Husband Pushes Me Away When I Try To Kiss Him: What To Do When Your Husband Is Not Affectionate

Are you in a marriage where you rarely have sex with your husband, and at list one of you in not pleased with this situation.

Well you're not alone in this at all...it happened in my marriage, and many (if not most, for some periods) other women's marriages too.

But it doesn't have to mean the end of good sex in the marriage, the end of marriage or strife, that is of course if you do things right...

Why You your husband do not make "enough" Sex...

In order to solve this "problem", we must understand it first. The first thing you must realize when you rarely have sex with our husband or your wife, is that you're marriage isn't necessarily in trouble. Before we move forward you also need to realize that your marriage could be in trouble.

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The fact that you and your husband rarely have sex can drive from a set of reasons and aging is one of them.

Low sex drive can come from natural physical processes that we are all going through. It is only natural to suspect or to think that this is a problem, but a short counseling session with your (or your husband's) doctor, may find a solution and increase your natural libido and sex drives.

There might be a problem, however, if it is you that do not want the sex, while your husband initiates it more often then you wish he would, if any.

This situation when physically both partners are in a good shape, but they do not have sex because one or both really do not feel comfortable with the idea, point out that you and your husband might have lost the intimacy of your marriage, and by this I mean that you have lost that good emotional environment in which you could experience closeness, happiness, acceptance and security.

This is dangerous to your marriage since both of you are more open and willing to have an affair or an "emotional affair", or to take a lover, or to break this marriage apart.

There for, you must act immediately in order to work on your marriage.

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Marriage has its fair share of ups and downs. But sometimes life brings us unexpected pain. Many people face traumatic things in their life, such as death of a close family member or friend, car crashes, cancer, and many more. When couples don't know how to cope with these things, their marriage suffers greatly. Here are some ways to help your troubled marriage, and overcome even the toughest times - together.

Men and women usually react to things differently. This is actually one of the reasons marriages are so special. Understanding that your spouse may not react the same way that you do is very important. While you may be the kind of person that has to talk about things, your spouse may keep everything bottled up inside. Emotions often come out as anger, too. Knowing how your spouse deals with things will make saving your marriage easier.

You both made a commitment to each other when you got married. You promised each other that you would be there through good and bad, through sickness and in health. These are one of the bad times - the worst times. If ever you needed to be there for each other, the time is definitely now. Learn to lean on each other. Support each other. Talk to each other, and love each other. The love that you two share will get you through this.

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Depending on what trauma you are dealing with, your family or friends may be going through the same things as you. lean on them for support, also. The more people that come together to console each other, the better.

If you have children and they need to be told what has happened, do it together. One person can talk while the other is there, to support them. It IS hard, but there is no reason your marriage has to suffer - in fact, this can easily make your marriage stronger. Learning to depend on each other and support each other is a major factor in a strong marriage.

If your spouse seems distant, they likely need time alone to deal with things. Give them some space, but also let them know that you are there, ready when they need you. As said before, everyone deals with things differently. What has happened is hard for anyone to deal with. No one should have to face it alone. The two of you are lucky, in a sense - you have what a lot of people don't - you have each other.

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What men want is to be a slave to their woman. This is a very important strategy to learn as a wife. Believe it or not, us men want to serve you, doing whatever you bid us to do. Don't they always call men like us, "husband material?" What's so special about the slave/master relationship where the master can treat the slave like something they found on the sole of their shoe and the slave will be fawn over the master? Obviously, you don't want to be in this extreme, but there is some powerful psychology at work there and you can make it work for you right now if you choose to. In fact, if you think that your husband currently doesn't respect you, this technique will work even better, ie. you can expect him to ask you for permission to do things! Here's how this works...

1. Balanced Imbalance

As much as two people in a relationship have to be equal, that balance has to be overturned every now and then so that there is some emotional momentum that arises. This keeps things fun and mimics the feeling of dating, ie. chasing after someone and trying to court them.

If your husband used to be someone who would follow you to the ends of the earth, he could easily exhibit this behaviour again. All you have to do is mimic the feelings you two felt when you first started dating. He has to put in the effort to get your approval again and so the fun begins...

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2. A Personal Example

At the beginning when I was still dating my wife, she actually initiated. She called me out first and we hung out, saw a movie and had dinner together. I could tell that she was pretty fond of me. She was doing the chasing and I was just relishing the fact that I was being chased.

Out of nowhere, she turned the tables on me. She told me that since I was too busy studying (at the time), maybe it was best that we just stayed friends. She took away the decision from my hands on whether to date her or not. The emotional momentum swung in her favour. I had to act.

3. Action!

That's the key here. If I didn't act, then I wouldn't be married to her today. You've got to leave your spouse no choice but to act. That's where the magic happens. If they're married to you, they want to chase you. You just have to make them chase you by running.

