Dealing with a divorce is difficult for everyone, including the kids. It is a life altering event that can take a toll emotionally and physically . This is especially true for children. Children need additional support during this tough time. They need to know and understand that it is not their fault and that both parents still love them very much.

You and your soon to be ex are going to have to work hard at putting aside your anger and hard feelings toward each other. If the both of you can sit down and make arrangements for the children, it will be much easier, less painful and less expensive than having to go into court and having the court decide custody arrangements for you. .

You should not keep the divorce a secret from the children. You need to explain to them what a divorce is and what is going to happen. Try to give them some notice and time to adjust before you or your spouse moves out of the martial home. This way the children can have time to deal with it and ask questions. Reassure the children that both parents are still going to be there for them and that the divorce is in no way their fault.

When you talk to your kids about the divorce, do not blame your spouse or badmouth him. It is important that the children know that they still have two dependable and trustworthy parents that love them and will be there to take care of them. Be truthful, but spare the details about the divorce.

Often children will secretly hope that their parents are going to get back together. You want to make it clear to them that you are not going to reconcile, but that you hope to remain friends. Tell them that there is nothing that they can do to change the situation. Also make it clear to them where they are going to live and when they will be able to see the other parent. If your spouse has a new apartment or house, make sure he takes the kids to visit it. This will make it less traumatic for them when they spend their first overnight visit there. Providing the kids with a sense of security is crucial. Give them the opportunity to ask you any questions that they may have.

Giving the child the right information but not too much information is important. You want to minimize their worry and anxiety. Despite your best efforts, expect that your children will go through some rough patches during the divorce. This is a major upheaval in their lives. Children do not like change and it will take time for them to accept this new way of life.

Source: Articles Universe

Author's Bio: 

Christina Rowe is the author of "Seven Secrets To A Successful Divorce-What Every Woman Needs To Know". Find out the survival skills that will save you time, money and heartache during your divorce. For your free chapter of the book go to:


This definition is part of a series that covers the topic of Divorce. The Official Guide to Divorce is Carolyn Ellis. Carolyn founded Thrive After Divorce, Inc. to provide success strategies and resources for separated and divorced individuals. She is the author of "The 7 Pitfalls of Single Parenting: What to Avoid to Help Your Children Thrive after Divorce", which was awarded the prestigious Publisher's Choice designation by her publisher. She is also the co-author of "Power and Soul", with Alexandria Brown, the Million Dollar Marketing Coach. Carolyn is also the host of an award-winning podcast, "The Divorce 101 Show." She is a Harvard University graduate, a Certified Master Integrative Coach™, Teleclass Leader and the first Canadian to be certified as a Spiritual Divorce Coach.

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