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Articles from Margaret Paul | Selfgrowth.com
- ***Find your Genius - by Submitted on Jun 07, 2012 from Margaret PaulWe are all geniuses. Are you ready to find your genius? “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” ~ Albert Einstein Did you know that everybody is a genius? I love this quote by Einstein because ...
Views: 3276 - ***"If You Really Loved Me, You Wouldn't..." - by Submitted on Aug 18, 2011 from Margaret PaulHow often have you had the thought, "If you really loved me, you wouldn't... Get angry, yell, curse, call names, say mean, untrue things about meProject your behavior onto meWithdraw, run away, shut down, sit spaced-out in front of the TVResist doing what I ask you to doLook at ...
Views: 3266(3 votes) - ***Taking the Risk of Loving - by Submitted on Jan 13, 2011 from Margaret Paul“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all ...
Views: 3263(3 votes) - Healthy Guilt, Unhealthy Guilt - by Submitted on Jul 17, 2007 from Margaret PaulGuilt is the feeling that results when you tell yourself that you have done something wrong. Healthy Guilt Healthy guilt is the feeling that occurs when you have actually done something wrong - such as deliberately harming someone. This is an important feeling, which results from having ...
Views: 3250 - ***Problems Sleeping? - by Submitted on Jul 04, 2008 from Margaret PaulInsomnia is quite common in our society. While there many different reasons for sleep problems - such as poor diet, too much sugar and refined carbohydrates, too much caffeine, or lack of exercise - I want to share two major causes and the solutions to these. Ironically, one of the major causes ...
Views: 3248 - ***The Vital Importance of Community - by Submitted on Oct 17, 2011 from Margaret PaulI've been reading in many different sources about the research involving community and well being. In his best-selling book,"Outliers," Malcolm Gladwell opens with a study done in a small Pennsylvania town called Roseto.In 1882, Italians who lived in a town of the same name, Roseto, started to ...
Views: 3247(1 vote) - Anxiety: A Lack of Reality - by Submitted on Jun 05, 2007 from Margaret PaulBrent started to work with me after his wife, Carla, suddenly decided to leave the marriage. They had been married five years and Brent thought everything was fine. Then Brent became ill and Carla withdrew. And then she was gone. Brent was devastated. He loved Carla and wanted her back. ...
Views: 3244 - * Is Your Marriage Suffering From Emotional Infidelity? - by Submitted on Jul 18, 2008 from Margaret PaulEmotional infidelity occurs when you or your partner become emotionally connected with someone outside your relationship, either in person or on the Internet. How dangerous to a marriage or committed relationship is emotional infidelity? One way of looking at emotional infidelity is that it is ...
Views: 3242 - A Major Cause of Marriage Problems - by Submitted on Nov 20, 2007 from Margaret PaulWe all know that relationships are very challenging. 52% of married people reach their 15th anniversary and only 33% reach their 25th anniversary. I have been counseling individuals and couples for 40 years and I believe that I have discovered a major cause of relationship problems - if not ...
Views: 3240(2 votes) - *** Love: Is This Romance or is This Friendship? - by Submitted on Apr 20, 2009 from Margaret PaulJames, in his middle 30s, was ready to meet his life partner, get married and have children. After dating many women, he met Cindy. "She is really beautiful, although I'm not sure she's my type. But I think she is perfect for me. We have the same interests, the same values, we go to the ...
Views: 3236(2 votes) - ***Health and Nutrition: Feeling the Effects of Food - by Submitted on Nov 24, 2008 from Margaret PaulIf you are a junk food junkie or you often don't eat well and are unconcerned with health and nutrition, why is this? Everyday we read about or see on TV how sugar, soft drinks, many kinds of fats, fried foods, factory farmed foods, devitalized, packaged and processed food, pesticide laden food, ...
Views: 3234 - 10 Keys to Inner Peace and Joy - by Submitted on Dec 21, 2008 from Margaret PaulInner peace and joy are spiritual gifts. The gifts of Spirit enter the heart when we make the choices we need to make to be available to them. What are these choices? Presence Peace and joy exist in this present moment - not in the past or future. If you are in your left-brain ego programmed ...
Views: 3229(2 votes) - Are You Stuck in Your Life? - by Submitted on Jan 23, 2007 from Margaret PaulAre you constantly reading self-help and motivational books yet nothing changes? Have you tried many different forms of therapy yet still feel unhappy, anxious, depressed and alone? Do you often have the answers for others but not for yourself? The problem may be that you are intent on ...
