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There are many experiences that create momentary happiness, but there is only one experience that is truly the greatest joy in life.
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Take a moment to think about what you ... Views: 1163
Do you allow your natural kindness to shine forth?
"Kindness is an inner desire that makes us want to do good things even if we do not get anything in return. It is the joy of our life to do them. When we do good things from this inner desire, there is kindness in everything we ... Views: 1161
By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
January 25, 2016
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Discover the big difference between reaching out as your loving adult or as your wounded self.
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Dorothy asked an important question:
"What is the difference ... Views: 1158
Are you aware of the feelings you cause yourself when you attempt to control others rather than love yourself?
"I have never been able to conceive how any rational being could propose happiness to himself from the exercise of power over others." - Thomas ... Views: 1152
Do you have problems having truly connected friendships?
Friendship is a big topic. There are people who always seem to have many friends, and others who can't seem to find the way to make friends. Some people have deeply connected friendships, and others have only superficial ... Views: 1150
By Margaret Paul, PhD
November 22, 2016
Do you know how love yourself when you feel rejected? Start learning how now!
What do you generally do when you feel rejected? If you're like most people, you either try to control the rejecting person, or you take it out on yourself with various ... Views: 1146
Do you have problems committing to a relationship, or are you involved with someone who has a fear of commitment?
Louis wrote to me:
"I have been dating an amazing girl, but recently ended it because I am not sure if she is good for me. Our relationship has ... Views: 1146
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Heal your inner cult with the Six Steps of Inner Bonding.
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What do you picture when you think of the word 'cult?' For me, what comes to mind is being involved in a community where you have to follow certain ... Views: 1145
Do you sometimes find yourself resisting receiving love because you believe you don't deserve it?
Have you ever heard yourself say, "I'm not worthy of love," or "I'm not worth loving," or "I'm unworthy of God's love"? I frequently hear this from my ... Views: 1143
Have you wondered why you may be having a hard time connecting with others?
"Intimacy begins with oneself. It does no good to try to find intimacy with friends, lovers, and family if you are starting out from alienation and division within yourself." - Thomas ... Views: 1141
By Margaret Paul, Ph. D.
February 01, 2016
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You CAN heal a fear of being excluded and rejected!
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Many of us grew up experiencing, in one way or another, the pain of ... Views: 1141
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Are you staying in an abusive relationship because you believe you can change it or not be bothered by it?
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The question of when to leave a relationship comes up over and over with my clients and with the ... Views: 1135
If you are hard on yourself, do you believe that this is helpful to you? You might want to re-evaluate this false belief.
Are you hard on yourself? Do you think this is a good thing? Do you believe this motivates you to do better? Think again. If you are doing well, it's likely in ... Views: 1134
Are you aware of needing to talk too much, or have you been with people who go on and on? There is a good reason for this.
I have found over the years of practicing Inner Bonding that the more I listen to myself, the less need I have for others to listen to me and hear me. Not that ... Views: 1131
By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
April 04, 2016
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Learn how to resolve conflict when your partner or another person isn't available for mutual conflict resolution.
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Loving relationships create a safe arena in ... Views: 1130
All of us have 'triggers' that set off our fear or anxiety and may lead to our reactivity - anger, defensiveness, withdrawal, compliance or resistance. We are especially triggered in our important relationships.
Take a moment right now to think about what, in your relationships, triggers you ... Views: 1120
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Do you have the courage to hang in through the hard times and do the learning and healing we all need to do to create a loving relationship?
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Are you committed to working through the difficult and painful ... Views: 1119
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Do you believe that you want a relationship but never seem to find the 'right one?'
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Most people say they want to be in a relationship, yet they consistently do things that keep them from achieving this. If you ... Views: 1118
By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
May 02, 2016
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Learn to manage the shattering heartbreak of when someone doesn't grok you – doesn't see you, hear you or understand you. ... Views: 1112
When I was four years old, I had one of those snapshot moments that is clearly embedded into my brain. I was outside by our duplex – at that time kids were safe outside alone - and there were three boys poking a snail with a stick so they could watch it writhe. I was stunned that they could do ... Views: 1111
By Margaret Paul, PhD
January 31, 2017
Discover why it takes great courage to learn to love yourself, and why it's so important to make loving yourself one of your highest priorities.
Loving Yourself"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more ... Views: 1110
By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
August 22, 2016
Are you afraid that if you practice Inner Bonding, you will have to feel painful feelings that you have been avoiding your whole life with your various addictions?
Most people who have done even a little bit of Inner Bonding know the power it has ... Views: 1108
Learn to practice awareness of intent, to move out of your painful feelings and into your inner peace.
Those of you who have been practicing Inner Bonding know that the basis of the Inner Bonding process is the intent to learn about loving yourself and others.
It is the intent to learn ... Views: 1107
Discover how to manage panic in a way that allows it to dissipate rather than escalate.
"That's the strange thing about panic – when we lean into it, it loosens it's grip on us." Daniel Siegel, M.D.
"The power of reflection allows us to approach, rather than ... Views: 1106
By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
January 16, 2017
Has giving talks or presentations been scary for you? Discover why and what to do about it.
Michael, one of my clients, asked me for help in one of our phone sessions:
"I have to give a presentation to my boss and others on our staff on Friday. ... Views: 1104
By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
October 10, 2016
Do you feel ready to leave your relationship but wonder whether or not this is the right time to call it quits?
Many of my clients struggle with knowing when it's the right time to end a relationship.
