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Articles from Tina Tessina | Selfgrowth.com
- Dr. Romance on dealing with disappointment - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2018 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance has heard a lot of whining and complaining lately, so I thought I'd give you some tips on dealing with disappointment: OK, so you're disappointed. Your dream has ended in the trashbin. So, after you get finished with laying on the floor, kicking your heels, and ...
Views: 904 - Dr. Romance on Domestic Violence - by Submitted on Jul 14, 2014 from Tina TessinaAs a Psychologist, Dr. Romance knows that when we're surrounded by images of violence, it becomes "normalized" and we stop seeing it as unusual. Anyone who watches the news is becoming aware that we live in a violent society: According to the Peace Alliance: • ...
Views: 2299 - Dr. Romance on Emotional Hygiene - by Submitted on Jul 15, 2013 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: A couple of years ago, I had some difficult dental work. It was very painful, and while I recovered physically pretty quickly, I had some post -traumatic stress reactions – bad dreams, flashbacks, and upset – after my recovery. I had to acknowledge my upset and feelings, ...
Views: 1610 - Dr. Romance on Friends in Need: Interventions for Domestic Violence - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2021 from Tina TessinaLast month, Dr. Romance received the following letter from a reader: “A topic I would like you to cover/explore is that curious phenomenon which permits otherwise independent women to be dominated...even abused...by males with whom they share some sort or relationship. Why is it that a ...
Views: 883 - Dr. Romance on Getting Along With Each Other - by Submitted on Nov 23, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance reflects: One of the things I'm very grateful for in my life is the opportunities I have had to travel and see the world. When I see a world in turmoil: earthquakes, war, terrorism, famine, political upheaval, inflation, human rights violations: I think not of the ...
Views: 1257 - Dr. Romance on Giving Thanks - by Submitted on Nov 30, 2014 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance wishes you a Happy Thanksgiving! A lot of people aren’t very good at looking at the positive. I hear a lot of negativity, blaming and complaining daily in my counseling office, and I find the more negative people are, the worse their lives work. Talking about how bad it all is seems ...
Views: 1207 - Dr. Romance on Gratitude, Kindness and Happiness - by Submitted on May 23, 2013 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: The founding fathers of our country saw the “pursuit of happiness” as an inalienable right – so important they embedded it in the DNA of the United States of America, by writing it into the Preamble to the Constitution. It was a profoundly new idea at the time. With it, ...
Views: 1757 - Dr. Romance on how Couples Can Cooperate for Success - by Submitted on May 20, 2011 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: You have probably entered relationships madly in love, convinced that your feelings for each other were so strong your dream would carry you through the tough times, but wound up feeling more like you were living in a nightmare than a dream, struggling with conflicting wants ...
Views: 938 - Dr. Romance on How to Help a Friend Who is Depressed - by Submitted on Nov 03, 2014 from Tina TessinaIt's not easy to know what to do when you have a friend who seems depressed. Dr. Romance has some guidelines to help you support and care for your dear one. 1. Don't try to cheer your friend up. It just sounds like you don't understand. 2. Listen, listen, listen: Your friend ...
Views: 1409 - Dr. Romance on How to Write a Love Letter: put your relationship in perspective - by Submitted on Mar 09, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr Romance adapted this from an Alcoholics Anonymous handout: We often get out of touch or out of sorts with people – sometimes they leave or pass on, sometimes we quarrel, sometimes we just grow apart. If your connection, or lack of one, with someone is troubling you, here’s a simple way to ...
Views: 1577 - Dr. Romance on Less Talk, More Action - by Submitted on May 18, 2016 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Those of you who have read my articles know that I am always talking about the importance of good communication, urging better communication, and giving skills for being better understood. Communication is one of the most important aspects of relationships; positive and ...
Views: 1019 - Dr. Romance on Love and Chemistry - by Submitted on Feb 21, 2014 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Many of my clients want to know: What is a safe surrender to love? They have been in love before, and have gotten hurt. While we all are aware of the joy and beauty of love, and the profound pleasure of being in love, most of us are also afraid of mistakes, of making a wrong ...
