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Articles by Karla Downing

Browse published articles attributed to Karla Downing, with full-archive search.

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By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Codependency: Helping Those That Won't Help Themselves

There are many facets to Christian codependency. One of them is that there are some people who refuse to help themselves. Martyrs suffer because they get a payoff: They feed an image that says, "I don't deserve anything better, so I'll continue to endure this." Along with the martyr stroking his or her self-esteem for being so willing to suffer, comes the abrogation of responsibility, which says, "I don't have any choice." Other people aren't willing to make an effort to help themselves out of laziness and irresponsibility. So how do you help those who won't help themselves?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

14,057 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Why Love Is a Choice, Not an Emotion

Why is love a choice and not an emotion? The emotional component of love that we associate with feeling "loving" isn't consistent. For a relationship to be solid, there has to be consistency. Choosing to love means one will choose actions that demonstrate love regardless of the emotion that is felt (1 Corinthians 13). Here are five things that you choose to do when you love someone whether you are feeling angry, disappointed, distant, hurt, upset, loving, irritated, happy, unhappy or anything else:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

13,640 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Relationship Help: Five Keys to Overcome Jealousy

Are you looking for Christian relationship help to overcome jealousy? Proverbs 27:4 says: "Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy? Jealousy is indeed a strong emotion that infects and affects a relationship. Jealousy can be felt toward anyone: friends, siblings, parents, spouses, co-workers, children, and others. Except the jealousy that should be felt toward someone your partner is cheating on you with, you need to deal with your jealousy and not let it infect your relationships. You can do this by using these five keys to overcoming jealousy:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

10,461 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christians and Divorce: Five Keys to Successful Dating After Divorce

Christians get divorced as much as non-Christians. They also face similar issues with successful dating after divorce too except that some of the Christian stereotypes about marriage may not apply in second marriages. Here are five keys to successful dating after divorce that will help you find a good partner.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

8,941 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Relationship Help: Four Ways to Respond to Passive Aggressive Behavior

This Christian relationship help will provide you with four ways to respond to passive aggressive behavior in the people you interact with. The closer a person is to you, the more the passive aggressive behavior will be problematic. Jesus warned us to be on guard against people who will attempt to manipulate, harm, outmaneuver, and abuse us.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

8,028 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Boundaries With Adult Children: Lessons From the Prodigal Son

Are you trying to figure out your boundaries with your adult children? Then you will benefit from these lessons from the prodigal son. In Luke 15:11-32, a son asks for his inheritance early and then leaves his home to spend it foolishly. When he hits a bottom and realizes he needs to come home to survive, he returns to find his father running to meet him and subsequently throwing him a party to celebrate his return. Instead of being treated like a servant, he was treated as a son.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

5,640 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Boundaries: Five Guidelines to Set Scriptural Boundaries in Difficult Relationships

Do you struggle with setting Christian boundaries? Difficult relationships require you to set boundaries, yet the complicated relationship dynamics make setting boundaries hard to do. To make it worse, there are common misunderstandings about what the Bible says about boundaries that cause us to be too passive and willing to tolerate unacceptable things. You can use these five guidelines to help you set scriptural boundaries in your difficult relationships. 1. Boundaries should help you take care of yourself.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

5,574 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Relationship Help: Recognizing Emotional Manipulation

This Christian relationship help will enable you to recognize emotional manipulation. Dysfunctional people often use tactics to manipulate you to get what they want. These people are usually skilled at recognizing the weaknesses they can exploit. The only way to counter their ability to get to you is to recognize the tactics so you can stand against them. Jesus warned that we should be on our guard because some people will want to hurt us and that some of them will be from our own families (Matthew 10:17; 35).

