My Husband Doesn't Make Me Feel Loved: When You Don't Feel Loved By Your Husband

My Husband Doesn't Make Me Feel Loved: When You Don't Feel Loved By Your Husband

As a married women, you probably already know that the passion and flames in your relationship wasn't going to blaze high like it did when you both started dating. The fire in your relationship will go down a little bit but the flames will always be there. So, don't worry if your relationship isn't blazing with passion as it used to.

If you miss how the spark and attraction you and your husband used to have, you need to take a deeper look at what is really going on. Instead of giving you a surface level advice-- like spicing up your sex life or going on more dates, you're going to have to get to the root of the issue. As you probably already know, painting green leaves on a dying tree is not going to work, so those advice you see all over the internet, "3 tricks to win your husband back" isn't going to work either.

However, what you can do is work on the one thing you have control of and that is yourself. You see, most times when women need their husband's attention and love, it's because their looking outside of themselves for happiness. You can not demand love for your husband, you have to attract love from your husband. Tell me, how do you feel about yourself right now? Are you confident and happy about yourself these days?

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When life gets hard, it's natural our confidence and self-esteem goes down a little bit. That is where you have to change your mindset and begin to love yourself again. There is a major difference for needing your husband's love and wanting it. Your husband can instantly feel the difference too. When you need your husband's love, you are putting pressure on him to be responsible for your own happiness. Unfortunately, when someone needs you to do or be something, it's a lot of pressure and the natural way to react to that pressure is to push it away.

So instead of focusing on getting your husband's attention, try focusing on yourself. Do something that makes you feel good on the inside and outside. When you begin to feel good about yourself, you're naturally attractive. A man loves a confident and radiant woman, can you say you're a woman with radiance now? If not, some serious soul-searching and boost of confidence will immensely help attract your husband back to you. Remember, if you want to happiness and love in your life, you need to begin your search looking from the inside out.

Now, if you made your husband angry for any reason and he still is NOT forgiving you, than the only thing you can do if you haven't already is sincerely apologize and wait for him to forgive you. It may take some time for him to forgive, but if you've shown him through your words and actions that you are genuinely sorry for what you did, that's all you can do. Make sure you are impeccable with your words and action.

If you want to know more about how you can save your marriage and get the love of your husband back, you need to understand the you have full and total control of what happens. With the right mindset, you can achieve whatever you want to happen in your marriage. A marriage isn't doomed if you and your husband are stuck going over a speed bump. That's when you get out of the car and push from the behind until you and your husband are on greener pastures... together again.

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All your husband wants to do is sit and watch tv, play video games, or spend endless hours on the computer. It feels like the two of you, who were once happy and very much in love, have turned into roommates. When you find yourself saying "I feel like my husband doesn't love me anymore", please know that you are not alone in feeling this way. I often find myself feeling this way, but I have learned a few things along the road that have helped me save my marriage. I hope they will help you, too.

Men tend to hide their emotions when they are stressed.

Understanding this is very important. This is one I could never grasp. When I am upset about something, I want to talk about it. The more I talk, the better I feel. My husband, on the other hand, won't talk. He just gets more involved in the video games or computer. It feels like he is shutting everything out, including me.

I don't know how it happened, but one day I tried to talk to him (AGAIN) and he actually talked to me! He said it's not that he doesn't love me - he does, very much. It's just that he is so stressed out at work, and he doesn't want to bring that stress into the home. He told me that he knows how hard I work, and am stressed myself, and he didn't want to add to it. Video games and the computer are his way to relax. They are also addictive, and that's why it seemed to me that he would rather be with his 'friends' online than with me.

It's actually a 'guy thing' - the more men I talk to about this, the more they agree. In no way am I saying it's the right thing for them to do, I am only saying that it IS what they do.

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Women want emotional contact, and men want physical contact.

Again, only after talking to as many men as I could about this, did I really understand it. As a woman, mother, and wife, all I want to make me happy is to be recognized. For someone to think that if I were to quit doing my 'wifely' duties, the whole house would literally fall apart! Many times I have felt like nothing but a robot - cook, clean, laundry, taking care of the kids, etc. It really wears on you when no one even says 'thank you'.

Men, on the other hand, need physical contact. They think that if they don't have sex with their wife, then their wife doesn't love them. Just like we feel loved when we are told we are loved, or appreciated, men feel that they are loved when their wife makes love to them. My husband has told me many times, "Why don't you ever initiate sex - why do I always have to do it?" When I told him that it was because it felt like a chore, he looked at me, completely stunned.

He never knew how I felt, but I never knew how he felt. A simple hug or kiss out of the blue would've made him happy. When I went and bought neglige, he was the happiest man in the world. From his perspective, that meant more than anything. It meant that, yes, I do love him, and want and need him.

