Should I Fight For My Marriage: Is My Marriage Worth Fighting For

You've reached a point in your marriage, when you courageously accept that it is at the brink of collapse. "Is there some hope left for this marriage?", you may ask. You may have read countless articles on how to save your marriage, and may have consulted your closest friends on what you need to do to regain the fire that was once in your marriage. This fire, however, is slowly turning into a very small flicker of light, and you have good reason to worry that one day that light will surely die.

Yet, if there is but a little spark left, then it is never too late to work on that tiny flicker of hope to revive your Date nights. Oftentimes, all it takes is a commitment from both you and your spouse to pay attention to what is missing in your relationship and work towards rekindling the love and passion that somehow got buried in the rush of daily life.

If a couple has had rough times together, yet still feel a strong love for each other, then reviving the marriage is never too far off. In the same way that love has brought you and your mate together at the start, love can do that again, although this time it may not be that easy.

It will take some hard work, often in the area of trust and patience. Both partners should decide if they still want to give their relationship another chance, and if the answer is yes, then they should both work towards the goal of reaching marital success.

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There are many ways to bring back love and romance, but here are some of the more basic ones that may get you started:

1. Find quality time for things that matter.

It is easy to get lost in the routine of life, to be constantly fulfilling different roles, other than that of being a wife and a husband. The daily pressures of work and family life can be exhausting, and can make it difficult for partners to find a common time that they can simply call "their time".

However, if you consider your marriage a priority, then you would have to find ways to spend quality time with your spouse. You can hire a babysitter for the night so that you can have a special dinner together. Date nights are important for couples, even after being married for many years. During the day, your spouse would not feel neglected if you can simply call him/her and say, "I love you." Even a sincere text message can do wonders, really.

2. Always keep the lines of communication open.

Master the skill of communicating your thoughts, your emotions, your concerns, your joys and your fears to your spouse. Do not forget that time when you considered your wife or your husband as your best friend.

Remember those nights you had spent talking until you see the sun slowly rising in the early dawn. Those were sweet moments that you need to remember so that you can both nourish the intimacy in your relationship that can only happen if the lines of communication between you and your spouse are always kept open.

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3. Keep your days full of laughter, and your nights full of excitement.

Humor is still the best antidote to stress. There will be times when life becomes too demanding, and there are just too many things happening at the same time. There will also be times when things are not happening as planned. In those days when life's challenges become too difficult to bear, humor will sustain you and your spouse.

Another thing that can really lighten up the load is when you and your spouse can still maintain that intimacy, despite of the daily things that both of you have to overcome. Intimacy is the key to a long lasting relationship. Do not let your spouse find this with somebody else. This is your birthright, one that comes with being married. Find spontaneous ways to bring back romance through simple thoughtfulness. A whisper of love, a short email, an unexpected gift are all simple ways of reviving romance.

Marriage is such a challenge. It takes a good deal of loving, consideration, kindness and patience to make it work, but it will all be worth it in the end. If you feel that your marriage is troubled, do not wait for the time when it is beyond repair. Consult a professional marriage therapist, if necessary and do not give up on it too easily.

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This relationship advice for women is something that should come as an eye-opener, especially if you pride yourself on your good looks. We all know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What is attractive to one man might be a complete turn off to another. Even if a man does find you beautiful, he can very quickly and very easily find you quite unattractive. This comes about from a variety of factors, which I will explain below. It's just very important to realize that there is much more to attraction than what is seen.

1. High Maintenance

We men like attention. We might make it out to seem like we don't thrive on female attention, but even the most aloof guy has to get married some day. As soon as we're married, we expect attention from you.

Women who are too beautiful are basically high maintenance. They focus on themselves and don't give enough attention to the man. They don't care about his issues, his pleasures, his concerns. She just cares about herself.

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2. Who Are You Trying To Impress?

When you are that high maintenance, there is a line where you're trying to impress us, your husband, and when we think that you're still in single mode.

If you're married to us, you do have to keep putting in effort, since it shows us that you want us to still value you and see you as being as beautiful as the day we first met you, but you can relax a bit.

3. Do You Love Yourself?

Women who are high maintenance and too beautiful can either be one of two things: they know what makes them beautiful and are trying to accentuate it or they are incredibly insecure and try to hide their blemishes and put on the impression of being beautiful.

For women who fall into the latter category, you don't really love yourself. You're not comfortable in your own skin. If you can't love yourself, how can you love us? If you can't love us, why should we be married to you?

This relationship advice for women should make a lot of women think about how they approach their "beauty routine" and what they really are doing to themselves. Do you put the effort in to impress us, or someone else? Do you love yourself? If you don't, we're sorry, but we just can't love you.

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When you have made the decision to contact a marriage therapist or counselor, you'll want to consider a few things.

The concern here is, "How to choose a marriage counselor or marriage coaching expert."

The success of your therapy experience will relate straight to your compatibility with your therapist.

There are few things to think about before you contact a marriage counselor.

- Ask yourself why you are seeking advice from a marital relationship therapist.

- Define your issues as best as you can in order to interact them to your prospective therapist.

- Detail exactly what you wish to acquire from therapy.

