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Articles from Rick Hanson | Selfgrowth.com
- Find Your North Star - by Submitted on Jun 21, 2021 from Rick HansonI did a meditation retreat (at Spirit Rock, a wonderful place, including for workshops). One evening as we walked out of the hall after the last sit, I felt rattled and discombobulated. (One of the benefits of a retreat - though it can be uncomfortable - is that it stirs up the sediments of your ...
Views: 213 - Cling Less, Love More - by Submitted on Jun 14, 2021 from Rick HansonAs a rock climber and a parent, I know some physical kinds of clinging are good - like to small holds or small hands! But clinging as a psychological state has a feeling of tension in it, and drivenness, insistence, obsession, or compulsion. As experiences flow through the mind - seeing, ...
Views: 201 - Pay Attention - by Submitted on Jun 07, 2021 from Rick HansonMoment to moment, the flows of thoughts and feelings, sensations and desires, and conscious and unconscious processes sculpt your nervous system like water gradually carving furrows and eventually gullies on a hillside. Your brain is continually changing its structure. The only question is: Is ...
Views: 204 - Leave the Red Zone - by Submitted on May 31, 2021 from Rick HansonThere I was recently, my mind darting in different directions about projects in process, frazzled about little tasks backing up, uneasy about a tax record from 2010 we couldn’t find, feeling irritated about being irritable, hurrying to get to work, body keyed up, internal sense of pressure. Not ...
Views: 222 - Be Benevolent - by Submitted on May 24, 2021 from Rick HansonBenevolence is a fancy word that means something simple: good intentions toward living beings, including oneself. This goodwill is present in warmth, friendliness, compassion, ordinary decency, fair play, kindness, altruism, generosity, and love. The benevolent heart leans toward others; it ...
Views: 222 - Make The Offering - by Submitted on May 17, 2021 from Rick HansonOne of the strangest and most meaningful experiences of my life occurred when I went through Rolfing (ten brilliant sessions of deep-tissue bodywork) in my early 20's. The fifth session works on the stomach area, and I was anticipating (= dreading) the release of buried sadness. Instead, there ...
Views: 191 - Don't Beat Yourself Up - by Submitted on May 10, 2021 from Rick HansonA previous JOT - admit fault and move on - was about our relationship with other people. This JOT applies the same practice to ourselves. Most people know their less than wonderful qualities, such as too much ambition (or too little), a weakness for wine or cookies, something of a temper, or ...
Views: 229 - Admit Fault and Move On - by Submitted on May 03, 2021 from Rick HansonHave you ever watched two people quarrel, or otherwise be stuck in a conflict with each other? Usually, if either or both of them simply acknowledged one or more things, that would end the fight. Recall a time someone mistreated you, let you down, dropped the ball, made an error, spoke ...
Views: 275 - Your Body - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2021 from Rick HansonAs a kid, I was really out of touch with my body. I hardly noticed it most of the time, and when I did, I prodded it like a mule to do a better job of hauling "me" - the head - around. This approach helped me soldier through some tough times. But there were costs. Many pleasures were numbed, ...
Views: 204 - Back to Basics - by Submitted on Apr 19, 2021 from Rick HansonIn middle school, I thought it would be cool to play a musical instrument and picked the clarinet. My wise parents rented one rather than buying it, and I started practicing. (In the garage because it sounded pretty screechy.) After a week or two of doing scales, I got bored and picked my way ...
Views: 231 - Know You're a Good Person - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2021 from Rick HansonFor many of us, perhaps the hardest thing of all is to believe that "I am a good person." We can climb mountains, work hard, acquire many skills, act ethically - but truly feel that one is good deep down? Nah! We end up not feeling like a good person in a number of ways. For example, I once ...
Views: 248 - Feed the Wolf of Love - by Submitted on Apr 05, 2021 from Rick HansonI once heard a teaching story in which an elder, a grandmother, was asked what she had done to become so happy, so wise, so loved and respected. She replied: "It's because I know that there are two wolves in my heart, a wolf of love and a wolf of hate. And I know that everything depends on which ...
Views: 254 - Drop Tart Tone - by Submitted on Mar 29, 2021 from Rick HansonTone matters. I remember times I felt frazzled or aggravated and then said something with an edge to it that just wasn't necessary or useful. Sometimes it was the words themselves: such as absolutes like "never" or always," or over-the-top phrases like "you're such a flake" or "that was ...
