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Articles from Jan Denise | Selfgrowth.com
- Where are you headed ... in your relationship? - by Submitted on May 04, 2012 from Jan DeniseWhere are you headed ... in your relationship? by Jan Denise As seen in Jan's relationships column "Choosing Love" in the May 2012 issue of In Jersey magazine If you don't want to take a vacation, you can stay home; but if you don't want to go anyplace in your relationship, you can't ...
Views: 1496(1 vote) - You Direct the Spring Within - by Submitted on May 04, 2012 from Jan DeniseYou Direct the Spring Within by Jan Denise As seen in Jan's relationships column "Choosing Love" in the March 2012 issue of In Jersey magazine I was in paradise wandering from one little alcove to another, with angel trumpets cascading overhead and roses perfuming the morning air. The ...
Views: 927(1 vote) - Enjoy More, Maintain Less - by Submitted on May 04, 2012 from Jan DeniseEnjoy More, Maintain Less With the emphasis on home and garden this month, it's easy to feel as though you spend more time maintaining your home than enjoying it, right? And chances are you've also felt that way about your relationship. The words — muttered or screamed — go something like, ...
Views: 1018 - Bringing the Unknown into the Known - by Submitted on Jan 03, 2012 from Jan DeniseBringing the Unknown into the Known By Jan Denise The goal of learning is to bring the unknown into the known. The mere act of embracing the unknown as the truth requires a degree of faith. When we limit ourselves to believing for the known—or what we have already proven to be true—we ...
Views: 1382(2 votes) - You ARE Love - by Submitted on Jan 03, 2012 from Jan DeniseYou ARE Love By Jan Denise From the time we learn the word “no,” we begin to get the message that what we would do naturally is “bad.” As young children, we can’t make a distinction between our behavior and ourselves, so we buy into a lie—the lie that in order to be good enough we have to ...
Views: 1301(2 votes) - Breathe Life Into Your Wish List - by Submitted on Dec 02, 2011 from Jan DeniseBreathe Life Into Your Wish List If you want to order the cheapest thing on the menu or take a budget vacation, go ahead; but don’t resort to practical wishes. What do you really want for Christmas? Now, tell him, tell everybody. Don’t depend on anybody else to deliver it, though. I ...
Views: 1344 - Entertain Each Other First - by Submitted on Nov 07, 2011 from Jan DeniseEntertain Each Other First We have more entertainment at our fingertips than ever, but are we any less apt to be bored in our relationships? Most of us carry our own personal entertainment screen around with us—our favorite people, music, reading material, and games. If somebody keeps ...
Views: 1609 - Your Chance to Bounce Higher - by Submitted on Sep 30, 2011 from Jan DeniseYour chance to bounce higher No matter who you are, you feel less comfortable financially than you did a couple years ago. And particularly if that's the only comfort you knew, you're hurting. The good news is that you also feel less complacent! If you haven't gotten more creative and ...
Views: 1249 - See and Celebrate What's Real - by Submitted on Sep 11, 2011 from Jan DeniseSee & Celebrate What’s Real by Jan Denise You’re gritting your teeth and talking under your breath again, wondering if he deliberately provokes you … and if he waits until people are watching to do it. It’s no coincidence that he’s more irritating when you’re the center of attention. ...
Views: 1105(1 vote) - Don't Squeeze Yourself Into a Relationship - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2011 from Jan DeniseDon’t Squeeze Yourself Into a Relationship It can be just as tempting to squeeze yourself into a man’s mold for you as it is to squeeze yourself into the latest fall fashions. Okay, maybe it’s more tempting! Hold your ground, though. Let relationships—and clothes—enhance who you are, ...
Views: 1181 - No, I'm Fine, Really ... there's no reason to reject me - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2011 from Jan DeniseNo, I’m Fine, Really There’s No Reason to Reject Me By Jan Denise My mom says that when I was a baby, they could pick me up, and I was fine and happy. They could put me down, and I was still fine and happy. No crying. For decades, I thought ...
