If you feel the person and the relationship are right for you, the phase of recovery from depression should not be a deal-breaker. Everyone has some or the other kind of baggage that one brings along with one’s self; so don’t be too hard on yourself. To consider one’s self different and inferior as compared to others is a sign that one is not contented within; it suggests our feeling that ‘I am lacking something’.

But do you know, one gets depressed when one is seeing only the negative side of one’s self? Just check, there are so many positives too in you. Also, when interacting with the other person, if your attention is on how the other person is better than you; you are once again seeing only negative about yourself. But let me tell you by the time you finish reading this article, you will learn that you have the ‘ultimate positive’ residing right inside you! Yes, that is a fact.

But before we proceed, if you are looking forward to get into a relationship,
•Know your weaknesses and your strengths and understand the pitfalls.

•Discuss this with your family and friends, and seek their valuable support.

•Consult your doctors and counsellors who can help you to work out specific issues that you may have in going forward in your relationship and who can ensure that the past mistakes do not get repeated again.

•In very clear terms, express your desire to your potential partner, and know his / her mind too on this.

•Do share your history with the partner, talking about how you struggled with depression and also inform that you’re on the path of recovery now.

•Let the partner know about the challenges that you are facing right now, and that although you are very keen at fulfilling your partner’s expectations, there may be times when you can’t help but keep things low-key. It would be nice if you could frankly let your potential partner know how he / she can help you, going ahead.

•On the other hand, be understanding and appreciative about your partner’s desire to help. If your potential partner asks you questions or offers some advice, take it in good spirit and try to recognize the good intent behind the words.

There is wrong or right, fair and unfair only in the worldly vision.
What we discussed above is all from the relative view, known as the worldly vision.
However, elemental vision is the ultimate real view. And this vision shows only two things:
1.the Pure Soul and
2.the circumstances.

According to elemental vision, no circumstance is ever wrong or right. Circumstances by nature are prone to dissociate. And therefore they are meant to be settled with equanimity. Equanimity means there is neither any attachment nor any abhorrence towards the circumstance.

How do we attain this stage of maintaining equanimity?
Equanimity becomes possible with the elemental vision. And this vision can be obtained only from the Enlightened One!!! He has the elemental vision, and also the power to grace people with this vision, which sets in them a firm conviction of, ‘I am Pure Soul’. This vision is called Self-Realization!!

All along, we always said, ‘I am John (reader may insert his name here)’ - this is the worldly vision that is based on the wrong conviction of ‘my real self is the body and the name that everyone in this world identifies me with.’ Furthermore, one believes, ‘I am like this, I am like that’ and accordingly keeps becoming that which they believe to be.

The Pure Soul is the ‘ultimate positive’ present within every living being!!
Everything in this life goes on, depending on the conviction that is established in a person. The one who has a conviction that really, ‘I am John’, will continue to wander around in the worldly life, and depending on the outer circumstances will keep getting confused, disturbed, restless or depressed. But when the real conviction of ‘I am indeed a Pure Soul’ is established by Gnani, it will take us to salvation; and no matter what the external circumstances are, we will be able to remain at peace and in equanimity.

The very property of the Soul is to only see and know whatever happens, without any attachment or hatred arising within (equanimity). It will take time, but one must look forward to progress to such a stage of the experience of the Soul where nothing in this world affects us anymore.

As long as any worldly matter affects us, there is weakness. However, if we have a strong desire to overcome this weakness, then by staying in the company of Gnani, it is possible to reach the stage of experience where ‘both the wrong and the right are merely the results of the worldly self and I am only Pure Soul - the knower and the seer of the worldly self’s results, whatever they may be.’

That which makes one forget the world, that which does not put any pressure on the mind, that which makes peace prevail all the time, that is our (the Self's) independence!
Worldly efforts are all an ‘effect’ of our ‘past life causes (karmas)’. To get into a relationship is an effect and not being able to get into a relationship is also an effect. And to bring about an effect is in Nature’s hands; not in ours. That’s why there is restlessness. Such is the pain of dependency. So there is nothing but dependency in the worldly life. Constant dependency! Animals are dependent, and if we being humans become dependent too, how can we afford that?

It is possible to become independent from all this; such is the path of Akram Vignan, the stepless path to Self-Realization. This is the path of the ‘real’; the path to become independent. After getting the support from one’s own Soul (permanent in nature), one doesn’t need the support from the material world (temporary by nature). One then becomes independent in true meaning of the word!

So, do not get disturbed over what action is fair or unfair; you just change your inner intent that ‘I want to meet Gnani at my earliest convenience and attain Self-Realization from Him’. There is no time, place or circumstance in this world that can depress You (real Self) then! Wish you good luck...

Please visit https://www.dadabhagwan.org/self-realization/

Author's Bio: 

Ambalal M. Patel was a civil contractor by profession. In June 1958, spontaneous Self-Realization occurred within Ambalal M. Patel. From this point on, Ambalal became a Gnani Purush, and the Lord that manifest within him became known as Dada Bhagwan. A Gnani Purush is One who has realized the Self and is able help others do the same. Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan used to go from town to town and country-to-country to give satsang (spiritual discourse) and impart the knowledge of the Self, as well as knowledge of harmonious worldly interactions to everyone who came to meet him. This spiritual science, known as Akram Vignan, is the step-less path to Self-realization