Views: 256 - Lower The Pressure - by Submitted on Mar 22, 2021 from Rick HansonThings come at us with so much urgency and demand these days. Phones ring, texts buzz, emails pile up, new balls have to be juggled, work days lengthen and move into evenings and weekends, traffic gets denser, financial demands feel like a knife at the neck, ads and news clamor for attention, ...
Views: 240 - See Beings, Not Bodies - by Submitted on Mar 15, 2021 from Rick HansonWhen we encounter someone, usually the mind automatically slots the person into a category: older, younger, your friend Tom, the kid next door, etc. Watch this happen in your own mind as you meet or talk with a co-worker, salesclerk, or family member. In effect, the mind summarizes and ...
Views: 240 - Step Into The Cloud - by Submitted on Mar 08, 2021 from Rick HansonI had a lightbulb moment recently: I was feeling stressed about all the stuff I had to do (you probably know the feeling). After this went on for a while, I stepped back and kind of watched my mind, and could see that I was thinking of these various tasks as things, like big rocks that were ...
Views: 254 - Love the World - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2021 from Rick HansonTo simplify and summarize, our brain has three primary motivational systems – Avoiding harms, Approaching rewards, and Attaching to “us” – that draw on many neural networks to accomplish their goals. Lately, I’ve started to realize that a fourth fundamental human motivational system could be ...
Views: 283 - Hug the monkey - by Submitted on Feb 22, 2021 from Rick HansonTo simplify a complex process spanning 600 million years, your brain developed in ways that are loosely related to three major stages of vertebrate evolution: Reptile - Brainstem, focused on avoiding harms Mammal - Subcortex, focused on approaching rewards Primate/human – Neocortex, ...
Views: 281 - Feed the Mouse - by Submitted on Feb 15, 2021 from Rick HansonTo simplify a complex process spanning 600 million years, your brain developed in ways that are loosely related to the three major stages of vertebrate evolution: Reptile – Brainstem, focused on avoiding harms Mammal – Subcortex, focused on approaching rewards Primate – Neocortex, ...
Views: 278 - Pet The Lizard - by Submitted on Feb 08, 2021 from Rick HansonI've always liked lizards. Growing up in the outskirts of Los Angeles, I played in the foothills near our home. Sometimes I'd catch a lizard and stroke its belly, so it would relax in my hands, seeming to feel at ease. In my early 20's, I found a lizard one chilly morning in the mountains. ...
Views: 283 - Give Over to Good - by Submitted on Feb 01, 2021 from Rick HansonIn every moment, you and I and everyone and everything else – from quantum foam to fleeting thoughts, intimate relationships, rainforest ecosystems, and the stars themselves – are each a kind of standing wave, like the ever-changing though persistent pattern of water rising above a boulder in a ...
Views: 250 - Empty the Cup - by Submitted on Jan 25, 2021 from Rick HansonOnce upon a time, a scholar came to visit a saint. After the scholar had been orating and propounding for a while, the saint proposed some tea. She slowly filled the scholar's cup: gradually the tea rose to the very brim and began spilling over onto the table, yet she kept pouring and pouring. ...
Views: 310 - Remember the Big Things - by Submitted on Jan 18, 2021 from Rick HansonIn every life, reminders arrive about what's really important. I’ve received some myself, as I’m sure you have, too. Perhaps it was news of a potentially serious health problem, the death of a loved one, or an accident that could have turned fatal. These are uncomfortably concrete message ...
Views: 270 - Rest - by Submitted on Jan 11, 2021 from Rick HansonThis practice is definitely a case of teaching what you need to learn: I've been working through a big bucket of tasks lately with little chance to rest. (I console myself with knowing that the bucket is emptying a lot faster than it's filling with new tasks.) Sometimes you can really feel ...
Views: 344 - Relax, You've Arrived - by Submitted on Jan 04, 2021 from Rick HansonPart of this comes from our biological nature. To survive, animals – including us – have to be goal-directed, leaning into the future. It’s certainly healthy to pursue wholesome aims, like paying the rent on time, raising children well, healing old pain, or improving education. But it’s ...