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

5,453 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

A Seven Step Plan For Detaching From Manipulative People - Christian Relationship Help

Are you looking for Christian relationship help? Then here is a seven step plan for detaching from manipulative people.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

4,904 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

How to Be a Good Christian Wife

Are you looking for guidance on how to be a good Christian wife? If so, here are seven things you simply must do. 1. Pray for your husband. The world is a difficult place for a man. They are competing in the marketplace for jobs, feeling the weight of the financial burden of providing for a family, and having to deal with many stressors beyond their control. They are also in a world that increasingly assaults their masculinity.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

4,747 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Relationship Help: Causes of Anxiety in Relationships

Are you looking for Christian relationship help to understand the various causes of anxiety in relationships? Anxiety is mental or emotional distress or uneasiness because of an underlying fear. Relationships evoke deep emotional reactions-many of which we don't really identify fully. These emotional reactions are often experienced as mild to severe anxiety. Here are eight common causes of anxiety in relationships and their underlying beliefs:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

4,695 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Relationship Help: Six Things Toxic In-Laws Do That Damage Your Marriage

Are you looking for Christian relationship help regarding your in-laws? This article will identify six things toxic in-laws do and why each of them is undermining to the unio God wants you to have in your marriage relationship. God intended you to leave your families and be united to each other (Genesis 2:24). These are the six things that toxic in-laws do that are destructive to your marriage:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

4,527 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Codependency - How to Detach and Still Stay Engaged in the Relationship

This article addresses Christian codependency by showing you how to detach and still stay engaged in the relationship. Detachment is the opposite of being attached or enmeshed. It is similar to differentiation or individuation where it is implied that you have a separateness that allows you to be who you are in the midst of a relationship. It is the opposite of Christian codependency where you are so dependent on another that you are unable to feel, be, choose, think and act independently to live your own life and feel overly responsible for others' choices.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

4,029 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian submission, submission in marriage, how do wives submit, is submission control, Christian

Are you looking for Christian marriage help to answer the question: Does submission mean being controlled? Whenever a woman tells me she is struggling with submission in her marriage, I suspect a difficult marriage. The question is typically phrased as "Do I have to submit to my husband no matter what he asks me to do or am I allowed to say no?" In difficult marriages, submission is taken literally and often used abusively by a spouse to control and manipulate. Listen to this woman's experience:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,999 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

9 Dysfunctional Family Maneuvers by People in the Bible

Dysfunctional family maneuvers allow the family to deal with their emotions and anxiety without having to face the truth about what is really going on. Dysfunction entered families when sin entered the human race in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve's "first family" experienced dissention, the murder of one son, the banishment of another son, and more. Since then, families continue to be dysfunctional in the way they deal with problems. Consider these 9 maneuvers and their functions in the family: 1. The Cut-off

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,997 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Four Dysfunctional Family Characteristics That You Can Change

Dysfunctional families have similar characteristics regardless of the individual problems. Here are four dysfunctional family characteristics that you can change:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,951 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Codependency: Was Jesus a Codependent?

Are you looking for help with Christian codependency? If you are, you are probably interested in knowing if Jesus was a codependent. Many would answer "Yes" based on the following characteristics of Jesus that are typical of codependents: -Jesus was selfless.rn-Jesus was a servant.rn-Jesus gave up his life for others.rn-Jesus cared deeply about people who were hurting.rn-Jesus tried to fix hurting people.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,876 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Relationship Help - Fight, Flight, Or Freeze Responses To Fear In Difficult Relationships

This Christian relationship help will enable you to identify these three responses to fear in difficult relationships: fight, flight, or freeze. Each results in different problems in the relationship. 1. Fight

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,291 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

9 Relationship Red Flags - What Not to Overlook, Excuse, Or Deny

These 9 Relationship Red Flags have the potential of being overlooked, excused, or denied. All are reasons to stop, look, and listen to what is going on and carefully consider whether or not you should continue in the relationship. All have the potential of desensitizing you to their affects the longer you are in the relationship.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,266 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Father-Daughter Relationships Influence A Woman's View of God: Three Things Women Need

There are three things women need from their earthly father to have a healthy relationship with God.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,252 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