Views: 3228 - ***Are You and Your Partner Hurting Each Other? - by Submitted on Mar 08, 2011 from Margaret PaulAre you aware of how you may be hurting your partner?Are you aware of how your partner may be hurting you?Are you aware of the painful feelings of loneliness, heartache and heartbreak you likely feel when you are disconnected from your loved one and unable to share love?The sharing of love is ...
Views: 3223(1 vote) - ***7 Step Guide To Creating A Life Of Substance Abuse - by Submitted on Jun 13, 2008 from Margaret PaulWhile it is probable that no one consciously sets out to create a life of substance abuse, those who end up addicted to substances are choosing certain thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors that will likely end up leading to some form of substance abuse - drugs, alcohol, nicotine, food, junk food, ...
Views: 3217(2 votes) - ***Are You Emotionally Dependent? - by Submitted on Oct 12, 2012 from Margaret PaulDiscover the difference between needs coming from emotional dependency and authentic needs that we have within a relationship. ________________________________________ Every few weeks I do a free webinar. People can listen on their computers or on the phone; they can write in asking ...
Views: 3180(6 votes) - ***Why Do You Blame? - by Submitted on Nov 11, 2008 from Margaret PaulTake a moment to think about who you blame for your feelings of hurt, anger, resentment, aloneness, emptiness, loneliness, helplessness, inadequacy, shame, depression, anxiety, fear, and so on. What is really going on inside when you blame someone else for your feelings? Many people have a ...
Views: 3136(1 vote) - ***I'm Neat, He's Messy--What Can I Do? - by Submitted on Sep 26, 2012 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Is your partner's messiness driving you crazy? Discover how to resolve this issue in your relationship. ________________________________________ When we meet and fall in love with someone, we often don't think about what might seem like minor ...
Views: 3134 - ***Others Treat Us The Way We Treat Ourselves - by Submitted on May 05, 2011 from Margaret Paul"Everybody is like a magnet. You attract to yourself reflections of that which you are. If you're friendly, then everybody else seems to be friendly too." --Dr. David Hawkins, Physician and LecturerHave you ever noticed how true this is?I would change it a bit and say that we attract ...
Views: 3126 - ***"I Can't Do It" - by Submitted on Jun 16, 2011 from Margaret Paul"He can who thinks he can, and he can't who thinks he can't. This is an indisputable law." - Henry FordHave you ever noticed how often you say, "I can't"?"I can't lose weight.""I can't find my soul mate.""I can't find a job I love.""I can't ...
Views: 3116(2 votes) - ***Americans: More Self-Centered… and More Lonely - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2011 from Margaret PaulOn April 1, 2011, Matt Cantor, Newser Staff, posted "As Americans Get More Self-Centered, So Do Lyrics Study finds increasingly narcissistic words in top 10 hits."Today's hit songs aren't about "us"-they're just about "me," a study finds. Researchers examined ...
Views: 3111(1 vote) - ***Relationships: Empathy Vs. Responsibility for Feelings - by Submitted on Oct 04, 2008 from Margaret PaulWilliam grew up with a mother who was depressed much of her life. As the oldest of three children with a father who was not around much, William took on a lot of responsibility for his mother's wellbeing. He grew up as a kind and caring man, believing that he was responsible for another's ...
Views: 3091 - Parenting Adolescents When You Have Changed The Rules - by Submitted on Nov 02, 2007 from Margaret PaulMarilee had grown up with very strict authoritarian parents, and decided that when she had children she would not be controlling with them the way her parents had been with her. Unfortunately, the only thing she knew to do was to be a permissive parent, which meant that instead of controlling ...
Views: 3068(2 votes) - Why Do You Want to "Communicate" With Your Partner? - by Submitted on Jul 03, 2007 from Margaret PaulWhen partners are having problems, they often say that the problem is communication. What exactly does this mean? What are they trying to communicate? There are various reasons for communicating: 1. Sometimes we communicate to offer information about ourselves, such as, "I'm going out for a ...
Views: 3065(1 vote) - ***Conflict: Why Do You Argue, Why Do You Fight in Conflict? - by Submitted on Jan 03, 2009 from Margaret PaulThink about the last time you had a conflict with someone and you argued - with your partner, your friend, your parent, your child, or someone else in your life. What did you argue about, and why did you spend your energy arguing or fighting? Reasons for Arguing and Fighting Here are some of ...
