How To Survive A Separation In Marriage: How To Get Over A Separation And Move On

Unfortunately, many people have to learn how to cope with marriage separation at a time when all they truly want is to save their relationship. If your spouse has decided that he or she needs space and distance, it can be heartbreaking. Knowing that they would rather leave the home, than stay and work on the problems can leave you feeling confused, alone and bitter. Many people mistakenly believe that a separation is the first step towards the end of the relationship. It doesn't have to be. There are several things you can do during the separation that will set the stage for a reunion between you and your partner.

Learning how to cope with marriage separation starts with understanding that it may be a necessary part of reconciliation. When a couple is going through a conflict and they are living together it can be a breeding ground for a great deal of resentment and contempt. If that continues long term it may be impossible to remedy the situation and salvage the relationship. Therefore taking some time apart can actually give each partner time to sort through what they are feeling in solitude. If you are feeling panicked or distressed about the separation, try and consider the fact that it may actually prove incredibly helpful in rebuilding the relationship. Many couples who separate go on to have more loving, committed, balanced relationships.

Always keep in mind that absence often does make the heart grow fonder. If your spouse has some time away from your home to think things through they will be forced to experience life without you. It may seem to them, before the separation that life apart is what they truly want. Once they get a real taste of it, they may suddenly realize they can't live without you. Letting your partner go, during a separation, can make them truly understand the depth of what they might lose. It can completely transform your relationship making it stronger than it's ever been before.

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Things started out well. The initial courtship you and your partner embarked on was a whirlwind of romance, lust and strong friendship. When you both finally said 'I do', it only cemented the incredible bond you shared. Fast forward to now though. For whatever reasons, the marriage simply isn't working. It's decision time - are you going to work to turn things around, or are you going to surrender?

There are probably a multitude of reasons why things are the way they are right now. You may feel that your partner is the main cause of things, but my guess is that you have both played a part. If you can possibly look back and try and see where things have gone wrong, it can be an important first step in terms of what to do next.

Calling it a day and moving on is the easy option, and as you are reading this, I don't think that's what you want to do. You need to work on things from the ground up, completely reinventing the entire relationship in the process. Of course, this is much easier said than done, but if you have the right advice and are guided in the right direction, there's no reason why it can't be done if you want it badly enough.

There are many options available to you. You can of course sit down with your partner and try to thrash out all your issues and concerns. Whilst this is undoubtedly a positive step in the right direction, it can be very challenging because you both have certain beliefs, values and habits. Every human being does. If things are really bad, then I'm afraid the chances of you being able to fix things completely by yourselves are pretty slim. Not impossible though.

The problem with a marriage that isn't working, is that frustration and resentment gradually builds up. This makes it more and more difficult for a couple to be able to think and communicate rationally as time passes. A troubled marriage can be extremely stressful and painful. This is why I suggest you have a shared focus together. What I mean by this is that you make sure you are both singing from the same hymn sheet when it comes to what you are doing on a daily basis to move things forward from the difficult position you currently find yourselves in.

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The elusive perfect marriage - often sought after, but rarely achieved - many people uphold this image in their minds of what marriage is supposed to look like. We humans are smarter now, thankfully. Thanks to advancements in both the medical and psychiatric fields, it's okay to admit that we are not perfect. As such, perfect and marriage no longer need to be in the same sentence. Up until about twenty years ago, when things were far from perfect in a marriage, couples did one of two things: One either suffered in silence or if things were really unbearable, they divorced. But today ways to save a marriage that is otherwise toxic is easier than ever.

What Causes Suffering and Can End in Divorce?

Looking back to your parents' or your grandparents' marriage, things weren't perfect, were they? Dysfunction is hardly anything new. As long as alcohol has been a part of our lives, people have consumed it, sometimes to excess. This is just one example of things that could and have frequently plagued otherwise "perfect" marriages. However, the difference between then and now is that rather than one wishing the other would improve, today ways to save a marriage are routinely implemented. Suffering no longer needs to be a part of a spouse's vernacular. Myriad options are available to couples going through something and so literally anyone can take steps to declaring, "I'm working at saving my marriage," rather than falling further into despair or consider divorce.