Views: 1475 - Start With a Clean Slate ... and aim for perfect love - by Submitted on Jun 05, 2011 from Jan DeniseStart With a Clean Slate … and aim for perfect love For the best summer—and relationship—ever, start with a clean slate. Wipe away the black marks and start fresh, aiming, once again, for perfect love. Only this time, do it with perfect love in clear view. Know what you’re going for, ...
Views: 5202(1 vote) - Off to Mom's ... to see how enlightened we really are - by Submitted on May 03, 2011 from Jan DeniseOff to Mom’s … to see how enlightened we really are In keeping with this month’s travel theme and Mother’s Day, why not plan a visit to Mom’s? If you have a whole litany of excuses, maybe I can help. Let’s start by acknowledging that our deepest wounds are often created when we’re still ...
Views: 1346 - Shared Space, Shared Happiness - by Submitted on Apr 01, 2011 from Jan DeniseShared Space, Shared Happiness While you’re thinking of all the ways you can improve your home, don’t get preoccupied with trends and technology. Make sure it reflects the behavioral, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, sexual, and magical you. Then consider all the ways you and your ...
Views: 1271(1 vote) - Flower Year Round, Unabashedly - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2011 from Jan DeniseFlower Year Round, Unabashedly by Jan Denise March 2011 The sun shines longer in the spring, telling the trees it’s safe to reveal the countless buds beneath their scales. And when green blankets the earth, we’re inspired to show our own colors; but we don’t have to wait for spring. ...
Views: 1131(1 vote) - Success Waits Behind the Veil of Failure - by Submitted on Jan 10, 2011 from Jan DeniseSuccess Waits Behind the Veil of Failure in relationships and in life Just as Valentine’s Day points to everybody else getting roses and chocolates and diamonds, it can point to your own relationship blunders. Before you give yourself a failing grade, though, consider the bell curve. How ...
Views: 1224 - Resolve to Be Happy This Year - by Submitted on Jan 07, 2011 from Jan DeniseResolve to Be Happy This Year Life is about falling down and learning from it, getting up and starting again. And if that doesn't sound like fun to you, just watch a baby do it. Better yet, let the baby wrap his little fingers around yours and help him learn to walk. Look into his ...
Views: 1146(2 votes) - Give Him a Clean Slate for Christmas - by Submitted on Dec 06, 2010 from Jan DeniseGive Him a Clean Slate for Christmas By Jan Denise Trying to decide between a beach getaway and a stocking full of coal for your sweetheart? Why not give him a clean slate, instead? Wipe away the black marks and start fresh, aiming—once again—for perfect love. Only this time, do it with ...
Views: 1359 - Gratitude Brings to Light Abundance and Joy - by Submitted on Nov 04, 2010 from Jan DeniseGratitude Brings to Light Abundance and Joy By Jan Denise On that first Thanksgiving Day in 1621, the colonists invited the Indians to join them in giving thanks for the harvest. Being thankful meant having enough to share. It still does. A grateful man will share — and be glad he’s ...
Views: 1840(1 vote) - Gratitude Grows More of What You Want - by Submitted on Nov 04, 2010 from Jan DeniseGratitude Grows More of What You Want by Jan Denise Your partner doesn’t always give you what you want. I bet there are even moments when he (or she) seems incapable of it, right? And if you dwell on those moments, you’ll feel like he’s never going to satisfy you. There are other ...
Views: 1312(2 votes) - Relationships Cycle Predictably - by Submitted on Oct 01, 2010 from Jan DeniseRelationships Cycle Predictably by Jan Denise Whether you dread or cheer summer’s end, autumn arrives. So, too, each season of your relationship takes a turn, repeating a cycle as predictable as spring, summer, fall, and winter. Why not transition through the seasons with your eyes ...