Does that make sense? Hopefully you can see how the analogy of a slave and a master works out here. Make your man chase you and I can almost guarantee that he'll love you more as a result.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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As newlyweds, you're probably thinking it's too soon to start worrying about your marriage. But then again, if you've found yourself here on this site then maybe trouble is already brewing in paradise. But that's okay. That's to be expected. The presence of marriage trouble doesn't mean you love each other less. It's a natural part of marriage the same way getting your hand caught in the cookie jar is part of childhood. It's only when you don't have the willingness and commitment to fight for your marriage that the real problems begin.

The Eternal 'We'

A lot of things that you used to do on your own must now be done with your spouse. When you go out, family and friends may have the tendency to look over shoulder and ask where your spouse is. You may not be your spouse's keeper but it feels like it and that could make you resentful. Do you no longer exist if you're not part of the eternal 'we'?

Unfortunately, you can only expect this to happen again and again. People seemed to have this built-in expectation about needing to see marriage couples together at all times and the moment they're apart, the rumors about a possible divorce or marital woes immediately start.

But you have to learn not to let these things get to you. Even though you didn't mind being part of the eternal 'we', the words and attitudes of other people could still end up poisoning your mind and eventually your relationship with your spouse as well.

Yes, it's important to keep your individuality - your identity - even though you are a part of a marriage, but you also have to be willing to share yourself with your spouse. That's what you promised when you made your marriage vows, remember?

There's nothing wrong about being yourself or being a part of a mated pair as long as you keep things in perspective. As long as both of you are able to manage your time together and apart effectively then don't pay attention to whatever other people say. Maybe they're just jealous of how healthy your marriage is!

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Money

Sure, men are considered to be the "destined" breadwinner of the family, but would it really kill you to exercise just a little bit more control than usual over spending? Unless your husband has an unlimited source of income, he may eventually resent your unwillingness to share financial management of the household and for your future.

A joint account isn't required, but you do have to consult each other before making any huge financial decision. It would be good to discuss what your financial goals are and how you can best achieve them.

Space

If you're used to living on your own and not having other people mess with your things then you're in for a surprise. When you get married, everything becomes the property of Ours, Inc. Yes, you can ask your spouse to respect your space and for the most part, he or she would be willing to abide by it but there are also inevitable circumstances when your spouse still ends up invading your space.

Unfortunately, if you blow up a fuse about every little thing, your marriage would turn into a war zone and you'd be heading for splitsville faster than you can say 'get out'.

You have to be reasonable and reach a compromise. Let go of what you can let go. Forgive what you can forgive. The more you give in, the more you'll be able to exercise authority on things that are most important to you. You've forgiven your husband for turning your study room into a poker room for his friends, for messing with your toiletries, or for taking up half of your side of the dress cabinet for his smelly sports shoes collection. The least he could do is not to touch anything you've placed on your work table!

Friends

Now that you are married, you owe it to your spouse not to confide every little thing about your marriage to your friends. Sure, you'd trust them with your life but that's not the point. Marriage is made up of two persons and unless your spouse explicitly agrees that you can be just as honest with your friends as you had been before marriage then don't say anything.

Similarly, your home is now your spouse's home as well. You can't just invite friends over anytime for any reason. You have to respect your spouse's privacy as well.

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In-Laws

Marriage adds a new title next to your name. Now, you can't just think as an employee or son or daughter. You also have to think as a wife and husband and consequently, you need to balance all those titles. There are times when you have to make a tough decision and choose between obeying your parents or staying true to your spouse. These are hard times, but you'll know what's right when you listen to what your heart says.

Marital Curfews and Martial Law

Okay, you don't exactly get a curfew from your spouse but you at least owe your spouse the courtesy of letting him or her know as early as possible if you're unexpectedly going home late and any other commitments you may have.

It doesn't mean that you're acknowledging your spouse has a say on where you go, what you do, and who you hang out with. But what would you lose when you inform your spouse about these things? It would keep your spouse from getting worried when you're not home early as usual. Wouldn't you want your spouse to do the same if it's the other way around?

Moreover, do exercise common sense and limit the risks you take with your marriage. Try to avoid going out in any date-like circumstances or anything that could lead to trouble. Read: going out with only one other person from the opposite sex, drinking in a bar, and indulging in a little flirtatious encounter here and there.

Now Listen Carefully-

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Author's Bio: 

50% of people divorce. Do not be another statistic. You Can Save Your Marriage These powerful techniques will allow you to trust again and ignite the fire and passion back into your relationship. Save Your marriage today! Click Here

Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.

Do you have a unique situation? Discuss your marriage problems on our forum. We can help you find a great loving relationship! Go to: RelationshipTalkForum.com