Imposters

Get Real: Unmasking the Eight Imposters that Hinder Your Success
By Lisa Haisha

Have you ever wondered why your life is the way it is? Why certain challenges constantly plague you? Why you make certain decisions in the midst of stress? Why you attract certain people in your life? The answer may lie in the imposter that resides within you.

We all have an imposter or two (or three) that controls us. The imposter personality consists of the fears, old beliefs, and habits that prevent you from achieving your highest personal and professional success. When you’re not under stress or people aren’t “pushing your buttons,” your imposter may be dormant or minimally apparent. However, once a challenge arises or someone provokes you, the imposter often controls your reaction…and usually in negative ways. That’s why so many people make poor choices during times of stress and often face the same scenario repeatedly – their imposter leads them there.

While you can’t eliminate the imposter from your life (it’s part of your personality), you can be aware of it and minimize its effects on you. That way, when you’re under stress you can identify the imposter’s response and take control of it rather than have it control you. When that occurs, you’ll be operating from your authentic self and can realize your greatest potential despite the current situation.

Following are the eight imposter personalities and how they manifest in people. Determine which sound the most like you so you can take the first steps toward your authentic self.

• The Clown
Often, the Clown stems from someone who didn’t feel seen or heard as a child. As a result, they try to make light of things to get attention. They are often scared of disappointment, avoid deep intimacy, and crave approval. Because of their light-hearted approach to life, they usually don’t give proper maturity to discussions that demand maturity, which usually works against them. Their focus is on being liked rather than being real.

• The Counselor
The Counselor results from an emotional pain that someone has been masking for a long time. They pretend the hurt doesn’t exist in their own life, and instead they study it and want to help others deal with it. As a result, they often approach love and life as a clinical experience and not as a real and emotionally driven journey. They’re great at telling everyone else what to do but they can’t seem to get their own life together. They tend to be emotionally distant and view matters of love and life as puzzles to be solved rather than as experiences of the heart.

• The Fixer
The Fixer is very similar to the Counselor in that the person wants to help others. But while the Counselor often goes the professional, academic route, the Fixer is more like a gossipy interloper. They like to surround themselves with people who need a lot of help, and they feel wounded or slighted when those in their life don’t seek them out for advice. Their sense of self-worth and identity both stem from their desire to help others. However, when they do “help,” they often enjoy poking holes in other people’s successes.

• The Narcissist
The Narcissist occurs when someone grew up in a household where other siblings received more attention, perhaps because the sibling was often sick or in trouble. Narcissists feel that the focus was always on someone else, so now it’s their turn to have the spotlight. They often disassociate from their own flaws and are intense people. Their singular goal is for perfection. They are often hypercritical of others and believe that other people are beneath them in both ability and talent. People typically view narcissists are strong, unique, willful, and in charge.

• The Philosopher
The Philosopher usually grew up in a household where they used their smarts or creativity to get away with things. Now as an adult, they are arrogant and think that it’s acceptable to treat others rudely. They immerse themselves in such topics as arts, politics, literature, and religion. They enjoy staying on top of current events and are opinioned to the point of being intellectually arrogant. They enjoy spending long periods of time alone so they can work on their art or intellectual property, and then they come back to the world to share their creation, expecting praise and adoration.

• The Wounded Inner Child
The Wounded Inner Child is dealing with some sort of abandonment issue from childhood. This could be actual physical abandonment or simply an emotional detachment from loved ones. As adults, these people are always seeking to get love and approval and may feel slighted over the smallest act. They typically appear clingy and they have a desire to always be rescued. The Wounded Inner Child craves stability and is likely to throw a tantrum or pout when things don’t go their way.

• The Sex God or Goddess
The Sex God or Goddess never learned to value themselves for what they have to offer. Many have been sexually abused as children. As a result, they think sex is the only way to get that deep love and attention they crave. They often jump from relationship to relationship and don’t have the strength or self-confidence to build long lasting ties with others. While they act in ways that they think will bring them love, attention, and approval, in reality others usually mock them behind their back. The Sex God or Goddess may seem charming on the outside, but on the inside, he or she typically suffers from very low self-esteem.

• The Over-thinker
The Overthinker is someone who is very scared of the future and who doesn’t believe in themselves. As a child, they were often told that they weren’t good enough or smart enough. As a result, they believe they are only worth what they contribute, meaning they won’t speak up unless they believe they can show others they are smart or interesting. They often overthink things and don’t know how to make a decision. Their default action is to not make decisions, so their life is usually stalled.

Blaze Your Soul – Take Control
Everyone has a king or queen imposter that rules them. Some people even have all eight imposters to some degree, but there’s always one that’s heightened and dominant.
So how can people minimize the imposter? That’s where a unique form of coaching called Soul Blazing comes in. Soul Blazing helps you release your feelings of self-hatred and fear and replace them with self-love, gratitude, inspiration, and intention. It helps you become aware of the imposter that’s driving you so you can recognize the ways in which the imposter manifests itself in you.
By recognizing your imposter and taking steps to control it, you can start living life from your authentic self. When issues come up, you can handle them from a rational perspective rather than be reactionary. Ultimately, when you understand how your imposter rules your life, you can regain control, live life on your terms, and achieve anything your soul desires.