I Am So Unhappy With My Marriage: I Love Him but I'm not Happy Anymore

You feel a kind of depression when you have to go back home every day to see your spouse. "I am so unhappy with my marriage, should I stay or leave?" This is a question that you will never fail to ponder each day. The unhappiness in your marriage is strong, but you do not know what to do. You probably had wished for knowing the answer to stay happy in this unhappy marriage, maybe even think of getting a divorce to end everything. What should you do?

I am sure your marriage has left you feeling worn out and sad, that is why you are here to read this page. The first step to gain joy back to the marriage is to find out what is worth for you to stay in this relationship. If you have the slightest unwillingness to give up your marriage, this mean there is definitely a worth point for you to save your marriage. However, get out of your marriage immediately if you are being abused constantly.

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I believe you have been attempting to change your spouse to someone you hope for. If it never works, let go of trying because the processes will make you to feel tired and upset. Asking you to let go of trying does not mean you should give up, instead you should focus on something else to occupy your mind from thinking about these problems. Find a hobby, go for a holiday break, learn a new sport like yoga, boxing, etc. When you start to divert your attention, you will realize it is easier to control your mood.

Lower your expectation. If you put on pressure by focusing on the result you want and when things does not go on smoothly to what you expect to be, a problem will form and you will begin to feel bitter about it. That is why asking you to let go of trying will prepare your mind to be more acceptable about the situation. When you let loose on your side, your spouse will also feel lesser pressure and frictions.

Begin to look for the positive side in your spouse. Start to think of what made you fall in love with him. Let him know what you see and how you feel good about him being this way. Try to fondly remember the times together with him through small talks and gestures, this will make him think back of the good old days.

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Divorce is difficult enough when both spouses are in favor of it. It can be an overwhelmingly devastating experience though for the spouse who didn't see it coming or doesn't want it to happen. If you want to know how to save a failing marriage when you are facing divorce, then you will need to take action now!

Are you doing the right things to save your marriage? Or are you like many people, who, despite their best and most sincere efforts, are actually driving their spouses further away? Truth is, very few people really know what it takes to save a marriage when they are facing a divorce that they don't want.

I speak from experience on this very subject. I was once faced with a divorce and never saw it coming. My wife and I were talking one afternoon and she informed me that she believed the marriage was over and had decided to file for divorce. Words cannot describe the hurt and fear I felt. I was completely unprepared to handle news like this and to be honest I didn't have the slightest idea what to do!

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I then proceeded to make a series of critical errors which I later learned are the typical responses that people facing an unwanted divorce make. They turned out to be basically the complete opposite of what I should have been doing! The net effect was to push my wife further away, despite my sincere and passionate attempt to save my marriage. It was awful!

Then something happened to us that was nothing short of a miracle and it would change our lives forever. It wasn't rocket science, but it involved my willingness to admit that I was going about saving my marriage in the wrong way, that I must be willing to accept the right kind of help, I must get myself in a more resourceful state and I must be willing to take action!

I learned that to save a failing marriage when my spouse wasn't interested in saving the marriage would involve a series of steps that would turn conventional counseling upside down, but that it had worked for nearly 90% of the couples who had tried it, versus the 20% success rate of traditional counseling.

Next, click here now to find out why your spouse is lying to you about the reasons they want a divorce. Follow the information step by step and you will discover the truth, cut through the lies and pain, stop divorce dead in its tracks, and rebuild the strong, intimate marriage you've always wanted... even if your spouse doesn't want to!

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Have you ever wondered how to stay married when all around you, one out of every two marriages eventually end up in divorce? The answer is to make sure you don't fall into two very dangerous mindset traps. What are these traps that will defeat even the most valiant attempt to address the question of how to stay married?

The Mindset That Divorce Is Always A Solution

No doubt that a key problem that leads to so many divorces is the very thinking that divorce is always an easy way out. How many friends do you know have said "well, I'll marry him/her, but if things don't work out, we could always get a divorce".