Views: 1365 - Dr. Romance on Love and Chemistry - by Submitted on Jun 26, 2021 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Many of my clients want to know: What is a safe surrender to love? They have been in love before, and have gotten hurt. While we all are aware of the joy and beauty of love, and the profound pleasure of being in love, most of us are also afraid of mistakes, of making a wrong ...
Views: 543 - Dr. Romance on Love Styles - by Submitted on Sep 29, 2014 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: There was a time when life seemed very hard, so hard I tried not to think about it.. Several times I helped to destroy some very viable relationships. Changing myself, my life and my loves has been very exciting and fulfilling, yet I am still growing. Love Styles is intended ...
Views: 1364 - Dr. Romance on Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences - by Submitted on Jun 02, 2014 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: It was one of those magical encounters with a personal truth—you know how it feels. I was fifteen, in ninth-grade English. The teacher, Mr. Rizzutto, read us a poem, and it had such a profound effect on me that even five decades later, I’m still using it as a guide. The ...
Views: 1653 - Dr. Romance on Relationships 101: Do Opposites Attract? - by Submitted on Jun 21, 2013 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: It seems logical that like would attract like, but in my private practice as a marriage counselor and psychotherapist, I often see people drawn to their opposite ‑‑ because it's new and exciting. However, what’s exciting in the newness of romance often becomes ...
Views: 2278 - Dr. Romance on Self-Reliance and Independence - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2015 from Tina Tessina"As the price of liberty is vigilance -- so the price of independence is self-determination, the price of dignity is self-assertion, and the price of respect is self-respect," wrote psychiatrist Dr. Thomas Szasz. Dr. Romance knows that self-determination and self-respect are the ...
Views: 2508 - Dr. Romance on Silver and Gold: secrets to making and keeping friends - by Submitted on Feb 27, 2015 from Tina TessinaMake new friends, keep the old. One is silver, the other is gold.——adage Research conducted by Dr. Dean Ornish and others shows that the happiest and healthiest people are those who are well-connected to friends and family. But, in our mobile society, keeping friends is not always possible. ...
Views: 1188 - Dr. Romance on spreading kindness - by Submitted on Jan 09, 2014 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance on spreading kindness Spreading kindness is the best way I know to be happy. If you want to spread kindness around, here are some ideas: *Kindness begins on the inside – learn to be as kind in talking to yourself as you are to others – then, keep improving. Self-talk sets the bar ...
Views: 1482 - Dr. Romance on Staying Young - by Submitted on Jan 16, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance is aware that there is a heavy emphasis on youth in today's culture. Companies and individuals want to sell you potions, clothing, makeup, diets, exercise and attitudes and other magic to help you stay young. But, scientific research shows that these things ...
Views: 1255 - Dr. Romance on The Importance of Humor - by Submitted on Oct 14, 2011 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: We are such an inventive species. We are also a species with a sense of humor. I think the two are connected. It takes a sense of humor to be able to stumble around in an unfamiliar situation until you figure it out. Current research has indicated that humor, ...
Views: 957 - Dr. Romance on The Perks of Dating a Divorced Person - by Submitted on May 24, 2014 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance asks: Should you date someone who is divorced? Does it mean the person can't commit or trashes relaitonships? It's possible that those things are true, but let's look on the positive side. What are the perks of people who have already been through ...
Views: 2018 - Dr. Romance on The Right Way to Love - by Submitted on May 10, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: There’s a pervasive myth in our society that there is a right and a wrong way to love. However, there’s not much clarity about what the right might be. We all have difficulty with relationships and difficulty with love. Therefore, we’re liable to draw the uncomfortable ...
Views: 1199 - Dr. Romance on The Worrier’s Guidelines: simple steps to combat worry - by Submitted on Mar 16, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Often, it seems that there are not enough hours in the day to do everything that must be done, and like the Red Queen in Alice in Wonderland we have to run as fast as we can just to stay in place. And she was created before computers, cell phones and e-mail! ...
Views: 1148 - Dr. Romance on The Worrier’s Guidelines: simple steps to combat worry - by Submitted on Mar 16, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Often, it seems that there are not enough hours in the day to do everything that must be done, and like the Red Queen in Alice in Wonderland we have to run as fast as we can just to stay in place. And she was created before computers, cell phones and e-mail! ...