When I realized this is what men thought, it changed a lot in our marriage. It doesn't take much to give your husband a peck on the cheek, or touch his arm when you pass him. BUT... try it. It will work wonders. He will reciprocate by telling you things you probably thought you'd never hear again - things like, 'thank you, dinner was great', or 'the house looks nice'.

When you think to yourself 'I feel like my husband doesn't love me anymore', think of these things. And try them. What may seem like nothing to you may be the very thing that will open his eyes, and may even save your marriage!

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The idea of marriage dating may bemuse married couples at first, but think about it. How many times have you secretly dreamt that you and your spouse could go back to the days when you weren't married and all you cared about was finding new ways to love and have fun with each other? Here's another question: why can't you go back to that time? There's no reason why you can't. There's no law that prohibits married couples from enjoying romantic and exciting dates so it's high time that you tried it for yourself.

The Benefits of Marriage Dating

There are a number of benefits to enjoy when you have dates with your spouse.

R&R

Is there any better way to spend R&R than spending quality time with your loved one? Sure, you could relax and enjoy recreational pursuits separately but if you allow this to happen to all the time, too much time apart could let doubts and insecurities enter your marriage. Why not kill two birds with a single date instead? A date is just as effective in killing stress and with both of you together, you won't have any reason to worry about third parties as well.

Something New, Exciting, and Interesting

A marriage date allows couples to explore new interests and pursuits. It gives both of you something to look forward to and something to talk about. Certainly, planning your marriage date would be more fun than talking endlessly about problems at work or your children's schooling.

A New Depth to Your Relationship

Marriage dating also gives couples the opportunity to see hidden depths in each other and consequently deepen your appreciation for each other as well. You can never know a person too well even if you've lived with each other for decades. A person evolves over time, even just a little bit and even if he doesn't want to. But it's possible that you won't notice such changes because you've deliberately kept yourselves to the same situation. Marriage dating, however, takes you out of your comfort zone and it's in the outside world that you can see new facets to your spouse and discover new aspects to your marriage.

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An Opportunity for Healing and Forgiveness

Infidelity and drug addiction are just a few of the problems that even the best of marriages will find it difficult to overcome. Recovering from such wounds take time and must not be hurried. Marriage dating allows couples to heal at their own pace without hurting or breaking completely away from each other.

For couples who are temporarily living apart, marriage dating allows them to reconnect without pressuring either of them to get back together. A date gives them the chance to get to know each other all over again and, hopefully, fall in love for a second time around as well.

How to Arrange a Date with Your Spouse

Remember that the key to a perfect date remains the same for unmarried and married couples alike. The best date is always an experience that offers mutual pleasure for both parties. How much it costs and where it takes place are just secondary considerations.

Plan your date together.

Or at least do so for your first date as a married couple. There is simply too much at stake to give one or the other completely free rein to plan your first date. A disastrous date, even if it was planned with the very best of intentions, could put you off both the idea entirely.

Don't hurry.

Deciding that marriage dating would do you good may not have taken as much time but actually making it happen may not be as quick. But that's okay. There's no rush. What's important is that both of you agree to trying it out. Forcing the issue could only backfire and again, for a first date, that's something you shouldn't risk.

It's okay if your first marriage date would take weeks or months from now. What you should make sure is that you do pick a specific date where both of you could completely disappear to the ends of the earth without having to worry about your children or work. For a first date, reserving at least the entire day is a must - this will give you ample time to prepare and reach whatever destination you have in mind. Weekends are even better.

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Free yourself from obligations.

Now that you've picked out a date, do everything that's necessary to ensure you're completely worry-free on the day of your date. Inform your employer about the day you plan to take a leave and impress upon him the need of keeping your appointment. Make excuses if you have to. Arrange for a relative to mind your children for the day but have Plans B and C ready in case this doesn't push through. For that matter, have Plans B and C ready for all arrangements you make.

Give each other time to primp and pamper.

Yes, your husband is also required to brush up and look more scrumptious than usual. A haircut and a shave would be basic but maybe you can convince him to buy new clothes, too. As for yourself, splurge as much as you can afford and desire. Have your hair and makeup done. Buy new lingerie. Don't think that you're overdoing it. Consider everything you're doing or spending as an investment for a happy and long-lasting marriage.

Choose something new and fun for both of you.

Finally, your first date should promise a new experience for both of you. It could be as simple as trying a new restaurant or going to your dream destination. It could be a chance for you to develop a new hobby together or learn a new sport. Anything goes as long as it's something both of you have not yet experienced but seems fun.

And the last rule for marriage dating? Do not cancel. Only death and an actual threat from your boss on getting sacked are valid reasons to take a rain check. But besides that, no other reason would be sufficient for canceling on your first marriage date. It's that important!

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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