This is the time of year when I hear it the most. “This can’t be my family!” I know it’s challenging for some of us to believe we really chose them. It can be painful and aggravating at times. The Akashic Masters want you to know that yes, indeed, you did choose your family members in this life, and here's why it’s the best gift ever.

The Eternal Argument: Run Away or Dive In?

We all have one – at least one. The family member who pushes our buttons, challenges our foundation of self-worth or causes us to question our path. The emotional blowback gets amped up at the holidays and sometimes it feels hopeless, as if we’d be better off home alone.

There are many reasons for avoiding family at this time of the year. People have said it feels hypocritical to “pretend” or cite their commitment to self-care. Many people choose not to engage with relatives, and instead surround themselves with people they’ve chosen to call family.

While I would never encourage you to place yourself in a toxic situation – abusive behavior, addiction, or anything else that feels dangerous – I will nudge you to be honest with yourself. Is there anything you need to give, receive or learn from being around the members of your family that drive you crazy? If the answer is yes, proceed with curiosity. I know it can be hard. It can also be incredibly rewarding.

Family + Holidays = A Giant Challenge

Jeremiah was raised in a small conservative religious sect. His father was the pastor of the church and in the tiny town where they lived, most attended worship there. After Jeremiah left home and made his way in the world, he began to realize that much of what he’d been taught to believe wasn’t true. It caused an internal schism, but he did his best to ride the fence because he didn’t want to hurt his family.

At first, he forced himself to go home for the holidays out of a sense of duty. Those occasions ended one of two ways. Jeremiah stayed silent and resented everyone. Or he voiced his thoughts and then felt responsible for the arguments that resulted. Either way, it didn’t feel good and eventually he began to lie, cancelling at the last minute with some type of emergency.

He vacillated between guilt and obligation, which made him miserable. By the time he contacted me, all he wanted was peace of mind.

What’s Below the Surface

When I introduced Jeremiah to the concept of a soul group and asked him to consider that he chose to be related to the people in his family, he initially balked. As he thought about it being true, things began to shift. There is a freedom that comes from understanding that we created our families because relationships with them are necessary for us to better know who we are.

While working together, the Akashic Masters revealed details of past lives he’d shared with some of his immediate family. He discovered he had karma, or unfinished business, with one of his siblings. In their past life together, Jeremiah and his brother had been father and son. As the father, Jeremiah never believed his son would amount to anything. He ridiculed him and put him down every chance he had.

Jeremiah admitted he treated his younger brother the same way in this lifetime and though he had always made the discomfort of going home about religion, he realized the real cause was much deeper and varied. He found the strength to visit for Christmas despite his apprehension. I encouraged him to stay curious, to see what showed up and to create the intention that he serve as a healing and loving force.

A Real Christmas Miracle

Jeremiah found a way to offer his brother the love and support he couldn’t before. They never even discussed religion or politics because Jeremiah kept the focus of the conversations on his brother. They talked about his job, his family, and issues at work. Jeremiah was careful not to offer advice or criticize, but rather engaged his brother with praise for all he’d accomplished and expressed confidence that he could solve the challenges in front of him.

“It was one of the best holidays I’ve ever had,” he told me. The Akashic Masters offered him a chance to create the peace he wanted, and he did. Jeremiah knows that he and his brother are very different people and they may never be close friends, but both of them now have the gift of resolved karma and the calm that accompanies it.

Your Mission… Should You Choose to Accept It

Your soul's work is about completion of karma, learning about and using forgiveness, discovering self-love, developing compassion, growing in how you think and act, and being of service. Jeremiah accomplished all of this in one trip home. Like Jeremiah, your soul wants you to awaken to the memory that you are a divine soul, loved and loving. Period.

May you become curious this holiday season. Know you can ask the Akashic Masters for guidance around family issues that disturb your peace and move closer to knowing the truth about who you are. To support you, I’ve included a prayer for Healing Family Relationships below. Say it every day for at least a week and watch what happens!

Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukah, Yule, Boxing Day, Kwanzaa or something else, en-JOY it! See you in 2020!!


Mother, Father, Goddess, God, I give great thanks for the
blessings of my family of origin and the family that raised me.
I acknowledge and release any judgments I have of them and
I send them pure unconditional Love.
We are all divine souls on a journey and I bless you with your journey
as I go on my way, following my own Soul Path.
So it is. Blessed Be.

Author's Bio: 

Lisa Barnett is the international bestselling author of From Questioning to Knowing: 73 Prayers to Transform Your Life, and The Infinite Wisdom of the Akashic Records. She is the founder of the Akashic Knowing School of Wisdom where she teaches thousands of students worldwide how to access personal Soul wisdom and guidance to align with your soul path, understand your soul contracts, and complete your karma and vows. With more than twenty years of experience in spiritual healing, Lisa shares simple tools that empower individuals to find greater fulfillment, happiness, abundance, and health. Please download Lisa’s Free Akashic Meditation at: