Husband Chose Another Woman Over Me: Why Does My Husband Want To Sleep With Another Woman

I sometimes hear from people whose spouses have admitted (usually during an argument or fight) that they have thought of seeing other people. And the spouse who is on the receiving end of this revelation can often wonder what this means for their marriage. I heard from a wife who said: "I will admit that my marriage has been going down hill for the past several months. My husband is distant and always seems angry. A couple of days ago, we were arguing once again when he blurted out 'what happened to us? Our marriage is awful. I almost can't even stand to be in the same room with you anymore.' I was momentarily stunned. I asked him if he was saying he wanted a separation or a divorce and he told me that he didn't know but that he often thought about both of those things. And I asked what other things had he been thinking about. It only got worse from there because he said that he'd been thinking about seeing other people. I asked him if he had a specific woman in mind and he said that he didn't but that he thought that seeing other people might give him some perspective on our marriage and if he wants to fight for it or not. I'm really beside myself about this. What does it mean when your spouse freely admits that he's been thinking about other people?" I'll try to answer these questions in the following article.

This Admission Should Be A Huge Warning Sign That Inspires Immediate Action: I know that these words are probably devastating to you. But, believe it or not, there is a silver lining here. Some spouses won't admit to wanting to see other people until they are already having an affair, or have arranged to file for a divorce. In other words, sometimes you won't get this little warning until it is already too late. However, this wife was at the point where her husband was still living with her, wasn't initiating a divorce (yet) and was giving her a huge heads up. Although this might night feel like an advantage to her at this particular time, it most definitely was.

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Because at this point, she still had time to make saving her marriage a huge priority. Admittedly, the husband said he was still deciding whether he wanted to fight for the marriage, but nothing said that she couldn't fight for her marriage all on her own. It was likely that this wife knew what issues were the most troublesome to her marriage and she had the power to begin to really address them once and for all.

His Thinking About Dating Other People Could Mean He's Evaluating If He Would Be Happier Single: Many wives in this situation will assume that their husband has a specific woman in mind when he utters these words. This is certainly a possibility, but it isn't always the case. Sometimes, he isn't thinking about in one in particular. Instead, he is wondering if he would generally be more happy with his life if he were single and not dealing with the drama that has become prevalent in your marriage. So, you have to decide how high a priority your marriage is to you. I know that this wife said that her marriage had been deteriorating for some time. This tells me that no one has really taken very decisive and sustained action to stop this spiral once and for all. So while you still have the time, it's important that you understand that taking quick action might be the difference between saving your marriage or not. Because once a spouse starts seeing other people, saving your marriage becomes much more complicated.

How To Best Respond To This: The wife was at the loss as to how to respond. She was incredibly shocked and quite angry. While this is understandable, it's very important to remain calm. But at the same time, you need to let him know that his cheating on you (because that's what seeing other people would be) is not going to be accepted. A suggested response might be something like: "well, that hurts me very much because it tells me that your commitment to me and our marriage is wavering. I want to fight for our marriage but that's going to be very difficult if you're cheating on me. I'm asking you to remain faithful while we work together to save our marriage. I know that things have been rough for the past few months, but neither of us have been trying very hard to make real changes. I am committed to doing just that but I need your cooperation. I know that if we work together, we can bring back the happiness and fun in our marriage so that neither of us would need to look elsewhere. I want to bring the spark back so that we can have fun again. Will you help me make that happen?"

I find that if your conversation can show a husband what is in this for him, he will cooperate more. Often, if you hint that you will have fun again and he will get more physical intimacy, he is much more likely to be cooperative than if you focus more on how he has hurt you or on what you feel he is doing wrong.

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With more than half the marriages today ending up in divorce, now more than ever, it's critically important to know how to make marriage work for you. Just how much effort is involved? Is it difficult, you might ask.

Here's the thing. Your marriage could be the best decision you've ever made in your life. Won't you give it your best shot?

If you're up to the challenge, here are 5 "how to make marriage work" tips:

1. Make a commitment to make it work

If you're half-hearted about your marriage, you will end up with a half-baked relationship. Like all good things in life, it requires your commitment to put in time, effort, nurturing.

This is not to say you have to be obsessed about it all day. But do be aware that you need to spend time with your spouse, work things out, focus on things or activities that make the relationship better and grow over time.