Views: 3044 - ***He's Trying To Control Me - by Submitted on Dec 17, 2007 from Margaret Paul"I know what's coming when Robert says that we need to sit down and have a talk," Maryann told me in our phone session. "He wants to tell me everything that is wrong with me. It's not about talking - it's about wanting to have control over me. Last time he did this it was all about how I spend ...
Views: 3037(5 votes) - If I Am Myself, I Will End Up Alone - by Submitted on Sep 29, 2007 from Margaret PaulPeggy had been married to James for 14 years when she first consulted with me for help with her relationship and her anxiety. "I can't stand being in this marriage anymore. We have two wonderful children and I don't want to break up this family, but I’m miserable and anxious much of the time. ...
Views: 3030(1 vote) - ***When You Love Yourself, You Let Others Off the Hook - by Submitted on Jan 18, 2012 from Margaret PaulFrequently, when I start to work with a new client, they believe that loving their self is selfish. Nothing could be further from the truth. A more accurate definition of selfish is expecting others to give themselves up and do for you what you can and need to be doing for yourself.Letting ...
Views: 3019(3 votes) - ***Holding Your Heart Through Sadness and Heartbreak - by Submitted on Feb 17, 2011 from Margaret Paul"I've finally learned how to lovingly hold my heart when my heart hurts from the pain of disconnection with loved ones," said Meagan in our phone session. "I've discovered that it's possible to feel peaceful even in the midst of loneliness and heartbreak."Does it seem like a ...
Views: 3007(1 vote) - ***Trying to Control Makes us Miserable - by Submitted on Apr 21, 2011 from Margaret PaulHave you ever noticed how bad you feel when you try to control things you can't control - such as others and outcomes?Larry consulted with me because he was often miserable - despite running a successful business, and having a lovely wife and two daughters, whom he adored.It soon became apparent ...
Views: 3002(1 vote) - ***The Law of Attraction - It's About Frequency - by Submitted on Mar 25, 2011 from Margaret PaulMany of us have heard of the Law of Attraction - that like attracts like. However, many are confused about what this really means.In my experience, like attracts like means that like frequency attracts like frequency. My high frequency attracts the things I want and my low frequency attracts ...
Views: 2996(1 vote) - ***The Challenge of Accepting Our Helplessness Over Others - by Submitted on Oct 06, 2011 from Margaret PaulHelplessness is a very difficult feeling. It can even feel like life or death to those of us who were left to cry for hours as babies, with no one coming to help us. Because we were so helpless over ourselves as babies and small children, it can trigger feelings of panic. It's hard to remember, ...
Views: 2987 - ***When Should You Take It Personally? - by Submitted on Jan 05, 2011 from Margaret PaulWe hear so often, "Don't take it personally." What does this really mean? The answer is NOT simple!Let's say that you are in a great mood, feeling loving and expansive, and someone - either someone close to you or a stranger like a clerk in a store - is withdrawn or attacking.This is ...
Views: 2985(2 votes) - ***Giving To Others: Draining Or Fulfilling? - by Submitted on Feb 29, 2012 from Margaret PaulGiving to others can be one of the most fulfilling experiences in life, or it can be one of the most draining. What makes the difference?The difference has to do with WHY you are giving to others.Giving From A Full HeartWhen we give from a full heart, we are giving because we are so filled up ...
Views: 2983(2 votes) - Your Children are on Their Own Soul's Journey - by Submitted on Dec 06, 2005 from Margaret PaulIn a phone session with Gerald, one of my clients, he expressed to me that he was feeling very sad about his son, Luc. Luc, 29 years old, was not doing much with his life, and Gerald was berating himself for how he had parented Luc. “I should have spent more time with him. I should have ...
Views: 2976 - ***Finally! Studies Prove That Spanking Doesn’t Work - by Submitted on May 03, 2012 from Margaret Paul“A new analysis concludes that spanking fails to alter kids' behavior in the long term. What it does instead is amp up their aggression.” From “Why Spanking Doesn’t Work,” by Bonnie Rochman |@brochman | February 6, 2012 http://healthland.time.com/2012/02/06/why-spanking-doesnt-work/?hpt=hp_t3 ...
Views: 2967 - *** Love Asks for Nothing - by Submitted on May 19, 2009 from Margaret Paul"We 'love' another in order to get something ourselves….There can be no greater mistake than that, for love is incapable of asking for anything." -- A Course in Miracles "Love is incapable of asking for anything." Wow! Take a moment to think about that ...
