How To Deal With Sister In Laws You Don't Like: Sister In Law Relationship Problems

How To Deal With Sister In Laws You Don't Like: Sister In Law Relationship Problems

When you get married, you not only get a spouse but also the in-laws! Often, problems in a marriage are created by issues relating to the spouse's parents.

A marriage is considered to result in a new family with the husband and wife as the nucleus. But the husband's connection with his parents and siblings and the wife's with hers are not cut off. The links will be there for a long time. Sometimes, these links act like strings trying to pull you in some direction you do not like to take. If you try to cut off the link, it will upset your spouse and affect your relationship.

Thus handling the spouse's family members becomes an important issue in many marriages. If your in-laws choose to be assertive, then there will be confrontations leading to misunderstanding and bitterness. Some in-laws, however, are wise and understanding. They will understand you and do things carefully in such a way that you will have no problems in dealing with them.

The irritants from your spouse's family members may arise at various times and on various issues. They will usually advise on how you should take care of your spouse. The advise may be general or in the nature of complaining, implying that you have not been taking care of your spouse as you should be.

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They may try to intervene when you have a relationship problem with your spouse. If their intervention helps in easing the situation, it is fine. But often, it may only exacerbate the situation since they will be inclined to take the side of your spouse and blame you for the situation.

There are three ways of dealing with the interference from your spouse's parents:

1) Grin and bear it:
If you have a sense of humor, you can make light of their advice. You can listen to them, just laugh off their suggestions and do what you want to. They will soon get exasperated and stop interfering.

2) Confront them;
You can tell them frankly that you do not like their interference. They may be put off. Your spouse may also be displeased with you. But if you take a firm stand once, you will be able to overcome this problem once for all.

3) Get the co-operation of your spouse:
You can talk to your spouse and make them understand your situation. If you are able to convince your spouse of the undesirability of their family members' interfering in your affairs, your spouse will talk to them and keep them away.

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It is no use questioning the motives of the people offering advice on marriage, because, since they are close to you, they are probably your friends or relatives, people who wish to see you happy.

Unfortunately, not all these people know you and your spouse well enough, not all of them have the experience required to provide useful advice and what they consider best may not work for you and your loved one.

Of course, some of the pieces of advice you receive may actually turn out valuable, so, how do you know which to follow? Listen to your instincts! Don't worry if it is all too soon, too fast and too blurry right now. Things done in a hurry never pay out anyway.

Chill out, take a day or two for yourself and think things through. You will be surprised to discover what a good night's sleep can accomplish.

Try to leave your anger and frustration aside. True, it is easier said than done, but you need to be objective and evaluate your situation fairly, so you should not let subjective feelings stand in your way.

As soon as you succeed to see things straight, to think everything out cold, to acknowledge your qualities and your faults and accept those of your partner, everything will seem a lot simpler.

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You will realize what you did wrong, you will be able to recognize the advice worth following and you will see clearly what needs to be done in order for your marriage to get back on track.

It is hard to explain in words, but, when you love someone with all your heart, your subconscious learns to know that person, to anticipate reactions, to judge which of your actions will be considered impressive and which not.

That is because love goes beyond reason, it is an instinctive bond, something we cannot control, anticipate or put an end to, it is something stronger than will and desire, something that beats time and rules.

When you love someone, you know it in your heart what it is that makes that person happy, what you should say to make that person smile, what you should do to show that person you care.

Of course, you cannot know everything from the beginning. Love, just like everything else worth living for, takes time and dedication, and, it allows no experts and no failures, just people who love and people who don't.

So, no matter what kind of advice on marriage you need or receive, judge with your heart, let your instincts tell you if it will work or not and everything will be fine in the end!

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Many couples would like to know how to fix a broken marriage. Of course the best way to fix a broken marriage is not to allow it to get broken in the first place. The secret, if you can call it one, is to always remember why you married in the first place. To make a marriage work you have to not only remember the vows and promises you made but to honor them as well. Marriage is not some fairy tale. There will be moments of friction in a relationship. The secret to success is how you deal with this friction.