2. Treat your marriage like a team sport

If that's too casual for you, then think "business partnership". A good marriage involves two people coming together, planning ahead, identifying what works, what doesn't, working though obstacles, putting in the time and effort, heading out into the game (or the real world) together, and sticking together no matter what comes.

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3. Don't underestimate any problem that crops up

While you don't want to turn every molehill into a mountain, be sure to assess each issue or problem area that arises. Many couple let things fester. So much so that a small problem, that could have been solved with 5 minutes of discussion, turns into grounds for divorce.

Address everything that comes up. Find a solution or a compromise. Just don't ignore it.

4. Talk, communicate, share

The most important thing you could probably do for your marriage is to talk to one another. Discuss things, share experiences, complain (about other folks!), even argue with each other. Couples who stop talking will find that their marriages don't last.

5. Build a house (a strong marriage) on a strong foundation

As a couple, spend time thrashing out your views, values, attitudes towards things that will affect you together now and later in life. Figure out how you both feel about children, parents, jobs, politics, the environment, and everything else. The more you understand each other, the stronger the foundation upon which you can build your marriage. If learning how to make marriage work is important to you both, start by building a strong base.

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The need for marriage counselling arises from the problems that occur in an intimate or in an adult relationship that can be sexual. Marriage involves intimacy as well as trust. It is not just about signing documents saying that you are married. Marriage takes a lot of work.

When this marriage relationship ends, our happiness and health also suffer. When this major relationship fails, we also fail in our self-worth and in our sense of being.

Signs that indicate a failing relationship are communication problems, sex issues, unresolved arguments, violence, depression, health problems and broken trust. These are just signs and they may seem like not huge issues. However, if you do take a closer look, you may come to realize that such are really signs that your marriage is failing. That is why it is important to assess your marriage every now and then and see if these signs are showing up.

Relationships normally go through restrains and problems. Yet there is a certain moment of marriage difficulties when couples will need the help of a professional to give them marriage counselling. Yes, you may say that you can resolve things on your own. However, these professionals who do marriage counseling sessions have gone through training and have the experience to help you out. They will serve as the person with an objective point of view regarding your marriage.

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The right time to see a counselor is when trust has been betrayed such as keeping of secret, being seriously indebted or being involved in an affair. When you speak with your spouse and confusion arises, when anger becomes too hard to handle, that is when counseling is needed.

You should know that you and your partner also require professional counseling when you consider only divorce or separation as your lone option; when your desire or passion is already gone; when it seems to you that you no longer enjoy sexual intercourse with your spouse; when arguments simply just go endlessly each time that you see each other.

It is best that you and your spouse go together for counseling except when there is already domestic violence involved in the marriage.

It is an unrealistic perception that arguments in marriage are avoidable. Instead, what you will need to base your relationship onto is the capacity of you and your partner to manage and deal with conflicts and issues. While it is true that two people in marriage has a different set of beliefs and principles from the other, what they need is to develop certain skills in order to meet a compromise and agreement in order to hear and understand each other's side.

Skillfully carrying out and dealing with arguments can make for a healthy relationship. In counseling, you would be able to understand the underlying causes and messages of marital conflicts.

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Have you recently been told by your spouse that the marriage is over? If you are trying to save a failing marriage I'd like to share some tips that I nearly learned the hard way. When your spouse has already said "I want out", you need to plan your next moves very carefully.

There are numerous ways you can screw this situation up and make it worse if you commit some of the most common mistakes. Here is a list of things that you must try and avoid doing:

- Promising you will change

- Begging relentlessly for one more chance

- Resorting to anger

- Arguing

- Constant phone calls, messages or texts

- Threats of any kind

- Sending gifts

- Using drugs or alcohol to ease your pain

- Having a fling or affair to get revenge

Saying "But I love you"

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Some of these are pretty obvious. Others are not quite so obvious and might even seem like sincere and wise moves when hit with the devastating news that your spouse wants a divorce. However, all have been shown to be counter-productive and actually tend to push your partner further away. These tactics, make you appear desperate, needy, unbalanced, vengeful, selfish and basically pathetic. Sorry to say this but you deserve the truth.

Would you like a better way to save a failing marriage? What if I told you that traditional marriage counseling has about a 20% success rate but I can show you a way with a nearly 90% success rate; even when one spouse wasn't interested in saving the marriage. People using this technique have literally called off divorce proceedings!

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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