Views: 303 - See Your Part - by Submitted on Dec 28, 2020 from Rick HansonIn situations or relationships with any kind of difficulty – tension, feeling hurt, conflicts, mismatches of wants . . . the usual crud – it’s natural to focus on what others have done that’s problematic. This could be useful for a while: it can energize you, highlight what you most care ...
Views: 283 - Drop the Case - by Submitted on Dec 21, 2020 from Rick HansonLately I've been thinking about a kind of "case" that's been running in my mind about someone in my extended family. The case is a combination of feeling hurt and mistreated, critique of the other person, irritation with others who haven't supported me, views about what should happen that ...
Views: 379 - Make Good Bargains - by Submitted on Dec 14, 2020 from Rick HansonLife is full of tradeoffs between benefits and costs. Sometimes, the benefits are worth the costs. For example, the rewards of going for a run - getting out in fresh air, improving health, etc. - are, for me at least, worth the costs of losing half an hour of work time while gaining a pair of ...
Views: 263 - Receive Faces - by Submitted on Dec 07, 2020 from Rick HansonAs our ancestors evolved over millions of years in small bands, continually interacting and working with each other, it was vitally important to communicate in hundreds of ways each day. They shared information about external "carrots" and "sticks," and about their internal experience (e.g., ...
Views: 280 - Try Being Less Serious - by Submitted on Nov 16, 2020 from Rick HansonOn the path of life, most of us are hauling way too much weight. What's in your own backpack? If you're like most of us, you've got too many items on each day's To Do list and too much stuff in the closet. Too many entanglements with other people. And too many "shoulds," worries, guilts, and ...
Views: 354 - Relax, You're Going to be Criticized - by Submitted on Aug 24, 2020 from Rick HansonThe title of this practice is a little tongue-in-cheek. What I mean is, most of us - me included - spend time worrying about criticism: past, present, and even future. Yes, try hard, keep agreements, "don't be evil," etc. But sooner or later - usually sooner - someone is going to point out the ...
Views: 334 - Ask Questions - by Submitted on Jul 13, 2020 from Rick HansonMy dad grew up on a ranch in North Dakota. He has a saying from his childhood - you may have heard it elsewhere - that's: "You learn more by listening than by talking." Sure, we often gain by thinking out loud, including discovering our truth by speaking it. But on the whole, listening brings ...
Views: 375 - See Good Intentions - by Submitted on Jun 10, 2019 from Rick HansonHustling through an airport, I stopped to buy some water. At the shop’s refrigerator, a man was bent over, loading bottles into it. I reached past him and pulled out one he’d put in. He looked up, stopped working, got a bottle from another shelf, and held it out to me, saying “This one is cold.” ...
Views: 399 - Wake Up To Good News - by Submitted on Feb 18, 2019 from Rick Hanson"Tell the truth." It's the foundation of science, ethics, and relationships. But we have a brain that evolved to tell lies to help us survive. As I've written before, over several hundred million years our ancestors: Had to avoid two kinds of mistakes: thinking there's a tiger in the ...
Views: 453 - Lower The Pressure. - by Submitted on Aug 13, 2018 from Rick HansonThings come at us with so much urgency and demand these days. Phones ring, texts buzz, emails pile up, new balls have to be juggled, work days lengthen and move into evenings and weekends, traffic gets denser, financial demands feel like a knife at the neck, ads and news clamor for attention, ...
Views: 604 - Relax, You’ve Arrived - by Submitted on Jun 04, 2018 from Rick HansonWe spend so much of our time trying to get somewhere. Part of this comes from our biological nature. To survive, animals – including us – have to be goal-directed, leaning into the future. It’s certainly healthy to pursue wholesome aims, like paying the rent on time, raising children well, ...
Views: 613 - Is It Worth It? - by Submitted on May 14, 2018 from Rick HansonLife is full of tradeoffs between benefits and costs. Sometimes, the benefits are worth the costs. For example, the rewards of going for a run - getting out in fresh air, improving health, etc. - are, for me at least, worth the costs of losing half an hour of work time while gaining a pair of ...
Views: 640 - Do You Accept The Gift? - by Submitted on Mar 26, 2018 from Rick HansonLife gives to each one of us in so many ways. For starters, there’s the bounty of the senses – including chocolate chip cookies, jasmine, sunsets, wind singing through pine trees, and just getting your back scratched. What does life give you? Consider the kindness of friends and family, ...