Views: 1365 - Commitment Is an Ongoing Choice - by Submitted on Aug 17, 2010 from Jan DeniseCommitment is an Ongoing Choice He’s snuggling up to you as though nothing’s wrong, but you don’t even want to be there. How did you end up married to this guy anyway? Right now it seems like any one of three suitors would have been a better option … and you’re still counting. The ...
Views: 1290 - Bare All to Enchant in Any Season - by Submitted on Aug 17, 2010 from Jan DeniseBare All to Enchant—in Any Season Summer demands that we bare all those body parts we’ve conveniently layered in sweaters. And if you’re feeling squeamish about that, you’re trying to protect more than just your abs and your thighs from rejection. When you accept the rest of you, you ...
Views: 1219 - Another "New" Year - by Submitted on Dec 17, 2009 from Jan DeniseINSIDE/NAKED RELATIONSHIPS BY JAN DENISE RELEASE: FRIDAY, DECEMBER 29, 2006 ANOTHER "NEW" YEAR It feels like I've blown too many to get another one. Still, here it is … a brand new year. Somebody knows what he's doing because, after all these years, I'm getting better at life, ...
Views: 1214(5 votes) - Naked, the Only Way to Be In Love - by Submitted on Dec 09, 2009 from Jan DeniseINSIDE RELATIONSHIPS BY JAN DENISE RELEASE: FRIDAY, DECEMBER 11, 2009 Naked, the Only Way to Be In Love I launched this column 10 years ago as "Naked Relationships" to help you experience the ultimate in authentic, loving relationships -- something I had yet to get my arms ...
Views: 1360(2 votes) - Meet Six Needs and Bond for Life - by Submitted on Nov 27, 2009 from Jan DeniseINSIDE RELATIONSHIPS BY JAN DENISE RELEASE: FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 27, 2009 Meet Six Needs and Bond for Life Relationships make for a happy, fulfilling life or a miserable existence. So, why didn't our parents sit us down early on and teach us to do relationships well? If you think about ...
Views: 1366(5 votes) - Lose Weight, Change Your Life - by Submitted on Nov 19, 2009 from Jan DeniseINSIDE RELATIONSHIPS BY JAN DENISE RELEASE: FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 20, 2009 Lose Weight, Change Your Life Last week I asked: How would your life change if you were to lose weight and satisfy the hunger that food can't? To help answer the question, I also posed it to Keith Ahrens, the man I ...
Views: 1527(5 votes) - Mirror Reflects Hunger Within - by Submitted on Nov 12, 2009 from Jan DeniseMirror Reflects Hunger Within Two out of three Americans are overweight, making obesity the second leading cause of preventable death. Instead of eating less, we spend $35 billion a year on weight loss products. We're not stupid; we're in pain. We have an emptiness, a yearning, a hunger … ...
Views: 1377(5 votes) - Whether You Stay or Walk, Love Well - by Submitted on Oct 22, 2009 from Jan DeniseINSIDE RELATIONSHIPS BY JAN DENISE RELEASE: FRIDAY, OCTOBER 23, 2009 Whether You Stay or Walk, Love Well (SET ITAL) I hate to give up on our relationship, but to stay feels like giving up on my dreams. (END ITAL) To walk away from what we hoped -- and promised -- would last forever is ...
Views: 1262(5 votes) - Sex Whys Versus Relationship Why - by Submitted on Oct 15, 2009 from Jan DeniseINSIDE RELATIONSHIPS BY JAN DENISE RELEASE: FRIDAY, OCTOBER 16, 2009 Sex Whys Versus Relationship Why Despite all our science, many men still talk about what women want as though it's beyond their comprehension. In light of new research, perhaps some of it's because men confuse what ...
Views: 1191(3 votes) - FWB: Friends With Benefits, or Blinders - by Submitted on Oct 01, 2009 from Jan DeniseINSIDE RELATIONSHIPS BY JAN DENISE RELEASE: FRIDAY, OCTOBER 2, 2009 FWB: Friends With Benefits, or Blinders I just explained to my husband that "friends with benefits" refers to friends who have sex. But in a recent study, college students needed no explanation; 60 percent of those ...
