Husband Wants A Divorce But Still Wants To Be Friends: Being Friends After Divorce - Read This Now!

Are you caught in a dilemma? Are you one of the women saying, my husband wants a divorce? Do you say yes to him or do you want to save your marriage? Just like any other women, you probably don't want to have a divorce even if your husband wants to. You can help save your marriage if you want to. But it has to require a decision and drive to make things better. Here are some things that you need to do to help save your marriage.

Tip # 1: Cut off your extra-marital affair.

One of the reasons as to probably why he wants a divorce is because you cheated on him. You may have slept with his best friend or the guy you know from your work. He may have caught you in one way or another. Don't say that it's just sex. He loves you and he got hurt when he knew that you were having an affair. Not only are his emotions hurt but his ego as well. You need to stop communicating with the man you've cheated with. You can start by deleting his number in your phone; delete all the emails that he sent you and such.

Tip # 2: Ask for forgiveness.

The best thing you need to do after an affair is to apologize. Apologize to him sincerely. Tell him that you still love him and he means the world to you. Apologize for your shortcomings. You do have to understand that he won't forgive you right away. It may take time before the whole thing sinks in. So long as you mean what you said when you asked for forgiveness then he will forgive you.

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Tip # 3: Get the chance to talk to him.

If there are other reasons as to why he wants a divorce then ask him to sit down and talk with you. Don't be too vigilant and hostile. Let him do the talking. Let him tell you the reasons as to why he is not happy with his marriage. Understand what he feels. Don't get mad at him because it's his opinion. Just be prepared to hear all the negativity. What you need to do here is to understand him and feel the compassion.

Tip # 4: Do something.

Your husband wants divorce and you don't want to. What you need is to do something about. Now you know the reasons as to why he wants a divorce, you get a head start on counteracting the things he said. If you have not been having sex lately then it's about time that you should. You need to fit in sexy lingerie. But first, you need to lose weight a little. Take your kids to your parents. Have the night all to yourself and your husband. Have some romantic dinner. After that, tease him with what you are wearing. He'll surely think twice about that divorce. If the problem is your attitude, then you need to somehow change. If he says you are always nagging, you might want to zip your mouth. Instead of nagging, say something appreciative.

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Before the darkness of the night puts her into pensive mood, she looks at the ring around her finger. She was sitting at the porch, at the exact place where he proposed. No, it wasn't like the movies. He brought nothing else to make the ambiance more romantic but still, she found it the sweetest thing he had done for her. But as she gazes back at the ring, tears rolled down her cheeks. They've had big fights recently. Musing on his gestures, justifications and preferences, she concludes, "My husband wants a divorce."

Resorting to freedom is quite tempting. But a wife who values the sacrament of matrimony will ask herself how she can satisfy her husband in different ways. In evaluating her role in their union, she must answer the questions stated below.

Do you appreciate him for being a good provider?

Men have always acted as providers. Even in ancient times, they go out and work as great providers. Presently, with our gender fair programs, it may not be as emphasized as before but still, they would like to attain that feeling of accomplishment and pride for attending to the needs of his loved ones.

Do you understand his silence?

Women tend to talk much more than men. When they are tensed, problematic or in deep thought, they need space and silence. Though this gives women a shot of paranoia, they'd like some time on their own. If he's not interested in lengthy conversations, let him be. Though he isn't verbally communicating, he is still thinking.

Do you directly say what you want?

Men and women are not alike with the way they communicate. The former say the exact words while the latter find it hard to get to the point. This unlikeness causes serious arguments and worse, it makes some wives say, "My husband wants a divorce." Refrain from making long introductions or from letting him read between the lines always. Cut your introductions short and don't let him decipher your coded words. As much as possible, get straight to the point. Don't forget to keep your tactfulness by your side.

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Do you initiate lovemaking from time to time?

Let's face the fact that sex is important for men. Women who are boring in bed disappoint them. If you're not in the mood, explain it to him gently and he will understand. Further, men don't want to control the situation all the time. At times, they want their partners to be in control of the situation. By the way, men love sexy underwear.

Do you encourage him to meet up with his buddies?

Like women, men need the company of friends. They enjoy exchanging ideas about sports, cars, art and current events while drinking beer to explore the world outside his home and work. Don't be upset if he spends time with his buddies. If you do, it sends him the message that you're controlling his life.

Do you make yourself appealing for him?

After working hard at the office, your husband wouldn't want to see his wife in ugly clothes. Men want their women to be their prettiest trophy so mind the way you physically project yourself. However, don't get too obsessed with your looks as it turns them off. Just keep yourself clean, choose clothes that look good on you and make sure you are beautiful in his eyes.

