The most important part of anger management is self control. A lack of self-control can bring about heavy fits of anger, and these unrestrained outbursts can easily destroy a person’s happy life. Unfortunately, we live in a world that’s far from perfect. All sorts of things can cause us disturbance in a day’s time; anything from a traffic jam, to a painful headache or a misunderstanding with another person.

When we have been provoked (or when we think we have been challenged by someone else), our first reaction is to become defensive. In most people, this defensive mechanism is manifested in the form of anger. We start to react without thinking and may act upon angry thoughts, whether that’s picking a fight, screaming or simply expressing the same angry thoughts we are thinking.

Learning self-control is not un-learning our whole personality, as in, we change our thoughts. No, one who is self-controlled merely holds his tongue and delays doing anything or saying anything prematurely. The person who is holding back may feel very angry and have a strong urge to challenge or respond to another person. However, he or she is determined not to react emotionally, and instead, to think all options through first.

If you can simply learn to wait instead of directly expressing outrage or anger, you could benefit yourself. You don’t have to bury your resentment or forget that you were angered by someone else’s actions—but you can choose to wait before responding and look upon the facts a little more objectively.

Learning self-control involves gaining control over our thoughts, feelings and actions. When we learn self-control we can better take responsibility for our actions, avoid embarrassing ourselves, stop doing things we eventually regret, and save friendships that may be crumbling.

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Posted by:- Angela Smythe,
Contact her: - angela@quotebean.co.uk,
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