Views: 2006(6 votes) - Lousy Segments Make for Good Life - by Submitted on Sep 24, 2009 from Jan DeniseINSIDE RELATIONSHIPS BY JAN DENISE RELEASE: FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 25, 2009 Lousy Segments Make for Good Life Often we're so engrossed in snippets of our lives that we fail to see the big picture; but life, directed by the mother of all directors, has a way of bringing the pieces ...
Views: 1170(3 votes) - Treat Problem, Not Symptoms - by Submitted on Sep 17, 2009 from Jan DeniseINSIDE RELATIONSHIPS BY JAN DENISE RELEASE: FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 18, 2009 Treat Problem, Not Symptoms Q: I am in desperate need of some advice. I feel that my marriage is going downhill fast and I want to save it. Let me tell you the story. A couple of years ago, I accidentally found ...
Views: 1349(4 votes) - 'Safe' Strategy Is Your Downfall - by Submitted on Sep 10, 2009 from Jan DeniseINSIDE RELATIONSHIPS BY JAN DENISE RELEASE: FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 11, 2009 'Safe' Strategy Is Your Downfall We've all tried to put what we hoped a hot prospect would see as our "best foot" forward, while trying to hide our "worst foot." Predictably, we fall on our face. If we want an ...
Views: 1153 - What Are You Doing to Your Child? - by Submitted on Sep 03, 2009 from Jan DeniseINSIDE RELATIONSHIPS WEEKLY COLUMN RELEASE: SEPTEMBER 4, 2009 What Are You Doing to Your Child? When you hold a newborn baby, you sense something God-like … I dare say, even if you're an atheist. A baby is untainted, sacred, perfect! It's important to hold that thought because ...
Views: 1303(3 votes) - See What Lurks Beyond Your Own Drama - by Submitted on Jul 30, 2009 from Jan DeniseINSIDE RELATIONSHIPS BY JAN DENISE RELEASE: FRIDAY, JULY 31, 2009 See What Lurks Beyond Your Own Drama Is there somebody who always leaves you feeling better than he found you? I used to live next door to such a person. Whenever I ran into Bob, whether it was for 20 seconds or 20 ...
Views: 1188(2 votes) - Slow Down the Clock - by Submitted on Jul 23, 2009 from Jan DeniseINSIDE RELATIONSHIPS BY JAN DENISE RELEASE: FRIDAY, JULY 24, 2009 Slow Down the Clock As I mentioned last week, we can't stop the aging process; but we (SET ITAL) can (END ITAL) slow it down … and appreciate the blessing of time. A few wrinkles (OK, eventually, a lot of wrinkles) are ...
Views: 1281(3 votes) - Let the Fireworks Continue - by Submitted on Jun 24, 2009 from Jan DeniseAs we pause to celebrate our nation's freedom, it's apparent that we as individuals determine its value to us. We can -- and must, if (SET ITAL) we (END ITAL) are to be free -- declare individual freedom; and we can do it on the same grounds: (SET ITAL) We hold these truths to be ...
Views: 1126 - What of Our Fathers? - by Submitted on Jun 18, 2009 from Jan DeniseWe can be quick to judge our parents. There are so many things they could have done better. That is, if they had been better trained. We tend to compare our parents -- at least during some stage in our lives -- with an ideal that virtually no parent measures up to. If we must compare them, ...
Views: 984(2 votes) - Think Thoughts Are Inconsequential? - by Submitted on Jun 11, 2009 from Jan DeniseIt's tough enough to assume responsibility for our actions and words. Should we, can we, also be responsible for our thoughts and intentions? Those are private, right? Yours alone? Apparently not. According to Marilyn Schlitz, president of the Institute of Noetic Sciences, we're ...