Views: 2966(3 votes) - ***The Challenge Of Good Nutrition - by Submitted on Dec 31, 2007 from Margaret Paul"Eat more carbohydrates!" "Eat more protein!" "Be a vegetarian!" "Vegetarians are not healthy." "Don't eat grains!" "Eat more grains!" Are you confused about how to eat for excellent health? Even the research is contradictory! Since my early 20s, I have been interested in health and ...
Views: 2946 - ***"I Feel Trapped" - by Submitted on Jul 07, 2011 from Margaret Paul"I can't seem to stop snacking," said Linda, in our phone session. "And I can't figure out why. I don't overeat during meals, but then I snack on things that I don't need to be eating. I've had this issue on and off since adolescence and I want to resolve ...
Views: 2943(1 vote) - ***What Will Love Give You? - by Submitted on Jan 10, 2012 from Margaret PaulDid you grow up believing that if only someone REALLY loved you in the way you needed to be loved, then you would feel happy, safe, lovable and worthy?Certainly being truly loved by parents goes a long way toward supporting children in feeling safe and lovable, but it is not the whole story. ...
Views: 2943(1 vote) - ***Are You Making These 4 Mistakes? - by Submitted on Mar 31, 2011 from Margaret PaulI, like many of you, was brought up and programmed to believe in a number of ideas that have turned out to be untrue. These false beliefs led me to make various life and relationship mistakes. I didn't like making mistakes any more than you do, but it is from my mistakes that I've learned so ...
Views: 2936(4 votes) - Loving Yourself, Loving Your Children - by Submitted on Sep 11, 2006 from Margaret PaulThink about this for a moment: Is it really possible to love your children without loving yourself, or to love yourself without loving your children? The answer is no. If you are ignoring yourself to take care of your children, this is not loving to your children or to yourself. While being ...
Views: 2909(2 votes) - ***Stop Taking the Bait of Projection! - by Submitted on Nov 22, 2011 from Margaret PaulAll of us have projected our own thoughts, feelings, motivations and desires onto others, and have been at the other end of projection. Many of us learned to project onto others as we were growing up, when our parents, siblings or caregivers projected their unconscious feelings, thoughts and ...
Views: 2905(1 vote) - ***What is Enlightenment? - by Submitted on Feb 06, 2012 from Margaret Paul"If I could define enlightenment briefly I would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is." - Dr. Wayne DyerAs simple as this definition seems to be, how often do you quietly accept what is? Instead, what do you say or do?I say things like “It’s not supposed to be this way.” “It should have ...
Views: 2900(2 votes) - ***Are you Inspiring or Gloomy? - by Submitted on Dec 22, 2011 from Margaret Paul"You find yourself refreshed by the presence of cheerful people. Why not make an honest effort to confer that pleasure on others? Half the battle is gained if you never allow yourself to say anything gloomy." --Julia Child, 1912-2004, Chef, Author and Television PersonalityWhat is your ...
Views: 2899(1 vote) - Weight: The Key to Weight Loss - by Submitted on Dec 08, 2008 from Margaret PaulHow often have you eaten something that you know is going to put weight on you and you tell yourself that it doesn't count? Do you have any idea how many calories you actually consume in a day, and how many you need to lose weight or to maintain weight? Is it possible that you think you are not ...
Views: 2898 - Power Struggles - Being Right or Being Loving - by Submitted on Sep 06, 2005 from Margaret PaulMandy and Evan consulted with me for couple’s counseling because they were always bickering. Every little thing seemed to become an issue between them. They loved each other very much, but the bickering was certainly getting in the way of enjoying each other. I ask Mandy and Evan to come ...
Views: 2895(1 vote) - The Powerful Secret to A Loving Relationship - by Submitted on Aug 09, 2005 from Margaret PaulThere are many factors that go into creating a loving relationship. Certainly it helps if two people have some things in common regarding how they like to spend their time. It also helps if they have common values around religion or spirituality, around politics, the environment, abortion, and ...
Views: 2883(1 vote) - ***What to do When You Can't Communicate - by Submitted on Jul 14, 2011 from Margaret PaulWhat do you usually do when you get stuck with someone and can't communicate?Do you:Try harder to get your point across, talking louder or faster?Get angry, shouting to intimidate the other person into hearing you and/or agreeing with you?Cry in frustration?Feel resigned, give in and just listen ...
Views: 2877(2 votes) - ***The Myth of Explaining and Defending - by Submitted on May 12, 2011 from Margaret Paul"What's the matter with you?" "How could you do that?""Explain yourself, young lady/young man.""Why are you dressed like that?""Why are you late again?""What did you do to your hair!"How often did you hear some variation of this when ...
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