- Is it important to you that a marriage counselor recognize with the concerns at hand?

- Do you choose a marriage therapist that is wed? Is it crucial that your marriage counselor has raised kids?

- Do you have a choice as to a female or male marriage counselor?

- How far are you going to commute to a marriage therapist's workplace?

- What hours are you offered to devote to counseling sessions?

Choose what you can afford to pay a marriage counselor. There are many concerns you may want to ask a marital relationship therapist with regards to fees, such as:

- How much does the therapist charge per session?

- Does the therapist charge inning accordance with income (moving scale)?

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- Is there a policy concerning getaways and missed or canceled sessions? Is there a charge?

- Will your medical insurance cover you if you see this therapist?

- Will the therapist want you to pay after each session, or will you be billed regularly?

Questions to ask in Family Therapy or Marriage Professional Coaching

Other concerns to bear in mind while searching for a marital therapist you are comfortable with include:

- The number of times a week will the therapist want to see you?

- For how long is a normal session?

- How long does the therapist anticipate treatment to last?

- What are some of the treatment approaches likely to be used?

- Does the therapist accept phone calls at the workplace or at home?

When your best marriage advice therapist goes on vacation or out of town or otherwise unavailable, is there somebody else you can call if an emergency situation develops?

It's best to consider his/her credentials

This led us to open a discussion about even the best marriage advice therapists' scholastic degrees are different. The kind of qualifications may be of value to you throughout your search for the best marriage counselor.

Social Workers use social work theory, knowledge, techniques and principles to boost the functioning or restore (social, psychosocial) of people, groups, households, and couples, in addition to organizations and neighborhoods.

An MFCC therapist has actually earned a Master of Science degree in counseling with a specialization in marriage, family and child issues.

MFCC's are trained to comprehend issues from both specific and household systems point of views; develop intervention skills; incorporate cultural, age-specific, and gender-respectful understanding in theory and practice; and deal with medical, ethical, legal and basic expert elements of their practice.

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A marriage and family therapist has actually earned a master's degree in social work with a particular emphasis on relationships. This professional has an interest in who everyone is within the context of their household, both present and past.

Marital therapy applies healing methods and focuses on issues of human development, interaction skills, and interpersonal relationships.

The LCSW is a state licensure classification for practitioners with a master's or postgraduate degree in social work. Scientific Social Work, a practice specialized of Social Work, uses social work theory, knowledge, approaches, and principles to boost the functioning or restore of individuals, couples, groups, and families, along with communities and organizations.

Call and search the internet Around

Once your search has actually been narrowed to a handful of best marriage advice professionals, pick up the phone or sign up with one on the internet and go for therapy online in the comfort of your own home.

Many therapists will have a short phone consultation or an email questionnaire with you and answer most questions you might have. If you and the potential marital relationship counselor might work well together, the phone consultation is a fantastic way to identify.

Ask yourself why you are seeking the best marriage advice. Is it crucial to you that a marital therapist be familiar with the concerns at hand?

Is it important to you that your marital therapist has raised his/her own kids? Once your search has actually been narrowed to a handful of marriage counselors, take action and get started.

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We all dream at night. Sometimes we remember our dreams and often we forget, but all dreams can teach us something about ourselves. Fortunately, we need not have an M.D. or special psychic gifts to learn from our dreams.

Want to have some fun with your spouse or significant other? Want to talk about something other than kids, schedules, finances, or in-laws?

Try this...

If you remember some dreams, great. If not, when falling asleep, just tell yourself you will have a dream and will remember all its details. Keep a notebook at your bedside. The next time you awaken with a memory of a dream, immediately write it down in detail from beginning to end. Don't wait until later; you'll probably forget the dream entirely or at least some important details.

Dream Exercise

Pick a time when you and your partner can spend a little quality time together. The person who has a dream to share will be the Dreamer, and the other will be the Partner.

DREAMER: Tell your dream to your Partner from beginning to end. It's okay if the dream does not seem complete; even small parts of your dream can be interesting. To help enrich your storytelling, try including some of the following:

What is the main theme or storyline? If you could give your dream a title, what would it be?

What were the major feelings? Anger? Sadness? Fear? Shame? Love? Happiness?

Describe as many details as possible, such as the people, places, things, and actions. Be specific.

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PARTNER: After the Dreamer has told you the whole dream, ask the Dreamer any questions that will help you understand the dream better. Be curious. Then it's your turn to tell the dream. Tell the same dream back to the Dreamer, as if it were your own. Use "I" not "you" when telling the dream. Be sure to be nonjudgmental.

While re-telling their dream, what feelings are evoked in you, the Partner? There are no right or wrong feelings. Tell the Dreamer what you think the dream might mean. What do you see as the main storyline? What "title" would you give the dream? Discuss any special messages you think are in the dream.

DREAMER: After your Partner is finished, discuss with them any new feelings or meanings that were evoked in you. Discuss if this helped you understand your dream better. Would you now change your title?

Did this exercise help you learn something new about yourself or your Partner? As an added suggestion, how would both of you re-write a happy or happier ending to the dream?

Remember to have fun -- together!

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.


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Author's Bio: 

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