step back and reflect on their life, what they may find is that it is a very repetitive life. So, they could work during the week, go shopping a few times, watch TV in the evening, and perhaps see a friend or two. Regardless of if they live in this way or a way that is very similar, they won’t experience a great deal of variety. What they can also find is that due to the nature of their life, they don't feel very free. An Analogy

Even if someone’s early years were a time when they were greatly deprived and deeply wounded, it doesn’t mean that they will be consciously aware of this. If they were to think about this stage of their life, they could think about how it wasn’t that bad. They might even have a fairly positive view of their mother and father, believing that they did the best that they could. Additionally, they might believe that this stage of their life is in the past and no longer matters. The past is present

Even though a man’s childhood will be well and truly behind him, it doesn’t mean that he has fully moved on from this stage of his life. As a result, he can be looking for what he missed out on. However, if this is the case, it doesn’t mean that he will be consciously aware of this. He is then going to be unknowingly driven by forces that are outside of his couscous awareness. A Strong Need Now, this may have been a stage of his life when his father wasn’t around or he was around but he was typically out of reach. Either way, he would have been greatly deprived and deeply wounded.

If a woman were to step back and reflect on her life, she may find that she spends a lot of time being there for her father and offering her support. She might see that she has been there for him for as long as she can remember. However, what might now stand out is that although she loves her father and wants to support him, she hasn’t got the desire or the energy to be there for him in the same way. She can see that due to how focused she is on his needs and wellbeing, it is having a negative impact on her own life. Exte al Feedback

If a man were to step back and reflect on his life, what he may find is that he has the tendency to be in relationships that are out of balance. These will then be relationships where he is giving a lot but receiving very little. Thanks to what they have been like, he could be well and truly fed up and even question if he wants to be in another relationship. To part of him, staying single could be the only way for him to avoid ending up in this position again. How It Was

What a man could wonder, if he were to see that he is overly focused on his mother and her needs, is why he is like this. He might see that behaving in this way is causing him to neglect himself and his own life. But, although this will be the case, he could find that he is not able to simply draw the line and spend more time being there for himself. Instead, he could find that he feels compelled to behave in the same way. Stepping Back

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Chelsea Marder, LMHC, CAP is a counseling practice located in Sunrise, Florida. I empower imy client with new life strategies to meet their goals.