Views: 1065 - You Choose: Honored Guest or Guest Of - by Submitted on Mar 19, 2009 from Jan DeniseINSIDE RELATIONSHIPS BY JAN DENISE RELEASE: FRIDAY, MARCH 20, 2009 You Choose: Honored Guest or Guest Of? Especially if the economy has you in crisis mode, you might be looking for a savior, somebody who has everything and wants to share. After all, you have a lot to contribute, albeit ...
Views: 1134 - Her's Not a Stranger - by Submitted on Jan 28, 2009 from Jan DeniseHer's No Stranger While his mom and dad saw the eye doctor, he colored pictures and helped Tweety Bird through a maze. And when he found a tic-tac-toe page, he asked me, "Do you want to play tic-tac-toe with me?" "Her's not a stranger, her's a nice lady," he told his parents. That was my ...
Views: 953 - Stop Looking to Find Somebody - by Submitted on May 15, 2008 from Jan DeniseINSIDE/NAKED RELATIONSHIPS BY JAN DENISE RELEASE: FRIDAY, MAY 16, 2008 Stop Looking to Find Somebody If you're single and looking for a partner or just a date, you've probably felt impatient, maybe downright frustrated. I hear from a lot of lonely people who want to know how to find ...
Views: 1071 - Learn Your Partner's Language - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2008 from Jan DeniseWe can look on as an aunt and uncle berate each other year after year and know that, despite appearances, they love each other. There was the time when he thought he was going to lose her to cancer, or the time when she jumped to his defense when somebody else attacked him. Nonetheless, we ...
Views: 1008 - Get What You Want for Valentine's Day - by Submitted on Feb 04, 2008 from Jan DeniseINSIDE/NAKED RELATIONSHIPS BY JAN DENISE RELEASE: FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 1, 2008 Get What You Want for Valentine's Day Valentine's Day is for the infatuated, the brokenhearted, the deeply in love, the old and worn, the young and anxious … and, of course, the coupled and the single. It's for ...
Views: 905 - How Attractive Are You? - by Submitted on Dec 12, 2007 from Jan DeniseINSIDE/NAKED RELATIONSHIPS BY JAN DENISE RELEASE: FRIDAY, DECEMBER 14, 2007 How Attractive Are (SET ITAL) You (END ITAL)? The media hosts an ongoing parade of beautiful people. They even offer commentary on the most beautiful eyes, lips and buttocks … helping us to embrace both a false ...
Views: 941 - Rejection Is Inflated In and Out of Relationships - by Submitted on Dec 05, 2007 from Jan DeniseThe heart-wrenching pain of a breakup can be too severe to deny. But we don't have to get pushed out the door to feel the pain of rejection. Eons ago our survival depended on being sensitive to rejection -- without the protection of the clan, we were dead meat. Now, what used to save our hides ...
Views: 924 - Trust Senses, Not Imagination - by Submitted on Nov 21, 2007 from Jan DeniseINSIDE/NAKED RELATIONSHIPS BY JAN DENISE RELEASE: FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 23, 2007 Trust Senses, Not Imagination With personal online encounters, our five senses get fed by our imaginations! We can't smell or touch or taste or hear the would-be object of our affections. We can't (SET ITAL) ...
Views: 937 - Have Your "Affairs" At Home - by Submitted on Nov 14, 2007 from Jan DeniseINSIDE/NAKED RELATIONSHIPS BY JAN DENISE RELEASE: FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 16, 2007 Have Your "Affairs" at Home Illicit affairs are about sex. And it strikes me that at some point we might grow out of their shallow gratification. I can see the jaws dropping. But come on, sex is, well, sex. It's ...
Views: 934 - Blinded By Lies--Not Love - by Submitted on Nov 06, 2007 from Jan DeniseINSIDE/NAKED RELATIONSHIPS BY JAN DENISE RELEASE: FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 9, 2007 Blinded -- Not By Love, But Lies How is it that people "wake up" after 12 years of marriage (or 3 years of dating) and realize that if they ever had anything, it's gone? People really do grow apart. But there's more ...
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