How to Change 5 Dysfunctional Family Rules to Functional Family Rules

How do you change 5 dysfunctional family rules to functional family rules? You simply do and encourage the opposite of the dysfunctional rules. Instead of Don't talk. Don't trust. Don't feel, and Don't be selfish, you Talk, Trust, Feel, Take Care of Yourself, and Rock the Boat.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,206 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Marriage Help: Let Go Of The Obsession Over Your Husband's Behavior

Are you looking for Christian marriage help that will enable you to let go of the obsession over your husband's behavior? Whatever takes up your mental and emotional energy and robs you of the ability to live your life is your obsession.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,109 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Four Common Misconceptions About Forgiveness

We are commanded to forgive those that injure us, if we want to be forgiven by God (Matthew 6:14-15). Here are four common misconceptions about forgiveness that make it more difficult to do:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,075 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Marriage Help for Christians - 5 Stages Of Grief In Affairs For The Betrayed Spouse

This marriage help for Christians explains the five stages of grief that the betrayed spouse will go through when discovering that the spouse is having an affair. The last thing we plan on when we get married is our partner being unfaithful. People typically say that they would never tolerate it and would definitely divorce. But when the reality hits home, most people try to save their marriages. Christians typically have the idea that divorce is Biblically allowed as a result of an affair but that God prefers they try to work it out and most do try (Matthew 5:31-32).

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,023 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Abusive Relationships: Changing Your Victim Mentality

Abusive relationships challenge our ability to take care of ourselves and leave us feeling victimized. It is important that you work on changing your victim mentality. Many of us complain that we are victims in our relationships. By claiming we are victims, we are giving up our power to do something different. We are a victim when we are truly powerless and without options. Children are victims because they have aren't able to care for themselves by virtue of their age and the fact that they are under the control of their parents.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,991 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Marriage Help: Boundaries With Sex for Christian Wives

Are you looking for Christian marriage help regarding boundaries with sex in your relationship with your husband? If you believe you can't say no, are uncomfortable with your husband's sexual requests, find yourself disliking or avoiding sex, or are upset with your husband looking at pornography, then this article will give you the answers you are looking for. Here are four boundaries you can have with sex.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,987 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christians Surviving Divorce - 6 Things You Need to Know Now

If you are a Christian surviving divorce, here are six things you need to do now. Divorce isn't easy for anyone, but you can make it easier for yourself by doing these six things.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,986 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christians and Divorce - 5 Tips to Get Your Ex-Spouse Out of Your Head

Are you a Christian going through a divorce? Are you struggling with getting your mind off your spouse? Do you find yourself thinking about your spouse obsessively trying to figure out what he/she is doing and thinking? Do you wonder what your spouse thinks about you? Do you want to make your spouse see your point of view? Do you think more about your spouse than yourself? If you answered yes, it is time to take your focus off your ex and put it onto yourself. These tips will help you do that:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,909 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Dysfunctional Family Christmas: 6 Tips for Making the Holidays Functional

Are you dealing with a dysfunctional family Christmas? Use these 6 tips for making the holidays functional. Togethe ess, love, family, tranquility, magic, unity, happiness, and gifts--We are told we should have all these things at Christmas and when we don't have them, we feel disappointed and despairing. Anything short of that ideal is painful and everything not right about our lives and relationships is exaggerated.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,873 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Setting Boundaries With Your Adult Children: Five Signs You Are Enabling Your Adult Child

Are you wondering if you are enabling your adult child? These five signs will help you to determine whether or not you are helping or hurting. "Enabling" means that your action allows someone to continue to do something they otherwise couldn't do without it. It is also doing something for others that they should be doing for themselves.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,731 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Relationship Help: Five Unhealthy Characteristics of Dysfunctional Families

This Christian relationship help will give you five unhealthy characteristics of dysfunctional families that were also present in families in the Old Testament. God created families to be a place of nurture, love, and companionship, but when sin entered the picture, families became a place where people hurt other people they are supposed to love. Here are the five unhealthy characteristics of dysfunctional families:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,672 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Three Causes of Christian Codependency