Views: 1177 - Dr. Romance on To Help An Addicted Friend - by Submitted on Oct 25, 2013 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: I’ve been talking with clients a lot recently about what to do if someone you love or care for is self-destructing through addiction, or is making it difficult to be a friend because they’re out of control. We all have had some dramatic examples on television and in ...
Views: 2072 - Dr. Romance on To Help An Addicted Friend - by Submitted on May 26, 2021 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: I’ve been talking with clients a lot recently about what to do if someone you love or care for is self-destructing through addiction, or is making it difficult to be a friend because they’re out of control. We all have had some dramatic examples on television and in ...
Views: 654 - Dr. Romance on Your Job on Earth - by Submitted on May 11, 2018 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: It's easy to get discouraged when we become aware of the suffering throughout the world: natural disasters; racial prejudice; addiction and self-destruction; political oppression in its many forms (starvation, war, torture, misinformation, imprisonment, denial of ...
Views: 931 - Dr. Romance on: Am I too old to date again? - by Submitted on Dec 10, 2019 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: In today's world, people don't often realize the importance of companionship until later in life. Staying fit and physically and socially active increases your odds of finding someone to date, and also increases your libido and your chances of successful sex. But, ...
Views: 698 - Dr. Romance on: Apology and Forgiveness - by Submitted on Apr 04, 2011 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: In my clinical experience, I've encountered many clients who are afraid to admit they're wrong. This comes from a culture of blaming and accusing -- where one's early family may have picked a "culprit" when something went wrong, and focused on blame, rather than on fixing ...
Views: 1415 - Dr. Romance on: Intuition or Inner knowing - by Submitted on May 18, 2016 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: When I met Richard , my husband, October 10, 1981, he was sitting outside, and the sun was glinting off his red hair, and my whole body and soul said "wow!" We married on May 9, 1982, and thirty-four years later, we’re still happy. It ...
Views: 2922 - Dr. Romance on: It's a Dirty Job: Use the Silly Solution for a Healthy Relationship - by Submitted on Feb 16, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Early in our marriage, after a difficult struggle between us, I gave my husband Richard a card. All over the front it said, "I love you," and inside it said, "It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it." That phrase has carried us through many ...
Views: 1405 - Dr. Romance on: Kindness and Happiness - by Submitted on Sep 27, 2018 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Recently, I went through very unpleasant and difficult dental work, and the outpouring of kindness I received -- from my husband, who held onto my ankle all through the two and a half hours (and had nightmares that night about it) to my dear friends, who offered me support ...
Views: 981 - Dr. Romance on: Mirrors and Teachers - by Submitted on Nov 12, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: There are people in my life who are easy to be around, and others I love who are more difficult for me. It’s not that they’re bad people, others get along with them fine, and, actually, so do I. It’s just that I have to work a little bit more to ...
Views: 1273 - Dr. Romance on: No Cooperation? Solve It Yourself! - by Submitted on Apr 29, 2013 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: What do you do after you have tried everything and your partner, friend, child or colleague still won't negotiate? In previous articles, like “Asking for What you Want,” “Couples Can Cooperate for Success” and “Gentle Persistence” we’ve explored a lot of ...
Views: 2436 - Dr. Romance on: Resolving Couple Fights over Finances - by Submitted on May 07, 2021 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance on Resolving Money Fights: Money talks need to be a part of scheduling weekly meetings - not just for money, but also for catching up with one another. Bills, social planning, long-term goals and working on your relationship are just some of the issues you'll discuss. Just ...
Views: 537 - Dr. Romance on: The Power of Purpose - by Submitted on Jan 31, 2018 from Tina Tessina"Whatever your age, if you learn to listen, your inner voice will speak to you about your path," writes oncologist Dr. Bernie Siegel in Peace, Love and Healing, "your ‘job on earth.’ This wisdom that is directing you from within is your birthright... an inner message, an inner awareness, ...
Views: 1275 - Dr. Romance video: Am I too old to date again? - by Submitted on Sep 12, 2013 from Tina TessinaClick Here for Video In today's world, people don't often realize the importance of companionship until later in life. Staying fit and physically and socially active increases your odds of finding someone to date, and also increases your libido and your chances of successful sex. But, ...