Mary asked me:
"I married my first ... Views: 1096
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Do you get stuck not knowing what to say or do when your partner treats you disrespectfully?
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Louise asked me:
"Do you have any suggestions on what to say when my husband says unloving words to me in front ... Views: 1089
Marina asked:
“I often go out of my way and do different things for my fiancé. For example if he wants me to stay and do something with him, I cancel what I have to do and stay with him. But he never does the same. He takes care of whatever he feels he needs to. Then I’m filled with ... Views: 1086
By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
September 27, 2016
What does it look like to be a loving advocate for your inner child? Learn how now!
What does loving self-care really mean?
Our wounded self and our loving adult have totally different concepts of what self-care really means.
The wounded ... Views: 1082
For many people, inner emptiness is a big problem. They believe that they can fill their emptiness from the outside, which is a false belief.
The cause of inner emptiness is a lack of a loving connection with your inner child - your essence, your true Self, your Being, which then results in ... Views: 1081
Are you an empathic person who feels others' pain and then takes responsibility for their feelings in an effort to alleviate their pain? Is it hard for you to feel others' pain without trying to fix them?
Often, empathic people become caretakers to try to alleviate others' pain so they don't ... Views: 1081
By Margaret Paul, PhD
January 23, 2017
How fiercely and relentlessly devoted are you to wanting to love yourself and wanting to learn to treat yourself lovingly?
Gerard sat opposite me at one of my Inner Bonding Intensives.
"My body hurts and I feel irritated," he complained, in a ... Views: 1079
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Discover what you can do to give your relationship a chance.
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Lauren asks:
"I have been married for 12 years, our marriage has always been a struggle of various forms. I have gotten to feel so empty and ... Views: 1073
Seema asked me this question during one of my webinars. It’s a question that I‘m often asked.
“I seem to attract men who are often narcissistic, selfish, cheating and abusive. As much as I try to not repeat this pattern and learn my lessons and grow, I still find myself with this type of ... Views: 1071
By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
November 07, 2016
You have a much better chance at conflict resolution when you are loving yourself rather than trying to control the other person.
One of the questions I often receive is about how to manage conflict. If you think back to the role-modeling you ... Views: 1069
Do you sometimes feel trapped with some who wants to be listened to but doesn't want to listen to you?
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One of the common complaints I hear from my clients is that they listen well but they end up just listening and never being heard.
This is the ... Views: 1062
Do you sometimes look back and feel as if you have wasted your life caretaking others or trying to get others to take care of you?
Very often, in my work with my clients and with people who attend my workshops and Intensives, once they understand that they have been abandoning ... Views: 1057
Do you find that nothing really excites you or holds much meaning for you? Does your life lack aliveness, passion and purpose?
Vera sought out counseling with me because her doctor advised her to discover the emotional causes of her chronic fatigue. Vera, a successful stockbroker, was in a ... Views: 1056
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How often do you feel one-up or one-down in comparison to others?
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When you were growing up, did your parents compare you to others? Were you compared to siblings or other family members? Did your parents ... Views: 1046
Do you have the common false belief that the better you feel about yourself, the more alone you will be?
Yolanda asks:
"What is coming up for me is -- if I completely move out of self-judgment and fully take the responsibility to actualize the deepest yearnings of my Soul, I ... Views: 1043
Your spiritual guidance is always here for you, but you need to know how to access it. Connecting with Spirit is simple, but not always easy.
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What if you knew that you are never alone - that you are always being guided by a personal source of ... Views: 1043
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There is no time like right now to get clear on what you want to manifest in the coming year.
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What do you want in the coming year?
One of the things I've done for many years is to write down what I want for ... Views: 1041
Are you happy with who you are attracting into your life?
"Everybody is like a magnet. You attract to yourself reflections of that which you are." Dr. David Hawkins, Psychiatrist, Physician and Researcher, author of Power vs. Force
Are you happy with who you ... Views: 1041
By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
Like anything worth learning, developing the habit of loving takes practice. As you practice Inner Bonding, your brain develops the habit of loving.
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." ~ Aristotle
All of us develop ... Views: 1037
How are you limiting yourself to limit your partner? What are the consequences of this?
"As long as you keep a person down, some part of you has to be down there to hold him down, so it means you cannot soar as you otherwise might." ~Marian Anderson 1902-1993, Concert ... Views: 1030
"I believe that anyone can conquer fear by doing the things he fears to do, provided he keeps doing them until he gets a record of successful experiences behind him." ~Eleanor Roosevelt
I know from my own experiences that what Eleanor Roosevelt said in the above quote is very true.
- I ... Views: 1026
By Margaret Paul, PhD
November 15, 2016
What do you do when someone is trying to control you? Do you give in, argue or resist? Discover how to love yourself instead of abandoning yourself.
Loving yourselfMost of us have had the experience in our relationships of someone trying to ... Views: 1025
By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
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The disturbing lack of a personal spiritual connection that many experience has huge ramifications for our planet.
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How are we doing as inhabitants of this beautiful planet? Sometimes ... Views: 1022
In our stressful society, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. It’s easy to feel inundated with all we need to do, and besieged when too much is coming at us at once.
It’s my experience that overwhelm comes from two different places:
-If you are a highly sensitive person – which means that your ... Views: 1022
By Margaret Paul, PhD
December 27, 2016
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Have you discovered what connects you with your spiritual Guidance and supports you in downloading 'great thoughts?'
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"All truly great thoughts are conceived ... Views: 1017