Are you looking for help for your Christian codependency? If so, one of the things you might be wondering is what caused your codependency. In the 1980s, codependency was originally used to describe the dysfunctional patterns of family members of chemically dependent people who were also called the "co-addict" or "co-alcoholic." It was later broadened to include other people dealing with other types of difficult relationships.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,650 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Relationship Help - 5 Steps For Overcoming Fears In Relationships

This Christian relationship help offers five steps to overcome fear by enabling you to face your fears and deal with them rather than propagate or avoid them. Relationships stir up many fears in us, especially when people are doing things that we disagree with.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,524 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Parenting: How To Teach Your Son To Respect Women

It is your job as a parent to teach your children. Much of this teaching has to be intentional. One of the things that you must be conscious of is how to teach your son to respect women. God created men and women to be different but not to be any less valuable. Throughout history, women have been controlled, abused, and mistreated by men. The church needs to follow Jesus' example and treat women as equals that deserve to be treated with respect. Do the following things:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,460 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Getting Past Stage One - Denial

Denial is stage one of the grief process when you are dealing with any type of loss. Getting past denial is necessary, in order to move into anger, bargaining, depression/sadness and then finally into acceptance. Denial serves an important purpose: it cushions your response to painful events. Just as your body goes into shock when it is injured, preventing you from feeling the pain, you go into emotional shock when you experience things that are too painful to deal with. Denial is necessary and good for awhile. You will know you are in the denial/shock stage by the following:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,460 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Parenting: Three Things Parents Do That Ensures Irresponsible Entitled Adult Children

Are you looking for Christian parenting help on how to raise responsible children? There is an epidemic of irresponsible adult children that need help from their parents well into adulthood. While there are justifiable reasons for this such as a bad economy, the high cost of living, the increase in college tuition, there are also plenty of unjustified reasons such as laziness, addictions, irresponsible decisions, and a lack of maturity. Prevention is always the best policy.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,444 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Codependency: Changing the Beliefs Underlying False Guilt

Are you struggling with Christian codependency? If you answered yes, then you probably experience feeling guilty often in your relationships. Codependents struggle with guilt in relationships because they hold untrue beliefs about relationships. They need to change their inaccurate beliefs about relationships to the following true beliefs:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,420 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Relationship Help: How to Honor and Respect Parents Who Aren't Honorable or Respectable

Are you looking for Christian relationship help to guide you in how to honor and respect parents who aren't honorable or respectable? One of the Ten Commandments given by God is to honor your mother and father and it came with the promise that the Israelites would live long in their land (Exodus 20:12). "Honor" means to show proper respect and value. It isn't difficult to figure out how to honor and respect parents that behave honorably and respectably, but how do you honor and respect parents that don't act that way?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,380 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christians and Boundaries: How To Teach Your Daughter Not to Tolerate Abuse

Are you a Christian struggling with boundaries? If so, you may be conce ed about what you are modeling to your daughter. As a parent of a daughter, you want her to be treated well by the men she will date and the man she will marry. This article will show you how to teach your daughter not to tolerate abuse in her relationships with men.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,230 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

What Makes Codependency Qualify As Christian Codependency?

Before we answer the questio "What makes codependency qualify as Christian codependency?" we need to understand the history of the term. In the 1980s, codependency was originally used to describe the dysfunctional patterns of family members of chemically dependent people who were also called the "co-addict" or "co-alcoholic." It was later broadened to include other people dealing with other types of difficult relationships and later to describe people who had a pattern of relating to all people in a codependent manner.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,222 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Codependency: How to Recognize Burnout

Are you looking for Christian codependency help that will enable you to recognize burnout? "Burnout" occurs when you have pushed yourself too far for too long (usually because you believe you have no other choice and God wants you to), and as a result you find yourself emotionally, physically, spiritually, and/or relationally spent. It is important to know how to recognize burnout so you can make adjustments before there are long-term negative consequences to your ministry, job, business, body, or relationships. Here are the signs:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,206 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Relationship Help: Five Characteristics of a Narcissist

