Do you often feel nervous when you are at a party and you want to make a good impression on others? Perhaps you are shy and you get tongue tied or your mind goes blank. Here are many tips to help you improve your conversation confidence at social events.

If you have to attend a party or social event for business where a lot of people are going to be present, do you feel confident that you will make a good impression on others? Or do you approach social events with fear and dread in your heart? Do you feel shy?

Do you worry that you won’t be able to think of anything to say when you are meeting new people? Are you worried that you will look like an idiot?

Here are some tips that can help you to increase your confidence level at social events and improve your conversation ability. If you actively practice these steps every time you attend a social event, you will improve your performance and increase your social confidence. These tips can even help you overcome your shyness.

Whenever you are meeting new people, the way you look is a very important part of the overall impression you make. That doesn’t mean that you have to look ultra glamorous for the event.

It just means that you should dress to fit in with the occasion.

When people don’t know you, they put a lot of emphasis in judging you by your appearance. It may seem terribly unfair to be judged by the way you are dressed and how you look, but studies have shown that other people will size you up and decide whether or not they like you within the first five or ten seconds.

This doesn’t mean that people are only looking for someone who is glamorous and beautiful. It means they are trying to decide if they feel comfortable with you or not. They want to know where you fit socially. They want to know if you are like them or if you are very different.

Before you attend the event, make an effort to find out how other people will be dressing. If everyone else is wearing business attire, you should too. If the event is very informal, you should dress informally as well so that you fit in.

If you are going to be meeting people from a particular business or profession, try looking through a few professional magazines ahead of time to get some ideas for conversations you can strike up. Or check on the internet for some conversation ideas related to their field of interest. This can keep you from getting tongue tied at the event.

Before the event, you can increase your vibrancy and liveliness to add to your appeal by using some of the following techniques.

Visualize yourself at the party or event, happily talking with many other people. Imagine that you are enjoying talking with them, and they enjoy talking to you.

Play some lively music that excites you and gets you moving. Dance in front of a mirror and tell yourself what a fun person you are. This will boost your energy at the event.

When you are at the event, don’t focus on worrying whether or not the other person you are talking with likes you. Instead, focus your attention on finding reasons to genuinely like them. This will give your mind a completely different way of looking at the situation.

It will stop your endless preoccupation with what other people are thinking about you.

When you are making conversation with people, be sure to maintain good eye contact, and let your facial expression soften. Nod to show that you are listening. Let your face and body relax so that you can make natural gestures. Don’t be preoccupied with impressing them.

During conversations, pay attention to the way you are breathing. If you notice that you are breathing with short, shallow breaths from the top part of your chest, you will make yourself more nervous. To counteract this, remember to take longer breaths that use more of your lungs.

Be very kind to yourself, no matter what happens. Even if you are still a shy, nervous wallflower, don’t put yourself down. Don’t insist that your social performance has to be perfect.

If you hear a very critical voice in your head telling you that whatever you say in a conversation is stupid, tell that critical part of you that this is just a practice event, so it doesn’t matter. This can make your critical voice stop all together.

After the event is over, take a bit of time to conduct a little review of your social performance and the conversations you had with people. Tell yourself specifically what you did very well at the event. For example, perhaps you made a big effort to really listen to the people you were talking with. Or, you may have asked several people some good, open ended questions that really got them talking.

Should you also search for all the things you did wrong while you were at the event?

Should you criticize yourself for all the flaws in your conversation and behavior?

No, you shouldn’t! Here’s some reasons why you shouldn’t go on a witch hunt for all the things you may have handled badly or said in a less than perfect way.

If you are too critical of your conversations, you will inhibit your future performance. By looking for things to criticize, you guarantee that you will be more nervous in the future. You need to develop the habit of looking for the positive things in your performance. In this way, your conversation confidence will gradually improve.

However, if you do decide that you want to change a few negative things in your conversations, don’t try to change more than one conversational flaw at a time. For example, you might decide that next time you are making conversation with anyone, you will make an effort not to interrupt too much.

If you follow all these suggestions, your performance at social events will steadily improve, and you will enjoy yourself more.

Author's Bio: 

This article was written by Royane Real, author of the special report "Your Guide to Making Friendly Conversation" If you want to learn how to improve your social skills and make more friends, download it today at