What Are Some of the Ways to Save a Marriage?

Thanks to more awareness about everything - be it medical or psychiatric - seeking help for individual problems is easier than ever. The stigma attached to having mental illness continues to diminish as society evolves. When individuals get better, ways to save a marriage become more possible and pessimism can be replaced with optimism.

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Whether one or the both of you needs counseling, it's worth a shot to consider it an option. Maybe, it turns out, that one of you is bipolar. Let's say it's your husband and he's been self medicating, unaware that there was a problem with his mental state. In your parents' generation, he would have continued drinking to quiet his mind. Today, because you are looking for ways to save a marriage - your marriage, seeking help can be the salvation you need.

Other ways to save a marriage can include taking a trip together. Sometimes rediscovery and time away without the kids and stresses of life can do wonders and can be a quick fix.

Believe it or not, sometimes taking a break from one another can be an option in how to save a marriage. Thinking back to one spouse having as yet unresolved issues, giving him or her time to heal, decompress and "get right" mentally can allow you both to reunite and can be one of the ways to save a marriage.

Maybe in learning about how to save a marriage, you learn some unrealized things about you. Although your goal might be saving my marriage, you may just discover things about yourself you never knew.

Take Things As They Come

Given that you are not your parents or your grandparents, suffering in silence no longer needs to be an option. Whatever your problems, most are not insurmountable. Give yourselves the time, patience and space you need to find ways to find what ails you. If you are one of the tons of people who walk around obsessed with the goal of "saving my marriage," don't be your parents. Get help and then you can impart your wisdom to others about ways to save a marriage.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

If your marriage has gotten to the point where you feel every cell of your body screaming, "Stop my divorce now!" then it's time you took some action and worked on stopping your divorce so you don't have to end your marriage.

Breathe deeply because you are not alone in this. In fact, not only are you not alone, but there are lots of people who were once in that very position you're in, and they managed to save their marriage and live happily together again.

There are simple actions you can take to prevent a divorce and fix some of the problems you're having before they become irreparable because ending your marriage should be an absolute last resort.

The first thing you need to do is to be realistic and keep in mind that although you can do everything in your power to save your relationship, you might find yourself in a position where there is nothing more you can do. Prepare yourself for the worst just in case. I'm not telling you to lose hope, just be realistic about your situation.

Once you've made peace with that thought, it's time to take some action resolve your marital problems.

Seek Out the Help of a Marriage Counselor or Family Therapist

Find yourself a marriage counselor or a family therapist. This type of person is trained and has experience with helping people through the exact situation you're in. For example, if there is adultery involved, they can serve as a medium between you and your spouse in order to constructively voice what you both want and need to say.

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Many marriages have been saved this way. Counseling and therapy can help combat marriage issues like infidelity, depression, fighting and all other marital problems. They're able to help bring a marriage back even when you're on the brink of divorce.

Although marriage counselors and family therapists can be extremely costly, you can find yourself affordable ones as well and remember that this is going to be cost-effective in the end if you can save your marriage before you get to the point where you have to hire divorce lawyers.

Refrain from Arguing

Make it a point and put forth as much effort as is necessary to stop arguing with your spouse. Arguing never helps any situation and although it's easier said than done, it's just a fact - you learned this in kindergarten.

If you're arguing, you're trying to make each other feel differently than you really do and this is just mild manipulation that doesn't get you anywhere. If you're really looking to "Stop my divorce!" then you need to remind yourself that you're not fighting your spouse, you're fighting for your spouse.

When it gets to be too much and your blood is boiling, just remember that the more you point out where they're wrong, the more they will become wrong to you in your mind, whether they really are or not.

If you're having a discussion and you feel they're in the wrong, rather than trying to convince them of their fault, try to find some truth in the argument and agree upon it. The more things you can find to agree on, the more you will help them see that you're willing to compromise. That will then make your spouse more willing to see your side of the story, which can eventually lead to both of you seeing the positives in each other.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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