This Christian relationship help will enable you to recognize five characteristics of a narcissist. Narcissism is difficult to deal with in relationships and recognizing it will enable you to respond differently to it. Jesus was constantly aware of what was in the heart of the people he dealt with. He knew when people were willing to hurt him, when people were insincere, when people were manipulating him, and when people were pretending. You need to know who you are dealing with so you can respond in a way that is wise. Here are five characteristics of a narcissist:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,200 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Relationship Help: Four Tips for Dealing With Difficult In-Laws

Are you looking for Christian relationship help in dealing with your difficult in-laws? Are you wondering how God wants you to deal with them? God wants you to respond in a way that protects your marriage instead of damaging it. Here are four tips you can use to deal with difficult in laws that will minimize the damage they can do to your life and marriage. Interestingly, they all have to do with your response to them since you cannot force them to change:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,178 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Setting Boundaries With Your Adult Children - How Much Involvement Is Enough?

How much involvement is enough when setting boundaries with your adult children? Just enough! You raise your children with the idea that when they tu 18, they will be completely independent with the exception of possibly paying for college. But just because a child turns 18 doesn't mean parenting isn't wanted or needed. What it does mean is that the relationship between a parent and an adult child needs to be different than the one between a parent and a minor child. This is a particularly relevant question for adult children with problems.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,152 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Codependency: Four Biblical Reasons You Need Strong Relationship Boundaries

If you are struggling with Christian codependency, you probably have weak boundaries. This article will give you four biblical reasons you need strong relationship boundaries. People will know their choices carry consequences. God has established the law of reaping and sowing to teach people that some of their choices aren't good. Galatians 6:7-8 says that if you sow bad things, you will reap bad results; if you sow good things, you will reap good results. When the violation of your boundaries has consequences, people will learn to make better choices.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,144 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Three Signs That You Haven't Forgiven Your Offender

It isn't always easy to know when you have actually forgiven someone, especially when it is someone close to you and the emotions run deep and the relationship is complicated. God commands you to forgive, if you want to be forgiven by him (Matthew 6:14-15), so it is important to know how to identify when you haven't forgiven. Here are the three signs that you haven't forgiven your offender:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,057 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

6 Scriptural Misunderstandings of Christian Codependency

The following 6 Scriptural misunderstandings form the basis of Christian codependency. They show how inaccurate Scriptural understandings contribute to Christian codependency. The cure is an accurate understanding of what the Bible says about ourselves and how we are to value ourselves compared to others in relationships. Here are the 6 Scriptural misunderstandings:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,049 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Marriage Help: Wives Believe Internet Pornography Is Cheating

Are you looking for Christian marriage help because you are a wife that believes internet pornography is cheating? "Internet cheating" is rampant even with men in the church. It includes viewing pornography, engaging in chat room conversations, sending personal pictures online, and self-stimulating while engaging in one of these activities. Women do not like their husbands engaging in this internet cheating and have the following emotional reactions:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,034 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christian Codependency: Are You a Mary or Martha in Your Relationships?

Are you struggling with Christian codependency? Answering these questions will help you determine whether you are a Mary or Martha in your relationships. In Luke 10:38-42, Jesus and his disciples were guests in the home of two sisters, Mary and Martha. Mary sat at Jesus' feet enjoying his company while Martha worked to make all the preparations to take care of the guests. When Martha complained, Jesus responded by saying, "You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her" (verses 41-42, NIV).

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,006 views

By Karla DowningRecently published1 topic

Christians and Boundaries: What Would Jesus Do in Your Difficult Relationship?

Boundaries in relationships aren't always easy to figure out due to the many complicated dynamics that can exist. Christians are conce ed with making choices in relationships that follow biblical principles to please God. It is helpful to look at how Jesus demonstrated boundaries in his relationships as an example of what we should do in ours.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,004 views

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