How To Be Happy Alone In A Marriage: How To Cure Loneliness In A Marriage

Happy, happy! That is an expression that is often heard these days. It reminds me of the phrase, win, win! In the context of marriage there is a direct connection to this form of positive language.

The writers of the book, The EQ Edge, have found that happiness is the premier ingredient for marital bliss. Authors Stein and Book state, on page 271, that people who are happy in a wide variety of situations can transfer this inner glow to their marriage. The ones who can survive good times and bad, better or worse, can adapt to the challenges of couple-hood. I am paraphrasing this a bit but that is the gist of it.

My memories of being young and looking for a mate are not as clear they were forty-plus years ago, I seem to recall being quite selfish and looking for someone who would always make me happy. Now I know life does not work that way!

Fast forward to 2014 and reality for me is this. Each mate tries to make their mate happy. I try to be fun for my spouse and she tries to but fun for me. Fun, fun!

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Happiness led the list out of 15 components in total, this from Stein and Book. Over 1100 people were asked to rate themselves and this was the result.

There were a number of songs that were written in the last century that still stick in my head and heart. One of these is Side by Side, another is Love and Marriage. More include, Annie's Song, Our House and Unforgettable. The list goes on and on. These songs make me happy. My wife feels the same way.

Emotional self- awareness is vital to the process of two people bonding over a lifetime. Looking out for yourself is a lonely endeavour. That reminds me of another song, One is the Loneliest Number. In fact, that song helped me become a more giving person. A book or a song, they both can assist you in the search for a deeper you.

I think it was about three decades ago that another song came along, Love Can Make You Happy. Great harmonies and nice content. It stayed on the charts for quite a while. The tune made a person feel good about life. A favorite of mine, The Bright Elusive Butterfly of Love, fits in this matrix also. When these songs come on Jukebox Oldies, my wife and I have to sing along!

I feel happy just writing about happy. People need the 'H' factor in their marriage. Happiness is a MUST HAVE.

Happiness is NUMERO UNO for any marriage!

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An interesting study came out recently. Scott Stanley, a psychologist at the University of Delaware, spent the last 15 years finding out why couples who live together before marriage are less satisfied with their marriage and have a greater potential for divorce. This finding flies in the face of the usual positive explanation that living together helps couples get to know each other well.

Co-habitation, or living together, is very common now-a-days with 60 to 70% of couples doing it. One of the findings was that men on average were less dedicated to their relationships if the couple was just living together. When such a couple got married Scott theorizes that the men might not have married their spouse if they had not lived together. He sees the problem as being one of inertia. Once your finances and rest of live are co-mingled it gets harder to break up. Especially if there is also a child involved. Another factor was the desire of one to get married and the other not being so sure.

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There however was a significant difference with couples who lived together after they got engaged. The marital satisfaction of these couples was no different from couples who married but did not live together.
The difference appears to be having made a commitment to each other about spending a future together. The people who lived together before marriage without a real commitment to each other were less dedicated to the success of their relationship.

The best predictor for happiness in a living together relationship comes from making a committed decision to each other. What we can conclude from this study is that what matters is on what basis a couple cohabits. Living together open ended with no commitment to each other can lead to staying in the relationship and getting married more out of inertia or habit than by having made a clear decision. The couples who talk openly about their future and make a commitment to each other statistically have a higher level of satisfaction in their marriage. It doesn't matter if they lived together before marriage or not.

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This relationship advice for women is something that is extremely important if you want your man to stay with you in the long-run. If you are married, this is particularly relevant to you, however if you have been dating your man for more than three years or are on the verge of being asked your hand in marriage, follow this advice carefully. You read the title right: it is important to break your man's heart every now and again if you want your relationship to be strong. Counter-intuitive? Yes, but it won't be after you finish reading this article.

1. What Breaks A Man's Heart

If a man loves you, he wants to protect you for life. However, it's hard to keep up this level of passion and dedication for a long time. 99% of people simply get lazy and always assume that the other person will be there.

Wrong. People need to be reminded all the time that they're wanted. Even if your man tells you that he loves you but hasn't done anything to prove it, you have to show him that you do have the power to leave him at any time. This is what will break his heart.

2. Scare Tactics

Yes, this could be deemed a scare tactic, but if you want your man to always be there and to respect you for choosing him to be with him for life, it has to be done. Note that if you do it simply for the cruel enjoyment of seeing him hurt, he will leave you.