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The Mindset That A Failing Marriage Is Too Hard To Save

Is it just me or are people giving up on marriage too easily? Very often, you'll find people who want to back out of marriage the moment the going gets rough. Everything in life worth having requires work. Marriage more so than other things. If you are currently thinking of giving up, don't believe for a second that a failing marriage is hard to save. Of course, it won't be easy, but it's not rocket science once you figure out how and actually put in the effort

If you're ready to cast aside these two very dangerous misconceptions, then your next step is to make the effort to look into ways to save your failing marriage and address the challenge of how to stay married. There are countless resources -- books, counseling, the Internet is a very rich source so get to it.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

I sometimes hear from wives who are very confused about their husband's conflicting behavior during a martial separation. Often, he is the one who initiated the separation and it seems as if he almost can't wait to leave. But as soon as the couple are living apart, suddenly the husband wants to keep tabs on the wife or seems particularly interested in her day to day activities.

I heard from a wife who said: "my husband has been wanting to separate for a while. I tried my best to talk him out of it, but after listening to him insist upon it for months, I finally gave in and agreed to go and live with my sister for a little while. Since he was so anxious to get rid of me, I really didn't expect to hear from him, although I knew that I would miss him terribly. I've been gone only two days, but now he is constantly calling me and wanting to know what I'm doing. I will answer the phone and the first thing he says to me is 'what are you doing' in an almost accusatory way. The truth is, I'm not doing anything and I tell him so. Why does he even ask? He couldn't get rid of me quickly enough and now it's like he wants to keep checking on me. What is going on?" I'll try to answer these questions in the following article.

He May Just Be Missing You: Men often envision having all kinds of peace and quiet so that they can think. But, sometimes this just isn't the reality. Sometimes all that silence brings about is loneliness. And then he can start to wonder if this was such a good idea after all. And he looks around and notices that everything around him reminds him of you. Now, it might make things easier if he would just tell you all of this, but many men will not. Instead, they'll call you and do annoying things like asking what, or how, you are doing.

He Might Be Feeling Insecure: It's very common for separated spouses to admit that they at least partly suspect that their spouse might eventually see other people during the separation. Your spouse might be acting on this suspicion or just looking for reassurance, which leads me to my next point.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

He's Trying To Determine Your Frame Of Mind: It's common for the spouse who initiated the separation to have a strong suspicions that you are going to be resentful and angry. Therefore, he might want to keep in close touch to gauge your feelings. He may want to see if your resentment is going to drive you away. And he may be feeling some remorse for his actions.

Taking Some Positive Implications From These Annoying Questions: I know that this is probably very frustrating. But there is some positive indications here. If he didn't care at all, he wouldn't be calling. If he wasn't thinking about you at all and was living it up and celebrating his freedom, he wouldn't be calling either. And since this wife didn't want the separation in the first place and wanted to save her marriage, this was hopefully good news to her.

How To Respond When He Keeps Calling And Asking What You're Doing: First, you have to decide what you really want to happen. And ultimately, this wife wanted her husband to come home. I know that it's tempting to say something like 'well what do you think I'm doing? I'm sitting here staring at my sister and living in a strange place because you made me leave my own home for your silly separation,' but this is a bad idea. Because you don't want to discourage him from reaching out to you. Instead, you want to make him want to check in and initiate contact with you. So, as difficult as it may be, try to sound as upbeat as possible. Trying to make him feel guilty is the wrong call too, because it brings about pain and makes him want to avoid you. With that said, you don't want to make it sound as if you are sitting by the phone waiting for his call. You want for him to know that you have too much self respect for that.

An appropriate response might be something like: "not much. I'm just spending some time with my sister. We'll probably go out and grab some dinner in a little while. What are you doing?"

Notice I was light hearted and I turned the question back to him. And I alluded to the fact that no one was sitting around waiting. By asking what he was doing, you're leaving it open ended for him to share his feelings. He might say that he's not doing anything because he's lonely. Or he might say that what he's really doing is missing you. The point is to not engage with him and don't ask him why he keeps calling you with his silly questions. Try to stay positive because this really is a good sign. It means he is interested and that he is reaching out. And not all separated spouses fall into this category. Some husbands rarely call their wives at all, let alone care about their experiences or feelings.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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