Views: 1651 - Dr. Romance Video: Dating after Widowhood - by Submitted on Mar 04, 2014 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance discusses advice on dating after widowhood. To view the video, click here. Dr. Romance's 3 Tips for Finding New Love For a while after a relationship ends, you may not feel like considering a new relationship, which is probably good. Jumping right from ...
Views: 1717 - Dr. Romance video: Do men have biological clocks? - by Submitted on Jul 28, 2014 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance on men and biological clocks: To watch video, click here Yes, a man can feel the need to grow up and have a family, especially when he finds a woman who inspires those feelings in him. The problem is, how can you be sure the match is a good one? You’d think the positive ...
Views: 1935 - Dr. Romance Video: Guidelines for Co-Parenting after Divorce - by Submitted on Sep 23, 2012 from Tina Tessina(To view video, click here.) No matter how angry or hurt you may be after a divorce, if you have children, you’ll still share a lifetime with their other parent, your ex. Dr. Romance offers guidelines for moving past the anger and hurt, and finding a way to co-parent your children that is ...
Views: 2388 - Dr. Romance Video: How to Deal with an Annoying Boyfriend - by Submitted on Mar 05, 2012 from Tina TessinaGuys, especially younger ones, are well known for having 'courting behavior' and then relaxing into their old, slobby selves once you're committed. It's not that men are from Mars, women from Venus - it's more like all of us have grown up on different planets. Couples can get caught up in ...
Views: 2759 - Dr. Romance Video: How to Decide Whether or Not to End Your Marriage - by Submitted on Sep 02, 2014 from Tina TessinaTo watch video, click here Dr Romance: Should you stay in your marriage? Marriage can be frustrating and disappointing, especially if you don't have the skills to fix it. But giving in to the frustration and leaving may turn out to be the worst thing you ever did. Consider these ...
Views: 1811 - Dr. Romance Video: Is there a right way to ask for more sex? - by Submitted on May 27, 2013 from Tina TessinaTo watch the video click here: Dr. Romance's Guidelines for Creating a Sexual Agreement: * Set up a problem-solving session: * Having a time to talk about sex will help you create trust and sexual openness which makes finding solutions much easier. * Begin with reassurance and ...
Views: 2376 - Dr. Romance Video: On Dating in the Workplace - by Submitted on Nov 08, 2012 from Tina TessinaTo view the video, click here. Work can be the ideal environment for falling in love: you are in close proximity for a long period of time, you may have developed a good working partnership, and from there it is a short step to romance. However, workplace romance can present big problems. Dr. ...
Views: 2208 - Dr. Romance Video: Repairing a Dysfunctional Mother/Daughter Relationship - by Submitted on May 28, 2012 from Tina Tessina(Watch the video here: http://youtu.be/1Fp55ZFayeU) When you hit your teens you and your mom had a bad time, and you still are. Maybe she's not the mother you always wanted, but she's yours. How do you bury the hatchet and repair your connection? This will also be helpful for moms trying to ...
Views: 2680 - Dr. Romance Video: Why does my husband insist on being right? - by Submitted on Jun 10, 2013 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance video, click here for video When your partner refuses to help solve the problem, you have no choice but to focus on your own need until you get cooperation. As long as you offer every opportunity to cooperate and you extend an invitation to your partner to join you whenever he ...
Views: 2066 - Dr. Romance's Newest Ebook: The Real 13th Step - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance announces The Real 13th Step:Discovering Confidence, Self-Reliance, and Independence Beyond the Twelve-Step Programs Dear readers: So many of you have written and e-mailed to ask about The Real 13th Step that I'm delighted to have this new edition in print. It's the ...
Views: 2258 - Dr. Romance's Seven Steps to Help You Learn Patience - by Submitted on Oct 23, 2017 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance Writes: Frequently, life can become very busy and stressful. Delayed gratification, or patience, is a skill many of my clients need to learn when life feels overwhelming or difficult; but it isn't always easy, because it requires patience. Learning to be ...
Views: 1174 - Dr. Romance: 4 Tips for handling Post-holiday blues - by Submitted on Jan 19, 2011 from Tina TessinaDr Romance writes: Everyone is relieved when the holidays are over, and sometimes disappointed. If you're worn out, it's worth your while to take the time to recharge a little, and pamper yourself. Here are some hints: * If you are disappointed, and the holidays let you down in some way, ...
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