A wife who's caught up with a my-husband-wants-a-divorce issue will find the answers to these questions helpful in coming up with ideas on how to save their union. Talk to him about it. Say sorry if you made mistakes against his nature in the past. If your husband truly cares for you, he will understand you don't want to end your relationship. Expectedly, he must meet you halfway. Love is not a one-way street after all.

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Rage is one thing that appears so often when we see couples that are trying to save marriage relationships that are no longer what they had been. Unfortunately, most of the people will not know very well what rage is and what actually happened. This leads to a lot of extra problems, lack of communication and an eventual splitting up. The good thing is that you can easily avoid this. Let us talk about frustration, pain, and fear in order to determine what the connection is between them. This is very important in most relationship that you have with a person and is vital in marital relationships.

Why is It That Individuals get Angry?

The solution to this query essentially demonstrates to you the bond between your elements mentioned above and can save marriage circumstances that seem impossible to save. You have to remember the reality that anger appears as a result of agony or anxiety. It is a secondary psychological response that merely appears as a way to protect yourself against something. Just think about what happens when you break a bone. At first, you will end up angry that you did something wrong, someone did something like that caused that broken bone. Only after that you realize the truth and you can make peace with what in fact takes place.

In the course of professional save marriage counseling sessions, you are told that the first thing that you need to do when you feel anger is to calm down. You will need to comprehend the fact that your partner is angry because of an underlying reason that you might not understand initially. He/she may be scared, hurt and maybe even both. This idea enables you to determine what is really wrong but you can't do that if you are angry.

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The Value of Understanding Pain and Fear

If you want to correctly cope with save marriage circumstances, it is essential that you comprehend why the partner is scared, hurt, is afraid or feels pain. The truth is that when a person attacks you with anger, he/she is really in a defensive state that comes out as a normal psychological response. If a total stranger comes to you with anger, you will probably begin to defend yourself but when the loved one does that, you have to open up. The spouse is actually telling you that there is hurt, pain, fear and an emotional reaction that is difficult to bear.

You can save marriage situations that appear to be impossible to save if you just consider the time required to know very well what the partner is really trying to tell you through an anger fit. Now you know that the partner is not in fact attacking you but telling you that he/she is hurt, it's about time to show them that you understand. Compassion is certainly something that can help and you will be surprised to see how easy it is. If you really love the individual you are with, it is impossible to not have compassion when the spouse is hurting.

The next time you see your partner angry, you can save marriage difficulties by merely listening and focusing. When you know very well what is completely wrong, you can solve any difficulty and you can have a long life together.

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We have been certain that you presently heard how good marriage counseling can be for a couple that is having relationship problems. Sadly, while many individuals know that these kinds of sessions are advantageous, most are unacquainted with a very important fact - to make changes in a romantic relationship you should actually change something. This really is something that is quite complex meaning that nobody truly understands what to really expect until faced with the situation.

Defining Changes

This is significant since the majority of individuals see change as giving up on something they like. That is by no means the case in marriage counseling. Actually, advising has one of the many targets of reaching a predicament in which both spouses are pleased. How could you be happy if you give up on something you enjoy? Some improvements may very well be needed by the partner but the other partner cannot make such a change. In this case, in case you are seriously interested in protecting your marriage, you need to you should consider letting go of something that you like for the common good of the couple.

We can define a modification of a marriage as a compromise that is mutually reached. That is how we need to look at things. It is never about giving up something that we love. It's all about making compromises and selecting to do something that we like less but that helps the couple to be stronger.

By way of example, let us think about consumption of alcohol. If one spouse is tormented by the other one drinking too much, the solution is usually to give up on the vice. You may see that as impossible if you really love drinking but you can do such a change for the person who you care for and you will not see it as an encumbrance as making the other person happy will definitely make you smile.

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What Improvements After Marriage Counseling?

There are lots of items that can transform after you attend several marriage counseling periods but some facts do show up more often than others. For instance, it is very common that the couple comprehends several things about themselves and about the partner better. This basically signifies that you get to know yourself better as well as learning new things about your spouse.

It is usually common that we end up understanding what the hot buttons of the partner are. These could be identified as buttons that will lead to fighting when pushed. When we see invokes, we can avoid them in the future. This gets rid of a lot of fighting and will make your relationship far better.

The last typical fact that changes and that we want to mention is the knowledge of what being a couple actually implies. Most relationships today derive from individualism and not on the actual connection between two citizens. Through marriage counseling you can find yourself learning how you can fight as a couple and how to tackle all possible problems together rather than accusing the spouse.

The end result is that changes always happen after marriage counseling if you choose a decent counselor, the progress is for the better. You can work through anything if you know what you should do!

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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