Views: 781(1 vote) - Are You Feeling Unneeded Pain? - by Submitted on Mar 19, 2018 from Rick HansonPainful experiences range from subtle discomfort to extreme anguish - and there is a place for them. Sorrow can open the heart, anger can highlight injustices, fear can alert you to real threats, and remorse can help you take the high road next time. But is there really any shortage of ...
Views: 852 - What Are You Saying? - by Submitted on Mar 12, 2018 from Rick Hanson"Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me." Ah, not really. Often it's words - and the tone that comes with them - that actually do the most damage. Just think back on some of the things that have been said to you over the years - especially those said with ...
Views: 712 - What Do You Do When The Bottom Falls Out? - by Submitted on Jan 15, 2018 from Rick HansonIt takes heart to live in even ordinary times. By "taking heart," I mean several related things: Sensing your heart and chest Finding encouragement in what is good both around you and inside you Resting in your own warmth, compassion, and kindness; resting in the caring for ...
Views: 707 - There's Been Mistreatment or Injustice - Now What? - by Submitted on Nov 21, 2017 from Rick HansonIt’s easy to treat people well when they treat you well. The real test is when they treat you badly. (Much of what I say here applies to concerns about injustice or mistreatment that threatens or happens to others, from someone bullying a child to an oppressive government, but I will focus on ...
Views: 725 - Speak From Your Heart. - by Submitted on Nov 13, 2017 from Rick HansonOne Christmas I hiked down into the Grand Canyon, whose bottom lay a vertical mile below the rim. Its walls were layered like a cake, and a foot-high stripe of red or gray rock indicated a million-plus years of erosion by the Colorado river. Think of water - so soft and gentle - gradually ...
Views: 783 - Do You Care? - by Submitted on Oct 23, 2017 from Rick HansonCompassion is essentially the wish that beings not suffer - from subtle physical and emotional discomfort to agony and anguish - combined with feelings of sympathetic concern. You could have compassion for an individual (a friend in the hospital, a co-worker passed over for a promotion), ...
Views: 695 - Where Does It Hurt? - by Submitted on Oct 09, 2017 from Rick HansonWe're usually aware of our own suffering, which - broadly defined - includes the whole range of physical and mental discomfort, from mild headache or anxiety to the agony of bone cancer or the anguish of losing a child. (Certainly, there is more to life than suffering, including great joy and ...
Views: 639 - Who is Behind the Mask? - by Submitted on Aug 07, 2017 from Rick HansonMost of us wear a kind of mask, a persona that hides our deepest thoughts and feelings, and presents a polished, controlled face to the world. To be sure, a persona is a good thing to have. For example, meetings at work, holidays with the in-laws, or a first date are usually not the best time ...
Views: 644 - Who Do You Trust? - by Submitted on Jul 31, 2017 from Rick HansonAs I grew up, at home and school it felt dangerous to be myself - my whole self, including the parts that made mistakes, got rebellious and angry, goofed around too loudly, or were awkward and vulnerable. Not dangers of violence, as many have faced, but risks of being punished in other ways, ...
Views: 606 - What Do Others Want? - by Submitted on Jul 17, 2017 from Rick HansonHustling through an airport, I stopped to buy some water. At the shop's refrigerator, a man was bent over, loading bottles into it. I reached past him and pulled out one he'd put in. He looked up, stopped working, got a bottle from another shelf, and held it out to me, saying "This one is cold." ...
Views: 739 - Can You Be With The Whole Of Your Psyche? - by Submitted on Jul 11, 2017 from Rick HansonWhen you're young, the territory of the psyche is like a vast estate, with rolling hills, forests and plains, swamps and meadows. So many things can be experienced, expressed, wanted, and loved. But as life goes along, most people pull back from major parts of their psyche. Perhaps a swamp of ...
Views: 833 - Did You Truly Choose This Path? - by Submitted on Jul 04, 2017 from Rick HansonThe human body has about 100 trillion cells (plus another ten quadrillion microscopic critters hitching a ride, most of them beneficial or harmless). Each one of your cells has aims - goals, in a sense - controlled by its DNA: cells conduct processes aimed at particular functions, like building ...
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