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This should only be done if you sense that he's getting emotionally lazy and not putting in the effort to improve the relationship. If you're married and you've been talking about buying a house together for the last 5 years, this is probably a good time to give him a little jolt.

3. You Don't Need Him

You don't even have to go to the extent of telling him something like, "you know what? Forget about it. I'll find someone else who can buy a house with me." Instead, just tell him that if he isn't going to go help you, you'll go on your own.

We men want to be providers and want to be the ones who buy the house or at least share ownership of it with you. This will crack his heart a bit and make him stronger, since it will make him realise that he has been lazy.

This relationship advice for women is something that benefits long-term couples. If you think that your man is getting lazy, throw his heart around a little bit. It will get stronger as a result and make him treat the marriage with more respect and love.

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In reality, marriage will be difficult at times, but there is available Internet marital guidance and counseling, that can be truly healing and helpful.

It's now a global community, and today we may find many things we need in life online.

Let's face it, conflict and issues become regular things to come across in a marital relationship.

One avenue for help with marital problems to ask for healing suggestions from marriage therapists is online marital counseling, but you will want to be sure they are of the medical professionals in terms of marriage advice.

One among though things to deal with is marital relationship struggles and healing.

At least one ought to seek issue about how to solve it if a problem emerges between the couple.

One ought to seek the option and one among the most effective service is to seek for guidance is from the marriage counselors.

And more so lately, online marital counseling is becoming ever-so-popular, and accepted.

One method to learn and inform the self about real healing is by going to the sessions and being serious for self-growth in your marriage.

You can likewise open up issues so the therapists will offer you guidance on how you can manage your marriage problem well, and rid all conflict within you.

The Course in Miracles states, "How strange indeed becomes the war against yourself!"

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Marriage counseling is a form of confrontation where in the subject is all about marriage.

It is normal for a couple to experience problems in a marital relationship, and this is why therapists are willing to assist them with their concerns.

Counselors can be a good aid to these couples by listening to their issues and providing guidance in which the couple ought to follow in order to maintain a great and harmonious relationship.

You must likewise think about the credentials and certifications of the marital relationship therapists and their online marital counseling courses, so that you may communicate your problems and begin healing.

Of course, to convey trust you should understand the background of your therapists.

From this you will know that the counselor you will be handing over your issues to is professional and will surely help you, in confidence, with your marital relationship issues.

You can likewise try to find online marital counseling professionals who offer totally free marriage guidance to get you started, and then progress forward form there, if you so wish.

There are many online marital counseling and marital therapists who can assist you with your relationship issues, and however will help you feel better as quickly as possible.

The Course in Miracles reminds us by asking and teaching, "Do you want freedom of the body or of the mind? For both you can not have unless you value freedom of mind."

The counselors will likewise go over the different standard arguments about marriage and/or the love relationship.

In a previous session I discussed when a woman sees signs he's not in love in anymore and healing the broken relationship.

If you can not afford to pay for a therapist in your local community, you can utilize online marital counseling therapy to solve your problems with marriage issues.

Online marital relationship counseling is very new in the internet, so guidelines ought to be established.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

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It can be great assistance for those who want to seek for relationship healing, from the best around the globe, but do not have the budget to invest.

Let's face it, hardly anyone can afford to jump on a flight and fly somewhere to see their marriage psychologist on a whim.

In the online venue, everybody with marital relationship issues can simply log on to the particular site and seek assistance.

Counseling is one of the effective methods to save marriages.

Online marriage therapy is made available for you so you do not need to fret about paying dollars for a therapist's couch simply to help you look for options to your marital relationship issues.

Actually, you can be on your own couch in the comfort of your home, receiving the therapy and guidance you need to heal your love relationship.

The crucial thing is the commitment and the self-involvement to yourself for healing, and on to the life you truly want to live.

You will open up your problems so the counselor will give you marriage advice on how you can handle your marriage issues well.

Healing is what is important and is the objective.

Marital relationship counseling is a type of confrontation where in the topic is all about healing relationship struggles.

From this you will know that the counselor you will be handing over your relationship issues to are professional and caring and want the very best for you.

They will connect with you as a friend but on a professional level.

The goal for any good marital psychologist or counselor is to surely help you with your purpose of healing your relationship.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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