A successful marriage takes hard work. It takes dedication from both members of the team. The bond of marriage should be sacred. The vows taken should be committed to on a daily basis. One of the major issues that place undesirable stress on a marriage is money. Too often people get married and realize they cannot make ends meet or it is a constant struggle to do so. Once in a marriage you have to find solutions. To find solutions a couple has to communicate.

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Many marriages end up in divorce because the couples could not figure out how to fix a broken marriage. Communication is the key to success. The biggest part of communication is the ability to listen. Listen to what your spouse has to say. Everyone wants to be heard. Most arguments are not really arguments at all just opportunities for one of the spouses to express their feelings.

It is important to be honest with your partner in life. If you want to know how to fix a broken marriage saying I am sorry can be very helpful. Of course you have to mean it. Communicating, listening, being honest and the ability to say you are sorry can help a marriage survive the toughest storm. The ability to compromise is important as well. Take your vows to heart. Work diligently everyday to find the romance that brought you together in the first place and you can fix any broken marriage.

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One of the key theological patterns in the book of Acts, I find, is that of repentance preceding the receipt of the Spirit which precedes the revival of an individual's soul.

Indeed, corporate revival relies on the same concept: repentance of the community that precedes the blessing of God's Holy Spirit on that community which precedes a revival within the culture of the community. Revival relies on repentance.

But what is repentance other than taking responsibility? First and foremost, owning our personal sin.

In recent months I've come to learn much more about the patterns in abuse, as God continues to call and equip me to minister in that direction.

The hallmark difference between someone who could abuse versus someone who does abuse is the taking of responsibility. The perpetrator of the abuse avoids taking responsibility at every turn, and at every cost, and it is debatable whether they genuinely believe they cannot be responsible for abuse, or whether they intentionally subvert any accusations against them. The former is evidence of spiritual deception. The latter is evidence of sociopathy.

The well-rounded conscience receives negative feedback and weighs it for truth, even when it hurts, because negative feedback generally does hurt, and because negative feedback is generally meant well. But the damaged conscience, the seared conscience, has lost the capacity for introspection, or simply insists on not going there.

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The simplest way of saying it is this: the most obvious indicator of an unsafe person is their incapacity for taking responsibility. If their default is to blame others for things they alone have control over, there is a big problem. If this attitude isn't addressed, if there is no hope for repentance, it's only a matter of time before they get themselves into trouble and others along with it.

Relationships fail for the lack of responsibility.

Unsafe people do not take responsibility.

Safe people, on the other hand, walk humbly with God, by being receptive to negative feedback.

I know there have been times when I've been weak, where I have been susceptible to resisting and at times refusing negative feedback, and it has always harmed me, others, and the relationships in view. Nothing good comes from one party or both refusing to take responsibility.

The key task of life is to discern well what we are responsible for, and to take that responsibility.

Taking responsibility is God's decree for our lives, because relationship is the imperative of our lives.

Sometimes we can take too much responsibility, and provided we don't 'enable' an unsafe person we're in relationship with (who does not take their responsibility well), it generally doesn't cause much harm, and it is generally very good for us, because God sees the humility in a person living for peace and blesses them for loving others.

But taking too much responsibility when the unsafe person cannot or will not take theirs just propagates the pattern of co-dependence and abuse. The pattern begs to be broken.

Repentance, we should know, is not a once-in-a-lifetime event. Neither is salvation, because there is a fruit attached. The sign we are saved in the Kingdom of God is the fruit we bear. There must be signs of ongoing repentance and fruitfulness.

There must be signs of an ongoing ability to respond well in our lives.

And the blessing we receive in taking responsibility is we take control of everything we can control, and we surrender control for everything that is beyond our control. And that is wisdom.

What sets those apart who take responsibility? The ability to be honest. Responsibility is the ability to respond appropriately to the truth.

Now Listen Carefully-

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